Life is okay. Work, not so much.

October 20, 2005 4:45 AM

How important is job satisfaction toward overall fulfillment?

I spent the last five years employed where I was liked and respected and well-paid. I worked insanely long hours at a challenging job I loved. My spouse was and has always been supportive, even when I would come home late, dragging work with me. Then there was a shakeup in management, bizarre interoffice politics and finally a prolonged situation (through no fault of my own) that made me the company scapegoat, caused my peers treat me like an puppy-kicking baby-rapist, and finally eradicated my specialized position literally overnight.

The shock was horrible. I had no idea that being liked was so important to me, until I became a pariah whose intentions behind every move and word were scrutinized. I had enjoyed being the authority in my field. And my work accomplishments had filled me with a great sense of pride and self-worth. Fortunately, personal connections with those who had full grasp of the real situation had me employed elsewhere within a few days.

So for the past three months, I’ve been employed at a place where I’m liked and respected and overpaid. I take an actual lunch hour and leave at five every day, but while I don’t hate this job, I don’t love it; it’s far from challenging. However, this new concept of life outside work is almost novel. I can read books again. I spend time with friends, spend more time with my partner, and play with our dog a lot more. I can take time off now that I’m not so needed. I have the time to learn German and travel and enroll in courses I didn’t take while focusing on my major. I’ll never run out of things I want to do and learn. For the last three months, I’ve been considerably less stressed, but a little starved for mental stimulation during the eight hours out of my day that generates income.

I don’t know if now, while every other aspect of my life is ideal, I should be looking for another job. I acknowledge my fear of another huge change, but I want to know if it’s feasible to hope that I can be truly happy when I’m spending half my waking hours doing something I don’t really care about. As a nearly-40 adult, I do plenty that I have, if not want, to do. Is it realistic to think that anything I learn during this downtime should be for personal enrichment and not toward the goal of helping me get a better job or new career? Has any adult out there had a long-term, non-stimulating-but-not-soul-sucking-job that was viewed as just something that pays the mortgage, and found complete fulfillment and happiness pursuing other endeavors? Or will I always need to be a force in my career to feel complete? How long can an adult remain apathetic about a job without possibly sliding into a boredom-induced bitterness that might infect the other parts of his life?

posted by cdadog to work & money (25 comments total)

I'm surprised there have been no answers yet.

I have something of a similar situation to you. I used to have a job that was all consuming, in a way that I loved. I was well treated and respected and I worked very hard. In my case I ran into some personal problems and wasn't able to keep it up, and it was my *company* that felt a little betrayed. We parted ways and I moved on to a job that was OK but where I was a smaller cog in a larger piece of machinery. I discovered that there were some good things to not having an all consuming line of work.

And so, I've since willingly decided that *I* am not going to let myself enter jobs that are all consuming. I want work to be challenging, and I want to be resepected and all of that, but I want to be able to leave at a reasonable time, most of the time, and leave it at work. Sometimes this works better than others.

Whether or not you can do this and be happy is going to become apparent to you, I think. In my case, I filled my life with challenges that come from outside work. I'm a software developer, so I took on some large projects that interested me and put a lot of time into them -- when I felt like it. I developed some time consuming hobbies that I love, and I pour myself into those (photography, woodworking/woodturning, poker).

I sometimes fantasize about looking for another position where I can be everything to a company but it's a mild fantasy, somewhat like when I think maybe it would be "fun" to go back to college and get another degree.
posted by RustyBrooks at 5:35 AM on October 20, 2005

I can't compose an especially long post about this at the moment but I can recommend The Australia Institute website. They are a left leaning, Australian think tank which may in itself, for you, preclude consideration, but I feel they have a lot of worthy things to say about this and a number of other significant social issues.

Based on the empirical evidence and survey results they have gathered, they claim job satisfaction is an essential factor in having a sense of well-being and satisfaction. Bare in mind though that monetary compensation has no bearing on the satisfaction gained when viewed isolated from other considerations. (Pay compared to what others in your society get is another matter. It's important to not feel you're at the bottom in countries with huge income and wealth inequalities.)

They use data from a broad cross-section of societies but they can really only give a picture of what they claim is the most typical person. You may feel you're anything but typical (don't most people?) and that your values are satisfied in atypical ways but only you can know that. I will say that you sound like just the kind of person they're talking to though.

Good luck and I hope you find what you want.
posted by Jenga at 5:40 AM on October 20, 2005

Poop. I wish I could edit sometimes. It would be nice to sound like a native English speaker. Bare in mind...
posted by Jenga at 5:44 AM on October 20, 2005

I started to write a long pompous answer, then I trashed it. Basically, people are different -- if YOU feel that YOU need job satisfaction to be happy, then that's all that matters. You sound to me that you feel like something's missing.
posted by JanetLand at 5:50 AM on October 20, 2005

Has any adult out there had a long-term, non-stimulating-but-not-soul-sucking-job that was viewed as just something that pays the mortgage, and found complete fulfillment and happiness pursuing other endeavors?

