Private integrity rather than recognition
October 10, 2014 9:06 PM Subscribe
I'm looking for readings, stories of peoples' lives, anecdotes, your thoughts, or any other sort of material about the value of a "small" life of private integrity over a "larger" life of public recognition and acclaim. I'd love especially to read about people's lives, so pointers to biographical reading material would be appreciated.
There's a rich seam of this sort of writing and ideas in Quakerism in public and private integrity and intentional simplicity.
I'm particularly taken with the example of it's founder George Fox who lived a pretty fascinating life. As the founder of a new religious denonmination a lot of his writing is all about God and religious discipline, but there are lots of ideas within it about the dignity of the individuals and the excesses of worldly concerns that might strike a chord with you.
"Be patterns, be examples in all countries, places, islands, nations, wherever you come, that your carriage and life may preach among all sorts of people, and to them; then you will come to walk cheerfully over the world, answering that of God in every one."
George Fox, 1656
posted by Middlemarch at 11:25 PM on October 10, 2014 [4 favorites]
I'm particularly taken with the example of it's founder George Fox who lived a pretty fascinating life. As the founder of a new religious denonmination a lot of his writing is all about God and religious discipline, but there are lots of ideas within it about the dignity of the individuals and the excesses of worldly concerns that might strike a chord with you.
"Be patterns, be examples in all countries, places, islands, nations, wherever you come, that your carriage and life may preach among all sorts of people, and to them; then you will come to walk cheerfully over the world, answering that of God in every one."
George Fox, 1656
posted by Middlemarch at 11:25 PM on October 10, 2014 [4 favorites]
I'm interested in this, too, as there seems to be the general implication that are certainly "correct" ways of living a life, regardless of your profession or practice, that are generally larger and more outward facing than I'm personally inclined.
It's related to the introvert/extrovert discussion, and it's also wrapped up in some sort of faith in social structures, community, group participation, hive mind, etc. etc...I think it's incredibly brave to acknowledge that and still decide not to "give in" to structuring your life in that way.
It's also somewhat isolating, as by definition you are refusing to step into a ready made path, so to speak. You are refusing to participate in a certain kind of organizing and validating of your life, which confuses some people, and offends others. But it's sort of tit for tat - you are saying "no, thank you" and stepping back, and then the system says "ok", and then ignores you.
If you do manage to continue to practice your own interests with mostly disregard for the larger community, whether in a large or small way, paradoxically, sometimes the community lauds and valorizes you. Just think about many trail-blazing entrepreneurs (large), and obscurely-known but respected artists (small).
Finally, instead of biographical material, i would direct you to think about or get to know many of the older women in your life, your neighbors, those in your local community...for many do indeed choose to live their lives (by choice or by circumstance) in the way you describe.
posted by lady3bird at 7:12 AM on October 11, 2014 [3 favorites]
It's related to the introvert/extrovert discussion, and it's also wrapped up in some sort of faith in social structures, community, group participation, hive mind, etc. etc...I think it's incredibly brave to acknowledge that and still decide not to "give in" to structuring your life in that way.
It's also somewhat isolating, as by definition you are refusing to step into a ready made path, so to speak. You are refusing to participate in a certain kind of organizing and validating of your life, which confuses some people, and offends others. But it's sort of tit for tat - you are saying "no, thank you" and stepping back, and then the system says "ok", and then ignores you.
If you do manage to continue to practice your own interests with mostly disregard for the larger community, whether in a large or small way, paradoxically, sometimes the community lauds and valorizes you. Just think about many trail-blazing entrepreneurs (large), and obscurely-known but respected artists (small).
Finally, instead of biographical material, i would direct you to think about or get to know many of the older women in your life, your neighbors, those in your local community...for many do indeed choose to live their lives (by choice or by circumstance) in the way you describe.
posted by lady3bird at 7:12 AM on October 11, 2014 [3 favorites]
Leaving your religion, especially if it has a shunning or "disfellowship" culture to it, would be an example of this. Even though they are often painted in a sinister light for leaving, many people leave their religion for personal integrity reasons. In those cultures, you pay a heavy price...you may lose your entire family, your friends, your job and more.
