Glasses and scary aren't mutually exclusive, right?

October 21, 2015 5:48 PM

Most Halloween costume ideas I've seen suggested for glasses-wearers seem to be either (a) silly/jokey one-note gags ("hipster [character]") or (b) specific, non-scary characters I have no interest in being. What am I not thinking of here?

We're having a costume day on the 30th at work. I LOVE everything about Halloween and dressing up, but I've already done the cat makeup thing and the steampunk thing to death. And I don't want to default to any of the typical glasses-wearing character options, e.g.. Velma, Harry Potter, Austin Powers, or anything resembling a "minion".

Honestly, this year, I'm really kind of hoping to pull off spooky-eerie, but I'm at a loss for ideas as to how I can do this without having to get contact lenses on short notice (and frankly I really really want a costume that either incorporates or fully obscures glasses, and wild prefer to avoid sticking things in my eyes).

Specific characters are a possibility, but I'm looking more for conceptual ideas. The vibe/aesthetic I'm going for is more unsettling than gory; perhaps a little bit Silent Hill mixed with a little bit "creepy possessed doll".

Oh and I'm nominally female but pretty androgynous in the brain and totally open to gender-bendy options. I'm pretty crafty and have lots of tools and materials, so stuff I can make is good. I also have access to a 3D printer. FWIW. Thanks!

(I did check the tags in addition to googling the heck out of this one...but please feel free to point me at previous threads on this subject if I just failed at searching!)

posted by aecorwin to Grab Bag (16 answers total)

The Re-Animator.
posted by moons in june at 5:52 PM on October 21, 2015

I love the look of creepy dolls or the bloody little girls from "the shining" but I feel like people will ask "What are you?". Add marionette and it's a thing. Creepy doll with totally fun outfit (maybe blood) and face paint for creepy eyes and mouth etc. Stings and wooden handle held up by wire from behind (there's some good examples on line).
posted by ReluctantViking at 6:08 PM on October 21, 2015

You can tape all sorts of shit to glasses (feathers, leaves, etc) to decorate them to fit in with whatever. Like a mask but not.

If you're comfortable playing a sexy librarian character, going as "sexy librarian ________" could be really really funny. Dress + cardigan + glasses + rest of costume. I'm thinking about being a tree for Halloween, for which I will wear a brown dress and a brown sweater and make myself a leafy fascinator. Literally just last night I was lamenting not having glasses because then I could go as Sexy Librarian Tree. (Is that funny? I don't know if that's funny. For some reason it's completely hilarious to me.)

Sexy Librarian Devil
Sexy Librarian Pizza Rat
Sexy Librarian Furiosa
Sexy Librarian Ninja Turtle
Sexy Librarian Captain America

Your possibilities truly are endless.
posted by phunniemee at 6:09 PM on October 21, 2015

Middle-management werewolf.

Like Bill Lumbergh. But a werewolf.
posted by Faint of Butt at 6:11 PM on October 21, 2015

"Granny" glasses could go well with a mad scientist/surgeon type. Like, a blood-spattered butcher's apron, with old-fashioned glasses, that's rather Silent Hill-ish. Or round, John Lennon-ish specs would work for something like that too.

A zombie could wear glasses, the implication being that the person died before they took took their glasses off. (It might look cool if you bought a cheap pair from Zenni Optical or whatever and then distressed them, maybe cracking or popping out one of the lenses.)

If you're looking for specific spooky characters who wear glasses, maybe TV Tropes' page on scary shiny glasses might help.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 6:11 PM on October 21, 2015

A vampire in general could work, if it's more creepy/unsettling than gory. It's not unheard of for even Dracula specifically to wear glasses (those are tinted sunglasses or something, but Ursula Hitler's suggestion above about old-fashioned or Lennon-style glasses could work just as well with a vampire of any gender).
posted by branduno at 6:25 PM on October 21, 2015

Skull makeup while wearing my specs (and Death's robe) has sent a number of small kids scurrying behind their parents.
posted by anadem at 6:52 PM on October 21, 2015

On behalf of librarians everywhere, please don't perpetuate outdated, sexist stereotypes through a sexy librarian costume.

Not scary, but Sadness from Inside Out wears glasses.

I think dark circles around your eyes will communicate deathly something even with glasses.
posted by bluedaisy at 6:57 PM on October 21, 2015

Creepy mad scientist, which means you could wear those big plastic safety goggles over your real specs. Goggles in general may spark an idea for you. Hellboy-ish something? Virtual reality gone awry?
posted by wwartorff at 7:05 PM on October 21, 2015

Thank you all for the suggestions so far! One clarification: I am not doing the sexy thing, period...not even in an ironic way. Just not my thing. :)
posted by aecorwin at 7:50 PM on October 21, 2015

How about dressing up as Major Arnold Ernst Toht, the very, very bad guy from Raiders of the Lost Ark. Remember how he intended to torture Marion with the red hot poker, then later showed up in the desert tent to interrogate her? "So . . . vat shall ve talk about?" Draw the design from the medallion on your palm, and you're good.

Or, if you don't mind funny/scary, you can dress (as I once did) as a were-nerd. Rip holes in your button-down shirt to have tufts of hair sticking out. Lots of mechanical pencils in the pocket protector, calculator in a holster, blood dripping from the corner of your mouth, etc.
posted by wjm at 1:34 AM on October 22, 2015

I did witch last year. Put it together at the last second when I found a super-reduced witch hat at the grocery store on the way home on the 31st. I used a pair of cheap cat's eye glasses from zenni, long black dress, green tinged face makeup, granny boots. The costume was so successful that my kids didn't recognize me when I picked them up at school and several small children flat out refused to come up my stairs for candy. They sent their parents instead. I'll get you my pretties!
posted by Cuke at 4:24 AM on October 22, 2015

I used to have a grim reaper costume where the face mask was some grey mesh that I could see through, but people couldn't see my face. So black full length robe with hood up, black gloves, grey mesh draped over my face and holding a scythe prop. Creepy as @#$%.
posted by TORunner at 5:22 AM on October 22, 2015

Well, I there's always the Corinthian if you have some plain prescription sunglasses. Paint (or get someone else to paint) "teeth" on your closed eyelids. I'm not sure how the paint would hold up over the course of the day, though.

Otherwise: something with a large helmet? I found this image; even if you didn't want to go for whatever Tolkien thing this is, this kind of half-helmet with some skelly-like makeup for the lower half of the face might be something. Anything that looks like you don't have eyes would work, I'd think.
posted by curious nu at 6:34 AM on October 22, 2015

Consider dressing up as whatever you want and wearing your glasses anyway. As a glasses-wearer since 3rd grade, I've long before come to the conclusion that being able to see comfortably makes me happier in whatever costume I pick. No one's going to ding you invisible Halloween points for just wearing your glasses!
posted by fiercecupcake at 7:34 AM on October 22, 2015

I just wear what I would wear anyway -- avoiding masks or face-specific costumes. For example, this year I'm going as Bunnicula and for any haters who are all "but Bunnicula didn't wear glasses!" I say to them "Bunnicula also wasn't a human in a bunny suit."
posted by egeanin at 2:28 PM on October 23, 2015