Can badgers swim across one's moat?
January 27, 2018 6:52 PM Subscribe
The local badger population has recently become more brazen in their nocturnal wanderings and adventures. This has led to unacceptable conduct, namely unwelcome intrusions into the garden of one's lady friend, causing distress to bushes and other flora. What effective measures can one take to deter such incursions, without causing harm or injury to either badger or human?
You can't do much about Badgers. They do what they do. Thats about it.
posted by sanka at 7:14 PM on January 27, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by sanka at 7:14 PM on January 27, 2018 [4 favorites]
Best answer: I know this sounds a little weird, could your lady friend borrow a dog for a while? Most fauna do not like large dogs. Like a neighbor's mastiff just can live with her for a week patrolling the gardens and barking and generally being a dog. Then the smell of the dog in the gardens should linger and repel most beasts who would not want to meet a large mastiff. Of course procuring a large mastiff might be difficult. But probably less difficult than the urine of a large dog which would also probably deter fauna in general. A loaner from the local pound? Maybe it wouldn't even have to live with her, she could just walk it in her gardens for a while and hopefully the badger incursions would stop. She'd be doing a service for the poor pound dog, socializing it and giving it walkies and pets, and the badgers in their nocturnal wanderings would smell it and nope out of there. Hopefully.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 7:45 PM on January 27, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 7:45 PM on January 27, 2018 [1 favorite]
You might try applying PlantSkyyd, which is made of - I believe - dried bovine blood. It works like a charm to keep the moose from browsing on my plants in Alaska. It's sold as a powder both online and in garden stores in the US, and is a mess to mix with water as the directions instruct. But it works. Whether it would work for badgers, I don't know. Might be worth a try - good luck!
posted by summerstorm at 9:33 PM on January 27, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by summerstorm at 9:33 PM on January 27, 2018 [1 favorite]
Badgers don't eat most garden plants- unless the issue is that they are digging them up looking for worms?- and semi hibernate. It's January. Are you sure it's badgers causing the issue? If they are then a good fence is probably best - buried in the ground a bit with a lip to prevent easy digging. Now a badger could tunnel under any fence but in general animals will not expend that kind of energy and will move on unless there is something amazing beyond the fence, but it doesn't sound like it.
posted by fshgrl at 11:18 PM on January 27, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by fshgrl at 11:18 PM on January 27, 2018 [3 favorites]
Best answer: Perhaps a motion activated sprinkler? You can't target it just to badgers though, any critter will set it off.
posted by oneirodynia at 11:39 PM on January 27, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by oneirodynia at 11:39 PM on January 27, 2018 [2 favorites]
Best answer: I cannot testify to this, but I have heard that human urine in strategic locations will deter badgers. And probably neighbours as well.
If that doesn’t appeal then better fences - bearing in mind they can climb anything low or bash their way through/burrow under anything less sturdy.
Also clear up anything on the ground that might be attracting them (and/or the invertebrates they eat) - old fallen fruit, birdseed from feeders.
posted by Catseye at 11:54 PM on January 27, 2018 [3 favorites]
If that doesn’t appeal then better fences - bearing in mind they can climb anything low or bash their way through/burrow under anything less sturdy.
Also clear up anything on the ground that might be attracting them (and/or the invertebrates they eat) - old fallen fruit, birdseed from feeders.
posted by Catseye at 11:54 PM on January 27, 2018 [3 favorites]
Is widening the moat out of the question? I've always thought there's something romantic to be said about having one's castle in a small lake. I would hazard there is a distance beyond which the average British badger will not swim (they are on an island, after all), or will at least stop and give it a good hard think before doing so. Any that did make it, you could at least rest assured they had earned their nibbles through vigorous exercise.
Or I suppose there's always piranhas. Perhaps a bit chilly for them, so you might have to heat the castle's moat, but it would allow you to avoid dredging a lake and have the added benefit of keeping the peasants out, once word got 'round, of course. I do realize you'd prefer not to cause harm, so perhaps you could instead just post a sign that says "Danger, Piranhas" and provide reading lessons for the badgers. (And possibly the peasants too!) This might very well be cheaper than dredging the moat into a lake.
