Final term, college senior. What do you wish you had been told?
January 7, 2016 12:34 PM Subscribe
About 4 years ago, I asked what not-entirely-obvious advice you wish you had been given when starting college. My daughter appreciated your responses so much that she's asked me to ask the same question, but this time she's in her final term of college.
She's graduating from NYU in a few months. Her academics were focused on music and theater management. While she is a performer she doesn't want this to become her career. She wants to stay in NYC (I'm in Boston) and live with her boyfriend. In college, she created and maintained a decent professional network in theater.
Four years ago, you gave her some amazing advice about making the most of freshman year.
As a soon-to-graduate senior, what advice do you wish someone had told you? What wheels do you wish you had set in motion? What should she be doing that it has never occurred to her to do? Assume she is graduating with some debt.
She's graduating from NYU in a few months. Her academics were focused on music and theater management. While she is a performer she doesn't want this to become her career. She wants to stay in NYC (I'm in Boston) and live with her boyfriend. In college, she created and maintained a decent professional network in theater.
Four years ago, you gave her some amazing advice about making the most of freshman year.
As a soon-to-graduate senior, what advice do you wish someone had told you? What wheels do you wish you had set in motion? What should she be doing that it has never occurred to her to do? Assume she is graduating with some debt.
Best answer: If you haven't already, figure out RIGHT NOW that the job market is much less of a meritocracy than you've been led to believe for your entire life up to this point. Keep networking like mad, and never stop.
posted by saladin at 12:47 PM on January 7, 2016 [17 favorites]
posted by saladin at 12:47 PM on January 7, 2016 [17 favorites]
You are not your job.
Your job will very likely provide your livelihood and if you're fortunate it may also provide a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction in your life but it is not, and should not be, the central focus of your identity.
posted by Nerd of the North at 12:48 PM on January 7, 2016 [5 favorites]
Your job will very likely provide your livelihood and if you're fortunate it may also provide a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction in your life but it is not, and should not be, the central focus of your identity.
posted by Nerd of the North at 12:48 PM on January 7, 2016 [5 favorites]
Best answer: Pay off loans aggressively and as soon as possible. Start tracking your spending with something like Mint. Open an IRA and set an automatic deposit every month and forget about it.
posted by deathpanels at 12:50 PM on January 7, 2016 [13 favorites]
posted by deathpanels at 12:50 PM on January 7, 2016 [13 favorites]
Start building a good credit history early.
Open up a Roth IRA stat (even if you only put $50 in it). The age of the account matters for when you access those funds for things like buying a house.
posted by the_blizz at 12:50 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Open up a Roth IRA stat (even if you only put $50 in it). The age of the account matters for when you access those funds for things like buying a house.
posted by the_blizz at 12:50 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Secure academic references now. Make the contacts and have a few profs write something up, so they have it in their files. She might need this several years later if she decides to apply for a grad program, a grant/scholarship, or an academic position -- they won't remember you many years down the road so it helps to have an already-written reference in the file.
If any interest will be capitalized at the end of the grace period, pay as much of that as possible before the grace period ends.
If she has health insurance that is contingent on her enrollment, get all appointments and checkups before the term ends (dentist cleaning, annual obgyn appt, etc).
Check what resources are available for free via NYU's library (e.g., certain journals, or, in her case, maybe sheet music or scripts). Print them or save pdfs to a personal computer now. You forget how much expensive stuff you have access to as a student until you graduate and have your database access cut off. Take advantage of student discounts on software like Office and Adobe products (NYU bookstore has some pretty decent discounts on this stuff, but you need to be an enrolled student to take advantage of it).
Consider getting a new NYU ID with a recent photo a few months before graduation. Student discounts are great in NYC (Lee's Art Shop, JCrew, etc.), and you can milk those discounts for longer if your pic isn't of an 18 year old.
posted by melissasaurus at 12:53 PM on January 7, 2016 [24 favorites]
If any interest will be capitalized at the end of the grace period, pay as much of that as possible before the grace period ends.
If she has health insurance that is contingent on her enrollment, get all appointments and checkups before the term ends (dentist cleaning, annual obgyn appt, etc).
Check what resources are available for free via NYU's library (e.g., certain journals, or, in her case, maybe sheet music or scripts). Print them or save pdfs to a personal computer now. You forget how much expensive stuff you have access to as a student until you graduate and have your database access cut off. Take advantage of student discounts on software like Office and Adobe products (NYU bookstore has some pretty decent discounts on this stuff, but you need to be an enrolled student to take advantage of it).
