Remembering why I loved exercise
October 24, 2017 12:48 PM   Subscribe

After being an avid runner/cyclist/yogi for several years, I've fallen off the wagon. I've had a lot of 'false starts' trying to get back on the wagon, to little success- I think my longest streak of regular exercise (5-6 days a week) was for about three weeks in a row. Please help me.

About ten years ago, following the end of an abusive relationship, I discovered serious exercise. I became obsessed with being a 'physically strong woman' and took great pleasure in the act of cycling, sprinting, lifting weights, and intermediate-to-advanced level yoga. Yes, I lost weight, but I also gained muscle, energy, enthusiasm and, most importantly, self-esteem. I felt great about myself. It goes without saying that this positivity found its way into all other aspects of my life - career, finances, friendships and relationships, creativity and hobbies.

Around two years ago, I decided I wanted to see if I could live without being on an antidepressant. (I have ADHD, depression and anxiety, for which I've been taking medicine and undergoing CBT for the past decade). Wellbutrin is the only antidepressant that works for me (I've tried many) and this was the one I stopped taking. I made it through about three months without it, during which time I became sluggish, quit exercising, and was all around apathetic. I didn't care about anything, including the fact that I quit exercising.

Eventually I recognized what this was doing to my life as a whole (everything, from getting out of bed for work to starting a load of laundry, became a mountain-sized struggle) and went back on Wellbutrin. While I am better off, I was never able to get back into exercise the way I was before. I tried taking small steps - starting with tiny habits like "just do one or two squats while you brush your teeth in the morning" - as well as reminding myself that I had to rebuild my past stamina and that I shouldn't beat myself up for that. It probably didn't help that I quit going to the gym on my lunchbreak at work. This used to help keep me 'regular' because it was so easy to just go downstairs to the basement, on my lunch breaks, and either 1) run sprints on the treadmill or 2) lift weights. I quit because our workplace gym was getting way too crowded (the company has grown a lot) and it was nearly impossible to get on a machine, even if I went at a less-busy lunch time (like 2pm); it was also dangerous trying to use the floor where the weights are because there were so many people trying to lift weights but also do workout videos. Complaints about this were made to the facilities management but didn't do much. I'm not looking for suggestions on how to deal with that.

I've tried going after work but it's too easy for me to want to quit or skip it; same goes for in the morning. Working out at the gym where I have a membership, on lunch, isn't possible because I only have an hour and by the time I get to the gym (10 minutes including the walking out to the parking lot to get to my car, then drive there), I need at least another 10 minutes to change, not to mention I need those combined twenty minutes again so I can change and drive back to work. So that's 40 minutes of my 60 minute lunch. I'm also not a big fan of outdoor runs, or cycling on my lunch break- I've tried both of these as well, and find myself too overcome with anxiety/worry that I won't make it back to the locker room in time to change and get back from lunch. (My employer is strict about taking an exactly one-hour lunch)

What always worked best for me - working out on my lunch, because it was easy (back then) to fit in, and then when I got home I felt relief and accomplishment that I'd already 'ate the frog' and could enjoy the rest of my evening. But I don't know how to get myself to do this again, given that circumstances have changed at my workplace's small basement gym.

How do I recreate the circumstances that made it easy for me to get into the habit of daily exercise, before? Or, if not the same circumstances, ones that are nearly the same in terms of creating structure, a time limit, and insurance against 'skipping out' on it? (I don't have money for a personal trainer, or to join a cross fit or other club- the gym I pay for now is a relatively inexpensive 24-hour one, and I like it because it has locations near my house and my workplace. But I am still open to suggestions.) Because of my ADHD, it's really hard for me to 'create structure' on my own (for example, saying I'll get up at 5am to work out before I shower and get ready for work); whereas I do respond well to using 'hard' structure I can't change (the one hour work lunch break). Also, I think it's important to point out that once I get into the habit of regular exercise for about six months, the 'hard structure' won't be as necessary- I know this from several years past experience from before I fell off the wagon. I used to be really good about wanting and desiring and actually going for a bike ride immediately after work; or doing yoga in the morning and then again after work, for example.

Thanks in advance for your help. I really want to be a strong, fit woman who feels like she can 'kick butt' again. If it matters, I am only 31, but I realize my body is probably not as adaptable as it was when I was 20-25.
posted by nightrecordings to Health & Fitness (16 answers total) 26 users marked this as a favorite
 
Any chance you can bike to or from work, even part of the way? That's the only thing I can make myself stick to, but it works really well for creating a necessary routine for the day.
posted by asperity at 12:54 PM on October 24, 2017


Best answer: Hey! I've found fitness advice to be relatively lackluster when it comes to building habits and self-motivation.

