To be or not to be? (The feral cat and human edition)
July 15, 2013 1:33 PM   Subscribe

I and my husband are passionate animal advocates. We know that neutering cats is the only way we can even hope to control the exponentially-growing population of unwanted and unloved animals. We have always held this view. Yet now, after witnessing something very touching moments between a feral mother and her kittens, I'm beginning to feel some reservations about taking the mother to be neutered this week along with the kittens. Have you struggles with this concern? Do you know of others who have explored the ethical implications involved?

I'm hoping to hear from others who get what I'm talking about and not so much from those who just take a position without question. The latter is easy, and I've often regretted decisions driven by expediency. We are changed by things we see and this has changed me. My hope is to convey what I've observed in a way that will inspire a nuanced discussion to really explore the issue with others who have felt similarly. I have no qualms about altering the kittens. They will go to good homes and live long, rich lives. The future of this very special mother, though, haunts me.

For nearly a year we've marveled every time a frighteningly thin, ragged, unsteady, wild cat came to our deck for food. We just couldn't understand how she managed to survive a Michigan winter in the brush pile we tracked her to, but she did. It seemed like a miracle when, a few weeks ago, she brought three kittens with her. They are definitely feral by all the qualifications listed by the feral advocacy groups. At first they scattered when we approached the slider, while she races toward us. She is feral in every way except her trust in us, which took some time to build. Her tail is always down, and she hides from all our neighbors. At every feeding prior to her presentation of her kittens she was ravenous. In another question about caring from her I wrote that she could put away three large cans of food plus several servings of crunchies three times a day. We treated her for worms and the fleas that cause tape-worms. Now, of course, we know that she was eating for her pregnancy. Now, though, at every feeding with her kittens at her side, she eats nothing...nothing, until each of her kittens is finished. Even if we try to trick her and bring out more food when they are done, she'll turn toward their lounging, bathing, bodies and softly cry for them to come and eat. Eventually, she will eat a little, never enough to put on any weight.

We have a good view of their feeding just outside our slider, and we enjoy watching the differences in personalities as they eat and play. We always wait for mother to ask for food (she comes to the slider and looks in to signal her want) in case she's trying to teach hunting. As the kittens munch their meal, mother stands guard and mediates the occasional squabble with the gentlest non-bite of the tip of an ear. She doesn't even make contact with the ear, she just makes that gesture as if to show that she could, but doesn't really want to. Sure, I'm anthropomorphizing here but it's incredible to observe how the kittens respond to her parenting. They know they are loved, that's for sure, and it shows in their behavior.

I'm aware that probably most mother cats behave this way. Imagine the young family sprawled out on the deck in the sun after a big meal, happily bathing and moving nearer and nearer to cuddle, until they are in a heap on top of mom, sound asleep the tip of mom's tail wagging to show her happiness. What will her emotional life be like once she is neutered and returned to the wild? Will it be one long succession of days with no chance to do what she is best at, genius at? She is not adoptable, and so small that I doubt she could hold her own in a barn colony. She seems very solitary.

From that point it was a short step to questioning the hubris in believing I have the right to control another animal's reproductive life. We thought we were doing the right thing for the pets we've put to sleep, too, and I deeply regret that.

If you've read this far you probably get it. I know the party line: She'll be healthier and live longer if she is neutered, and she and we won't contribute to the misery of untold generations of felines and the humans who come into contact with them. I really don't need to hear from those who embrace this view without question. I get that. We will most certainly go through with it. I'm just exploring this decision in hope that I won't be killing her soul for the sake of expediency.
posted by R2WeTwo to Pets & Animals (1 answer total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: Heya, if you're not really asking for guidance on this but mostly just trying to start a discussion, this isn't really right for Ask Metafilter. -- cortex

 
Cats live in the moment. A neutered cat isn't going to sit around, wondering what might have been because she can no longer carry or give birth to kittens. I understand where you're coming from, but you're putting human emotions onto an animal who doesn't think in the same way or have future hopes and dreams in the same way that people do. The best we can do for animals is to try to make their "right now" lives better, healthier, and happier.
posted by xingcat at 1:38 PM on July 15, 2013


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