How did my deranged uncle track me down?

February 22, 2017 12:13 PM

He said he used my social security number, but I had a freeze on my credit report

Due to many of my family members being seriously fundamentalist in their religious beliefs to the point where it had devastated my life, I cut away from family years ago. But part of their abusive tendencies means they feel they have the right to pursue those who want nothing to do with them and even stalk them until they 'see the light' of the lord or whatever and gain control over that person. I'm purposely brushing over details of how controlling and erratic they can be because it's not the point of the question, but the short of it is I cannot live a normal, healthy life as long as they are in it.

Anyway, I lived for two years in a place that I never put on any documents because it was a friend's place. I had peace there, but I wanted my own place. I knew my family had my social security number, but since I had a freeze put on my credit reports through all 3 agencies I thought I could get my own place and they wouldn't be able to find out where I recently moved. But they did! Only a few weeks after I reported my new address but unless I'm forgetting something I'm pretty sure I ONLY did so to the credit Bureaus and the DMV (none of my friends knew the address yet). Yet my uncle found out where I was living and he admitted he did it by using my social security number, but refused to give me details on how he used it. He then told everyone else in the family where I was. Now I have to move again just to get some peace. But I don't see the point until I can figure out how he was able to get info on my home and job. If I don't figure that out he'll just be able to do it again when I move to another town. I haven't even started getting mail at the new place yet!

I'm taking steps with a lawyer to put a stop to this, but I feel I'll be more able to defend my privacy if I know how the hell my family found my new place and job using my number when I had a freeze on my credit reports.

posted by lazywanderer to Law & Government (5 answers total)

Can you use a PostNet or some place to get an address and use that is your official mailing address and never, ever use that actual address of where you move to for anything? There are ones where you get an address that isn't obviously a post office box so it is indistinguishable from an apartment-like address.
posted by CoffeeHikeNapWine at 12:22 PM on February 22, 2017 [4 favorites]

Get a PO box or private mailbox (at a place like the UPS store). You'll still be exposed to them staking out your mail-receiving location, admittedly, but that will at least make it more work for them. And they won't know where you live unless they tail you home.
posted by adamrice at 12:24 PM on February 22, 2017 [1 favorite]

You can get a new social security number if it is being used to harass you.

https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0248-do-you-need-new-social-security-number
posted by momus_window at 12:33 PM on February 22, 2017 [9 favorites]

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. This doesn't directly answer your questions about how it happened, but a possible way of preventing a recurrence:
https://faq.ssa.gov/link/portal/34011/34019/Article/3789/Can-I-change-my-Social-Security-number

Bullet point 4 seems to be right up your alley. Perhaps you can apply for a new SSN and thereby shut down this avenue of pursuit.

Good luck!
posted by Lafe at 12:33 PM on February 22, 2017 [1 favorite]

Did you check that crazy site everyone was posting about a couple months ago? I opted out after seeing it listed every address I'd ever had (back to college) as well as friends' and associates' addresses with my profile. I don't know where they pull their info from, but it is very comprehensive and linked to other people, so might be worth a look to see if you're on there and should be removed.
posted by LKWorking at 12:55 PM on February 22, 2017 [1 favorite]