Consider getting a new NYU ID with a recent photo a few months before graduation. Student discounts are great in NYC (Lee's Art Shop, JCrew, etc.), and you can milk those discounts for longer if your pic isn't of an 18 year old.
posted by melissasaurus at 12:53 PM on January 7, 2016 [24 favorites]
Best answer: Any extracurricular that looks interesting but you're a little embarrassed by, TRY IT.
You don't realize while it's going on around you, but if you ever thought it might be sort of neat to learn to ride a unicycle, or go on a midnight scavenger hunt, or try printmaking, or play Quidditch, this is probably the last time in your life when you are surrounded by the opportunity, the stakes are zero, and it's usually free. And it's okay to suck at it, because a lot of people there will be learning, too.
Seconding locking down student discounts on software.
posted by Mchelly at 12:54 PM on January 7, 2016 [8 favorites]
You don't realize while it's going on around you, but if you ever thought it might be sort of neat to learn to ride a unicycle, or go on a midnight scavenger hunt, or try printmaking, or play Quidditch, this is probably the last time in your life when you are surrounded by the opportunity, the stakes are zero, and it's usually free. And it's okay to suck at it, because a lot of people there will be learning, too.
Seconding locking down student discounts on software.
posted by Mchelly at 12:54 PM on January 7, 2016 [8 favorites]
- Start positioning yourself as an expert in a few specific things, preferably slightly different than what other people might know but not necessarily esoteric. It makes you an obvious hire for some gigs, a better interview for even non-relevant stuff, and is good for conversation and networking in general,
- Be cautious about things that have a cost every month. Those lifestyle things can really add up, and if you don't actually use them, it's not worth it.
- For me, the period between 22 and 25 was really difficult, emotionally. Cut yourself some slack and be sure to get some rest. But it's also a really good time to take some interesting risks.
posted by vunder at 12:59 PM on January 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
- Be cautious about things that have a cost every month. Those lifestyle things can really add up, and if you don't actually use them, it's not worth it.
- For me, the period between 22 and 25 was really difficult, emotionally. Cut yourself some slack and be sure to get some rest. But it's also a really good time to take some interesting risks.
posted by vunder at 12:59 PM on January 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
Your education does not end with your degree. Professional success does not mean success in life, or vice versa. NYC is a big place. Your skill and experience can work for you in ways you never heard of. There will always be someone with better credentials than you, but that doesn't mean they are better than you, or that they will get the gig.
posted by SemiSalt at 1:00 PM on January 7, 2016
posted by SemiSalt at 1:00 PM on January 7, 2016
Make sure she gets and keeps current her theatre contacts' info if that's something she wants to do. I did tech theatre in undergrad, and while I didn't go on professionally, most of my friends who were serious about it did (SF Bay Area). Many even did well* and it's all down to your professional network. While I'm sure NYC's theatre scene is much larger than the Bay Area's, backstage work is still a pretty small world and a word can make you or break you.
Also: I found the skills I learned in tech theatre have proved much more marketable than my English ed degree because it's all basically project management + people skills^10 with some specialized skills/knowledge thrown in. She might want to consider taking a formal project management course in her final semester if it's offered and she hasn't already done so. Everyone needs a good project manager who can both talk nice and crack a whip!
*For some definition of well - They were eventually able to do it full time, got gigs at major houses, Equity/union cards, etc. but now some 10+ years later, most have changed careers
posted by smirkette at 1:05 PM on January 7, 2016
Also: I found the skills I learned in tech theatre have proved much more marketable than my English ed degree because it's all basically project management + people skills^10 with some specialized skills/knowledge thrown in. She might want to consider taking a formal project management course in her final semester if it's offered and she hasn't already done so. Everyone needs a good project manager who can both talk nice and crack a whip!
*For some definition of well - They were eventually able to do it full time, got gigs at major houses, Equity/union cards, etc. but now some 10+ years later, most have changed careers
posted by smirkette at 1:05 PM on January 7, 2016
If you aren't 100% happy in your relationship, leave. You have a lot of time when you're young, but not a lot of time to be unhappy.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 1:06 PM on January 7, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 1:06 PM on January 7, 2016 [4 favorites]
Best answer: 1. Now when you have the energy, work hard at a few jobs and pay for what you need with cash. Don't get credit. If you have debt, pay it off quickly. In the immortal words of Admiral Ackbar, "It's a TRAP!"
