My cat the love whore
December 12, 2005 12:18 PM
My cat uses vertical clawing and pitiful yowling to get attention when we're going to bed or waking up. How to make him stop?
He's a 5 year old male kitty, neutered at 6 weeks and adopted by us soon after. Extremely affectionate to the point of being needy and clingy; he follows us around the apartment a lot, and likes proximity to us or to our other cat, an 8 year old female, at all times. Indoor only, his entire life. Has never known abuse, suffering or deprivation, and has maintained a naive, if neurotic, innocence since kittenhood.
We play with him, pet him, pick him up, carry him around, let him sit in our laps or on the desk by the computer at any time. No matter how much attention he gets, its never enough. When we get into bed at night, he paces the hallway and howls, then vertically scratches a doorjamb or chest of drawers. He'll do this if we nap in the afternoon, and sometimes early in the morning as we wake up. It's not normal claw maintenance; it's consistently an attention-getting behavior.
We tried spraying surfaces with bitter apple -- it doesn't bother him. We've tried ignoring him -- he still does it. We try calling out to him, inviting him to sleep on the bed with us -- he still does it. (Though eventually he wanders in and goes to sleep at my feet.) We tried picking him up and locking him in the bathroom for a few hours -- he came out uncowed, with the look that said, "You accidently locked me in the bathroom!" Scratching continued.
And yes, I have tried the spray bottle. He knows what he's doing is wrong. If he sees me approach, he runs. I can't get the spray bottle near him. Once, I chased him down and took him back to the scene of the crime to spray him several times. The scratching stopped for a day or two, while my cat cowered in corners and ran whenever he saw me. I felt like a monster; I don't think he got the message "scratching is bad," just the impression that I'm scary.
I'm tired of being woken up every night just as I get to sleep, and I'm tired of the damage he's doing to doors and furniture. The little plastic claw covers will protect my furniture, but not my sleep. (Thoughts on how easy those are to apply and maintain would be appreciated though.) I'm considering Feliway, to see if it will mellow him out, but haven't seen it recommended for symptoms of Woody Allen-like feline neurosis.
We've been very inconsistent with how we approach this problem, because we're big softies. I don't understand why he does this (he gets plenty of love and attention! he has another cat to play with! he can climb up on the bed when we're sleeping any time he wants!), so I can't figure out how to stop it. Whatever approach I take, I always feel it's the wrong one. Help me, collective cat gurus of Metafilter.
He's a 5 year old male kitty, neutered at 6 weeks and adopted by us soon after. Extremely affectionate to the point of being needy and clingy; he follows us around the apartment a lot, and likes proximity to us or to our other cat, an 8 year old female, at all times. Indoor only, his entire life. Has never known abuse, suffering or deprivation, and has maintained a naive, if neurotic, innocence since kittenhood.
We play with him, pet him, pick him up, carry him around, let him sit in our laps or on the desk by the computer at any time. No matter how much attention he gets, its never enough. When we get into bed at night, he paces the hallway and howls, then vertically scratches a doorjamb or chest of drawers. He'll do this if we nap in the afternoon, and sometimes early in the morning as we wake up. It's not normal claw maintenance; it's consistently an attention-getting behavior.
We tried spraying surfaces with bitter apple -- it doesn't bother him. We've tried ignoring him -- he still does it. We try calling out to him, inviting him to sleep on the bed with us -- he still does it. (Though eventually he wanders in and goes to sleep at my feet.) We tried picking him up and locking him in the bathroom for a few hours -- he came out uncowed, with the look that said, "You accidently locked me in the bathroom!" Scratching continued.
And yes, I have tried the spray bottle. He knows what he's doing is wrong. If he sees me approach, he runs. I can't get the spray bottle near him. Once, I chased him down and took him back to the scene of the crime to spray him several times. The scratching stopped for a day or two, while my cat cowered in corners and ran whenever he saw me. I felt like a monster; I don't think he got the message "scratching is bad," just the impression that I'm scary.
I'm tired of being woken up every night just as I get to sleep, and I'm tired of the damage he's doing to doors and furniture. The little plastic claw covers will protect my furniture, but not my sleep. (Thoughts on how easy those are to apply and maintain would be appreciated though.) I'm considering Feliway, to see if it will mellow him out, but haven't seen it recommended for symptoms of Woody Allen-like feline neurosis.
