Not Negging, But...
December 27, 2013 2:17 PM Subscribe
I was approached at a bar by a man who tried a very unusual line on me--one that I've heard before. Is this a common tactic in his world?
posted by therewolf to Society & Culture (9 answers total) 29 users marked this as a favorite
I was stopped by a man on my way out of the bar last night. He skidded around me and said, "Excuse me, this is a weird question but are you into horses?" When I replied in the negative, he went on, "Because it's OK if you are. I knew a girl when I was younger and she was obsessed with horses. She drew them, she wore sweaters with them, that's all she talked about. She looked exactly like you and I used to make fun of her all the time. So I understand if you're too embarrassed to admit that was you, but if it was, I just want to apologize for the way I treated you then."
Under different circumstances (stranger making strange conversation) I might have responded truthfully--no, that certainly wasn't me, and you are mistaken. Sorry. But I realized about halfway through his spiel that I was fed almost the exact same story when I was in college. Walking through campus one day, a man stopped me and started babbling on about how I looked just like a girl he used to tease in grade school for some forgotten reason, and he was so sorry about that, and no I'm pretty sure you're her, it's ok that you don't want to admit it. It was so eerily similar that I briefly wondered if it was in fact the same person pulling the same move on me, but I got to speculating instead that this is some common PUA trick. When I figured out what was going on I exited the situation (walked around him and kept going) but he followed me and my friend outside. He was joined by another guy, both trying to talk to us still. I loudly told them not to follow us, which did work, but ugh.
I wouldn't be surprised if the tactic was a PUA cliche (present female with made-up history, belittle her for imagined hobby or trait, magnanimously beg forgiveness and seek "reacquaintance"), but the fact that the stories were almost identical made me wonder if there was a source for it. I was unable to unearth anything from Googling. Also, related? Before he approached me we were stopped by some other guy who asked us if we knew where they were handing out free cotton candy (we were in a hotel with several different bars attached). I figured this was some dumb conversational in so I ignored him, but my friend engaged and gamely replied that she didn't know ("Oh, that's too bad. Hey where are you guys headed?"). When Horse Guy came outside with us Cotton Candy Guy came up to him and said, "I see you've met my friend") so I wouldn't be surprised if we were caught in some game of theirs, but I am also curious if there was something to that other tactic. Are these "classic" pickup examples? Normally I would chalk these up to some unpleasant encounters but I was so surprised by the coincidence of the Horse Guy that I wanted to find out more. Oh and don't be fooled, I was thoroughly unsettled and nervous about having to verbally defend myself against these guys.