Letter from ex shrink
July 29, 2015 6:31 AM   Subscribe

I wrote letter, after a year coming to grips with his mistreatment, to a psychiatrist who acted (inappropriate verbal disclosures only re his sexual feelings) unethically. I won't post the letter here. I didn't expect him to explicitly apologize for his mistakes, nor did I really want one (I might feel responsible for him again, which is not healthy). The first paragraph of my letter to him described in clear detail his mistakes and the rest of the letter went on to describe the aftermath for me after I left him. Please offer your thoughts on this letter...

He wrote: J, I am genuinely glad you were able to write. Your courage and strength of purpose in sending me your letter were not lost on me (from start to finish). It was such a rich letter: direct, incisive, and emotionally alive. I am pleased you are trying to find a silver lining-hard won and painful I'm sure. It sounds like you are in a better place with yourself. Thank you for your thoughts and reflections. I too wish you well..... Dr. X

Basically this was a therapy relationship that went haywire, though nothing physical occurred. Can I accept this letter as his tacit acknowledgement of wrongdoing? I would like to COMPLETELY move on from this. Probably for liability reasons he couldn't make full, explicit disclosure. I am satisfied with the letter so long as it is, in fact, admitting that he harmed me, albeit it was an oblique disclosure.
posted by Jaspersen145 to Human Relations (3 answers total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: Hey, sorry, but there's a problem with sharing the private correspondence of other people on the site, and this is probably something better to review with new, trusted therapist. -- taz

 
I think you have to move beyond whether or not this person is going to admit he harmed you. You did what you had to do, and you got a response, but the response is irrelevant. You can't tie "moving on" to the actions of others.
posted by xingcat at 6:39 AM on July 29, 2015


That letter admits nothing explicitly or implicitly. The fact that he even replied might be as much satisfaction as you get.
posted by dortmunder at 6:39 AM on July 29, 2015


Of course you can. He's responded to your letter and none of his language is defensive or dismissive or trying to rebut the things you wrote him about. That's acknowledgement enough for me.

I'm glad you wrote the letter and that it's enabling you to put this experience behind you.
posted by phunniemee at 6:39 AM on July 29, 2015


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