2. Save enough money that if something shitty happens your whole world won't fall apart. You can move, or get a hotel room, or rent a car, or...whatever, you have a contingency find.
3. When you get the opportunity, travel. If you have to backpack and sleep in train stations, do it. Travel is the BEST!
4. Chances are your first jobs will be beneath you. Do them like they are your calling. Barrista part-time? You're the best coffee maker and order taker on the planet! Working in a call center? You actually CARE about the people calling in. Admin Assistant that requires exactly 4 brain cells? Revamp the filing system, keep track of office supply usage and expenses, make more of the job than what is required. You'll never regret doing a fantastic job.
5. Don't take things too much to heart. I used to expect to be recognized for my hard work, and I'd get butt-hurt if I wasn't, now I do it for me. Sometimes you just make it look so easy that people don't know what all went into it.
6. Keep your friends and make new ones. It's easier when you're younger. Most of my friends have been in my life more than 30 years. I treasure them.
7. Try new things. Learn Hockey, or cooking or a new language. Commit to being a life long learner.
8. Read. Keep reading. Read some more.
9. In your relationship think of yourself as living in a sitcom. When your boyfriend does something silly, you can get upset about it, or you can shrug your shoulders and say, "Oh well, that's my Ziggy!" I recommend rolling with as much as you can. Just because people do things differently, it doesn't make it wrong. It's better for everyone to be as chill as possible about as much as possible. There will be things that really are worthy of a discussion or even a fight, but they're few and far between. Husbunny and I don't fight at all. But we're weirdos.
10. Don't judge your achievements based on what other people are doing. So someone you know got her own TV show, it doesn't mean anything about you or your talents. If people you know are blowing their paychecks on raves and Molly, it doesn't mean anything to you. You spend your money getting out of debt and building a savings cushion. Keep your eyes on YOUR own paper and you'll be fine.
11. Do screwy shit every now and again. If you have a chance to go to Mexico as a nanny for your bosses kids, why not? Do you like kids? Not so much. But every now and again you get some fun chances in life and being open to them lets you experience stuff you might not otherwise get to do.
This is one of the best times of life! You're out there, making it happen and you're young and energetic enough to cram a lot of living into a 24 hour period. Enjoy it!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 1:10 PM on January 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
2. Save enough money that if something shitty happens your whole world won't fall apart. You can move, or get a hotel room, or rent a car, or...whatever, you have a contingency find.
3. When you get the opportunity, travel. If you have to backpack and sleep in train stations, do it. Travel is the BEST!
4. Chances are your first jobs will be beneath you. Do them like they are your calling. Barrista part-time? You're the best coffee maker and order taker on the planet! Working in a call center? You actually CARE about the people calling in. Admin Assistant that requires exactly 4 brain cells? Revamp the filing system, keep track of office supply usage and expenses, make more of the job than what is required. You'll never regret doing a fantastic job.
5. Don't take things too much to heart. I used to expect to be recognized for my hard work, and I'd get butt-hurt if I wasn't, now I do it for me. Sometimes you just make it look so easy that people don't know what all went into it.
6. Keep your friends and make new ones. It's easier when you're younger. Most of my friends have been in my life more than 30 years. I treasure them.
7. Try new things. Learn Hockey, or cooking or a new language. Commit to being a life long learner.
8. Read. Keep reading. Read some more.
9. In your relationship think of yourself as living in a sitcom. When your boyfriend does something silly, you can get upset about it, or you can shrug your shoulders and say, "Oh well, that's my Ziggy!" I recommend rolling with as much as you can. Just because people do things differently, it doesn't make it wrong. It's better for everyone to be as chill as possible about as much as possible. There will be things that really are worthy of a discussion or even a fight, but they're few and far between. Husbunny and I don't fight at all. But we're weirdos.
10. Don't judge your achievements based on what other people are doing. So someone you know got her own TV show, it doesn't mean anything about you or your talents. If people you know are blowing their paychecks on raves and Molly, it doesn't mean anything to you. You spend your money getting out of debt and building a savings cushion. Keep your eyes on YOUR own paper and you'll be fine.
