What else can a couple ask each other?

August 8, 2007 11:59 AM

My girlfriend and I need questions and inspiration for our bedtime question game before it dies of creative block.

We have an evening ritual of asking each other questions in turn until we really aught to sleep. They range from "What's your least favorite root vegetable?" to "If you could change one aspect of reality what would you change?" to "Which pet peeve of yours would you like to not be bothered by?" Each question is then followed by a "why?" and then usually discussion. The purpose of this bedtime ritual is to continue the exploration of each other's mind beyond the initial stages of a relationship.

But we've hit a question drought and are short on ideas. So, I seek the creativity, and wisdom of the AskMe masses.

We need good questions and inspiration for more questions.

posted by TwelveTwo to Human Relations (20 answers total)

The Book of Questions.

1000 Questions for Couples.
posted by ottereroticist at 12:11 PM on August 8, 2007

I can think of a website that amounts to a list of user-submitted questions. Some won't apply to your specific purpose, but many will surely spawn lengthy discussions.
posted by grateful at 12:19 PM on August 8, 2007 [7 favorites]

I like to play the which would you rather game, you give two options (I usually go with unpleasant and completely unlikely situations) and the person answering picks one and explains why. This doesn't really answer your question but it is perhaps another variation you might have more ideas for.
posted by estronaut at 12:21 PM on August 8, 2007

Or how about this book?

If you're looking for things to do, my favorite is the "word" game. I made it up. I say a word, like "rope". The next person would then say "rope swing." Back to you - you would need to find a fitting word that goes with "swing." If you can't think of one, then you can challenge the other player (by saying "challenge") and they then have to come up with a word that goes with "swing." If they can't then you win. If they can, then you lose. See how long you can keep a chain going.
posted by Sassyfras at 12:28 PM on August 8, 2007

I 2nd TMCW... the question game kinda dies a natural death after a while... But to get to your question, how bout:

Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man?

Or maybe you should just check out these inspirational questions. And then Google "inspirational questions" and read them

Good luck:)
posted by CAnneDC at 12:29 PM on August 8, 2007

Lately, I've been really enjoying the greater connection I've been making by being REALLY honest with my partner...and spending a bit more time thinking about what makes me happy and/or weirded out...So, in that spirit:
"What thing about yourself are you the most embarassed by?"
"Name one specific thing you like/love about me, that I don't already know about."
"What is the accomplishment you're most proud of?"
"What is one thing we NEED to do together before we check out?"

...not sure if those are too real/weird/etc, but I personally find discussing that type of stuff to be as rewarding as it is difficult to open up about.
posted by Ziggurat at 12:37 PM on August 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

If you run out of pre-written "questions" for each other, watching the evening news together before you retire to bed each night, or reading a newspaper in bed together, can provide plenty of interesting "what do you think about that?" sort of conversation.
posted by modernnomad at 12:47 PM on August 8, 2007

You could each talk about something you witnessed or a decision you made that day and ask, "What would you have done? Why?"

Or get zany with it and ask, "What would Lindsay Lohan have done? What would your mom have done? What would Jesus have done?" etc.

modernnomad's suggestion is good too, since you never run out of fodder that way.
posted by ml98tu at 12:54 PM on August 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

When you make a sandwich, do you cut it in half first before eating? If so, do you cut it north-south, east-west, or diagonally?

If your 10-year-old child killed a playmate in anger, and no one else knew about it but you, would you go to the police?

If you could bring Gallileo back from the dead for one day, where would you take him? What would you show him?

Given the choice of being able to eat/drink whatever you wanted to and maintain a svelte figure for the rest of your life or being hired for your absolute dream job, which one would you choose?
posted by Oriole Adams at 1:01 PM on August 8, 2007

But we've hit a question drought and are short on ideas.

What's the biggest my butt could get that it wouldn't bother you?

What if I were the woman and you were the man, how would our relationship differ?