Fact is, you want routine. You need to build it into your routine, as seamlessly as possible. So that every day, before you do X, you work out. And try to remove as many exceptions as possible (unless it's raining, unless I work late, etc).

You know what you like to do, you know why things fall through. If you need help, I highly recommend thinking about your existing routines, and seeing how to build your exercise into it.

Second, I've found it's a lot easier to say "no excuses" if you are working toward a goal with a deadline. It doesn't have to be something crazy (win a marathon) but it does have to have a deadline, so you can work backwards and stay on track.

You are coming up on your 1 billionth second! For my 10,000th day, I am hoping to run 10,000 meters, so maybe for your billionth second, you could run 1,000,000,000 millimeters! Wait, that's 621 miles.

Well, you get a point. "Run a 5k on my 32nd birthday" would be a great goal!
posted by bbqturtle at 12:56 PM on October 24, 2017 [6 favorites]


Best answer: When you were a runner, did you ever run any races? I always find a race coming up on my calendar is the motivation I need to get out of bed in the morning for my daily run... and if you've struggled with depression, I also think the joy of completing a race could be a huge help. Maybe just sign up for a 5K in a month or two? Once you've paid the entry fee, you won't want to embarrass yourself by not training for it at all.
posted by barnoley at 1:01 PM on October 24, 2017 [3 favorites]


Response by poster: One added bit of info and then no more thread-sitting: I live 22 miles from work and part of that requires taking interstate 95; if I take a back way it is more like 25 miles. So as much as I wish this was doable, it isn’t a possibility for me at this time!
posted by nightrecordings at 1:11 PM on October 24, 2017


Best answer: How busy is your drive to work? Can you use lighter traffic on an earlier commute as an incentive?

My city has stupid traffic that I don't normally have to deal with, but a while back I had a client on the outskirts and I ended up driving frequently. What worked for me was getting up early and heading to the branch of my gym near the client site. The early drive allowed me to save about 30 minutes on its own and combined with the earlier start, I had sufficient time to either do weights or run in the large park nearby.
posted by TORunner at 1:28 PM on October 24, 2017 [2 favorites]


What about just trying to get to the gym before work everyday for one week? You can figure out what makes the structure work best for you (timing, shower, commute, etc). If that works for one week then you can try to not break the chain.
posted by raccoon409 at 1:28 PM on October 24, 2017


My advice is going to seem really shallow, but it's definitely helped me on the days I'd rather lay in bed eating a whole thing of Oreos and watch Netflix instead of getting on my bike:
Get some workout clothes that you love and feel great in. Seriously. I spent a long time looking for a jersey that I really really loved. Now that putting on my workout clothes is an enjoyable thing that I look forward to, I've increased my chances of getting out the door.
So I'd suggest identifying any motivators, any at all, that can help get you started. Once you get started and moving, you've basically already succeeded since doing something is always better than nothing!

Another tip is to use a website/app to log your exercise. I use Strava to track my rides, and while I don't really love the social aspect of it, the satisfaction I get from uploading a new ride and being able to look back on past rides (love using descriptive activity names!) feeds into a positive-feedback-loop.

Also, be kind to yourself! Something is always better than nothing, even on days you feel like crap and you're not kicking ass like you know you're capable of. Take the time to remember why you love biking/running/yoga in the first place. Really focus on the peace/strength/power and all the great feels you feel in the moment/afterwards, and don't forget to feel hellaproud of yourself when you're done!
posted by blueberrypuffin at 1:34 PM on October 24, 2017 [6 favorites]


I'm an avid cyclist. I ride because I love riding, and the feeling of getting stronger and faster, not because it's exercise. In that sense, I'm getting the exercise "for free" while doing a fundamentally social and fun activity.