11. Do screwy shit every now and again. If you have a chance to go to Mexico as a nanny for your bosses kids, why not? Do you like kids? Not so much. But every now and again you get some fun chances in life and being open to them lets you experience stuff you might not otherwise get to do.
This is one of the best times of life! You're out there, making it happen and you're young and energetic enough to cram a lot of living into a 24 hour period. Enjoy it!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 1:10 PM on January 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
Make the switch from saying 'credit' cards and start calling them 'debt' cards. It's amazing what a difference such a small semantic change can make.
posted by widdershins at 1:25 PM on January 7, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by widdershins at 1:25 PM on January 7, 2016 [5 favorites]
Trace out the life you want from yourself in the future, looking into how much it costs. Estimate how much that will cost in that year. Work backwards from there to figure out how to get to where you want to be.
posted by deanc at 1:31 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by deanc at 1:31 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
If travel is at all an interest, this is a good time to do it. I don't mean short term vacation, but actually moving somewhere for at least a few months. There are many programs she could choose from that could assist in this(wwoof, au pair, work exchange). Seeing how other people lived and being a part of their lives had helped me grow as a person more than any job could (and I only went to Europe).
It's much easier to do this after college than when you're in your 30s, when you've become used to a certain standard of living. Living in a tent working 6hrs a day for room and board was acceptable then for the experience, but much less acceptable after you're used to a normal income.
posted by monologish at 1:32 PM on January 7, 2016 [4 favorites]
It's much easier to do this after college than when you're in your 30s, when you've become used to a certain standard of living. Living in a tent working 6hrs a day for room and board was acceptable then for the experience, but much less acceptable after you're used to a normal income.
posted by monologish at 1:32 PM on January 7, 2016 [4 favorites]
Best answer: My biggest advice will be ignored because everyone has to come to this in their own time: don't live with the boyfriend. But if you must, do not let it make your life small and timid - have a boisterous social life together and separately, don't become afraid of going to things alone, don't let your life narrow down to a 6-block radius, don't become afraid to change because he might not like it. A great relationship consists of two (or more, if applicable) people constantly raising each other up to achieve their separate as well as joint dreams, not one person slogging along for the other's benefit. If that's not happening, get out.
Do not put yourself in a financial situation that you cannot get out, in any case.
Get an IUD.
PDF of the Emotional Labor thread. Read it for your relationship and friendships, yes, but oh god read it for work. Do not let your employers or coworkers or customers or whoever treat you like you are simultaneously a lesser person and more obligated to do the shitwork just because you are a woman.
Leave jobs if they are shitty, they can and will boot you the second they figure out a way to make more money without you. They never ever "need" you as much as you'll want to think they do.
Learn how to cook for leftovers and how to pack a lunch. And then pack your lunch. Bought lunches are one of the dumber ways to overspend.
For most women, 22 is right at the end of puberty, which means you can expect a lot of things you assume to be true about your health, metabolism, bones/joints/soft tissue, period, emotions, etc to change. Make exercise a habit - it's hard when work can make your life very sedentary very abruptly - and pay attention to how you're doing.
Talk about mental health out loud with your friends and partner on a routine basis so that nobody has to feel alone when they're struggling. Shine a bright light on that stuff, it may save someone's life.
posted by Lyn Never at 1:33 PM on January 7, 2016 [20 favorites]
Do not put yourself in a financial situation that you cannot get out, in any case.
Get an IUD.
PDF of the Emotional Labor thread. Read it for your relationship and friendships, yes, but oh god read it for work. Do not let your employers or coworkers or customers or whoever treat you like you are simultaneously a lesser person and more obligated to do the shitwork just because you are a woman.
Leave jobs if they are shitty, they can and will boot you the second they figure out a way to make more money without you. They never ever "need" you as much as you'll want to think they do.
Learn how to cook for leftovers and how to pack a lunch. And then pack your lunch. Bought lunches are one of the dumber ways to overspend.
For most women, 22 is right at the end of puberty, which means you can expect a lot of things you assume to be true about your health, metabolism, bones/joints/soft tissue, period, emotions, etc to change. Make exercise a habit - it's hard when work can make your life very sedentary very abruptly - and pay attention to how you're doing.
