My neighbor probably stole a package from us. What to do?
April 14, 2015 9:03 PM
My partner ordered an item through the US Postal Service. He received an immediate text when it was delivered yesterday, but when he stepped outside to get it there was nothing there.
He reported this to the post office right away and they returned the call this afternoon, saying that the carrier had given the package to "the next-door neighbor" who had claimed that he was authorized by us to receive packages. We never said anything like this to him -- he's the last neighbor we would ever trust to take packages for us.
We actually have the voice mail message from the post office rep which acknowledges that the carrier had given a neighbor the package without any sort of verification beyond the neighbor's word.
When my partner went to ask the neighbor about everything (after getting off the phone with the Postal Service rep), the neighbor said that he had seen the postal worker toss the package over the fence onto the porch and that he had told her to be more careful with the package. He said that the package had landed on the porch. My partner, our friend and I all looked on and around the porch and it was nowhere to be seen.
Partner and I left home for a few hours, and when we got back about an hour ago he went downstairs to check again. Surprise, surprise, there was the package right where the neighbor had told us it had been. He brought it upstairs and opened the (exterior mailing) package. The item itself had been opened (the hard plastic packaging had been cut) although the contents were all there.
It's not a particularly interesting or valuable item (probably $20 retail at the most) but the thing that makes us anxious is that the person who opened the package had no idea what was in there -- it could have been something much more important.
Once we realized the mail had not only been taken & returned but also tampered with, we decided to call the police. Because it had been actually opened, they referred us to the US Postal Inspection Service. They don't open until the morning, so we're trying to figure out what to do.
Option 1: Do nothing. We don't want to start a Big Thing over such a minor item, particularly as mail tampering could conceivably send someone to federal prison. And the postal worker could lose her job. Not to mention that this person IS our next-door neighbor and we are going to be living next to him for at least a while.
Option 2: Talk to him directly. In an ideal world, he would admit that he took it, apologize and get the message not to be doing shady things like this. Yay neighborliness.
Option 3: Call in the authorities and let the chips fall where they may. Like I said, we don't want this to be a bigger deal than it has to be, but we're also aware that something more valuable could be taken in future (or may already have been from another neighbor).
Your advice?
He reported this to the post office right away and they returned the call this afternoon, saying that the carrier had given the package to "the next-door neighbor" who had claimed that he was authorized by us to receive packages. We never said anything like this to him -- he's the last neighbor we would ever trust to take packages for us.
We actually have the voice mail message from the post office rep which acknowledges that the carrier had given a neighbor the package without any sort of verification beyond the neighbor's word.
When my partner went to ask the neighbor about everything (after getting off the phone with the Postal Service rep), the neighbor said that he had seen the postal worker toss the package over the fence onto the porch and that he had told her to be more careful with the package. He said that the package had landed on the porch. My partner, our friend and I all looked on and around the porch and it was nowhere to be seen.
Partner and I left home for a few hours, and when we got back about an hour ago he went downstairs to check again. Surprise, surprise, there was the package right where the neighbor had told us it had been. He brought it upstairs and opened the (exterior mailing) package. The item itself had been opened (the hard plastic packaging had been cut) although the contents were all there.
It's not a particularly interesting or valuable item (probably $20 retail at the most) but the thing that makes us anxious is that the person who opened the package had no idea what was in there -- it could have been something much more important.
Once we realized the mail had not only been taken & returned but also tampered with, we decided to call the police. Because it had been actually opened, they referred us to the US Postal Inspection Service. They don't open until the morning, so we're trying to figure out what to do.
Option 1: Do nothing. We don't want to start a Big Thing over such a minor item, particularly as mail tampering could conceivably send someone to federal prison. And the postal worker could lose her job. Not to mention that this person IS our next-door neighbor and we are going to be living next to him for at least a while.
Option 2: Talk to him directly. In an ideal world, he would admit that he took it, apologize and get the message not to be doing shady things like this. Yay neighborliness.
Option 3: Call in the authorities and let the chips fall where they may. Like I said, we don't want this to be a bigger deal than it has to be, but we're also aware that something more valuable could be taken in future (or may already have been from another neighbor).
Your advice?