Any chance you could hook up with riding groups in your city?
posted by uberchet at 1:55 PM on October 24, 2017


What about something social after work? The studio I go to has a bunch of committed attendees who go every day, and after awhile I started to feel like I was missing out by only going twice a week.
posted by xo at 2:15 PM on October 24, 2017


Get a buddy. I read a recent article about a study that people with workout buddies went to the gym more often and lost more weight. I know from my own experience, when a friend was picking me up at 7pm or I knew I had to pick them up at 7pm, I wouldn't try to get out of it -- there was no option for skipping because it would've been rude and awkward to flake. But if I told myself I was going to the gym alone at 7pm, I'd decide I don't feel like it and tell myself I'll make up for it by doing laundry instead. My workout buddy was just a work acquaintance who also wanted to get in shape -- they wanted to be forced to go to the gym and so did I.
posted by AppleTurnover at 2:25 PM on October 24, 2017 [1 favorite]


Best answer: Some of the answers above work well for people who are motivated to "just do it". As a person with depression myself, albeit with meds and therapy, I am not one of those who can "just go to the gym" or get an exercise buddy, because how do you get to that point without knowing HOW to get there? People are assuming you can get out of bed easily in the morning. This kind of advice does not work for people with serious depression at all.

The following are real, practical things that get me out of bed in the morning that actually get me to exercise with little to no will power. They may sound strange or silly, but hey, whatever works, works. I am not joking, and take this very seriously, even though my tone may be a little humorous, because laughing at myself is one of the ways I cope.

1. Set my coffee maker up the night before with the creamer and sugar already in my mug. Program the brew to start when my alarm goes off. The key is that the coffee maker is ON THE HEADBOARD of my bed. With half closed eyes, I pour the coffee and drink it in bed to chemically wake me up. I find myself more motivated to wake up if there is cinnamon or sugar free vanilla flavor added because I like sweets. No will power involved.

2. When the coffee kicks in (you can put on a timer for 15-20 mins), thrash about in bed for a minute or so. This gets your muscles moving and heart pumping and further wakes you. I started with trying to do video morning stretches in bed, but quickly dumped that idea because I was too depressed to look it up on the internet so early in the morning. Screw that. That's for people who aren't depressed. Thrashing by rolling around and kicking your arms and legs takes little to no will power and pretty much accomplishes the same thing.

3. Now your body has been forced to wake up without much effort from you while you are still in bed, get up. Wear comfortable workout clothes to bed the night before. Then you don't have to have any will power to dress early in the morning. Just put on your shoes. Weird? Yes, but it works. If you have a tight exercise bra in which you don't want to sleep, put it next to your exercise shoes.

4. The outside world can be scary and driving to a gym takes too much time, and I don't like working out in public where I'm forced to see perfect bodies and end up feeling bad about myself and no one depressed wants that. I have a treadmill. You can get great used ones on Craigslist, at garage sales, or used gym equipment stores. Just remember to try it before you buy it.

5. Couple something difficult with something fun. Trick your mind into making rewarding serotonin and dopamine by picking your favorite tv show or a movie you've always wanted to watch, and only watch that show while exercising on the treadmill. No other time. I learned this from some research paper that I have no reference for. I lost 20 lbs watching "Six Feet Under". I couldn't wait to see what happened in the show and it compelled me with little or no will power to get on the treadmill and watch. A tiny shelf can be built right in front of your treadmill and watch with captions on if you can't hear it. Sometimes I accidentally ran over the time I intended to because I had to see the end of the show. *Note: you can sob uncontrollably while jogging (if you've seen the series finale you'll know what I mean). YAY! You just tricked yourself into exercising. Ha ha, depression, the jokes on you!

6. Evening movement. Again, couple something fun with exercise. I love relaxing with Netflix like a couch potato when I get home from work. So? No problem. Get a cheap/used foot elliptical and put it under your favorite comfy chair or couch. Watch whatever you want for as long as you want while doing low impact pedaling. I forget I'm doing it even sometimes. My rule is I can be a couch potato as much as I want as long as I'm slowly pedaling. Look Ma, no will power!

These are unconventional and very specific things that work for me, because the will power is almost completely eliminated. Anyone who says, "Just do this, just do that" has no freaking idea what depression is like. Remember, the best exercise is the exercise you will actually do, said someone smart somewhere. :)

Hope this helps, and good luck!
posted by Arachnophile at 4:04 PM on October 24, 2017 [38 favorites]


I also have ADHD, depression and anxiety. The only thing that's helped me stick with an exercise routine - so far - has been to find a trainer I liked who charged a reasonable rate and was conveniently located.
posted by bunderful at 4:43 PM on October 24, 2017 [1 favorite]


Best answer: I've found it's much easier to build a morning routine. I know ahead of time if there's any exceptions (kids' appointment, etc), so if there isn't I set my alarm early. Once I wake up, I'm already up so I'm running; weather doesn't matter, still tired doesn't matter, all that matters is that I'm up.

