Help me break this self-destructive cycle of insecurity and clinginess
May 7, 2014 9:29 AM Subscribe
I am a very insecure person (who is working on it, in therapy/in recovery/rocking it). I get in these head spaces where I feel crippling insecure, especially with my boyfriend. I want verbal validation from him, but my asking for it makes him feel pressured. When he feels pressured, he gets distant, and then I feel even more insecure. We both know this is happening. What tricks can we use to make it stop before it gets out of hand?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (12 answers total) 17 users marked this as a favorite
To be clear, our relationship is generally pretty loving and fantastic, but sometimes my insecurity makes me get in this horrible headspace that's really difficult to climb out of. I'm in therapy/on medication/in recovery and working really, really hard on this and know it's something I will continue to work on, but I want some kind of brain hack or some kind of trick I can do to talk me out of this when I start panicking/feeling self-destructive while I do the bigger work on the larger problems. Thank you so much!