Disclosing past hpv infection

February 20, 2017 3:47 PM

Do you expect a sex partner to disclose a many years' past hpv infection to you?

I'm talking at least 2-3 years with normal pap smears, negative HPV tests, and without symptoms... I ask because I've gone 2 years free, and am wondering about personal protocol moving into the future?

I've recently seen this new research from the National Cancer Institute that shows that nearly half of American men have an hpv infection at any given time, not including past and cleared infections. I've also read experts' estimates that if you've had 2-3 or more sex partners, there is about a 100% chances you'll have hpv at some point in your life. But I've also read people say that this is a condition you have to disclose for the rest of your life?

Also would be interested to hear a bit about responders' demographics if willing? Age, gender, culture, religion, sex habits, relationship goals, etc. I just always wondering who is writing the stuff you read on the internet and whether they align with your own life in the slightest...

posted by backtonature007 to Health & Fitness (13 answers total)

I am 37 and I assume everyone has HPV. It's what, 80% of Americans will have HPV at least once in their lifetime? I suppose that will go down as the generation of kids who have been vaccinated against it get older and are sexually active.
posted by Medieval Maven at 7:44 PM on February 20, 2017 [2 favorites]

I'm 28, F, mostly straight, currently single but open to the idea of a relationship if the right person comes along. I do not think that anyone needs to disclose an HPV infection which was responsible for causing abnormal pap smears (I would want someone to dispose whether they have an active HPV infection causing genital warts, though.).

The vast majority of sexually active people will be exposed to and pick up some form of HPV in their lifetime. My thoughts are that sexually active people would be better off assuming that everyone they sleep with could have it and take whatever precautions they feel are appropriate with everyone. eg. using condoms to reduce the amount of skin contact, getting regular pap smears if they are a person with a cervix. There's nothing apart from abstinence which will protect you completely, but people also need to remember that in many cases an HPV infection is not a big deal.

If you start pressuring people to disclose that they have it, I feel like we'll end up in a situation where a few people who are trying to be diligent will disclose that they have it, and will end up stigmatised by people who are uneducated on it.
posted by kinddieserzeit at 8:49 PM on February 20, 2017 [1 favorite]

disclose* not dispose.
posted by kinddieserzeit at 10:41 PM on February 20, 2017

I am 36, F and a doctor (may be biased somehow?) but I would like it if any partner of mine would disclose any potential STI that I could get from them. Kind of like the same way I'd expect a polite person to tell me "don't kiss me right now unless you want this cold virus I have."

As regards the idea that you only have to tell about HPV that gave you genital warts, I'd have to completely disagree with that. HPV that gave you abnormal Pap smears is HPV that could give you cancer is HPV that could kill you. That's HPV that in my opinion, you ought to know about. Yes, you should go get Pap smears regularly and assume you might have been exposed, but not everyone does, as is clearly evidenced by the sad fact that cervical cancer is preventable and over 11,000 women are still dying from it every year in the USA alone.

I say, if your partner is uneducated on HPV, just educate them, rather than assume that they won't be smart enough to understand the facts.
posted by treehorn+bunny at 1:49 AM on February 21, 2017 [4 favorites]

I personally would not expect disclosure, and wouldn't make a point of disclosing myself, because most people with HPV don't even know it. In a relationship, it would surely come up at some point because everything about our histories comes up eventually, but with someone new or with a casual partner... nope. To me it seems alarmist to the point of sex-shaming.

I'm a white 41-year-old atheist woman with several new sex partners every year, who gets STI testing regularly and has never tested positive for anything.
posted by metasarah at 5:12 AM on February 21, 2017 [1 favorite]

From an anonymous member:

27, M, soft agnostic, born in the U.S. to Chinese parents. I've had one sex partner ever, and asked her to get tested before we started having (protected) sex. (I also got tested myself, despite being a virgin at that point, just because I didn't want to ask her to trust me on that one.)

I would absolutely want to know. There is a huge difference in my mind between not disclosing an undiagnosed, asymptomatic infection and deliberately withholding a known infection. Especially because I'm pretty sure I'm not infected right now, and I'd like to keep it that way.

It's worth noting that not everyone has had 2-3 sex partners, not even all the men who claim they've had 2-3 sex partners.

posted by taz at 6:18 AM on February 21, 2017

To clarify this: the HPV that causes genital warts is a different strain from the HPV that causes cancer (and the associated cell dysplasia on a Pap smear). (This is oversimplifying, of course; there's a bunch of strains of HPV.)

Honestly, I would want to know either, even if you'd cleared the infection. I did have a moment of pause when one partner told me they'd been exposed to it, but as it's been brought up above, most people have been exposed and some don't even know. I do feel like it's something a sex partner deserves to know, so that they can be more diligent about Pap smears if necessary.

I dearly hope that one day we don't have to even think about this because everyone's gotten the vaccine.
posted by fiercecupcake at 6:45 AM on February 21, 2017

If I ask someone about whether they have any STIs I would expect this information to be included. 30, F, only interested in long term monogamous relationships, white American rural/suburban background.
posted by CarolynG at 7:17 AM on February 21, 2017

Mod note: One comment deleted. backtonature007, AskMe's not a place for back-and-forth discussion or for OP to make points, so it's better not to post a big list of references.
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 8:02 AM on February 21, 2017

I have sex with dudes, who can't get routine HPV tests, so no, I don't expect them to know their status. I generally tell partners that I had abnormal Paps in the past, but regard it as more of a "we are getting to know each other" than "mandatory health alert" And also a way to find out how much they know about sexual health (if they are ignorant, the chances are larger that they have risky behaviors they're not thinking to tell me about or just generally don't take great care of their health).

I'm 35, white, atheist, live in a liberal city, no relationship goals.
posted by momus_window at 11:37 AM on February 21, 2017

Unless I am misreading what you wrote, you are asking whether or not to disclose a past infection that has cleared up, but may, in the way that viral infections can, reappear. There is no hard-and-fast rule here.

Here is what the CDC, which I take to be the authority on matters such as these, has to say about HPV specifically:

"The value of disclosing a past diagnosis of genital HPV infection to future partners is unclear, although candid discussions about past STD should be encouraged and attempted whenever possible."

Having said this, I think an equally effective way to answer this question is to put yourself in the other person's place and ask what you would want from your partner, then do it. If it scares off any potential partners, it's probably for the best. I'd urge you to visit the CDC website together, should you chose to disclose.
posted by Mr. Fig at 1:15 PM on February 21, 2017 [1 favorite]

I'm a poly person. Most of my partners are male. If they are recently out of a relationship with a woman or currently in one I ask about the HPV status of their partners. I always use condoms for PIV sex but not for blow jobs. As I understand it, we don't know anything yet about HPV transmission from males to females giving head. Knowing nothing or very little makes me nervous; I would prefer to avoid giving head to someone whose partner has an active infection. If the infection has been cleared, however, I don't care. I am a sample of one. I had genital warts when I was in college. That was years ago, I am no longer infected, so I don't disclose that to potential partners.
posted by Bella Donna at 6:33 PM on February 21, 2017 [1 favorite]

I am an agnostic bisexual woman who had stage 1 cervical cancer, and if I were seeking new sex partners (which I am not) I would not need them to confess their years-past, long-since-cleared, uneventful HPV infections to me.

I disclose mine because it actually gave me cancer.
posted by desuetude at 8:37 PM on February 21, 2017 [1 favorite]