One thing I've found is that when building the habbit of waking up early in the morning (I used to be a guy who would sleep through any number of alarms), is I had to prepare myself while falling asleep by repeating that I'd wake up with my alarm. Then when my alarm was/is going off, I physically set up in bed and put my feet down on the ground before turning off the alarm. Finally (and I still feel silly saying this), I smile and thank myself for waking up with alarm.

Re-read any number of ask-me's about becoming a morning person / making yourself wake up.

Now you're up, so now you exercise; it's why you're up right now. Whether it's a strength/yoga/mobility routine at home, or running/biking at home, or leaving early so you can hit the gym before work. After a few days, most people find they can do a workout from a fasted state without issue, so long as it's under 60-90 minutes.

If fasted exercise doesn't work for you, you can still have a coffee/quick breakfast routine - having as much pre-prepped the night before as others say. For me, it honestly takes me ~35 minutes to get dressed, limbered and emptied after my alarm goes off before I get out the door to run, but it's a known routine that only has one end-point; I run.

If you try to make a routine after work , it's too easy to have small things build up. I left work 15 minutes late, so the gym will be too busy. That late lunch is still sitting heavy in my stomach. My early lunch has left me too hungry. After that stressful day, I just want to get home and read mefi. You've lost a lot of your willpower throughout the day.

Instead if it's a morning routine, you're fresh from having woken up so it's easy to drive that purpose forward to get started. Especially if you're taking a "no excuses" point of view. You're not making a choice to exercise; you woke up early, thus you're exercising... it's a fact, not a choice.

And then you're an awesome physically and mentally strong woman waking up at stupid o'clock and getting shit done - that'll help hammer in the mental part.
posted by nobeagle at 7:13 AM on October 25, 2017 [4 favorites]


Best answer: You and I have much in common!

Ultimately, I have found it much easier to set myself a hard-habit with morning exercise, like a lot of other people have said. Evening exercise used to work for me when I was 25 - it doesn't work now. Go figure.

Also, give yourself credit: your previous lunch-hour workout was 'hard structure' but you still had to take the first step - getting down there - that you need to take now, just earlier in the morning. So THAT'S what you need to rebuild - the motivation that used to make you leave your desk and walk to the basement gym. Except now you're leaving your bed instead.

My key to a building a sustainable morning habit is actually based on excuses. At least, it's based on "excuses are data". So, embrace your excuses. Identify and remove your excuses, one by one.

So the first morning, when your alarm goes off and you don't get up: that's OK. That's a data point. Work out WHY you didn't get up, and remove the impediment next time. Every excuse is valid, but only once.

For example: I didn't get up because I'm worried about waking my partner up while I put my workout gear on. Ok. Lie in then. But tonight I'll lay my workout gear in the living room last thing at night, and I get dressed in there in the morning.

I didn't get up because I was tired? Ok. Tonight you need to go to bed an hour earlier. Or I need to schedule exercise for mornings when I don't have events the night before; or I need to limit the social stuff I agree to on a schoolnight.

I didn't get up because I didn't really know what the point was? Ok. Tonight I write a list of the weight routine I'll do tomorrow; or subscribe to a 5k podcast.

Get the idea? There is self-care in both accepting your refusal, and in patiently removing each one until you've formed great habits just by default.
posted by citands at 9:51 AM on October 25, 2017 [6 favorites]


Best answer: I assume you’ve already exhausted trying to find non-gym places to exercise at work, but just in case, here are some things that have worked in various offices of mine:

Grabbing an abandoned office or conference room to do an exercise video
Doing things that require less space (squats, push-ups, etc.) in quiet stairwells
Keeping weights at my desk to do bicep curls and tricep extensions at multiple points in the day
In a large office complex, speed-walking hallways, basements, and stairs to get some light exercise in
If you’re able to find a way (setting alarms, etc.) to leave the building without stressing about being back on time, parks and playgrounds often have equipment which can be used for strength training (pull-ups on monkey bars, etc.)

More specifically regarding motivation, it sounds like the last time you were able to make this work, it’s because you were trying to push yourself as far away from a bad situation as possible. And it worked so well that you don’t feel that compulsion anymore, so go you! To get back into it, can you think of a motivator that might work almost as well? Specific fitness goals, competitions, a view of yourself as the kind of person who exercises?
posted by metasarah at 11:02 AM on October 25, 2017 [1 favorite]


I'd burn out pretty quickly exercising 5-6 days every week consistently. Maybe dial it back to 3 -4 per week, with the occasional few days or even whole week off.

Not just mental burnout either, physical problems too. Even pro athletes in their 20s do less than six days a week.
posted by aerotive at 10:57 AM on October 26, 2017


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