Will he come back or is it time for me to forget him?
May 25, 2015 2:53 AM

Was dating someone for two months and now he has disappeared. Why date me for that long and form a connection, and then disappear?

I've done a lot to get over my 'neediness' and feel I've come very far. I am naturally a happy, optimistic person and have been living my life. My dates have improved considerably since last year because of this. I posted a previous question about a guy who I dated for a couple of months and then he disappeared. I got over it soon after and continued dating. But now it's happened again with my new guy, and I'm not sure if he has also gone for good. I last saw him 10 days ago, and haven't heard from him since Thursday.
This new guy I've been seeing since the beginning of April and he is quite shy and guarded. But we were going out every week a couple of times or once a week, and we had really nice dates, and he would ask me out for the next date as soon as he could. We didn't kiss until the fourth date where he asked me if he could. We had really nice dates where we would just go for long walks and talk about anything. We started becoming more affectionate and I slept over at his place the last two times. We didn't have sex though and he didn't push for it either. We bonded and became a lot closer the last two times also where it seemed he was letting down his guard. He asked me out every time except the last time where I said I was free on Friday to do something and he said he'd love to.
So I went to his last week on Friday and he cooked me dinner. His housemates were around and they didn't say hello to me and completely ignored me, but he didn't introduce me either. So that was a bit awkward but when they were gone it was fine. Then on saturday morning he said he would walk me to the station but as I left the house, he slammed the door shut in my face! I messaged him saying 'is that how we say goodbye now?' and he apologized thinking I just wanted to leave without him and without kissing him goodbye, so I said that I know he wouldn't do something like that on purpose and it was fine.
Then I broke my phone that day and had to work on Sunday morning and needed an alarm. I contacted some my friends but none of them have imessage which is where I could reach them through the computer, or they had gone away. So I asked my guy if he could please wake me up on sunday morning and he said that of course he would. I was really thankful but then on Sunday he never called me. My phone got fixed and I saw he had been online half an hour before he was meant to wake me up.I laughed to myself thinking he had probably just overslept by accident, but then he never got in touch with me until I asked him how he was a couple of days later. We were texting a bit last week here and there but not a lot, he would take 24 hours to reply. The messages were light and funny. He has not answered my last message since Thursday so I am guessing he has lost interest for some reason.
Am I right to think he has moved on, or is it normal for men to sometimes withdraw for this long? I definitely wasn't becoming more needy as time went on, if anything we were growing closer and were having better and better dates each time.
Twice in a row now, I have dated a guy for 2 months or more, and then they just vanish. Is this normal? I feel like something is wrong with me.
posted by akita to Human Relations

This post was deleted for the following reason: Sorry, but this is not substantially different than your recent question along the same lines, and the same advice applies -- taz

 
« Older Desserts for a crowd!   |   Calling all small-apartment dwellers Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.