We've been very inconsistent with how we approach this problem, because we're big softies. I don't understand why he does this (he gets plenty of love and attention! he has another cat to play with! he can climb up on the bed when we're sleeping any time he wants!), so I can't figure out how to stop it. Whatever approach I take, I always feel it's the wrong one. Help me, collective cat gurus of Metafilter.
Have you tried getting up and putting him in bed yourself when he's scratching? At times, our kitty seems to be too proud to approach us herself, maybe that's the problem in your case too?
posted by koenie at 12:30 PM on December 12, 2005
posted by koenie at 12:30 PM on December 12, 2005
My previous advice here was marked best. It does work.
posted by fire&wings at 12:36 PM on December 12, 2005
posted by fire&wings at 12:36 PM on December 12, 2005
There might be something helpful in this thread. I'm desperate to try the vacuum cleaner trick, but alas, I do not own a vacuum cleaner.
posted by unknowncommand at 12:37 PM on December 12, 2005
posted by unknowncommand at 12:37 PM on December 12, 2005
Our tabby started howling at night several times a week since we moved in September. Sometimes softly calling down to her is enough to shush her, but I usually go downstairs, pick her up, bring her to bed, and pet her firmly until she settles down a bit and goes to sleep on the bed with us. So don't just invite him to bed -- INSIST that he come to bed, spoil him a little further with attention once he gets there, and see if that works.
That vacuum cleaner trick might work if you don't share walls with neighbours (we're in a townhouse, so it's not an option).
posted by maudlin at 12:42 PM on December 12, 2005
That vacuum cleaner trick might work if you don't share walls with neighbours (we're in a townhouse, so it's not an option).
posted by maudlin at 12:42 PM on December 12, 2005
I sympathize because my cat does the same thing. She's a 7 yr old who has that same kitten innocence going on.
She scratches my box spring and runs when I lean over to pick her up. I know she's doing it just to wake me up. If I can grab her, put her in bed with me and scratch her neck a bit, she stops. And then she falls sound asleep and I end up oversleeping from being woken up at 5:30!
posted by jdl at 1:19 PM on December 12, 2005
She scratches my box spring and runs when I lean over to pick her up. I know she's doing it just to wake me up. If I can grab her, put her in bed with me and scratch her neck a bit, she stops. And then she falls sound asleep and I end up oversleeping from being woken up at 5:30!
posted by jdl at 1:19 PM on December 12, 2005
When I first got my cat, she always slept on my bed, but it required that I more or less announced, "OK, let's go to bed" and patted my leg to indicate "c'mon." She happily trotted after me, jumped up on the bed, and went to sleep. On nights when I didn't explicitly invite her in, however, she was pretty reluctant to come in, but obviously unhappy that she wasn't up on the bed with me.
She's calmed way down, but even now when she's acting up at night, I can usually just pat the comforter hard enough for her to hear and she'll jump right up and settle down.
The only time she's ever done that in the morning was when I was feeding her first thing after getting up. I moved her breakfast time to an hour later, so that she didn't associate food and affection with my getting out of bed, and that's seemed to have stopped.
posted by occhiblu at 1:22 PM on December 12, 2005
She's calmed way down, but even now when she's acting up at night, I can usually just pat the comforter hard enough for her to hear and she'll jump right up and settle down.
The only time she's ever done that in the morning was when I was feeding her first thing after getting up. I moved her breakfast time to an hour later, so that she didn't associate food and affection with my getting out of bed, and that's seemed to have stopped.
posted by occhiblu at 1:22 PM on December 12, 2005
Re: the claw cover things -- The whole process is much better for everyone when you use a Klaw Kontrol Bag to faciliate application. We use the claw covers and the bag, and it's really, really easy, and a lot less stressful. Particularly if your cat is neurotic, and just generally because it takes a little while, I'd say never apply SoftClaws without using the bag. (The link is to Drs Foster and Smith, you can get the claws from there too, in "Easy to Spot a Missing Claw Cover" colors).
Re: the behavior in general, I don't suppose that Feliway Comfort Zone could hurt. I know this sounds really daunting, but you could try to train him out of it. You said he sleeps with you eventually anyway, so maybe start trying to set up a bed time routine? I know this sounds really crazy, but we have two bath towels over the end of our bed, and when we start getting ready for bed (washing faces etc) we generally deposit the cats on the bed, and they lay down there at least for a little while. They do get up and go eat or whatever but the thing is, they know it's bedtime, they know they're welcome on the bed, and they come back and go to sleep. Maybe my cats are weird, but this has worked for us. Hell, our female cat goes and gets on the bed when she thinks it's bedtime (generally 11:30 or so) and then bitches when we don't follow suit.