If the leaders of state had to personally fight each other in place of war, who would have hit the other harder, Bush or Saddam?

Why are there twentysix letters in English and why is A first?

When would you not question authority?

How long could you go without sex in this relationship?

What are the words equivalent to "and" in other languages?

Who are you going to be in a year?

What if I became really short overnight, like a midget, what would you do?

Can I get on top of you?

( if previous answer was no)

Do you have any other ideas for sex tonight?

(If previous answer was yes)
What do you think of the ideas in the movie Secretary?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:04 PM on August 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

Hehe Sassyfras, I think we may have come up with a similar game.

Works the same but you have to go back at least two levels, ie "rope", "swing", then I dunno, "tire" or perhaps "splash" implying a leap into a lake or something. Next person has to use at least the previous two words. Bonus for using more than two words or a dramatic change of focus, like "mirror" becoming "vanity" which could be an object or a state of mind, etc.

Game details aside, I've had a few really interesting bouts of this with previous bedtime companions. Not only can you learn quite a bit about the thought processes of the person in question, but if you get into the spirit of the game, it gets pretty hard to choose the proper word and all that leads to sleepy contemplation and a poke in the ribs the next morning with something like "a fish".

Which sets you up for the next night.
posted by elendil71 at 1:07 PM on August 8, 2007

You can use AskMe for this...
• What code word/expression would work for a kid who wanted to cue you to forbid him to do something?
• What meals can be pre-frozen raw and then later cooked?
• Is "between" generally understood to be inclusive or exclusive?
posted by xo at 1:25 PM on August 8, 2007

Table Topics? We have a set that we pull out after dinner parties sometimes - they're fun.
posted by ersatzkat at 2:27 PM on August 8, 2007

If forced to have a roommate against one's will would you rather have a quiet 'stays in his room' pedophile or a loud and armed drug-dealer with people coming in at all hours buying drugs?

If put into prison and forced to have sex with your cell mate, would you rather receive it in the rear or give him oral pleasure?

Would you rather be slightly to moderately retarted and look handsome/pretty or look like you have down's syndrome but still be as smart as you are today?
posted by damn dirty ape at 2:55 PM on August 8, 2007

A bit off topic, but have you thought of saving these intellectual-type questions for discussion over breakfast, and concentrating more on sexy questions at bedtime?
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:15 PM on August 8, 2007

I know a family of four (they have a boy child and a girl child) who are adamant about eating dinner together every night. I find this pretty remarkable in the 21st century, but I also love their dinner-time ritual.

During the meal, they go around the table and each person has to say what the best part of their day was, and what the worst part of their day was. When we've had dinner with them we've been invited to participate as well.

Once, when the little boy (about 10) was recounting his "worst part" he actually started crying in front of us. It's fascinating to me that this couple is fostering a tradition that allows their children to feel comfortable talking so openly about their emotions and events that might be embarrassing to them.

My husband and I always play this game when we're on our way home from a vacation, but it never occurred to me to play it every day. Perhaps you can use this game yourself before bedtime to foster conversation.
posted by Brittanie at 6:30 PM on August 8, 2007 [12 favorites]

When I was younger my father used to ask me the following things each night:

• What was your favorite part of the day?
• What did you learn today?
• What did you do for someone else today?

posted by phrontist at 7:16 AM on August 9, 2007 [7 favorites]

I have enjoyed using some of the questions from this book:
4,000 Questions for Getting to Know Anyone and Everyone
posted by scottso17 at 8:32 AM on August 9, 2007

Here's a question that I ask people on a semi-regular basis, beacuse I think people's answers (especially the very first thing they come up with) are very telling. I have no idea why this question works this way.

"How would the world be different if werewolves were real?"

I think i've mentioned this question on metafilter before. I have no idea whatsoever what the context would have been.
posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 11:01 AM on August 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

Here is where I mentioned it before.
I'm posting it because it's right in the middle of a thread that you would probably find helpful.
posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 11:09 AM on August 9, 2007