Talk about mental health out loud with your friends and partner on a routine basis so that nobody has to feel alone when they're struggling. Shine a bright light on that stuff, it may save someone's life.
posted by Lyn Never at 1:33 PM on January 7, 2016 [20 favorites]
Create healthy boundaries between your personal life and work life. No one will defend your personal time except you, and some bosses will never be pleased no matter how hard you try. If you have paid time off, use all of it every year and do not ve apologetic. When you are sick, you are sick, so stay home from work.
posted by floweredfish at 1:38 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by floweredfish at 1:38 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Oh, also: remember you will have to move everything you buy. I just bought a couch from a younger friend and almost every piece of her furniture was the size and weight of one of the stones at Stonehenge. I'm in my 40s and basically a lifelong renter and all but two (dumb but beloved) things I own come apart or fold up, and everything fits in a stairway. I have some regrets about the couch, even, but I am capable of moving it on a dolly by myself if I had to.
posted by Lyn Never at 1:40 PM on January 7, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by Lyn Never at 1:40 PM on January 7, 2016 [7 favorites]
Pay off your debt as fast as you can and don't get into more debt on things like credit cards. That is the most important thing. Then get an "Oh Shit!" savings account where you keep an amount of money only to be used in an emergency. Then, go out into the world and have a blast.
Also, and I hope this doesn't sound weird, if exotic dancing in order to make a bunch of money relatively quickly, seems doable, by all means do that now when you're at your most marketable for such a job. (Please know that I would give the same advice to a guy this is not female specific advice)
posted by WalkerWestridge at 1:46 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Also, and I hope this doesn't sound weird, if exotic dancing in order to make a bunch of money relatively quickly, seems doable, by all means do that now when you're at your most marketable for such a job. (Please know that I would give the same advice to a guy this is not female specific advice)
posted by WalkerWestridge at 1:46 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Point 1: The most important thing that I wish someone would have taught me about the NYC post-college hustle (I went to college in NYC also, and stayed afterwards, and saw friends go through this as well):
Up until college, throughout your life, you've spent a lot of time in the bosom of institutions that (in theory) care about your well-being: families, schools, universities. Companies and organizations don't. They care about their well-being first. Even the best of non-profits and arts organizations can be incredibly dysfunctional and exploitative.
At some point in your early twenties, there will be a job that you want to love, but is incredibly stressful. It may be working for an artist or a theater company that you respect dearly. It might be working for an organization that you believe in with all of your heart, but has you working insane hours. Or it might be a day job that pays well but puts an incredible amount of stress on you, effectively compromising your ability to do creative work.
If this job isn't helping you grow personally, and is in fact dysfunctional (three good barometers are: if you're pouring a lot of your personal self in, but not being prominently credited beyond 'assistant', or not being paid at all, or if you're inordinately stressing about it outside of work hours), then it's okay to leave it. In fact, you need to, because you don't yet have a good sense about 'how to break up with an institution'. It's like the first relationship breakup, which is always the hardest.
This won't always be the case, but it will happen. Don't worry, though! As you already know, NYC is exciting and gorgeous and one of the best places to be for someone in their 20s.
---
Point 2: as someone who teaches grad students:
2) Stay in touch with professors / mentors. Before the semester ends, or recently after it does end, ask to meet them for coffee to ask them questions about where they think the field is going, and what kind of advice to have.
At any kind of higher-level education, I think you get four things: 1) the degree/pedigree, which is meaningless AND helpful, 2) the education itself - knowing things, knowing how to work, 3) Contact with peers and mentors - friends and professors around you that you can draw on as a resource. Make sure that you're keeping in touch with them.
posted by suedehead at 1:49 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Up until college, throughout your life, you've spent a lot of time in the bosom of institutions that (in theory) care about your well-being: families, schools, universities. Companies and organizations don't. They care about their well-being first. Even the best of non-profits and arts organizations can be incredibly dysfunctional and exploitative.
At some point in your early twenties, there will be a job that you want to love, but is incredibly stressful. It may be working for an artist or a theater company that you respect dearly. It might be working for an organization that you believe in with all of your heart, but has you working insane hours. Or it might be a day job that pays well but puts an incredible amount of stress on you, effectively compromising your ability to do creative work.
If this job isn't helping you grow personally, and is in fact dysfunctional (three good barometers are: if you're pouring a lot of your personal self in, but not being prominently credited beyond 'assistant', or not being paid at all, or if you're inordinately stressing about it outside of work hours), then it's okay to leave it. In fact, you need to, because you don't yet have a good sense about 'how to break up with an institution'. It's like the first relationship breakup, which is always the hardest.
