I feel like I never stood a chance

November 28, 2013 9:21 PM

I’ve been in love with the same man since I was 21. I am now 25, and he is 33. He’s someone I had very strong feelings for, and lost my virginity to him a few years back. We always cared for each other and there was mutual attraction, but he always said he never had a serious relationship, and never wanted one. He did, however, show some resentment when I had a boyfriend for a few months last year. Anyway, he recently got serious with someone, and it’s killing me. He tells me it has nothing to do with me, that they just have what makes them a better match, and it’s more to do with factors such as life stages and age difference. Not only that, but this woman is very, very beautiful: tall, slender, with long brunette hair. And she has her life together, with a job and an apartment. I’m somewhat attractive, but not as beautiful as her. And I’m still finishing my thesis for a Master’s in English, and work at the YMCA at a very unfulfilling childcare job. (I’m looking for something better, but it’s a long process). My job is only part-time, so I live with my parents. I don’t know how I’m supposed to be okay, knowing that not only did he pick someone else, but he picked someone better than me, and now she is getting everything I could never have. I feel absolutely terrible, and my heart is in pieces. While they were on a break over the summer, he invited me over to his place one night, but then went back to her soon after. It’s even harder now, because she’s meeting his family over the holidays, and they’re getting really serious. I was just someone he hung out with casually, but with her, it’s a lot more than that: spending time with each others’ families, going on dates, vacations, etc. The whole situation is breaking my heart, and I don’t know what to do. I am so hurt. How can I feel better?
posted by summertimesadness1988 to Human Relations