How can I become more assertive and avoid being an easy target?
October 8, 2013 6:37 PM Subscribe
I feel that I am generally somebody who ends up being taken advantage of. What can I change about myself to avoid this?
posted by gemutlichkeit to human relations (7 answers total) 13 users marked this as a favorite
When/if I come across somebody who already has bullying, manipulative, predatory tendencies or has the intention of using somebody, I tend to become their target. I don't know if it is a combination of my stature, ethnicity, introverted and non-confrontational personality, my tendency to be accommodating, or perhaps my general openness about myself and my weaknesses/strengths, but somehow I end up being taken advantage of, or people treat me worse because they know I'm not the kind of person who would fight back or vehemently stand up for herself. (My post history may provide an idea of the kind of person I am and the situations I have dealt with.)
There is a difference between somebody who is an automatic target of bullying (which, I am not), somebody who is generally disliked/unpopular (I also know this is not the case for me), and my situation. To be clear, I am personable, humble, hardworking, considerate, reasonable, and have lots of longstanding, deep and meaningful relationships; my peers respect me and like me. I just can't put my finger on what it is that makes others sense that I am somebody who could be manipulated or walked over. What is it, and how can I work to change this?