Dress me, please!

November 8, 2012 5:17 PM

Yet another question about what to wear to a wedding. I'm attending a late afternoon wedding this weekend in Northern Virginia. It's at a country club, and no dress code was specified. Is this recently-purchased cute Anthropologie dress appropriate?

My major concern is that the black portions of the dress are a thin jersey knit that seems pretty casual. Otherwise, it fits perfectly, and I have a sparkly necklace, bracelet and black kitten-heeled velvet pumps to dress it up. I really don't know this couple well, and have no idea how formal their wedding will be - he's a childhood friend of my boyfriend's and of course my boyfriend's not-so-helpful advice is that whatever I wear will be just fine.

Option B is to run out tomorrow and pick up something more clearly party-appropriate like this or this, but I'm reluctant to spend $150-250 on a dress that I don't know when I'll wear again.

posted by psycheslamp to clothing, beauty, & fashion (19 answers total)

Adorable! I think it'll be totally appropriate, especially when dressed up.
posted by blackcatcuriouser at 5:20 PM on November 8, 2012 [2 favorites]

The dress you own is very cute!
posted by Flamingo at 5:23 PM on November 8, 2012

It's bad form that they didn't specify. So wear whatever you want.
posted by greta simone at 5:27 PM on November 8, 2012

It looks perfect! Not too casual at all, but not so formal that you'd feel awkward if it ended up being less fancy than you thought.
posted by sonmi at 5:28 PM on November 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

I think it's appropriate as long as you don't wear opaque tights, which are too casual for most weddings in my opinion. Sheer black hose, nude hose, or bare legs would be appropriate.
posted by telegraph at 5:29 PM on November 8, 2012 [3 favorites]

Not ideal -- too short, too evening, too casual. I would assume that the blokes will default to business attire, and that's not a match for a suit, but, what is your boyfriend wearing?
posted by kmennie at 5:29 PM on November 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

Pretty! Wear it! Maybe add a shawl or pashmina or something if you think you might get cold.
posted by BlahLaLa at 5:29 PM on November 8, 2012

Good dress! NoVa is where I grew up - my parents would think that Anthropologie dress is perfectly appropriate for a wedding with no specified dress code, and a flexible purchase, to boot. Nobody expects the slightly disconnected girlfriend of a groom's old friend to be the most formal person there, and you're dressing it up with jewelry which will be read as you having made a good effort even if there are a few (irrelevant!) people who think you're not a perfect mesh with the rest of the wedding guests.
posted by Mizu at 5:33 PM on November 8, 2012

Given that they didn't specify what level of formality and that you already own the dress, as long as it's not too short on you (I mean, like you can't sit comfortably without feeling like it's too revealing) I would go with your plan A. Dress it up with sheer black hose, your jewelry, heels and a nice pashmina/shawl, and you are good to go.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 5:35 PM on November 8, 2012

Looks great to me! I think people who don't specify a dress code probably are not terribly concerned about what people wear as long as it's not incredibly off the mark (i.e. jeans). If they were going to get in a snit about it, they would have specified. This is definitely well within normal wedding attire in my opinion.
posted by rainbowbrite at 6:17 PM on November 8, 2012 [2 favorites]

Yeah that's great. Also if you have a nice pashmina to throw over throw shoulders that's a great way to fake it if it's super black tie, but honestly with jewelry and heels you could still probably pull that off.
posted by whoaali at 6:29 PM on November 8, 2012

I think it's fantastic!
posted by Countess Sandwich at 6:47 PM on November 8, 2012

I think it's lovely, the only concern I have is about the jersey knit, like you do, but I think you can get away with that if you dress it up with accessories and heels like you have already suggested.
posted by liquorice at 6:51 PM on November 8, 2012

I think it's appropriate as long as you don't wear opaque tights, which are too casual for most weddings in my opinion. Sheer black hose, nude hose, or bare legs would be appropriate.

Totally disagree. Opaque tights are the most fashion forward option (hence the model wearing them in the photo). Sheer black and nude hose often seem old-fashioned on a young woman- unless you're Kate Middleton, but we can't all be royal.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:34 PM on November 8, 2012

I think the dress you already own would be great, especially with what you have planned. As an aside, I really, really love the lilac colored second dress you posted - so pretty! But it's absolutely fine to wear the blue dress.
posted by RogueTech at 7:45 PM on November 8, 2012

I'm with kmennie. If the dress is as short on you as it is on the model, then it's too short to wear to a wedding. It also looks much too evening to me. Norms vary from place to place, but around here an afternoon wedding means more vintage-style tea dress than evening wear.

Of the other two you linked, I think the red one would be perfect. Wear it with your kitten-heeled pumps and maybe a flower in your hair (real or fake) and I suspect you'd look adorable. Or do you have another day dress made of a nice fabric that you could dress up with your sparkly jewels?
posted by Georgina at 7:54 PM on November 8, 2012

Thanks everyone for your comments! I think I'll go out tomorrow and see if I can find something I really love, but if not I'll wear what I have and I'm sure it will be fine.
posted by psycheslamp at 8:27 PM on November 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

It's fine, but I also think it's too evening. In fact, with sparkles and velvet shoes, it'll be way too evening, too cocktail, too formal. I mean, not WAY too... It's *fine.* You're not the bride or in the wedding so really: whatever. And it's not shockingly inappropriate by any means! It's cute and fits you well so why not? Also, are you sure it's not too short? It says mini-dress, but if you're of my short stature, that means nothing, so I get it.

If anything, I would try not to dress it up so much as make it more daytime. Maybe nude or neutral shoes and a pashmina? Brighten it up a bit.

For a daytime country club wedding, think slightly picnic-y rather than full-on cocktail-y. For example, I think the Mariposa dress you posted is way less appropriate. See the distinction made here:


Anthropologie seems to be riding hard on cocktaily Christmas party dresses right now, which makes it kinda hard, but here are some examples that seem like better bets to me:
http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/product/25485657.jsp
http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/product/25424979.jsp
http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/product/25877515.jsp (if not too short)
http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/product/25839796.jsp

Not saying you should buy these, just inspiration...

Also, I am from the south and have lived in Virginia, I think southern country clubs keep daynight/nighttime distinctions a bit more clearly.

But again, really don't worry or shell out a ton of money. It really is totally fine. My advice is more like... if you WANT to worry about it, these are the lines along which you might do so. Unless it's too short.
posted by lalalana at 3:37 AM on November 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

I've spent a fair amount of time at a country club in Northen Virginia, and I have to agree that while your dress is lovely, it's not quite ideal for the occasion. That said, I certainly don't think you'd be shamed out of the reception of you don't have time to find something else.

Generally, the women I see at the club during more festive events are wearing more structured dresses that I would guess are from places like Ann Taylor.
posted by jaksemas at 4:32 AM on November 9, 2012