Most of the population, yeah. Books, films, and the media all tend to reinforce the image of "work isn't important, life is" and "you work to live, not live to work". Most of the people I know, some now retired, never really were ecstatic about their jobs, but appreciated them, and simply used them to fuel their other interests.. families, vacations, etc. That's how it was for the majority for most of the 20th Century.

This isn't of much use to you, but I felt it was important to reassure you that, well, that's the way things are for millions of people, and they all got through it pretty well. I guess it all comes down to whether you find life more interesting and fulfilling than work, or not?
posted by wackybrit at 6:02 AM on October 20, 2005

It depends: do you want to live to work, or work to live? Either way is fine, as long as it's what you want. Your attitude will also change throughout life, due to changes in position, employer, and personal circumstance.

Even if it's been forced upon you to some degree by circumstance, as it appears to be in your case, it's a change - enjoy it, even if only for a while. You know the old saying "a change is as good as a holiday"? Often it's a platitude; but sometimes it's true.

As another near-40 adult, in a long-term job that has gone from interesting and satisfying to non-stimulating and soul-sucking, I'll say this: enjoy your life and your challenges, wherever that enjoyment comes from. Except in a few very (and, I'd say, driven/never satisfied) people, your life doesn't come from your job - it just provides either the monetary means or ?emotional? (I guess it is, in a way...) outlet to enjoy life.

(On preview: I'd disagee that job satisfaction, where "job" is defined as "what you're employed to do", is an essential factor. But you do need an essential factor, something to give you that satisfaction of a "job well done"...)
posted by Pinback at 6:10 AM on October 20, 2005

Oddly enough, today's QOTD for me is:

"Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else." - James M. Barrie

So if you'd rather be doing something else...
posted by furtive at 6:14 AM on October 20, 2005

i didn't comment because i'd like to know the answer too. similar story to rusty's - i negotiated a deal where i work 8 days a fortnight and then have 6 off, with the idea that it would give me more time for my own projects.

while the personal projects are interesting, i do miss feeling valued at work. on the other hand, i do not want that stress again.

in my case this is all mixed up with living in a foreign country/culture, which doesn't help.

so not sure what the answer is, but you're certainly not alone.
posted by andrew cooke at 6:14 AM on October 20, 2005

of course, it would be nice if one could find a job that was interesting, but not exhausting, and which left time for a "real life" that was also interesting. but it seems that for some people (me) unhealthy obsession seems to be something of a drug.

one option is to work for yourself. which is something that personal projects might build towards.
posted by andrew cooke at 6:16 AM on October 20, 2005

one more comment (sorry) - working for yourself would be exhausting too. but i'd rather kill myself for my own ideas/projects than someone else's stupid desires.
posted by andrew cooke at 6:27 AM on October 20, 2005

I never really experienced your previous work situation, but I did feel like I was a strong contributor, team player, and on the top of my game. I had satisfying personal friendships through work, but eventually left for more money as a contractor.

I've gone through several jobs and now find myself as an FTE in a job with decent pay, decent benefits, close to home, casual dress, flexible hours, and a hands-off manager. I'm no longer a very strong contributor or on the top of my game. At times I'm bored. I'm still on the fence about whether it's a "soul-sucking" job, even though I'm often depressed about my lack of satisfaction on the job.

I also wonder whether I should look for something else, or continue coasting along in this job. I've been here for over 4 years now, still generally coasting.

I haven't yet found the catalyst to move on to something else. Maybe you're in a similar situation and just need a catalyst.
posted by indigo4963 at 6:44 AM on October 20, 2005

It sounds like you have the confidence, trust and support of your current employer. It also sounds like you don't have enough to do. If you are creative, and they trust you, perhaps you could think about re-negotiating/redefining your present position, responsibilities, and goals, in ways that benefit both your employer and you. Write your own job description, as it were. If possible, try and talk with your managers regarding where your company's strategic planning is going, and where you might fit in in the future. Good luck!
posted by carter at 7:03 AM on October 20, 2005

Has any adult out there had a long-term, non-stimulating-but-not-soul-sucking-job that was viewed as just something that pays the mortgage, and found complete fulfillment and happiness pursuing other endeavors?

That's me. Eleven years with the same company. I come in at 8:30, I leave at 5:00, it takes me an hour to commute each way, half of which is on the train. My job has changed a bit but it's never been exactly cutting edge. I sat on the sidelines and watched the .com boom. I watched friends get into the coolest technology, make an assload of money, and then lose their jobs. Very few of them did anything else during that time.

