Can a skittish cat ever share his home with a dog?
August 28, 2013 3:24 PM Subscribe
I have a scaredy-cat. He runs away from anything loud and/or fast. He is barely older than 3, and hopefully he'll live for a long time. Can I ever hope to get a dog while he's around?
My cat is a cuddly, loving ball of fluff who is also terrified of most things. Lately, his two big fears are a yellow foam ball and some jangling bracelets. I once boarded him at a cattery, where he spent the entire week cowering in a corner. One time my boyfriend brought over a life-sized stuffed dog; he sniffed the dog's butt and then refused to go near it for days, even though it will still and silent and smelled like an inanimate object.
He has had some traumas (involving loud noises and accidents) in his short past that have made him a bit skittish, and he doesn't seem to be getting any braver. He has spent some time around other cats, but has lived cat-free for 2.5 of his 3.25 years. He also has a case of feline hyperesthesia, though he's fine on meds. Finally, he's a one-person cat. He wants to cuddle and play with me all the time, but he merely tolerates my boyfriend.
So, given all these quirks and behaviors, is there any chance he'll be able to live with a dog? I'd like to have multiple animals, and the boyfriend has a cat allergy, so I am not getting another feline friend. Does anyone have any experience introducing a dog to a scaredy-cat?
My cat is a cuddly, loving ball of fluff who is also terrified of most things. Lately, his two big fears are a yellow foam ball and some jangling bracelets. I once boarded him at a cattery, where he spent the entire week cowering in a corner. One time my boyfriend brought over a life-sized stuffed dog; he sniffed the dog's butt and then refused to go near it for days, even though it will still and silent and smelled like an inanimate object.
He has had some traumas (involving loud noises and accidents) in his short past that have made him a bit skittish, and he doesn't seem to be getting any braver. He has spent some time around other cats, but has lived cat-free for 2.5 of his 3.25 years. He also has a case of feline hyperesthesia, though he's fine on meds. Finally, he's a one-person cat. He wants to cuddle and play with me all the time, but he merely tolerates my boyfriend.
So, given all these quirks and behaviors, is there any chance he'll be able to live with a dog? I'd like to have multiple animals, and the boyfriend has a cat allergy, so I am not getting another feline friend. Does anyone have any experience introducing a dog to a scaredy-cat?
(P.S. My guy even looks the same, but with long hair. He's about 18lbs now!)
posted by catatethebird at 3:47 PM on August 28, 2013
posted by catatethebird at 3:47 PM on August 28, 2013
I used to have a cat named 'Yikes' - she was afraid of pretty much everything all the time. However! when I moved back home (when she was around 2.5 yrs), she struck up a friendship with my Dads dog, and stuck to Terra like glue. Terra was a pretty low-key English Shepherd, and she evidently thought Yikes was her personal project. I don't know if you would have the same luck, but I do know it's possible...
posted by PlantGoddess at 3:51 PM on August 28, 2013
posted by PlantGoddess at 3:51 PM on August 28, 2013
Maybe a little kitty-prozac to smooth the road? I'm not joking.
My limited knowledge of cat behavior says that if they are just snapping at each other, give it some time. If the cat starts marking, you've got bigger troubles that will need some intervention.
posted by gjc at 3:56 PM on August 28, 2013
My limited knowledge of cat behavior says that if they are just snapping at each other, give it some time. If the cat starts marking, you've got bigger troubles that will need some intervention.
posted by gjc at 3:56 PM on August 28, 2013
You've probably done the usual stuff to try to mellow him out, like Feliway, regular play, and playing the radio softly all day when you're gone (so he doesn't get freaky from the silence), but just in case -- it's worth some research.
I really think that a big, slow-moving, motherly dog could do him a world of good. I have a foster cat now who will, suddenly, decide that my left hand is a terrible threat, and who utterly freaks out at kittens and feels they all must be beat into the ground (and hides from them), but she really, really likes dogs. Maybe the fact that they are larger than she is, and their style of movement is more human-like than cat-like, makes them seem like less of a threat for some reason.
Maybe no puppies, sorry.
However, do a lot of research on how to introduce new pets to old pets, and try to do everything right.
One more thing: there are two main calming pheromones for cats on the market now. One mimics the pheromone of cats rubbing the sides of their heads on things, and the other mimics the calming pheromone of mother cats. Feliway is the "side-of-the-head" pheromone. I think it's what you want.
