How can I find out for sure whether or not someone died?
August 8, 2013 11:14 AM Subscribe
How can I find an official record of someone's death to confirm that they did in fact die? Googling for his obituary turns up very little information, and his local newspaper has very spotty online archives that don't include the year of his death.
My mother's second husband was an awful, abusive man, and even though we'd left him years before, we were both very relieved when we heard he'd passed away in the mid-1990s. For some reason I got it in my head to look for his obituary recently, and was a little freaked out that I couldn't find it. I did find a reference on one of the find-a-grave sites to the grave of someone with a similar name--he was John Winstead Smith, the reference I found was to John Winston Smith*--who died around the same time, but couldn't find an obituary or any other details to determine whether or not it was the same man. I live on the other side of the country, so can't drop by the county clerk's office or hit up my local library for a microfiche session. So how can I find an obituary or official death record? I feel like this should be much easier than it's proving to be!
(And please don't advise me to just let this go, my mother still lives in the same county and if he's still alive that's information at least one of us needs to have.)
*Not his actual name, of course.
My mother's second husband was an awful, abusive man, and even though we'd left him years before, we were both very relieved when we heard he'd passed away in the mid-1990s. For some reason I got it in my head to look for his obituary recently, and was a little freaked out that I couldn't find it. I did find a reference on one of the find-a-grave sites to the grave of someone with a similar name--he was John Winstead Smith, the reference I found was to John Winston Smith*--who died around the same time, but couldn't find an obituary or any other details to determine whether or not it was the same man. I live on the other side of the country, so can't drop by the county clerk's office or hit up my local library for a microfiche session. So how can I find an obituary or official death record? I feel like this should be much easier than it's proving to be!
(And please don't advise me to just let this go, my mother still lives in the same county and if he's still alive that's information at least one of us needs to have.)
*Not his actual name, of course.
Best answer: The Social Security Master Death File?
posted by Admiral Haddock at 11:18 AM on August 8, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by Admiral Haddock at 11:18 AM on August 8, 2013 [3 favorites]
Best answer: Is the presumed decedent from America? If so, you can use the Social Security Death Index to find more information. You can search for free at a number of places; Ancestry.com is a good place to start.
posted by divined by radio at 11:18 AM on August 8, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by divined by radio at 11:18 AM on August 8, 2013 [2 favorites]
Best answer: Your state's vital statistics office would be able to assist. Most states will issue a death certificate to anyone so long as you do not inquire into the cause of death.
posted by Tanizaki at 11:19 AM on August 8, 2013
posted by Tanizaki at 11:19 AM on August 8, 2013
Note that not everyone has an obituary in the paper -- I'd wager a guess that most people don't. It's not something that my family has a tradition of, and, well, there would have to be someone who cared enough to write it and pay for it for one to happen, which isn't always the case. You definitely want to look for official records like some of the ones listed above, instead of a possible wild goose chase into obituaries.
posted by brainmouse at 11:21 AM on August 8, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by brainmouse at 11:21 AM on August 8, 2013 [1 favorite]
Some counties have that or related information online. For example, I was able to find the record of the probate hearing for my father's will in Dallas County (though not the record of his actual death certificate). If the county your target died in does not, you might consider paying someone to look it up for you — it only takes a few minutes in the County Records building. You could also try calling the County Records department to see if they'll look it up for you over the phone, or by mail or faxed request.
posted by ubiquity at 11:22 AM on August 8, 2013
posted by ubiquity at 11:22 AM on August 8, 2013
Obituaries aren't that useful. I've buried a lot of family and haven't run a single one. Assuming he died in the county, give the county clerk's office a call.
posted by griphus at 11:24 AM on August 8, 2013
posted by griphus at 11:24 AM on August 8, 2013
Best answer: In the US, the SSDI is as official as you can get - if the person is paid into it. As far as I can tell, the easiest way to do a quick check of the SSDI these days is via Death Record.com. A lot of the other indexes are now paywalled.