This won't always be the case, but it will happen. Don't worry, though! As you already know, NYC is exciting and gorgeous and one of the best places to be for someone in their 20s.
---
Point 2: as someone who teaches grad students:
2) Stay in touch with professors / mentors. Before the semester ends, or recently after it does end, ask to meet them for coffee to ask them questions about where they think the field is going, and what kind of advice to have.
At any kind of higher-level education, I think you get four things: 1) the degree/pedigree, which is meaningless AND helpful, 2) the education itself - knowing things, knowing how to work, 3) Contact with peers and mentors - friends and professors around you that you can draw on as a resource. Make sure that you're keeping in touch with them.
posted by suedehead at 1:49 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
I was one of those who felt like my life was on rails, at least when it came to big milestones, until school ended, and then this whole wide world opened up and I had what felt like infinitely more options than I did before. I found moving to a new city rewarding, but I certainly wasn't starting in somewhere as huge as NYC. I did feel like those first few years were important in that they let me dabble in different areas that ultimately set me on the trajectory that solidified who I was, what I did, and what I cared about. Lots of those things are formed in college but they don't really take solid form until they're tested in the real world for a couple of years.
Nthing everything above about avoiding debt. Not enough is said about the freedom that being free of consumer debt can give you. Read Mr. Money Moustache and see if it speaks to you.
And speaking of finances, eating and drinking in your own home is much cheaper and often more pleasurable than doing the same at a bar or restaurant or club. Doubly so if you're not depending on the bar scene to meet new dates. Start cultivating a group of friends for hanging out at various people's houses/apartments with food and drink.
posted by craven_morhead at 2:14 PM on January 7, 2016
Nthing everything above about avoiding debt. Not enough is said about the freedom that being free of consumer debt can give you. Read Mr. Money Moustache and see if it speaks to you.
And speaking of finances, eating and drinking in your own home is much cheaper and often more pleasurable than doing the same at a bar or restaurant or club. Doubly so if you're not depending on the bar scene to meet new dates. Start cultivating a group of friends for hanging out at various people's houses/apartments with food and drink.
posted by craven_morhead at 2:14 PM on January 7, 2016
A friend gave me a copy of Smart Women Finish Rich, a book I never would have picked up and probably wouldn't have read if she hadn't told me it was more useful than it looked. It gave me a good reality check on what personal and lifetime finances look like and how to prep for them.
Also, remember that you're able to use your university resources best while you're still in school: make sure your advisors and favorite professors know who you are before you leave. You might need references in a few years, and they're easier to get when you have a good relationship before you leave school. Get your resume reviewed (advisors, career center, etc.), do mock interviews or auditions - you don't know when you'll get those services for free (ahem, cost of tuition) in the future!
posted by beccasaurus at 2:25 PM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
Also, remember that you're able to use your university resources best while you're still in school: make sure your advisors and favorite professors know who you are before you leave. You might need references in a few years, and they're easier to get when you have a good relationship before you leave school. Get your resume reviewed (advisors, career center, etc.), do mock interviews or auditions - you don't know when you'll get those services for free (ahem, cost of tuition) in the future!
posted by beccasaurus at 2:25 PM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
Best answer: HAVE FUN. This is the last time in your life that you will be a college undergraduate, and that is a sweet time in a person's life when you have so much control over your own time with all the benefits of being a legal adult. You will never have this much time to spend with your friends again. I agree with making sure you keep in touch with professors, and don't got into crazy debt -- I am a Susie Rule-Follower who graduated with honors, and real Type A -- but don't look so far ahead to After Graduation that you don't look around and realize how lucky you are to be alive RIGHT NOW. (In, arguably, the greatest city in the world.) Enjoy your friends, who are about to be thrown to the four corners of the earth. Enjoy going out when you're still young enough to be able to stay up until the bar closes and not pay for it in the morning. College is, if you're lucky, the time when you're not quite saddled with the responsibilities of full adulthood and while that's not, and shouldn't be, an excuse to be irresponsible, TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT. Don't be so focused on What's Next that you don't really, really enjoy the last gasps of being a college student.