Oh man, fuck this guy. I totally get not wanting to make this a huge thing, but there were so many fuckups here. Instead of thinking of it like "my $20 item was messed with a little bit," think "what if I had an asthmatic child and this was an emergency replacement nebulizer for the one that broke last night," or "what if my grandmother lived here and this douchecanoe opened her diapers, she'd be mortified and would cry for days." It's not just you. If this guy stole your package, he'd steal anyone's.
I don't want the mail carrier to get fired, either, but the mail carrier absolutely did the wrong thing here. The USPS needs to follow whatever bureaucratic formal process they have for making sure that error doesn't happen again, on this route or any of the carrier's future routes.
And this guy, this fucking guy, he needs to get in trouble. If there's no follow up with this he's going to keep doing it and keep doing it. Maybe not to you, but to someone else. Other people are going to have their packages disappear because this guy sucks. I'd wager large sums today wasn't his first time.
So I'd say go with option 3. Maybe add a shake of option 2, maybe not. Personally this kind of crime aggravates the piss out of me, because it's one of those things that just shows complete contempt for other people. There is no way in hell I'd let this slide.
posted by phunniemee at 9:21 PM on April 14, 2015
I don't want the mail carrier to get fired, either, but the mail carrier absolutely did the wrong thing here. The USPS needs to follow whatever bureaucratic formal process they have for making sure that error doesn't happen again, on this route or any of the carrier's future routes.
And this guy, this fucking guy, he needs to get in trouble. If there's no follow up with this he's going to keep doing it and keep doing it. Maybe not to you, but to someone else. Other people are going to have their packages disappear because this guy sucks. I'd wager large sums today wasn't his first time.
So I'd say go with option 3. Maybe add a shake of option 2, maybe not. Personally this kind of crime aggravates the piss out of me, because it's one of those things that just shows complete contempt for other people. There is no way in hell I'd let this slide.
posted by phunniemee at 9:21 PM on April 14, 2015
we have a sign on our door
This is lovely in theory but in Chicago (at least in the 5 different neighborhoods I've lived in here) the USPS ignores signs posted on doors.
posted by phunniemee at 9:24 PM on April 14, 2015
This is lovely in theory but in Chicago (at least in the 5 different neighborhoods I've lived in here) the USPS ignores signs posted on doors.
posted by phunniemee at 9:24 PM on April 14, 2015
I would not willingly start a war with a neighbour who was willing to steal my stuff and lie about it straight to my face. He's not going to get arrested over a $20 package most likely, even if it was mail tampering, and then you'll have to live next to someone who is not just a criminal, but a really pissed off criminal.
You could try asking the post office to note your address as not one where neighbour/porch deliveries are permitted and posting a sign to that effect, but if you regularly get packages of higher values than this one, consider having them sent to a mailbox service or a UPS store that will accept them on your behalf.
posted by jacquilynne at 9:39 PM on April 14, 2015
You could try asking the post office to note your address as not one where neighbour/porch deliveries are permitted and posting a sign to that effect, but if you regularly get packages of higher values than this one, consider having them sent to a mailbox service or a UPS store that will accept them on your behalf.
posted by jacquilynne at 9:39 PM on April 14, 2015
I agree with phunniemee. There's no possible excuse for opening someone else's mail like this. Option 3.
I see "don't open other people's mail" as akin to the guest right in Game of Thrones. It's a basic requirement of living in society.
posted by BungaDunga at 9:40 PM on April 14, 2015
I see "don't open other people's mail" as akin to the guest right in Game of Thrones. It's a basic requirement of living in society.
posted by BungaDunga at 9:40 PM on April 14, 2015
He got caught. He knows it and you know it. Consider whether this in itself may be enough to discourage these shenanigans in the future. Consider that allowing him to save face while everyone knows he is really guilty may be the best way to go.
The police probably aren't actually going to do anything serious, and it'll turn into a "he said, she said."
Definitely inform the post office not to do this again. Put up a sign, it can't hurt. If you have an apartment front desk, see if they will deliver things there. You might also consider a security camera.
posted by quincunx at 9:59 PM on April 14, 2015
The police probably aren't actually going to do anything serious, and it'll turn into a "he said, she said."
