What conversations should I have before living in sin?

July 10, 2014 7:46 AM

Please suggest items for a checklist of issues/expectations/questions to discuss with my significant other before we shack up! I was reading this question and saw that many people felt that they would never move in with a partner before discussing their finances with a certain level of detail. I would love to know what other rules of thumb people have about establishing a mutual understanding, financially, emotionally, housework-wise, etc. before cohabiting. Possibly relevant details inside.

If it makes a difference, we are a mid-20s hetero couple, living in a large city, about to start our first jobs after professional school right after we move in together. With two big life changes (jobs+moving in together) coinciding, I'd love to try to make the transition as smooth as possible, without expecting that we can plan everything ahead of time.

We usually split expenses down the middle in a "well this seems approximately equal, we're both too lazy to actually find out how approximately because it feels fair" way. We both see moving in together as an intermediate step towards getting married, when we would combine our finances. We will be making approximately equal incomes, with him earning a bit more. We both believe in an egalitarian distribution of housework and decision making power. We generally get along very easily and have not had a fight in the ~2 years we've been seeing each other.

posted by erstwhile ungulate to Human Relations