If you try the other one -- follow the instructions closely.
posted by amtho at 4:20 PM on August 28, 2013
I really think that a big, slow-moving, motherly dog could do him a world of good. I have a foster cat now who will, suddenly, decide that my left hand is a terrible threat, and who utterly freaks out at kittens and feels they all must be beat into the ground (and hides from them), but she really, really likes dogs. Maybe the fact that they are larger than she is, and their style of movement is more human-like than cat-like, makes them seem like less of a threat for some reason.
Maybe no puppies, sorry.
However, do a lot of research on how to introduce new pets to old pets, and try to do everything right.
One more thing: there are two main calming pheromones for cats on the market now. One mimics the pheromone of cats rubbing the sides of their heads on things, and the other mimics the calming pheromone of mother cats. Feliway is the "side-of-the-head" pheromone. I think it's what you want.
If you try the other one -- follow the instructions closely.
posted by amtho at 4:20 PM on August 28, 2013
You know, I love, love, love dogs but I'm not sure if I owned your cat that I would get a dog. Because at least up front, this will be very tough on your cat.
IF you get a dog, you really need to be sure it has NO interest in chasing or harassing cats. You'd be surprised how many otherwise mellow dogs love pursuing a fleeing kitty butt, and that is the height of home trauma for a cat.
For intros, you need to go very slow, with dog and cat in different rooms for quite awhile getting used to each other's smell, and many rewards to your kitty when the dog finally is introduced (in small daily increments) in person.
posted by bearwife at 4:31 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
IF you get a dog, you really need to be sure it has NO interest in chasing or harassing cats. You'd be surprised how many otherwise mellow dogs love pursuing a fleeing kitty butt, and that is the height of home trauma for a cat.
For intros, you need to go very slow, with dog and cat in different rooms for quite awhile getting used to each other's smell, and many rewards to your kitty when the dog finally is introduced (in small daily increments) in person.
posted by bearwife at 4:31 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
You basically just described my cat. My experience here is introducing her into a home with a dog, not the other way around.
There was no initial freak out outside the usual cat in a new place freak out. It probably helps a lot that the dog was (and is) completely disinterested in her.
It all depends on the dog. If you can get one that doesn't care about your cat, won't chase him, and won't get upset when the cat goes exploring or attempts to groom it, you'll probably be fine.
You should definitely have a backup plan for rehoming the dog if it all goes south.
posted by billybunny at 4:40 PM on August 28, 2013
There was no initial freak out outside the usual cat in a new place freak out. It probably helps a lot that the dog was (and is) completely disinterested in her.
It all depends on the dog. If you can get one that doesn't care about your cat, won't chase him, and won't get upset when the cat goes exploring or attempts to groom it, you'll probably be fine.
You should definitely have a backup plan for rehoming the dog if it all goes south.
posted by billybunny at 4:40 PM on August 28, 2013
He runs away from anything loud and/or fast.
Obviously, you need a quiet, slow dog.
I'm seriously not being a smartarse. A low-key older dog that has been cat-tested and recommended by the pound as being easy-going is the dog you want to introduce to your home. Confirm the dog is cat proof by asking to see it interact with cats in the intro-rooms at your local adoption center. Every place I've adopted at, they have no problem with showing how the dog interacts with cats. Ideally, you would be able to find a smaller dog, but better to have a medium sized dog that is waaay chill. Smaller dogs as a rule tend to be hyperactive and yappy.
Try the dog, and be up front with the adoption center that it may not work out and you will have to return it. If they're like my local shelters, they will not refund your money, but hey, kitten!
posted by BlueHorse at 5:36 PM on August 28, 2013
Obviously, you need a quiet, slow dog.
I'm seriously not being a smartarse. A low-key older dog that has been cat-tested and recommended by the pound as being easy-going is the dog you want to introduce to your home. Confirm the dog is cat proof by asking to see it interact with cats in the intro-rooms at your local adoption center. Every place I've adopted at, they have no problem with showing how the dog interacts with cats. Ideally, you would be able to find a smaller dog, but better to have a medium sized dog that is waaay chill. Smaller dogs as a rule tend to be hyperactive and yappy.
Try the dog, and be up front with the adoption center that it may not work out and you will have to return it. If they're like my local shelters, they will not refund your money, but hey, kitten!
posted by BlueHorse at 5:36 PM on August 28, 2013
Definitely. Just make sure you choose a dog who has no interest in cats. One of many great reasons to adopt - their temperaments are known!
posted by srrh at 5:57 PM on August 28, 2013
posted by srrh at 5:57 PM on August 28, 2013
The issue isn't the cat, as mentioned, make sure the dog accepts the cat. I have a cat that took 5 years to get used to the dog, they've worked it out.
posted by HuronBob at 6:50 PM on August 28, 2013
posted by HuronBob at 6:50 PM on August 28, 2013
Excellent advice above, and I would add to it - you should also be wary of dog breeds with strong herding instincts as well. While a Border Collie / BC cross could be totally fine and chill (depending on the individual in question), they are also pretty well known for their tendency to want to "herd" all the household residents, and especially cats (it's a strongly inbred trait). This would probably be pretty stressful for your cat.