Definitely inform the post office not to do this again. Put up a sign, it can't hurt. If you have an apartment front desk, see if they will deliver things there. You might also consider a security camera.
posted by quincunx at 9:59 PM on April 14, 2015
Can't you just set all future packages as requiring your signature, or maybe even insure the important packages? I personally wouldn't go to war over this, but I've had some seriously over-the-top neighbors.
posted by salvia at 10:02 PM on April 14, 2015
posted by salvia at 10:02 PM on April 14, 2015
I would not confront the neighbor directly. You are not going to get an admission or an apology out of him. He has no compunction about stealing mail, which everyone in the US knows is a huge deal and a Federal crime, and he has even less compunction about lying to your face. A person like you would admit/apologize so it would be reasonable to confront a person like you, but then again, a person like you would not do this in the first place. So don't hold him to the normal-person standards to which you hold yourself, hold him to criminal creep liar standards and keep a wide berth.
If you do go with option 3, I'd be crystal-clear that you yourself thoroughly inspected all surrounding areas and the package was NOT left. Be sure to report that you are 100% confident the carrier delivered the package to the neighbor in good faith. If you are clear about that every step of the way, your carrier won't get fired for delivering to a neighbor who claimed to know you. Make it clear that they have to keep their eye out for the neighbor, basically.
It's a little odd to me that the police referred you to Postal. Did they think your beef was with your mail carrier? To me it seems pretty clear your beef was with your neighbor.
posted by kapers at 10:10 PM on April 14, 2015
If you do go with option 3, I'd be crystal-clear that you yourself thoroughly inspected all surrounding areas and the package was NOT left. Be sure to report that you are 100% confident the carrier delivered the package to the neighbor in good faith. If you are clear about that every step of the way, your carrier won't get fired for delivering to a neighbor who claimed to know you. Make it clear that they have to keep their eye out for the neighbor, basically.
It's a little odd to me that the police referred you to Postal. Did they think your beef was with your mail carrier? To me it seems pretty clear your beef was with your neighbor.
posted by kapers at 10:10 PM on April 14, 2015
Start a war? What's he going to do, start stealing your packages? Report it to the postal inspectors. Maybe he's got a hundred complaints already. Maybe nothing will happen to him, but he'll know in the future he's got a report logged already so he'd better not do it again.
The mail person isn't going to get fired. She might get cautioned (unless she has a hundred complaints already.)
posted by ctmf at 10:11 PM on April 14, 2015
The mail person isn't going to get fired. She might get cautioned (unless she has a hundred complaints already.)
posted by ctmf at 10:11 PM on April 14, 2015
Personally, I'd report it to / work with the Postal Inspectors, giving them the factual details of what happened. If they pursue it (seems unlikely but who knows) and the neighbor says anything to you, lay it all on the USPS. Just say "oh, well yeah we had to report it when it was missing, they must have followed up, I dunno..." smile, shrug, walk away. Complete candor is not required when dealing with scumbags.
N.B.: from what I understand of how the Postal Inspection Service works, just because they're involved doesn't mean it's casting aspersions on your mail carrier. USPIS is Federal law enforcement and they pursue mail theft / tampering in general, as well as a host of other mail-related crimes; they are not the USPS version of Internal Affairs or something. So it's unsurprising that the local police referred you to them; that's completely within their purview. Mail theft is different from stealing UPS packages, analogous to the same way that robbing a bank is different from robbing a convenience store.
posted by Kadin2048 at 10:26 PM on April 14, 2015
N.B.: from what I understand of how the Postal Inspection Service works, just because they're involved doesn't mean it's casting aspersions on your mail carrier. USPIS is Federal law enforcement and they pursue mail theft / tampering in general, as well as a host of other mail-related crimes; they are not the USPS version of Internal Affairs or something. So it's unsurprising that the local police referred you to them; that's completely within their purview. Mail theft is different from stealing UPS packages, analogous to the same way that robbing a bank is different from robbing a convenience store.
posted by Kadin2048 at 10:26 PM on April 14, 2015
Play dumb, but report it to postal inspector. You have to pursue this, it is a serious crime. Sorry this happened.
posted by jbenben at 12:03 AM on April 15, 2015
posted by jbenben at 12:03 AM on April 15, 2015
Start a war? What's he going to do, start stealing your packages?