Do I love it? Nope. It's rare that I leave work feeling like I accomplished anything worthwhile. I did some home improvement projects a couple of years ago and EVERY SINGLE DAY on that project I felt a million times more satisfaction than i do in a year working here. That does sound pretty sad.

But when I get home at 6:00 to my suburban home, my wife and kid are there. I don't have to share any work-related stress with them. I don't have to THINK about work until the next morning when I get there at 8:30. Weekends are mine, to spend with my family or doing whatever I want. Spending an hour with my son playing with his trains or pushing him on a swing are worth 40 hours of work.

The key is, while I don't love imy job, I don't hate it. It doesn't have a negative impact on my life.

I recently read "What Should I Do With My Life" by Po Bronson. Very good book, very inspiring. While I was reading it, reading about all these people who had managed to find satisfaction in life, I began thinking perhaps I needed more, perhaps what I was doing with my life wasn't what I wanted to do.

Work-wise that's probably true. I'm sure there are other jobs that would bring me more satisfaction. But what I realized is that it isn't my job that defines me. "What should I do with my life" has nothing to do with work. I'm doing what I want to do, I have an awesome wife and kid and we have a blast together. I have fun. I do stuff. If it takes 40 hours a week of coming here, dealing with stupid computer stuff that seems pointless, it's worth it. As long as it's no more than 40 hours, and as long as it doesn't interfere with my home life.

I can't STAND when someone asks "so, what do you do?" I don't want to talk about work anymore than I want to discuss cleaning the bathroom or the litter box. "What do you LIKE to do?" or "What fun things have you done?" are much better questions.

So it's up to you. Do you need job satisfaction to be happy? Then by all means go find another job. I don't need it, personally. There are far more important things in life and those are the things that make me happy.

Think of the free time you have now. There's probably a million things you can do that would give you the mental challenges you crave. Go do them. They're much more satisfying when you do them by choice, not because you have to.
posted by bondcliff at 7:11 AM on October 20, 2005

I'm on the other side of 40; As a musician and artist, I have never had a paying job I loved, or that was the central purpose of my life -- every one has been a "day job" to support my obsessive need to define the world through my own vision. The quality of these jobs has increased as time has passed - I'm now a college instructor and part-time programming consultant -- but they're not how I define myself. My job isn't joyless, but just something that has to be done, like mowing the lawn or washing the dishes.

But if I wasn't making progressand deriving a great deal of satisfaction in music and art, it would probably be unbearable.
posted by chocolatepeanutbuttercup at 7:14 AM on October 20, 2005

I can only say that I have been in the boring jobs (not soul-sucking, just boring) and it can eventually be a real downer. Lots of good advice above, especially looking at your present job for more challenges. But I think you have not recovered from the horror of the sudden shift from being fully challenged and energised in your workplace to being the outcast. There must be a lot of anger, grief, and feelings of injustice that you need to work through which may be confusing the current situation. Is there any way of dealing with these at the same time you try to "stretch" the job you're in? Good luck
posted by Wilder at 7:22 AM on October 20, 2005

I'd have to agree with bondcliff's comments. I like my job, but I don't love it. I'm reasonably stimulated by my work, I like my co-workers, feel that my efforts are appreciated and am well-compensated in terms of salary and benefits.

However, perhaps the best thing about my job is that I almost never have to stay late, generally get to take a full lunch break and when I leave at the end of the day I don't bring my work home with me (either psychologically or physically).

This leaves me with lots of time and energy for the important parts of my life, like spending time with my husband, step-daughter, family and friends, pursuing hobbies, loafing around and cutting my toenails.

I really can't imagine what job I could do that would make me feel that trading away the above things was worthwhile (YMMV of course).

However, if you're feeling twitchy at your current job a solution could be to see what extra projects you could take on within the context of your current position.

Maybe there's an office charitiable campaign that you could run? A co-op student to mentor? New employees that could use a tour and some orientation? A social club to run? Lunchtime discussion groups to organize?
posted by melimelo at 7:51 AM on October 20, 2005

A job that is just "boring" isn't necessarily "soul-sucking." Soul-sucking, from my point of view, is defined by more than boredom -- bad management, out of control and undisciplined coworkers, working conditions that make you want to quit on the spot. Management is so important in making a job that is shitty good, or a job that is good, shitty. If you have a good manager that doesn't make you want to break things, take heart. Things have potential if you've got good management.

