Weird letter with cash "refund."
March 31, 2018 6:38 PM Subscribe
I received an odd letter in the U.S. Mail with cash enclosed and an anonymous note. Should I be creeped out?
I received this letter a few days ago with $220 enclosed. (Hopefully Google Drive lets people see it.) I am told that the line toward the bottom is Hebrew for something like "have a blessed holiday," which perhaps refers to Passover. The letter was addressed to me by name - with a short version of my name that is not what you would get out of the phone book (e.g., Mike for Michael). So, sort of overly familiar.
I know I should be happy with the newfound cash, but the letter is sort of unsettling. For one, I'm wracking my brain to try to figure out where I got overcharged by $220. That's a lot not to notice and it makes me feel weird to know that someone noticed that I overpaid by that much and I walked away stupidly. For two, the tone of the letter is kind of odd -- it has this sort of teasing quality that begs me to ask questions that won't be answered.
I should just put this out of my mind and move on, but I thought I would ask: creepy or not? Any other insights into how I should be thinking about this?
I received this letter a few days ago with $220 enclosed. (Hopefully Google Drive lets people see it.) I am told that the line toward the bottom is Hebrew for something like "have a blessed holiday," which perhaps refers to Passover. The letter was addressed to me by name - with a short version of my name that is not what you would get out of the phone book (e.g., Mike for Michael). So, sort of overly familiar.
I know I should be happy with the newfound cash, but the letter is sort of unsettling. For one, I'm wracking my brain to try to figure out where I got overcharged by $220. That's a lot not to notice and it makes me feel weird to know that someone noticed that I overpaid by that much and I walked away stupidly. For two, the tone of the letter is kind of odd -- it has this sort of teasing quality that begs me to ask questions that won't be answered.
I should just put this out of my mind and move on, but I thought I would ask: creepy or not? Any other insights into how I should be thinking about this?
Eh, it’s a bit weird, but I can easily see this as “slightly awkward and sort of isolated person reaches out semi-anon to do (in his/her mind) a nice thing.”
I wouldn’t worry about it further.
posted by sevensnowflakes at 6:51 PM on March 31, 2018 [9 favorites]
I wouldn’t worry about it further.
posted by sevensnowflakes at 6:51 PM on March 31, 2018 [9 favorites]
I read the tone as trying to sort of skim past the reason they overcharged you because they didn't want to go into it because they feel they did something wrong and are embarrassed/ashamed - hence the discussion with the Rabbi. They're trying to avoid those questions, not encourage you to ask them.
posted by Brockles at 6:53 PM on March 31, 2018 [25 favorites]
posted by Brockles at 6:53 PM on March 31, 2018 [25 favorites]
Was the postmark local?
posted by phunniemee at 6:53 PM on March 31, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by phunniemee at 6:53 PM on March 31, 2018 [2 favorites]
yeah, this is the sorta awkward-but-well-meant thing I myself would do-- say if I was dog-sitting for someone and charged them $50/day because I thought their pit-bull dog would be a hassle, but it turned out to be a sweet fun pupper, and I felt guilty later because basically I overcharged them by making a false assumption that pit bull= trouble. Rather than explain all this (including the sorta unkind breed-bias admission), I might just do this kinda thing, especially if I figured I'd probably never be working for them again (they move away, etc).
posted by The otter lady at 6:54 PM on March 31, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by The otter lady at 6:54 PM on March 31, 2018 [4 favorites]
Response by poster: Yes, generic "Western Springs" postmark - a lot of mail in Chicago goes through there, so hard to know if it is meaningful.
posted by Mid at 6:56 PM on March 31, 2018
posted by Mid at 6:56 PM on March 31, 2018
I don’t find the tone of the letter teasing, exactly. More like, as Brockles says, trying to wave past speculation about who it’s from or what it’s about as the sender would rather just set things right.
Do you buy stuff online from smaller sellers/dealers, like from eBay, record or comics sellers, etsy, etc.?
Also could be the wrong address. (E.g., if they were looking for a Mike Cohen, Chicago, IL, and they found an address for Michael Cohen in Chicago that seemed like it could be right.)
posted by kapers at 6:59 PM on March 31, 2018
Do you buy stuff online from smaller sellers/dealers, like from eBay, record or comics sellers, etsy, etc.?
