My insecurity devours my relationships

August 16, 2013 9:55 PM

I am in an exciting, loving, romantic, solid partnership with a wonderful man. He loves and admires me, challenges me and gives me affection and support. Most people would describe me as fairly condident and well adjusted, if a bit anxious. But I have a very poisonous deep seated belief that everyone--especially romantic partners--will eventually leave me. I am beginning to let this insecurity pop up if he seems slightly distracted, or tired. He's patient but it's exhausting for us both. How do I confront this core belief and reframe my story of how this and any relationship is going to go?

If it's helpful context, Im 27. my parents were married for a long time without being in love, or even liking each other before they separated. My father had a lot of disgust toward my mom and sometimes I feel like I am secretly her. I have had other serious relationships, one in which I actually was shocked by the ending, though I know plenty of people have experienced tough break ups.

I want to really love myself and believe that I am capable of having a long
And successful relationship in which my partner is present as wants to be with me. I recognize that this relationship might end, but I don't want to wear it into the ground with unfounded unsecurities that eventually end up driving someone away.

Any advice on how people have been able to create more positive belief systems or overcome poisonous core beliefs is very much welcomed. Also anything else that folks think could be helpful.

posted by sb3 to Human Relations