Work with shelters and be sure you know that if it doesn't work out, you can return the dog as BlueHorse noted.
I will add that our shy scaredy-cat has gotten much more sociable and confident with the addition of another (very gregarious) cat to our household. And despite being a scaredy-cat, he also really seems to enjoy having (chill) dogs in the house, too, even though he is (rightfully) terrified of our Stupid NeighborTM and his Stupid Japanese Fighting DogTM that is dog-and-cat-aggressive with a high prey drive, which he CONSTANTLY allows to roam around our block off-lead, and on whom I've threatened to call Animal Services), but that's a whole other story.
All of which to say that most cats are pretty smart and if you find the right dog, your cat may surprise you yet!
posted by lonefrontranger at 8:29 AM on August 29, 2013
Work with shelters and be sure you know that if it doesn't work out, you can return the dog as BlueHorse noted.
I will add that our shy scaredy-cat has gotten much more sociable and confident with the addition of another (very gregarious) cat to our household. And despite being a scaredy-cat, he also really seems to enjoy having (chill) dogs in the house, too, even though he is (rightfully) terrified of our Stupid NeighborTM and his Stupid Japanese Fighting DogTM that is dog-and-cat-aggressive with a high prey drive, which he CONSTANTLY allows to roam around our block off-lead, and on whom I've threatened to call Animal Services), but that's a whole other story.
All of which to say that most cats are pretty smart and if you find the right dog, your cat may surprise you yet!
posted by lonefrontranger at 8:29 AM on August 29, 2013
zomg what a cutie. black cats are THE BEST CATS.
I have a confident cat, a scaredy cat, and one lazy old dog. Scaredy cat and lazy dog have always completely ignored each other. We had a more active dog (she passed away last year), but she quickly learned that Confident Cat was more fun to play with than Scaredy Cat.
I would absolutely supervise them for a good long time before they're left alone in the same area. Dog is very likely to get smacked on the nose by Cat if he backs him into a corner. Dog noses bleed insanely. Make sure Cat has lots of hiding places from Dog. Let cat see you pet dog calmly so he knows dog is not a threat. Don't show any anxiety about the situation; both dog and cat will pick up on that pronto and mirror it. Be patient; it may take months for Cat to feel secure.
Anyway, I totally think it's possible to peacefully coexist if you get an older dog from a mellow breed. No little yappy dogs. Make sure the dog is well exercised so it's not bouncing off the walls at home.
posted by desjardins at 10:28 AM on August 29, 2013
I have a confident cat, a scaredy cat, and one lazy old dog. Scaredy cat and lazy dog have always completely ignored each other. We had a more active dog (she passed away last year), but she quickly learned that Confident Cat was more fun to play with than Scaredy Cat.
I would absolutely supervise them for a good long time before they're left alone in the same area. Dog is very likely to get smacked on the nose by Cat if he backs him into a corner. Dog noses bleed insanely. Make sure Cat has lots of hiding places from Dog. Let cat see you pet dog calmly so he knows dog is not a threat. Don't show any anxiety about the situation; both dog and cat will pick up on that pronto and mirror it. Be patient; it may take months for Cat to feel secure.
Anyway, I totally think it's possible to peacefully coexist if you get an older dog from a mellow breed. No little yappy dogs. Make sure the dog is well exercised so it's not bouncing off the walls at home.
posted by desjardins at 10:28 AM on August 29, 2013
This thread is closed to new comments.
I never thought they'd get this far. I thought they might eventually just mostly ignore each other. Cats need plenty of time to adjust to new situations, but they usually turn out to be far more adaptable than we expect. Just remembering will probably take a few MONTHS, not days or weeks. I didn't do anything specialty foster my cat and dog's relationship, just made sure they were continually exposed to each other to become desensitized. You won't get anywhere if they are always in separate rooms and rarely see each other. You can do the whole slow, separate rooms introduction thing, but eventually they need to be in close quarters for a lot of the time. Just supervise for safety until you are familiar with their interactions. (For example, I worried about the cat scratching the dog's eye, so I let them get in each others's faces, but was ready to intervene at the first sign of face-swatting, or snapping from the dog.)
posted by catatethebird at 3:45 PM on August 28, 2013