Also could be the wrong address. (E.g., if they were looking for a Mike Cohen, Chicago, IL, and they found an address for Michael Cohen in Chicago that seemed like it could be right.)
posted by kapers at 6:59 PM on March 31, 2018
It sounds to me like they made a mistake or slightly ethically dubious decision a long time back and have been feeling bad about it lately. Their Rabbi felt it had been an innocent enough action but probably figured offering to "return" the money would allow them to let go of their misplaced guilt. They have the sense that you'd agree with the Rabbi and tell them to keep the money, but they really want you to take it to make them feel better. I'd speculate they've become more strongly religious since you knew them/this happened, and that's where the "trying to connect" vibe you're getting comes from, as well as possibly their insistence upon making this "right".
posted by teremala at 7:32 PM on March 31, 2018 [17 favorites]
posted by teremala at 7:32 PM on March 31, 2018 [17 favorites]
Maybe it's part of some kind of 12-step thing? Isn't one of the steps that you need to ask forgiveness and make amends to the people you've done wrong, as best you can?
posted by The otter lady at 7:40 PM on March 31, 2018 [9 favorites]
posted by The otter lady at 7:40 PM on March 31, 2018 [9 favorites]
Disclaimer: I’m not Jewish. I might be very wrong.
I read a thing last week talking about how when getting ready for Passover and going through your pockets to get rid of chametz, you might also metaphorically “go through your pockets” to get rid of any ill-gotten money. Could it be this?
posted by Huffy Puffy at 7:45 PM on March 31, 2018 [10 favorites]
I read a thing last week talking about how when getting ready for Passover and going through your pockets to get rid of chametz, you might also metaphorically “go through your pockets” to get rid of any ill-gotten money. Could it be this?
posted by Huffy Puffy at 7:45 PM on March 31, 2018 [10 favorites]
The first thing that came to mind for me was that DW overcharged you on behalf of their employer, but the employer did not authorize a formal refund. DW feels bad and paid you back with their own personal funds. I did this once when I worked in retail. A customer brought in an item for maintenance, and I damaged it. Rather than get my store involved, I paid for a new replacement out of pocket. I've also confessed financial guilt to a priest before, so I don't find the Jewish thing to be anything more than coincidence. All it means is that DW's religious beliefs are important to them; therre doesn't seem to be an implication of shared values to me.
Your best course of action would be to try to think of someone whom you've overcharged in some way, and then send a similar refund to them. Pay it forward.
posted by kevinbelt at 7:54 PM on March 31, 2018 [4 favorites]
Your best course of action would be to try to think of someone whom you've overcharged in some way, and then send a similar refund to them. Pay it forward.
posted by kevinbelt at 7:54 PM on March 31, 2018 [4 favorites]
Not creepy.
posted by amtho at 8:49 PM on March 31, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by amtho at 8:49 PM on March 31, 2018 [1 favorite]
They’re making amends and asking nothing other than you keep what they believe they owed you. They don’t want a follow-up, they don’t want to impose, the end.
It sounds, as the rabbi says, commendable.
posted by zippy at 9:02 PM on March 31, 2018 [7 favorites]
It sounds, as the rabbi says, commendable.
posted by zippy at 9:02 PM on March 31, 2018 [7 favorites]
It is mysterious, but without knowing a lot more about your financial activities. I can't guess what it might be. The tone of the letter strikes me as kind of ... embarrassed and trying to cover up for it in a playful way.
The only thought I did have was if you're evading collections from, say, a lawsuit, and someone needs your bank account number for the paperwork, I think they might be able to get that depending on how you cash or deposit this. It's not generally a bad thing for people to have your account number (it's printed on your checks after all). But that's the only possible downside I can think of. And the quirkiness makes it seem legit and authentic to me.
posted by salvia at 9:06 PM on March 31, 2018
The only thought I did have was if you're evading collections from, say, a lawsuit, and someone needs your bank account number for the paperwork, I think they might be able to get that depending on how you cash or deposit this. It's not generally a bad thing for people to have your account number (it's printed on your checks after all). But that's the only possible downside I can think of. And the quirkiness makes it seem legit and authentic to me.
posted by salvia at 9:06 PM on March 31, 2018
I can't see another way for this person to give you this money without talking about why, so while it's weird, I don't see it as creepy because I don't think they'll follow up.
Some possible interactions where the overage may have happened-
Did you ever buy a used car from an individual?
Damage deposit from a previous rental?