State by state release of information is really variable; for example, Connecticut will sell anyone a copy of the death certificate, while New York requires significantly more proof of relationship (legal or straight-line geneological.)
posted by cobaltnine at 11:25 AM on August 8, 2013
State by state release of information is really variable; for example, Connecticut will sell anyone a copy of the death certificate, while New York requires significantly more proof of relationship (legal or straight-line geneological.)
posted by cobaltnine at 11:25 AM on August 8, 2013
Best answer: There were some privacy concerns about the SSDI and many of them moved behind paywalls. Or there may be a delay with recent deaths before the data is added to the public information. The SSDI search at Familysearch.org is current as of June 20, 2013 and free, though.
posted by larrybob at 11:28 AM on August 8, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by larrybob at 11:28 AM on August 8, 2013 [2 favorites]
I embarked on a similar project a while back.
A member of my family had a son who died in infancy many years ago. She was a single mother in a fairly small town, and there was a lot of clucking, hand-patting, and we'll-take-care-of-everythinging. The hospital and the coroner said she was "too distraught" to see the body, and she never received a copy of the death certificate.
When I learned the full story and offered to help her, I called the bureau of vital statistics in the town where he died, and they told me that if I wanted to see this particular death certificate it would be "for genealogical purposes," and I would have to come to their offices and do it in person; they wouldn't mail me a copy and it wasn't online.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 11:28 AM on August 8, 2013
A member of my family had a son who died in infancy many years ago. She was a single mother in a fairly small town, and there was a lot of clucking, hand-patting, and we'll-take-care-of-everythinging. The hospital and the coroner said she was "too distraught" to see the body, and she never received a copy of the death certificate.
When I learned the full story and offered to help her, I called the bureau of vital statistics in the town where he died, and they told me that if I wanted to see this particular death certificate it would be "for genealogical purposes," and I would have to come to their offices and do it in person; they wouldn't mail me a copy and it wasn't online.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 11:28 AM on August 8, 2013
Not all newspapers charge to place obits, especially in smaller community papers. So if you really want to find an obit from 20 years ago, I'd check the local library and its newspaper archives.
If you're more interested in confirming his death, as others have said, the SSDI may be the way to go.
posted by IvoShandor at 11:37 AM on August 8, 2013
If you're more interested in confirming his death, as others have said, the SSDI may be the way to go.
posted by IvoShandor at 11:37 AM on August 8, 2013
Seconding that Ancestry.com has a free trial membership of 14 days or maybe even a month, so you could hop in there to see the SSDI database and hop out again.
I also note that a lot of families don't put obits in the newspaper anymore, but you can search for the website of the funeral directors. A lot of funeral homes will list services and details for the deceased, even if there isn't a newspaper obit. So if you know roughly where this man lived, you could try tracking him down that way, via a few of the mortuaries in the area.
posted by vickyverky at 11:52 AM on August 8, 2013
I also note that a lot of families don't put obits in the newspaper anymore, but you can search for the website of the funeral directors. A lot of funeral homes will list services and details for the deceased, even if there isn't a newspaper obit. So if you know roughly where this man lived, you could try tracking him down that way, via a few of the mortuaries in the area.
posted by vickyverky at 11:52 AM on August 8, 2013
Many public libraries also have Ancestry.com and/or similar database services available free on-site.
posted by zachlipton at 11:54 AM on August 8, 2013
posted by zachlipton at 11:54 AM on August 8, 2013
Call the county bureau of vital statistics. They should have this information.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 11:59 AM on August 8, 2013
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 11:59 AM on August 8, 2013
Response by poster: Thanks, everyone! Ancestry.com and Death-Record.com have already been a huge help. The middle name issue is complicating things (I have proof that John Winston Smith died in the right year, and proof that my mother divorced John W Smith, but not yet confidence that they are the same person), but from these sources I can order the official documents that will hopefully have the full names so I can compare them. Extra thanks to the couple of very kind folks who've memailed me with offers of help, restoring my faith in humanity--or at least the MeFite subsection of it.
posted by rhiannonstone at 4:46 PM on August 8, 2013
posted by rhiannonstone at 4:46 PM on August 8, 2013
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by phunniemee at 11:18 AM on August 8, 2013