In short: Carpe Diem!
posted by Countess Sandwich at 2:43 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
In short: Carpe Diem!
posted by Countess Sandwich at 2:43 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Credit cards are not inherently bad. If you're going to spend money and can pay your bills in full, you might as well accrue rewards and boost your credit score in the process.
Credit card debt is another matter.
posted by delight at 2:49 PM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
Credit card debt is another matter.
posted by delight at 2:49 PM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
Like smirkette says, definitely keep on top of those professional contacts in theater. I'm coming at this as a musician, so maybe theater is different, but I've learned the hard way that 80% of making art in a professional or semi-professional capacity is being a part of a community. The other part I learned the hard way is that a lot of what's involved in really being a part of a community feels like...work. Actively engaging with someone's output even if you're really not that interested in it, being more of a shill than you're probably really comfortable with on social media, ... it can feel like a distraction from what you're actually trying to accomplish, but it's essential to have a group of people that will support you in return, and as time goes on and your relationships develop and you meet people that you really work well with it stops feeling like as much of a drag.
Also, having a day job in an unrelated thing doesn't mean you're not pursuing a career in music or theater. It's easy to psych yourself out by looking at the people who managed to make it their number one thing right out of the gate, but down the line it really doesn't mean that much. If you are able to do that right out of the gate, awesome! But there's no cause for despair if you aren't.
posted by invitapriore at 4:17 PM on January 7, 2016
Also, having a day job in an unrelated thing doesn't mean you're not pursuing a career in music or theater. It's easy to psych yourself out by looking at the people who managed to make it their number one thing right out of the gate, but down the line it really doesn't mean that much. If you are able to do that right out of the gate, awesome! But there's no cause for despair if you aren't.
posted by invitapriore at 4:17 PM on January 7, 2016
Anything that you want to do, do it now, because you won't be able to later.
Right now, just out of college, you have a boyfriend or girlfriend but not a spouse, maybe some debt but not a mortgage, maybe a pet but not a child.
The next time you'll have this much freedom you'll be a retiree looking at how best to fill the time you have left.
Don't wait until then to do the things you've always wanted to do
posted by BadgerDoctor at 6:50 PM on January 7, 2016
Right now, just out of college, you have a boyfriend or girlfriend but not a spouse, maybe some debt but not a mortgage, maybe a pet but not a child.
The next time you'll have this much freedom you'll be a retiree looking at how best to fill the time you have left.
Don't wait until then to do the things you've always wanted to do
posted by BadgerDoctor at 6:50 PM on January 7, 2016
With regards to networking and contacts- get up to date on ALL their contact information. I've been surprised with how many times I've had to look up someone's work title (or title when they were my supervisor), maybe a phone number changes or get a personal email (if appropriate) because that @business.com wont be there when they switch jobs.
Write down every little project or role you ever had into a master file that will eventually be an easy cut and paste document for when you write resumes- never stop adding to it. It's amazing what you forget and how quickly.
Talk with your friends and learn their communication styles. It's going to be ok that you can't just stop by each others' places or the library at all times anymore but don't lose friendships because you prefer texting and they prefer facebook.
posted by raccoon409 at 7:31 PM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
Write down every little project or role you ever had into a master file that will eventually be an easy cut and paste document for when you write resumes- never stop adding to it. It's amazing what you forget and how quickly.
Talk with your friends and learn their communication styles. It's going to be ok that you can't just stop by each others' places or the library at all times anymore but don't lose friendships because you prefer texting and they prefer facebook.
posted by raccoon409 at 7:31 PM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
Best answer: This is so, so boring and unglamorous, but the thing that my early thirties self is consistently glad that my early twenties self did was save A LOT, both in a retirement account and a plain old index fund. I was making less than 30K at the time, but that was still more money than I'd ever had in my life, and it is so easy to decide to live cheaply when all your friends are starving artists or grad students.
The compounding math is not intuitive to me or most people, but what talked me into it was reading some story (like this or this) illustrating that saving for just a few years in your early twenties puts more in your retirement account than saving for EVERY SINGLE YEAR from thirty on.
At the time, I didn't know what I was saving for, but fast-forward to now, and we've been able to pay off all my husband's high-interest school debt and buy a house we're pretty excited about and still feel like we're ahead of the game on our retirement.
posted by teditrix at 7:34 PM on January 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
The compounding math is not intuitive to me or most people, but what talked me into it was reading some story (like this or this) illustrating that saving for just a few years in your early twenties puts more in your retirement account than saving for EVERY SINGLE YEAR from thirty on.