Did you sublet or rent space from someone?
Did you buy any high-value items on Craigslist or similar?
Did you hire a contractor for anything?
posted by pseudostrabismus at 10:09 PM on March 31, 2018
Some possible interactions where the overage may have happened-
Did you ever buy a used car from an individual?
Damage deposit from a previous rental?
Did you sublet or rent space from someone?
Did you buy any high-value items on Craigslist or similar?
Did you hire a contractor for anything?
posted by pseudostrabismus at 10:09 PM on March 31, 2018
D.W. could also stand for 'don't worry'.
posted by h00py at 10:22 PM on March 31, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by h00py at 10:22 PM on March 31, 2018 [1 favorite]
I would not think twice about this other than what to do with the $220 now burning a hole in my pocket.
posted by AugustWest at 10:28 PM on March 31, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by AugustWest at 10:28 PM on March 31, 2018 [4 favorites]
someone needs your bank account number for the paperwork, I think they might be able to get that depending on how you cash or deposit this.
posted by zamboni at 10:47 PM on March 31, 2018 [5 favorites]with cash enclosed
Sounds to me like a letter from an older person who knew they overcharged you, didn't tell you, wanted to keep it and then felt guilty. That could also explain why you might not be able to think of where you overpaid -- perhaps it didn't happen all that recently and this person was carrying this guilt for a while.
I don't find it creepy or menacing -- sounds to me more like a bit of embarrassment. My first thought was that this letter was entirely sincere, but maybe they confused you with someone else and sent it to the wrong person. But the more I think about it, the more I think it could've been from a long time ago, hence the embarrassment of not coming forward sooner.
posted by AppleTurnover at 11:49 PM on March 31, 2018 [3 favorites]
I don't find it creepy or menacing -- sounds to me more like a bit of embarrassment. My first thought was that this letter was entirely sincere, but maybe they confused you with someone else and sent it to the wrong person. But the more I think about it, the more I think it could've been from a long time ago, hence the embarrassment of not coming forward sooner.
posted by AppleTurnover at 11:49 PM on March 31, 2018 [3 favorites]
Yeah. It reads, to me, like someone, probably an older person, who has been worrying about something lately and decided to make amends. Their rabbi has agreed that trying to pay back the money is justifiable, and they're trying to do it in a way that makes them feel safe. It seems possible that they're having some anxiety issues at the moment; I remember when my grandpa had a spell of mental ill health in his 70s he got obsessed with setting things straight for a bit. This somewhat evasive style seems like someone trying to reach out warmly and simultaneously protect themselves from embarrassing questions (or even a perceived threat of punishment).
posted by howfar at 11:51 PM on March 31, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by howfar at 11:51 PM on March 31, 2018 [4 favorites]
Not a scam. Keep it if you can use it or pay it forward. I am intrigued by the note - sounds like a well-educated, thoughtful person. Wish them well, or if you are religious, keep them in your prayers.
posted by Gnella at 3:24 AM on April 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Gnella at 3:24 AM on April 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
I think the note is a bit weird myself, and could have been written a little less mysteriously. But it does also sound like someone looking to make amends, to someone for something. Shrug. Do something nice with the money and move on.
posted by Jacen at 4:09 AM on April 1, 2018
posted by Jacen at 4:09 AM on April 1, 2018
Someone is trying to right a wrong, that’s all. If the money makes you uncomfortable, give it to charity.
posted by amro at 4:23 AM on April 1, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by amro at 4:23 AM on April 1, 2018 [4 favorites]
It sounds genuine t me - I would have no hesitation about keeping the money if I got a letter like that.
For one, I'm wracking my brain to try to figure out where I got overcharged by $220. That's a lot not to notice and it makes me feel weird to know that someone noticed that I overpaid by that much and I walked away stupidly.
I doubt if it was a direct retail transaction: I would assume it was some kind of repair or maintenance job where to some extent you have to take the tradesperson's word as to how much the job will cost. If a firm quoted you for x hours or premium materials for car maintenance or plumbing or other household repairs, and the tradesperson on the spot got it done in x-3 hours, or found some cheaper materials that worked, they might not realise at the time that you had been charged the original higher price. That's certainly the kind of thing that could prey on the mind of somebody conscientious. (And would also explain how they knew your address).
posted by Azara at 5:26 AM on April 1, 2018 [4 favorites]
For one, I'm wracking my brain to try to figure out where I got overcharged by $220. That's a lot not to notice and it makes me feel weird to know that someone noticed that I overpaid by that much and I walked away stupidly.