This may sound pompous, but you get to choose what you pay attention to and how you construct meaning from your experiences. You can choose to experience this in a positive way, as bondcliff says, or you can choose to experience it negatively. But I guarantee you, you will probably never look back at now when you're 80 and think you should have been spending more time at work. I've got a good 8 to 5 that pays the bills. I go home at night and cuddle with my husband and cats, we do basically what we want, we're happy. That's worth a lot, particularly in comparison with say, my high-powered executive brother-in-law who's essentially missed the entirety of his kids' lives.
posted by Medieval Maven at 8:07 AM on October 20, 2005

Has any adult out there had a long-term, non-stimulating-but-not-soul-sucking-job that was viewed as just something that pays the mortgage, and found complete fulfillment and happiness pursuing other endeavors

I had a well-paying job that was somewhere between that and the one that you left. I fely unappreciated and like "part of the problem" even though I thougth what i was doing was not only important it was exactly what I had been asked to do. It ended [grant-funded] and I traded it for a job where every day is completely satisfying and my employer adores me. However, it doesn't pay enough to truly pay the bills. It's a different situation sort of, but I had an amazing summer [both at work and NOT at work], I don't come home angry, I have enough free cycles in my routine that I can do things like exercise and read and whatnot. However, the trade-off is that I have to scramble for cash sometimes, make choices based on money often, and since it's another grant-funded job, realize that this won't last.

As far as your nagging feeling that you need career satisfaction to feel complete, I sympathize. I don't know your gender, but in my relationships I've noticed that feeling in guys I've dated. Excelling in the relationship, or in the workshop at home, or in civic groups just doesn't give the same kind of return to them that a job does. I don't understand it myself on an emotional level, but I've seen it enough to know that it's important and it's real. My Dad was a work achiever and received some recognition in his field that people will occasionally mention to me. I'm proud of what he got done at work, but he wasn't a particularly good father or husband, and he didn't measure achievement for himself personally by being either of those things. I think that's too bad, but I don't think he does, so as others have said, it's all about choices. I think melimelo's suggestions about finding things that you can inject into work to make it more useful and fulfilling to you is definitely a good first step.
posted by jessamyn at 8:24 AM on October 20, 2005

You spend a good portion of your life at work. For me, nothing in the remaining hours can make up for being unhappy at work, and boredom-induced bitterness is definitely a real factor. So if I were in your position, I would either consider ways to make this more satisfying or to find a different position. For you, can things squeezed into evenings and weekends, wrapped around other personal obligations, make up for feeling unfulfilled forty hours a week?
posted by dame at 8:46 AM on October 20, 2005

What you need is what you need and nobody knows but you. Some people are okay with some amount of suffering at the job that provides them money to do other things. Others feel like they spend 1/4 of their year at a job, it needs to be gratifying in and of itself.

The question is, which are you? Because maybe you're actually okay with just working to make coin, but that last overwhelming gig just got you caught up in it. Can you be happy with what you're in now? Because honestly, I think the odds are that "not painful" is how the majority of jobs are described and being actively gratified is the exception. You should know now which camp you need to be in.

The one thing I would add is this: you've been there three months. Hiring new people and turnover are expensive for a company. If they've done right by you, you should consider doing right by them and sticking it out at least a year. I don't believe in the age of layoffs any of us owe "loyalty" to a company - it's a business transaction for both employee and employer - but I do believe in fairness.
posted by phearlez at 8:58 AM on October 20, 2005

I think job satisfaction is just a small part of overall fulfillment. You need to find yourself happy no matter what job situation you're in.

If you don't like your job, you need to change it. And that doesn't necessarily mean finding a new job. That might mean taking the initiative to change things in your workplace that you can better even if only you know about it.
posted by CrazyJoel at 11:14 AM on October 20, 2005

don't forget that you may be in a mood where any job is unpleasant. if you left mentally exhausted, you might need a lot of time to recover. in which case changing might make no difference (and indeed be a bad move).
posted by andrew cooke at 11:40 AM on October 20, 2005

Most people don't know why or don't like their jobs. They don't self assess if they want to stay in it. There is a golden triangle (that people like to ignore). Good, fast, cheap, pick two.

Similarly,
You'll stay at a job because:
Pay
People
Freedom/creativity.

One of the three = mediocrity (and many people will stay far too long).
Two out of the three= the job is okay, day to day. Occasional bad days.
Three out of the three = long term happiness at work.
posted by filmgeek at 12:19 PM on October 20, 2005

You should join our support group for disgruntled office workers. We meet down at the bar...
posted by ph00dz at 1:12 PM on October 20, 2005

Is it naive to think you could just change your job from within the company? Maybe ask your boss for to put you on some more challenging, creative project when one comes around? Maybe propose your own?
posted by Hildago at 4:39 PM on October 20, 2005