Who am I?
June 16, 2015 3:12 AM Subscribe
Who am I...the person I wish I were, or the person I ended up being? Can It be corrected?
In my mind, I am rather differnt than who I am in reality. The guy I aspired to be played snarley punked-out rock'n'roll for a small cult of people who dug the message. He had tattoos that went up one arm and across his back and back down the other arm. He managed to travel a bit and saw some cool places. He wasn't rich, but he got by ok doing a job that he liked and held his interest. He dressed boldly and lived the same.
The me in real life is none of the above. He is boring. He never travelled, he hid his art from the world, ashamed of it. He is poor, and it looks like he always will be. His work, when it can be found, is profoundly boring, and pays very little. He is risk avoidant, and scared of so many things. He lets life viciously beat him up and never fights back.
The only things we have in common is we are caring fellows who want freedom and happiness in the world and do what we can to help.
But the thing is, I know...I am sure of it...that I am actually, really the first guy. I can't prove it, but it feels right, and it's like I am trapped in a life that feels wrong.
It's like when people say, just be yourself. Who is that? The sloppy mess that congealed in a ditch somewhere, or the vision that resides in the mind?
Why do I feel like such a fraud when I attempt to manifest it then?
I'd like to hear some perspectives. What do you think?
In my mind, I am rather differnt than who I am in reality. The guy I aspired to be played snarley punked-out rock'n'roll for a small cult of people who dug the message. He had tattoos that went up one arm and across his back and back down the other arm. He managed to travel a bit and saw some cool places. He wasn't rich, but he got by ok doing a job that he liked and held his interest. He dressed boldly and lived the same.
The me in real life is none of the above. He is boring. He never travelled, he hid his art from the world, ashamed of it. He is poor, and it looks like he always will be. His work, when it can be found, is profoundly boring, and pays very little. He is risk avoidant, and scared of so many things. He lets life viciously beat him up and never fights back.
The only things we have in common is we are caring fellows who want freedom and happiness in the world and do what we can to help.
But the thing is, I know...I am sure of it...that I am actually, really the first guy. I can't prove it, but it feels right, and it's like I am trapped in a life that feels wrong.
It's like when people say, just be yourself. Who is that? The sloppy mess that congealed in a ditch somewhere, or the vision that resides in the mind?
Why do I feel like such a fraud when I attempt to manifest it then?
I'd like to hear some perspectives. What do you think?
This post was deleted for the following reason: Hey, sorry, but as presented this is more "let's have a discussion" than "help me solve X concrete problem" (see: chatfilter). Please contact us if you have questions. -- taz
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