Read through the Ask Me "neighbour" or "neighbor" tags some time. There's a plethora of ways for neighbours to annoy or threaten each other and I was just saying that I wouldn't want to get into a situation with this guy.
posted by jacquilynne at 4:55 AM on April 15, 2015
Read through the Ask Me "neighbour" or "neighbor" tags some time. There's a plethora of ways for neighbours to annoy or threaten each other and I was just saying that I wouldn't want to get into a situation with this guy.
posted by jacquilynne at 4:55 AM on April 15, 2015
I would report it to the postal inspectors and your local post office, being calm and factual. Although you (rightly) don't want to cost someone their job, your postal carrier did not do her job properly and needs to be corrected. Will she be fired over a single incident where ultimately the package was recovered and no postal insurance claim was made by the shipper? I don't know--probably not. Maybe she always just leaves packages with whoever is standing around, in which case, she's needs to be re-trained or fired.
If you can easily afford it, you might look into renting a post office box for receipt of your mail because, personally, I would not tolerate the possibility of my neighbor taking my mail and packages, and diverting them away from the house (and thus the neighbor) is the simplest solution. It's also easy for me to get packages at work and bring them home, so I would ship things there instead. Signature required may not necessarily be what you want because as near as I can tell you can't require signature of a specific person (that is, delivery to Joe and Joe only) but only that signature be obtained (and ID is only necessary for "Adult signature required"). Your neighbor could still sign for your packages, in other words, although having to might stop him.
posted by crush-onastick at 6:40 AM on April 15, 2015
If you can easily afford it, you might look into renting a post office box for receipt of your mail because, personally, I would not tolerate the possibility of my neighbor taking my mail and packages, and diverting them away from the house (and thus the neighbor) is the simplest solution. It's also easy for me to get packages at work and bring them home, so I would ship things there instead. Signature required may not necessarily be what you want because as near as I can tell you can't require signature of a specific person (that is, delivery to Joe and Joe only) but only that signature be obtained (and ID is only necessary for "Adult signature required"). Your neighbor could still sign for your packages, in other words, although having to might stop him.
posted by crush-onastick at 6:40 AM on April 15, 2015
Do report the package was tampered with and do share all the evidence. If they decide that he did it, then that has nothing to do with you. If you like, you can mention to him that the package was tampered with and they are investigating, and warn him to watch out for his packages because there seems to be a trouble maker in the neighborhood. Don't outright accuse him. You could still be wrong.
My super paranoid boss rents a box for all of his mail and deliveries so that this sort of thing never happens. It really isn't that expensive and it's handy for when he goes out of town. You may want to do this until the neighbor moves away.
posted by myselfasme at 6:45 AM on April 15, 2015
My super paranoid boss rents a box for all of his mail and deliveries so that this sort of thing never happens. It really isn't that expensive and it's handy for when he goes out of town. You may want to do this until the neighbor moves away.
posted by myselfasme at 6:45 AM on April 15, 2015
Have another package sent to your house, but set up a covert video cam.
posted by at at 7:11 AM on April 15, 2015
posted by at at 7:11 AM on April 15, 2015
Update: Thanks for your input, everyone! We did decide to proceed with a formal request for investigation through the US Postal Inspector Service. As was noted above, this neighbor very well may have been doing this to other neighbors for some time -- it's pretty brazen that he actually took the package within a few minutes of it being delivered (literally in the time it took Partner to get up and walk down the stairs), in broad daylight.
The rep was great and assured us that they will be speaking to the local postal office and will be checking in with other neighbors to see if there have been other mail theft issues, and we have a tracking number so we can check in on the status of our complaint.
posted by tivalasvegas at 8:52 AM on April 15, 2015
The rep was great and assured us that they will be speaking to the local postal office and will be checking in with other neighbors to see if there have been other mail theft issues, and we have a tracking number so we can check in on the status of our complaint.
posted by tivalasvegas at 8:52 AM on April 15, 2015
I'm glad you reported it. Not at all unlikely neighbor has done it before.
posted by theora55 at 10:48 AM on April 15, 2015
posted by theora55 at 10:48 AM on April 15, 2015
IMHO, you need to catch the guy in the act. I'd get a surveillance camera and aim it at the porch from inside the house (obviously you can't order this online, hahaha). THEN order something, let the PIS know.
