Is the idea of having a happy Marriage really possible?

August 10, 2016 4:56 PM

Forgive me ahead of time, for I feel what I may say here may sound a bit antiquated or old-fashioned fighting against reality. I'm starting to feel, from a LOT of time in recovery and time or experience w/ men is that marriage really does NOT work for the majority of men? Am I really off in saying this?

I'm 38, single, never married, Christian but definitely have progressive/evolutionary roots... have had a couple of serious relationships, blew a couple of good guys away early on, got into a lot of bad relationships, got help/recovery and now am fine being single. But I still seem to be attracting a LOT of bad men in my life -- particularly the married, the addicts, the control-freaks and sex addicts (realize is on another thread). All the "good men"... either they're married, we don't have enough in common, I'm not attracted to... or simply, I haven't met or attracted them into my life yet. Or they aren't physically attracted to me. I don't know what to say anymore?

I'm starting to feel, from a LOT of time in recovery, self-help and experience w/ men that... marriage is pretty much for women taboo is true. Am I really off in saying this? I hate to stereotype men, but it seems if they find a woman that either challenges or adores them they have a likelihood of straying (unless the wife is awesome, he's pretty religious or value-centric, have kids, etc). I often see happy married male friends struggle with fidelity... even though I know there must be some happy marriages out there...

I want to be married... it's a stupid deep-rooted thing I had as a kid from a bad family... but NOT if it's going to wind up in divorce? I want a spiritual union, yet not some deep Bible-thumping loving guy either. Am I asking for too much? Thank you.

posted by sam3cat to Human Relations