Where are some good value for money strip joints in London?

January 24, 2013 4:33 PM

I am a man with certain needs, and yet I am constrained by my most unfortunate financial condition. Where might a discerning gentleman go in London to see the most flesh per pound exchanged? Preferences are given to those establishments with some standards, although if an establishment is less than reputable but has great character, I would be willing to give it a go. One for the memoirs, you understand.
posted by dougrayrankin to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation (6 answers total)

Do you want to see men or women or both?
posted by The corpse in the library at 4:51 PM on January 24, 2013

My preference is for women, though if the men had some interesting talent to combine with their titillation, then I might be convinced. Perhaps, for example, if there were a male strip club which combined the erotic aspects of their service with the aesthetic of Bartitsu. That would certainly interest me. Of course, I must refer back to the aforementioned financial constraints in play here. I may be a Londoner, but I am at present between contracts and thus I am forced out of my usual haunts in Mayfair and into that which entertains yet provides good value for money.
posted by dougrayrankin at 5:04 PM on January 24, 2013

The most flesh per pound exchanged? Sounds like you want an old-established strip pub. I don't know whether Ye Olde Axe on Hackney Road is still functioning. But something like that.
posted by londongeezer at 7:07 PM on January 24, 2013

A colleague drunkenly took me to The Griffin on Roseberry Avenue and it was...educational. It was one of those pound-in-a-pint-pot establishments which I believe are generally not considered classy joints, though.

I can't really parse your purple prose well enought to know if you'd be happy enough watching someone sliding down a pole vulva first in the dingy stage corner of a pub with blackened windows, but if you want flesh for cheap, I guess that's where you'd go.
posted by mippy at 3:41 AM on January 25, 2013

Browns at the bottom of Hackney Road probably fits the bill I'd imagine. Not what you'd call high class, but entertaining and cheap enough. Or it was, 20-odd years ago.
posted by ComfySofa at 4:07 AM on January 25, 2013

Yeah, East London is your best bet for this kind of thing

Brown's mentioned above is the high point, and it goes all down hill from there. There's one round the corner from Browns, on the Hackney Road, there's another heading down the hill from Brown's towards Liverpool Street and there's one on Whitechaple Road, the something Arms or Vaults, up towards Aldgate end (sorry, not googling that at work). Can't miss it, all the windows are boarded up.

Have only been to Brown's and the one in Whitechaple but both operate on the same principle; someone brings round a glass, everyone chucks in a pound, the dis-interested stripper removes her clothes. Putting a pound in the glass is not optional. Browns has some kind of room out the back, have no idea about prices or what goes on in there and the one in Whitechaple is proper seedy. Some punter asked me if my girlfriend was next up on stage the one and only time I've been there.

Apparently this whole area used to be referred to as Titty Mile, and any proper cabby would have taken you straight there upon requesting this as your destination, but I have no idea of how true that is now. (Again, not googling this at work)
posted by fatfrank at 9:39 AM on January 25, 2013