posted by kschang at 11:34 AM on April 15, 2015
posted by kschang at 11:34 AM on April 15, 2015
Posters above have given great information; I just wanted to add a tip that worked well for us. After I had a package stolen from my front porch, we decided to install security cameras and I also bought a patio storage bench that has a seat that lifts up with a space inside. I placed the bench by the door, and a small note under the doorbell for UPS/Fedex to place packages in the bench. It's worked out great so far: The bench looks like it belongs there (doesn't scream "there is some awesome mail hidden in here!"), items aren't visible to thieves driving by, and keeps them out of the weather.
posted by cuddles.mcsnuggy at 11:37 AM on April 15, 2015
posted by cuddles.mcsnuggy at 11:37 AM on April 15, 2015
Oh, and I am totally following myselfasme's advice next time I run into SketchyNeighbor. The script will be as follows:
tivalasvegas: Hey SketchyNeighbor, dude that package that Partner was asking you about the other day? Somebody actually did take it and then they put it back on the porch right where the carrier left it! And they even opened it up! I know right, so sketchy? Anyway I wanted to let you know to keep an extra eye out, there's someone running around stealing stuff!
Yeah, we reported it to the postal service police so they will be investigating....
SketchyNeighbor: *sweats bullets*
posted by tivalasvegas at 4:58 PM on April 15, 2015
tivalasvegas: Hey SketchyNeighbor, dude that package that Partner was asking you about the other day? Somebody actually did take it and then they put it back on the porch right where the carrier left it! And they even opened it up! I know right, so sketchy? Anyway I wanted to let you know to keep an extra eye out, there's someone running around stealing stuff!
Yeah, we reported it to the postal service police so they will be investigating....
SketchyNeighbor: *sweats bullets*
posted by tivalasvegas at 4:58 PM on April 15, 2015
SketchyNeighbor: *sweats bullets*
You have such hope for humanity.
posted by salvia at 8:21 PM on April 15, 2015
You have such hope for humanity.
posted by salvia at 8:21 PM on April 15, 2015
Oh, and I am totally following myselfasme's advice next time I run into SketchyNeighbor. The script will be as follows: [...]
I absolutely would not tell the guy you have reported the theft or give him any other info. If he is guilty then it makes it much more likely that he will figure out a way to lie about things and possibly avoid punishment. It might also make him be more careful in the future about how he steals, but still be stealing.
Also, it could get confrontational. He’ll probably see through your “innocent” script and assume you are accusing him (even if he is innocent!). Really, report it to the authorities, be ready to testify against him if it comes to that, but otherwise don’t engage.
posted by D.C. at 9:07 PM on April 15, 2015
I absolutely would not tell the guy you have reported the theft or give him any other info. If he is guilty then it makes it much more likely that he will figure out a way to lie about things and possibly avoid punishment. It might also make him be more careful in the future about how he steals, but still be stealing.
Also, it could get confrontational. He’ll probably see through your “innocent” script and assume you are accusing him (even if he is innocent!). Really, report it to the authorities, be ready to testify against him if it comes to that, but otherwise don’t engage.
posted by D.C. at 9:07 PM on April 15, 2015
Yeah, no information should go to the suspect.
I'd mail myself a package, and watch discreetly when the mailman comes. Catching him in the act will allow you to have the police act decisively; stealing mail is a federal crime.
Put something of "value" in the box - a used book with an online value of $20, or a jacket that no longer fits - so the crime isn't just nominal, but has loss attached. Probably won't matter, as this will prove the guy stole the other package as well, but JIC.
posted by IAmBroom at 8:36 AM on April 17, 2015
I'd mail myself a package, and watch discreetly when the mailman comes. Catching him in the act will allow you to have the police act decisively; stealing mail is a federal crime.
Put something of "value" in the box - a used book with an online value of $20, or a jacket that no longer fits - so the crime isn't just nominal, but has loss attached. Probably won't matter, as this will prove the guy stole the other package as well, but JIC.
posted by IAmBroom at 8:36 AM on April 17, 2015
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by rtha at 9:17 PM on April 14, 2015