At the time, I didn't know what I was saving for, but fast-forward to now, and we've been able to pay off all my husband's high-interest school debt and buy a house we're pretty excited about and still feel like we're ahead of the game on our retirement.
posted by teditrix at 7:34 PM on January 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
Start planning to travel. Travel, travel, travel. Everything else is secondary.
“If you’re twenty-two, physically fit, hungry to learn and be better, I urge you to travel – as far and as widely as possible. Sleep on floors if you have to. Find out how other people live and eat and cook. Learn from them – wherever you go.” -- Anthony Bourdain
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 8:05 PM on January 7, 2016
“If you’re twenty-two, physically fit, hungry to learn and be better, I urge you to travel – as far and as widely as possible. Sleep on floors if you have to. Find out how other people live and eat and cook. Learn from them – wherever you go.” -- Anthony Bourdain
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 8:05 PM on January 7, 2016
Another one in the choir: Travel, travel, travel. You have fewer ties than you will ever have again, and for your employers there is no difference between someone in their early 20s and mid 20s. Truly. If you want to see the world, start seeing it. Once you're in a job with a few weeks leave a year, you won't be able to do it justice. Barely anyone does. The world is a really big place, and eventually you'll realise you can't see all of it. Take six months or a year or two years, and just go.
posted by superfish at 9:06 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by superfish at 9:06 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
If there's any somewhat decent chance that she'll want to go to grad school, take those tests now, while in school. Yes, it sucks doing it as a senior in college, but it'll suck more when you're years out of school, out of practice from studying and testing, and are working a full time job so you're squeezing it in during the evenings / weekends.
posted by ellerhodes at 6:20 AM on January 8, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by ellerhodes at 6:20 AM on January 8, 2016 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Being likeable, and meeting minimum levels of competence at work is more important than being smart and ambitious.
posted by sandmanwv at 6:30 AM on January 8, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by sandmanwv at 6:30 AM on January 8, 2016 [1 favorite]
I have to add: don't think you've Wasted Your Youth and Lost Your Chance if you choose not to travel in your 20s. You're not chained to home and child by default at age 25, 30, 40, 60, etc. Do what seems best for your life right now.
posted by delight at 9:53 AM on January 8, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by delight at 9:53 AM on January 8, 2016 [1 favorite]
I wanted to second the person who advised not to move in with your boyfriend in NYC (unless you're certain you guys are in it for the long haul / marriage / however you define this guy is definitely the one). NYC apartment hunting is such a challenge, and it's so easy for couples here to feel like real estate is destiny - better to stick with what you have, than to face the horror that is the rental market. It's also so easy when you're young to define yourself by where you are at that moment, so the first apartment, and relationship, feel more meaningful and therefore harder to leave.
Having a place of your own (probably with a roommate, but a place where you have your own space away from the boyfriend, and a chance to define how you like to live without accommodating someone else 24 hours a day) is a really good way to start out. And having a roommate you like (if you get lucky or find a place with a friend) lets you widen your social life and your chance to branch out.
Not saying never move in with the guy - just that you might want to start out on your own feet, so should something go south, you know you can do it.
posted by Mchelly at 10:11 AM on January 8, 2016 [2 favorites]
Having a place of your own (probably with a roommate, but a place where you have your own space away from the boyfriend, and a chance to define how you like to live without accommodating someone else 24 hours a day) is a really good way to start out. And having a roommate you like (if you get lucky or find a place with a friend) lets you widen your social life and your chance to branch out.
Not saying never move in with the guy - just that you might want to start out on your own feet, so should something go south, you know you can do it.
posted by Mchelly at 10:11 AM on January 8, 2016 [2 favorites]
I think the most important knowledge that I could have had when I graduated is that you don't have to complete anything in your twenties. That decade can be for just working on what ever you want to. You don't need to get married by a certain age and you don't need to have a certain job by a certain age. Just use those years to grow. It's a good time to take your time to work towards something. I would be further ahead if I took the time to use those years to work towards what I wanted instead of worrying about certain things not happening.
posted by strawberrifields at 12:29 PM on January 11, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by strawberrifields at 12:29 PM on January 11, 2016 [1 favorite]
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posted by yohko at 12:43 PM on January 7, 2016 [4 favorites]