I doubt if it was a direct retail transaction: I would assume it was some kind of repair or maintenance job where to some extent you have to take the tradesperson's word as to how much the job will cost. If a firm quoted you for x hours or premium materials for car maintenance or plumbing or other household repairs, and the tradesperson on the spot got it done in x-3 hours, or found some cheaper materials that worked, they might not realise at the time that you had been charged the original higher price. That's certainly the kind of thing that could prey on the mind of somebody conscientious. (And would also explain how they knew your address).
posted by Azara at 5:26 AM on April 1, 2018 [4 favorites]
I reread this after a good night's sleep, and what sticks out to me most on the second reading is the word "commendable". Presumably, if DW had really owed you a debt of $220, restitution would have been required, not just "commendable". This leads me to believe that you would never have been aware of the overcharge.
Something about the word "commendable" suggests that the rabbi did not actually expect you to accept the refund, that the mere offer would be sufficient to expiate whatever guilt DW had. It seems clear that DW did not expect you to accept, since they intentionally did not provide you with an option to decline. This also leads me to believe that the original overcharge is not something you'd remember.
All of this indicates to me that DW is a sophisticated (and yes, anxious) moral thinker. I suspect that one of the questions DW anticipates you asking is for them to explain their system of moral thought that made this otherwise trivial ($220 is, in the grand scheme, a pretty insignificant sum, and we've established that it's unlikely you even noticed) interaction with you into such a big deal. If it is as complicated as I'm guessing (and it sounds more complicated than Judaism, which is thousands of years of midrash), taking the time to explain it to you woupd be onerous. And if DW is an amateur whose thought hasn't been subject to academic rigor, they might be apprehensive about criticism or outright rejection of their belief system.
There are also a lot of more mundane, practical questions that DW probably doesn't want you to ask, either. Most notably, how did they find your address?
A lot of the unease in your question seems to be related to the Jewish connection. Would this still read as "creepy" to you without the Hebrew text or the mention of a rabbi? It's possible that DW is using a shared religion to try to establish a connection, but there are other explanations as well. Perhaps you were originally overcharged because anti-Semite saw your name, and DW feels bad about that injustice. Perhaps DW doesn't care about your religion or ethnicity; they may have sent the same letter had you been Orthodox Christian.
posted by kevinbelt at 5:29 AM on April 1, 2018 [3 favorites]
Something about the word "commendable" suggests that the rabbi did not actually expect you to accept the refund, that the mere offer would be sufficient to expiate whatever guilt DW had. It seems clear that DW did not expect you to accept, since they intentionally did not provide you with an option to decline. This also leads me to believe that the original overcharge is not something you'd remember.
All of this indicates to me that DW is a sophisticated (and yes, anxious) moral thinker. I suspect that one of the questions DW anticipates you asking is for them to explain their system of moral thought that made this otherwise trivial ($220 is, in the grand scheme, a pretty insignificant sum, and we've established that it's unlikely you even noticed) interaction with you into such a big deal. If it is as complicated as I'm guessing (and it sounds more complicated than Judaism, which is thousands of years of midrash), taking the time to explain it to you woupd be onerous. And if DW is an amateur whose thought hasn't been subject to academic rigor, they might be apprehensive about criticism or outright rejection of their belief system.
There are also a lot of more mundane, practical questions that DW probably doesn't want you to ask, either. Most notably, how did they find your address?
A lot of the unease in your question seems to be related to the Jewish connection. Would this still read as "creepy" to you without the Hebrew text or the mention of a rabbi? It's possible that DW is using a shared religion to try to establish a connection, but there are other explanations as well. Perhaps you were originally overcharged because anti-Semite saw your name, and DW feels bad about that injustice. Perhaps DW doesn't care about your religion or ethnicity; they may have sent the same letter had you been Orthodox Christian.
posted by kevinbelt at 5:29 AM on April 1, 2018 [3 favorites]
The Hebrew literally means "[have a] kosher and happy holiday." The reference to kosher suggests to me that the holiday being referred to is Passover (Pesach), which is now. One odd thing about this is that this kind of "making amends" is more something that would happen at Rosh Hashannah/Yom Kippur than Pesach - but that doesn't preclude an individual deciding to make amends at some other time of the year.
