Do you think I'm special?
March 31, 2018 6:13 PM Subscribe
I'm trying to understand what makes women (or a single woman) special, amazing, fantastic from a male perspective?
I'm a woman who dates men. I know what a guy can do to make me feel awesome and lucky to have him. He would tell me I'm beautiful often enough, and marvel at my body. He would be able to fix things around the house, and, preferably, a car to some extent. Not that I'm helpless in this regard, but somehow him being handy is an aphrodisiac for me. He'd be sensitive. He would sometimes bring me flowers. He would have nice arms, and a nice neck. He'd be able to understand and support my feminist perspective. He'd be kind to me when I'm upset/cry (it's not that often). He'd bring me soup and walk my dog when I'm sick. He'd be straightforward and committed to the relationship. I don't think these things are rare for women to want in a guy. Am I right?
Then I have what I think more subjective wants, such as: he'd take me camping, like dogs, be an introvert, be affectionate, not a sports or bars or sport's bars nut, not a hunter.
But when it comes to men. What do you, men, think are awesome traits in a girlfriend? If you have an awesome girlfriend/wife - what makes her such? What special/endearing things does she do that make you love her more? What, in your mind, makes her irreplaceable?
Or if you are a female and know what your boyfriend/husband adores about you, please tell me too.
The reason I ask is I've spent quite a bit of time thinking about what I want in a guy and from a relationship. But I have only a vague idea what I have to offer, or if I have what it takes or what my special qualities are. I mean, I'm not bad looking, I don't think. I like outdoors and travel, I cook sometimes, and not bad, and I like to read, and watch movies, and hold hands and I'm sexual. But also, I'm rather quiet, sometimes insecure. My mood swings sometimes, and I'm not a domestic type, and not a wild type, and not a health nut type. Please help me become or feel more special, or give me a vocabulary to think more positively about myself. Maybe if you give me your girlfriend's awesome/special qualities, I'll be like "Oh! I'm like that too!" Even if it includes superficial things like "her nails are always done," or unique/hard to achieve things like "she tames tigers" - give them to me please.
I'm a woman who dates men. I know what a guy can do to make me feel awesome and lucky to have him. He would tell me I'm beautiful often enough, and marvel at my body. He would be able to fix things around the house, and, preferably, a car to some extent. Not that I'm helpless in this regard, but somehow him being handy is an aphrodisiac for me. He'd be sensitive. He would sometimes bring me flowers. He would have nice arms, and a nice neck. He'd be able to understand and support my feminist perspective. He'd be kind to me when I'm upset/cry (it's not that often). He'd bring me soup and walk my dog when I'm sick. He'd be straightforward and committed to the relationship. I don't think these things are rare for women to want in a guy. Am I right?
Then I have what I think more subjective wants, such as: he'd take me camping, like dogs, be an introvert, be affectionate, not a sports or bars or sport's bars nut, not a hunter.
But when it comes to men. What do you, men, think are awesome traits in a girlfriend? If you have an awesome girlfriend/wife - what makes her such? What special/endearing things does she do that make you love her more? What, in your mind, makes her irreplaceable?
Or if you are a female and know what your boyfriend/husband adores about you, please tell me too.
The reason I ask is I've spent quite a bit of time thinking about what I want in a guy and from a relationship. But I have only a vague idea what I have to offer, or if I have what it takes or what my special qualities are. I mean, I'm not bad looking, I don't think. I like outdoors and travel, I cook sometimes, and not bad, and I like to read, and watch movies, and hold hands and I'm sexual. But also, I'm rather quiet, sometimes insecure. My mood swings sometimes, and I'm not a domestic type, and not a wild type, and not a health nut type. Please help me become or feel more special, or give me a vocabulary to think more positively about myself. Maybe if you give me your girlfriend's awesome/special qualities, I'll be like "Oh! I'm like that too!" Even if it includes superficial things like "her nails are always done," or unique/hard to achieve things like "she tames tigers" - give them to me please.
This post was deleted for the following reason: Heya, this is kind of conflating a potential focused personal question ("this is my specific experience, help me understand it") with a much broader generalized chatfilter sort of thing ("what do guys like"), and the while the former is a workable fit for Ask it needs to be reworked to be more just that without the broad, anything-goes framing. Maybe give this another go tomorrow with a more concrete, less poll-the-audience rewrite. -- cortex
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posted by LakeDream at 6:35 PM on March 31, 2018