To that end, if you google the words "disfellowshipped" and "shunning", you'll find stories of people choosing their small life of integrity over a life of recognition and acclaim within their church/social circle.
posted by Grlnxtdr at 10:50 AM on October 11, 2014
To that end, if you google the words "disfellowshipped" and "shunning", you'll find stories of people choosing their small life of integrity over a life of recognition and acclaim within their church/social circle.
posted by Grlnxtdr at 10:50 AM on October 11, 2014
I liked the movie Dead Ringer as a kind of thought experiment on this. It tells the tale of a modest working class woman who murders her well-married sister and takes her place, only to wind up very much regretting it after the fact. It's an excellent movie and I sometimes think about it when I am tempted to do something I would consider unethical out of a desire for personal gain (given my current circumstances, it is hard to not sometimes feel like I have been fucked over by the universe for the crime of living an ethical life, so I sometimes need something to hang on to).
posted by Michele in California at 11:48 AM on October 11, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Michele in California at 11:48 AM on October 11, 2014 [1 favorite]
Something like this theme gets explored in Neil Gaiman's graphic novel Brief Lives. Various minor characters have come down in the world, e.g. Babylonian deities who, finding themselves no longer worshiped, join the mortal world in such modest occupations as travel agent or exotic dancer, allowing themselves to remain true to their original calling.
The book especially grapples with the case of Destruction, a kind of immensely powerful personification whose siblings include Death, Dream, Desire, Despair, and Delirium. Each sibling shapes and rules over the realm for which they are named, except for Destruction, who several centuries ago saw what technology was going to do and wanted no part in it. He therefore abdicated, renouncing his responsibilities -- a decision which some of his siblings argue is itself irresponsible, and they try coaxing him back.
What's particularly charming about Destruction is his cheerful dabbling in various arts: he explores things for their own sake, and doesn't care that his talents are revealed as mediocre at best. Like most of the book's characters, he doesn't depend on renown for validation, instead preferring to direct his own shabby life.
posted by feral_goldfish at 7:42 PM on October 11, 2014 [1 favorite]
The book especially grapples with the case of Destruction, a kind of immensely powerful personification whose siblings include Death, Dream, Desire, Despair, and Delirium. Each sibling shapes and rules over the realm for which they are named, except for Destruction, who several centuries ago saw what technology was going to do and wanted no part in it. He therefore abdicated, renouncing his responsibilities -- a decision which some of his siblings argue is itself irresponsible, and they try coaxing him back.
What's particularly charming about Destruction is his cheerful dabbling in various arts: he explores things for their own sake, and doesn't care that his talents are revealed as mediocre at best. Like most of the book's characters, he doesn't depend on renown for validation, instead preferring to direct his own shabby life.
posted by feral_goldfish at 7:42 PM on October 11, 2014 [1 favorite]
Oh! And you might really like Amongst White Clouds. It's a documentary about Buddhist hermits in the Zhongnan Mountains.
posted by feral_goldfish at 7:49 PM on October 11, 2014
posted by feral_goldfish at 7:49 PM on October 11, 2014
Ah, here it is. I just returned it to the library.
posted by math at 6:50 PM on October 12, 2014
THE LITTLE WAY OF RUTHIE LEMING follows Rod Dreher, a Philadelphia journalist, back to his hometown of St. Francisville, Louisiana (pop. 1,700) in the wake of his younger sister Ruthie's death. When she was diagnosed at age 40 with a virulent form of cancer in 2010, Dreher was moved by the way the community he had left behind rallied around his dying sister, a schoolteacher. He was also struck by the grace and courage with which his sister dealt with the disease that eventually took her life. In Louisiana for Ruthie's funeral in the fall of 2011, Dreher began to wonder whether the ordinary life Ruthie led in their country town was in fact a path of hidden grandeur, even spiritual greatness, concealed within the modest life of a mother and teacher. In order to explore this revelation, Dreher and his wife decided to leave Philadelphia, move home to help with family responsibilities and have their three children grow up amidst the rituals that had defined his family for five generations-Mardi Gras, L.S.U. football games, and deer hunting.I got kind of bored halfway through, with all the "oh the simple life" woo-woo, and I almost put it down. But I'm glad that I finished it, because about 2/3rds of the way in, the author ends up incredibly conflicted about his sister's life, and then, well, I'll let you read it yourself and find out.
posted by math at 6:50 PM on October 12, 2014
Oh my, oh my. Stoner, by John Williams is very much this. Nothing to do with drugs, it's a sort of fictional biography that is incredibly beautiful and sad, about a character who I think epitomizes this.
posted by taltalim at 1:52 PM on October 13, 2014
posted by taltalim at 1:52 PM on October 13, 2014
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posted by bruce at 9:16 PM on October 10, 2014