On preview, occhiblu has described something similar, so apparently it can be duplicated. Good luck.
posted by Medieval Maven at 1:29 PM on December 12, 2005
Re: the behavior in general, I don't suppose that Feliway Comfort Zone could hurt. I know this sounds really daunting, but you could try to train him out of it. You said he sleeps with you eventually anyway, so maybe start trying to set up a bed time routine? I know this sounds really crazy, but we have two bath towels over the end of our bed, and when we start getting ready for bed (washing faces etc) we generally deposit the cats on the bed, and they lay down there at least for a little while. They do get up and go eat or whatever but the thing is, they know it's bedtime, they know they're welcome on the bed, and they come back and go to sleep. Maybe my cats are weird, but this has worked for us. Hell, our female cat goes and gets on the bed when she thinks it's bedtime (generally 11:30 or so) and then bitches when we don't follow suit.
On preview, occhiblu has described something similar, so apparently it can be duplicated. Good luck.
posted by Medieval Maven at 1:29 PM on December 12, 2005
I don't know if you have the stomach to reject your child, but the advice given with kittens is to not encourage the behavior. Meaning don't give him attention just because he asks for it, if you stop responding then eventually he'll forget why he was doing it in the first place and eventually stop. You seem to give him constant attention, which since cats thrive on consistency wouldn't satisfy him, he just wants more of the same, constantly.
Good luck!
posted by scazza at 8:29 PM on December 12, 2005
Good luck!
posted by scazza at 8:29 PM on December 12, 2005
I use Feliway in my home and it's calmed down many an aggressive or insecure cat. The trick is to use both the spray (all around your home where your cat rubs and scratches) and the room diffuser.
Do provide some cat scratching posts and pads around your home too. You can get them scented with cat-nip. Place them next to the areas where your cat scratches. Give your cat praise and pettings when he/she uses the pads or posts. You could also try playing and petting the cat when it's near the pads/posts so that it learns to associate them with your attention and the security that it provides.
I agree with the advice not to respond when the cat is yowling and scratching in places it shouldn't. Any response is going to stimulate the cat to repeat the behaviour.
Scratching and sharpening claws is a very important part of cat behaviour. Many muscles are stretched and strengthened during the act.
In the UK we don't have a culture of using claw tips to deter claw sharpening, but I can see the appeal of them. I trim my cats claw's myself. It's a simple procedure and probably easier than applying tips. A good vet will show you how to safely trim your cats claws. Calmness, patience and persistence will soon get you both used to carrying out claw trimming.
Animals don't understand right and wrong, so it's likely that your cat has learned to associate scratching and yowling, not only with getting your attention and allaying insecurity, but also with punishment. Please don't punish your cat by shutting him/her away. They learn nothing from any sort of punishment. In that way they are like us.
Good luck :)
posted by Arqa at 3:18 AM on December 15, 2005
Do provide some cat scratching posts and pads around your home too. You can get them scented with cat-nip. Place them next to the areas where your cat scratches. Give your cat praise and pettings when he/she uses the pads or posts. You could also try playing and petting the cat when it's near the pads/posts so that it learns to associate them with your attention and the security that it provides.
I agree with the advice not to respond when the cat is yowling and scratching in places it shouldn't. Any response is going to stimulate the cat to repeat the behaviour.
Scratching and sharpening claws is a very important part of cat behaviour. Many muscles are stretched and strengthened during the act.
In the UK we don't have a culture of using claw tips to deter claw sharpening, but I can see the appeal of them. I trim my cats claw's myself. It's a simple procedure and probably easier than applying tips. A good vet will show you how to safely trim your cats claws. Calmness, patience and persistence will soon get you both used to carrying out claw trimming.
Animals don't understand right and wrong, so it's likely that your cat has learned to associate scratching and yowling, not only with getting your attention and allaying insecurity, but also with punishment. Please don't punish your cat by shutting him/her away. They learn nothing from any sort of punishment. In that way they are like us.
Good luck :)
posted by Arqa at 3:18 AM on December 15, 2005
....and 3.2.3, yes a little vallium does go a long way.
A long way towards killing a cat.
posted by Arqa at 3:21 AM on December 15, 2005
A long way towards killing a cat.
posted by Arqa at 3:21 AM on December 15, 2005
This thread is closed to new comments.
If a basement isn't an option, you could try a bedroom or a large bathroom; those have been our cat prisons in previous living spaces.
posted by COBRA! at 12:23 PM on December 12, 2005