Most annoying ringtone!

November 20, 2005 8:39 AM

Ringtone Wars! Please help me find the most annoying mp3 ringtones!

My co-workers have started ringtone wars in the office. The one with the most annoying ringtone wins!
Searching google has turned up nothing but those horrible websites that want to charge lots of money for the latest Green Day midi tones.
My phone can play mp3s, so any annoying song, jingle, ringtone would be great! The speaker has a very tinny sound, so the clearer the sound, the better.

posted by j to Technology (25 answers total)

I don't have the balls to change my tone to the Explicit Content Only version of NWA's Straight Outta Compton.

I changed my ringtone on my old phone to a clucking chicken. I would make things worse by saying "Is there a chicken in here?" every time my phone rang.
posted by birdherder at 9:12 AM on November 20, 2005

You're The Man Now Dog!

Try http://ualuealuealeuale.ytmnd.com or http://bebubebududeh.ytmnd.com/# for starters - view source to get at the .wav files.

Every annoying noise you could ever imagine can be got here, just click around.
posted by nowonmai at 9:12 AM on November 20, 2005

I'm not sure if it's an issue or not, but mobile17 will convert and send ringtones to your phone for free. I used them when they used to be Smash the Tones or whatever, and it worked really well. As for what to put on there, how about something from the Video Game Music Archive? Some of those can be pretty annoying. Or good old bananaphone! Lifted from this post.
posted by Who_Am_I at 9:15 AM on November 20, 2005

Is there a possibility you could win by going completely anti-shock, and using the warmest, fuzziest ringtone in the world?

If not, my suggestion is a crying baby.
posted by I Love Tacos at 9:18 AM on November 20, 2005

Two words. Crazy Frog
posted by brautigan at 9:19 AM on November 20, 2005

The Banana Splits Song? (MP3 Link)
posted by xoe26 at 9:22 AM on November 20, 2005

Couldn't you just record fingernails on a blackboard? Or maybe
- anything from 'The Apprentice' where someone is blaming someone else
- anything Omarosa ever said on 'The Apprentice'
- Britney Spears talking about her sex life
- see if you can find the sound of a jackhammer hitting a blackboard?
posted by Dipsomaniac at 9:37 AM on November 20, 2005

Do your coworkers like cats?

<meow>

<meow>

<meow>

<meow>

<meow>

<meow>

A friend of mine had that ringtone. Drove me nuts.

(I do like I Love Taco's idea.)
posted by PurplePorpoise at 10:10 AM on November 20, 2005

Schnappi ( Quicktime)
posted by kudzu at 10:19 AM on November 20, 2005

The Chicken Yodel. But they'll kill you.
posted by Wolfdog at 10:21 AM on November 20, 2005

Crazy frog, or the old nokia ringtone at full volume left to ring for ages.
posted by MrC at 10:35 AM on November 20, 2005

You don't know what it's like - I'm the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I'm not out of order! You're out of order! The whole freaking system is out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth? You can't handle the truth! 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo - that used to be your best friend's face, you'll know what to do!! Forget it Marge, it's Chinatown!!!
posted by thanotopsis at 10:45 AM on November 20, 2005

I used to have the outro from Pink Floyd's Bike as my ringtone -- you know, the bit where Syd's laugh is backtracked and overlayed on itself. Sounds like a demented duck, and yes, I received threats.

Oh, and Wolfdog, that yodel is but a pale imitation of the true masters of the genre: The Cackle Sisters.
posted by scruss at 11:14 AM on November 20, 2005

I put it to you that the beginning hooga-chockas of Blue Swede's "Hooked on a Feeling" should quickly induce projectile peristalsis of all sorts.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:16 AM on November 20, 2005

On top of scruss's Pink Floyd mention... the alarm clock segment from Dark Side of the Moon?
posted by Leon at 11:48 AM on November 20, 2005

Hands down most annoying song ever -- "peanut butter jelly time" (flash movie). You'll have to convert it to mp3 yourself, with AudioHijack or something. But it's worth it. Worth it. Your friends will have that song stuck in their heads for years. It's like the Ring-gu. You'll die humming that shit.

Also, any "song" from B3ta lounge.
posted by zpousman at 2:25 PM on November 20, 2005

Does it have to be SFW? If not, I humbly nominate The Smurfs. NSFW!
posted by emelenjr at 2:48 PM on November 20, 2005

I worked with a guy who had the whole "RING RING RING RING RING RING BANANAPHONE!" song as his ringtone. It was great.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 3:47 PM on November 20, 2005

Blink 182 (? maybe not, got it from a friend who almost certainly downloaded it from KaZaa or where ever) have a short, maybe 30 seconds long song with these lyrics:

Shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits fart turd and twat
Shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits fart turd and twat
Shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits fart turd and twat
I fucked your mom....

Sadly it's too catchy to ever get annoying. The winner for that is the "Driving mode" that some LG phones have which announce in a Macintalk Steven Hawkin style, "Call from: [badly pronounced name]"
posted by sdrawkcab at 4:41 PM on November 20, 2005

The Sony Ericcson s710a comes with a ringtone of a woman singing, "Hey, you're phone is ringing. Hey, you're phone is riiiinging. Hey-ey, you're phone is a-ringiiiing..." It's great, if you can find it.

If NSFW is ok, William S. Burroughs reading Naked Lunch is kind of an odd choice for a ringtone. (Trust me.)

How about "Let the Eagle Soar" by John Ashcroft?
posted by rfordh at 4:43 PM on November 20, 2005

Master Shake telling you to answer your phone would probably annoy me pretty badly.
posted by jennyb at 5:58 PM on November 20, 2005

I think that most anything you found on the WFMU blog under the 'mp3' category would be appropriate.

Suggested highlights: The Beatles Barkers (Beatles songs as barked by dogs), anything by Lil' Markie, the rejected Pizza Hut Jingle by Ween, and anything off the Erotic Aerobics LP.
posted by tew at 9:25 PM on November 20, 2005

Crazy Frog. Damn, that's annoying.
posted by fshgrl at 9:36 PM on November 20, 2005

Hm. For some entirely bizarre reason, T-Mobile is offering me the chance to download a ringer that is nothing but a long, loud belch.

I would find that entirely annoying, myself.
posted by angeline at 10:56 AM on November 21, 2005

On the NSFW front, a section from Butt Trumpet's I've Been So Mad Lately. More obscenities per second than anything else I've heard.
posted by scruss at 7:08 AM on November 22, 2005