Ex engaged after 6 months......
May 30, 2013 4:03 PM Subscribe
I don't understand this crazy decision and why he would toss me away like crap.
I dated my ex for 3 years and I broke up with him November of last year. I was his first girlfriend and first love at 26. He had been acting weird most of summer and never happy with anything I did. Always complained that we argued. We mainly argued about his friends who had been rude and unfriendly to me the whole relationship and spending together once a week twice on a good week. He always complained he was two busy and at the time he was in grad school and later was working part time as a case manager. Most nights he was bowling every week, at church or with his family. I asked him what would make him happy and he said he claimed he was upset I didn't get along with his friends. His excuse was he didn't want to have separate lives and I didn't get along with his friends.
I talked to him on Christmas Eve and I asked if he was happy being single and he said he was fine with his life. I told him he wasn't ready for a relationship and he blew up at me.
A week later I noticed he and his new girlfriend posted pictures announcing their new relationship on Facebook. At the time I assumed he was a liar and cheater and I had some not nice words for him. He then made a status on Facebook about how everyone his hating on him and to stay out of his business. In April I saw that he was engaged. The whole time we were together I was always told oh I have to save for a ring, I would ask when he was going to move out of his dad's house and he would become angry.
I called and spoke to him and I wanted know how could anyone treat someone like this and he didn't really have a response. His mom died 3 months into our relationship and I was always there for him, I helped encourage him through grad school, we were both looking for jobs and I found the job that he has now. We really struggled a lot with constant interference from his friends and his family babied him a lot.
He had tight group friends that all went to the same high school and college. I was a little shy when I first met them but usually if people are nice I warm up. Well one person called me my boyfriend's interest when he was on the phone with someone. I was being nice and hugged a girl during a game night when she came in door and she said loudly why am I hugging you I don't know you. (I guess she had a thing for him)
Whenever I came around they would sit and stare at me or only talk to each other. They would only talk about remember when stories from when I wasn't dating my then boyfriend. No one else had a boyfriend or girlfriend. If I didn't go to their weekly bowling event or whatever outing he did every weekend they were offended. I had a life that didn't revolve around my boyfriend and his friends. Oh and then I was unemployed for a little bit but in grad school and I had to leave a game night to study and one person loudly said why am I leaving I don't have to work in the morning. (ass hole) I had a really hard mid term the next day. My idiot boyfriend what would never say anything. I think they were jealous because he spent all of his free time with them and whenever they needed something he jumped and did it. I guess they thought I was taking him away. I thought it was so weird. I wouldn't hang around them because they were so rude and unfriendly. I kept trying because it meant so much to him but quickly grew tired of their behavior.
He said that he didn't cheat on me and that he knew this girl from the bowling alley and that she worked there and they started dating two weeks after we broke up and he was ready to be single and then he met her. (I suspect he was talking to her since last April.) In September on our anniversary he was saying how excited he was about our future.
I asked him why did he lie and say he wanted to marry me when he didn't and he said that he did want to marry me. He keeps saying he doesn't have any mal intent towards me. I told him he shouldn't I didn't do anything I was 100% faithful and I never disrespected him in any way. He would refuse to communicate about any problems and would always disregard my feelings. He really had unrealistic expectations. This whole thing is confusing and weird and I feel like I really tried to work things out and I was always supportive and made and effort to be social but nothing ever seemed to be good enough. I'm slowly getting over it but it still angers me and makes me feel stupid for trusting him.
I dated my ex for 3 years and I broke up with him November of last year. I was his first girlfriend and first love at 26. He had been acting weird most of summer and never happy with anything I did. Always complained that we argued. We mainly argued about his friends who had been rude and unfriendly to me the whole relationship and spending together once a week twice on a good week. He always complained he was two busy and at the time he was in grad school and later was working part time as a case manager. Most nights he was bowling every week, at church or with his family. I asked him what would make him happy and he said he claimed he was upset I didn't get along with his friends. His excuse was he didn't want to have separate lives and I didn't get along with his friends.
I talked to him on Christmas Eve and I asked if he was happy being single and he said he was fine with his life. I told him he wasn't ready for a relationship and he blew up at me.
A week later I noticed he and his new girlfriend posted pictures announcing their new relationship on Facebook. At the time I assumed he was a liar and cheater and I had some not nice words for him. He then made a status on Facebook about how everyone his hating on him and to stay out of his business. In April I saw that he was engaged. The whole time we were together I was always told oh I have to save for a ring, I would ask when he was going to move out of his dad's house and he would become angry.
I called and spoke to him and I wanted know how could anyone treat someone like this and he didn't really have a response. His mom died 3 months into our relationship and I was always there for him, I helped encourage him through grad school, we were both looking for jobs and I found the job that he has now. We really struggled a lot with constant interference from his friends and his family babied him a lot.
He had tight group friends that all went to the same high school and college. I was a little shy when I first met them but usually if people are nice I warm up. Well one person called me my boyfriend's interest when he was on the phone with someone. I was being nice and hugged a girl during a game night when she came in door and she said loudly why am I hugging you I don't know you. (I guess she had a thing for him)
Whenever I came around they would sit and stare at me or only talk to each other. They would only talk about remember when stories from when I wasn't dating my then boyfriend. No one else had a boyfriend or girlfriend. If I didn't go to their weekly bowling event or whatever outing he did every weekend they were offended. I had a life that didn't revolve around my boyfriend and his friends. Oh and then I was unemployed for a little bit but in grad school and I had to leave a game night to study and one person loudly said why am I leaving I don't have to work in the morning. (ass hole) I had a really hard mid term the next day. My idiot boyfriend what would never say anything. I think they were jealous because he spent all of his free time with them and whenever they needed something he jumped and did it. I guess they thought I was taking him away. I thought it was so weird. I wouldn't hang around them because they were so rude and unfriendly. I kept trying because it meant so much to him but quickly grew tired of their behavior.
He said that he didn't cheat on me and that he knew this girl from the bowling alley and that she worked there and they started dating two weeks after we broke up and he was ready to be single and then he met her. (I suspect he was talking to her since last April.) In September on our anniversary he was saying how excited he was about our future.
I asked him why did he lie and say he wanted to marry me when he didn't and he said that he did want to marry me. He keeps saying he doesn't have any mal intent towards me. I told him he shouldn't I didn't do anything I was 100% faithful and I never disrespected him in any way. He would refuse to communicate about any problems and would always disregard my feelings. He really had unrealistic expectations. This whole thing is confusing and weird and I feel like I really tried to work things out and I was always supportive and made and effort to be social but nothing ever seemed to be good enough. I'm slowly getting over it but it still angers me and makes me feel stupid for trusting him.
This post was deleted for the following reason: I don't see a question here at all, just a rant against an ex. What specifically are you looking for help with? What problem can other members of the community help you with? -- mathowie
you've broken up, and he's moved on. you need to move on too. see a therapist to deal with your anger and trust issues, defriend him on facebook, erase his contact file from your phone, and find someone else. you're young, and it's a great big world. go live in it.
posted by koroshiya at 4:09 PM on May 30, 2013
posted by koroshiya at 4:09 PM on May 30, 2013
This thread is closed to new comments.
From what you've written, though, I would ask YOU--why are you still thinking about this? You clearly felt negatively about the relationship, broke up with him, and now he has moved on and is happy. Now you can move on, too. That's like the best-case scenario after a breakup. Shouldn't that be good news?
posted by anonnymoose at 4:08 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]