Overall, I agree with the general responses you're getting: someone feels guilty for an overcharge you wouldn't have noticed (maybe they gave you a bill that included this overcharge, and you paid it without ever even knowing it was an overcharge; maybe they decided later that the price they quoted you had been unfair by that amount) and is trying to make things right without getting into too many details.
posted by 2 cats in the yard at 5:38 AM on April 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
Overall, I agree with the general responses you're getting: someone feels guilty for an overcharge you wouldn't have noticed (maybe they gave you a bill that included this overcharge, and you paid it without ever even knowing it was an overcharge; maybe they decided later that the price they quoted you had been unfair by that amount) and is trying to make things right without getting into too many details.
posted by 2 cats in the yard at 5:38 AM on April 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
I wouldn't worry about it, I think the sender only has good intentions. I'd take the money and give it to my local food bank or other charity of your choice.
posted by james33 at 6:21 AM on April 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by james33 at 6:21 AM on April 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
Don't worry about it. This is someone awkwardly trying to do the right thing and not having a good way to do that. If you're uncomfortable with the money, I'm sure your local food bank would love to have it.
posted by bile and syntax at 9:38 AM on April 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by bile and syntax at 9:38 AM on April 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
I don’t think it’s creepy either, although it would drive me crazy trying to figure out the mystery. Other than that, I think it’s fine, and as others have suggested, if you feel uncomfortable, pay it forward instead of keeping it.
posted by holborne at 1:33 PM on April 1, 2018
posted by holborne at 1:33 PM on April 1, 2018
I think it's possible that the original overcharge was not $220, and the person is paying it back at least a few times over, or has added interest.
posted by attercoppe at 5:17 PM on April 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by attercoppe at 5:17 PM on April 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
Could it be something like a security deposit that you didn't get a full return on? Or perhaps someone trying to help you out, but unsure if you'd accept money so they concocted a cover story?
The tone doesn't strike me as intentionally creepy...more like they just want you to take the money without asking questions.
posted by christinetheslp at 6:12 PM on April 1, 2018
The tone doesn't strike me as intentionally creepy...more like they just want you to take the money without asking questions.
posted by christinetheslp at 6:12 PM on April 1, 2018
I think it's possible that the original overcharge was not $220, and the person is paying it back at least a few times over, or has added interest.
Or that it was a repeated overcharge several times and this is the total. For example, they overcharged you $20 eleven times.
posted by Rock Steady at 6:58 AM on April 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
Or that it was a repeated overcharge several times and this is the total. For example, they overcharged you $20 eleven times.
posted by Rock Steady at 6:58 AM on April 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
Someone is just trying to make amends to you. Traditionally I know that’s kind of a Yom Kippur thing that would happen in September, but people can want to set things right at any time. Maybe the person is dying and wants to have a clean slate. That is my hunch. You will probably never work out who feels that they morally owe you the money, so just enjoy the bonus cash.
posted by w0mbat at 9:25 AM on April 2, 2018
posted by w0mbat at 9:25 AM on April 2, 2018
I got a hundred bucks accompanied by a similar note in the mail many years ago. I, too, couldn't figure out who sent me the money. After a great deal of cogitation, the only possibility I could come up with was a former friend who'd done me a wrong turn several years previously. Perhaps that was his way of salving his conscience - assuming it was him. Or perhaps the sender mistook me for someone else, and accidentally made restitution to the wrong person. I dunno. At the time, I was unemployed and seriously broke, so I was grateful to the sender, whoever it was.
posted by Lunaloon at 11:51 AM on April 2, 2018
posted by Lunaloon at 11:51 AM on April 2, 2018
I helped out a friend who was waist deep in a drug issue with numerous rides, booked hotel rooms or found places to stay, gave towels, clothes, made food, lended a couch to crash on, etc. They began to take advantage of me to the point where i cut them out of my life and i didn't talk to them for over 2 years (ignored their messages, etc.). AFter a while, the tone of their messages convinced me that they had actually kicked their habit and when i met up with them hte first time they tried to give me a few hundred bucks to compensate for being a real shit head. This letter sounds like that sort of thing, except from someone who doesn't necessarily want to pop back in your life.
posted by WeekendJen at 8:40 AM on April 3, 2018
posted by WeekendJen at 8:40 AM on April 3, 2018
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by Mid at 6:41 PM on March 31, 2018