On the whole though, I've always understood them to be rather persistent, meaning something like badger fencing/netting is a more reasonable solution if there's a vegetable patch involved. (Link pulled at random. I just remembered hearing the phrase 'badger fence' at some time in the past).
posted by los pantalones del muerte at 1:44 AM on January 28, 2018 [5 favorites]
Or I suppose there's always piranhas. Perhaps a bit chilly for them, so you might have to heat the castle's moat, but it would allow you to avoid dredging a lake and have the added benefit of keeping the peasants out, once word got 'round, of course. I do realize you'd prefer not to cause harm, so perhaps you could instead just post a sign that says "Danger, Piranhas" and provide reading lessons for the badgers. (And possibly the peasants too!) This might very well be cheaper than dredging the moat into a lake.
On the whole though, I've always understood them to be rather persistent, meaning something like badger fencing/netting is a more reasonable solution if there's a vegetable patch involved. (Link pulled at random. I just remembered hearing the phrase 'badger fence' at some time in the past).
posted by los pantalones del muerte at 1:44 AM on January 28, 2018 [5 favorites]
Best answer: If it were me, I think I'd be contacting the UK National Wildlife Crime Unit who pay special attention to Badger Persecution. They have created a Badger Awareness Training Module that is more heavily focused on, probably, not harassing badgers but might have some tips. it was theoretically made available to all local police, might be something yours could scare up?
posted by jessamyn at 5:37 AM on January 28, 2018 [5 favorites]
posted by jessamyn at 5:37 AM on January 28, 2018 [5 favorites]
Response by poster: Are you sure it's badgers causing the issue?
Yes; seen, heard and smelled (badgers have a distinctly different odour/stink to foxes and deer). Despite badgers being an annoyance I don't want them to come to harm as they are an integral part of the rural ecosystem and we both like them. There's also a lot of seriously unpleasant people who will harm or kill badgers for whatever "reason", hence I'm being vague with the location and other specifics. Stringent planning restrictions here also make some of the more physical suggestions not an option, unfortunately.
posted by Wordshore at 6:01 AM on January 28, 2018 [2 favorites]
Yes; seen, heard and smelled (badgers have a distinctly different odour/stink to foxes and deer). Despite badgers being an annoyance I don't want them to come to harm as they are an integral part of the rural ecosystem and we both like them. There's also a lot of seriously unpleasant people who will harm or kill badgers for whatever "reason", hence I'm being vague with the location and other specifics. Stringent planning restrictions here also make some of the more physical suggestions not an option, unfortunately.
posted by Wordshore at 6:01 AM on January 28, 2018 [2 favorites]
I am surprisingly delighted that “Badger Awareness Training Module” is an actual thing that was created by someone...or more likely, a committee.
posted by bookmammal at 6:11 AM on January 28, 2018 [6 favorites]
posted by bookmammal at 6:11 AM on January 28, 2018 [6 favorites]
One might venture to suggest considering an electric fence to keep the little blighters out.
posted by monotreme at 9:33 AM on January 28, 2018
posted by monotreme at 9:33 AM on January 28, 2018
It got mixed reviews on Amazon, but there's Silent Roar, which are pellets saturated with the heady top notes of lion poo.
posted by Martha My Dear Prudence at 10:39 AM on January 28, 2018
posted by Martha My Dear Prudence at 10:39 AM on January 28, 2018
Response by poster: Badger update: we are trying human pee, because it's easy to obtain and (apart from needing to buy more tea to increase ... throughput) it's free.
Early days (or, nights) yet, but so far no badgers have crossed TLOP (The Line Of Pee). Remaining cautiously optimistic.
posted by Wordshore at 2:58 PM on February 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
Early days (or, nights) yet, but so far no badgers have crossed TLOP (The Line Of Pee). Remaining cautiously optimistic.
posted by Wordshore at 2:58 PM on February 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
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