Is she in to me?
September 26, 2012 1:19 PM Subscribe
Asking internet strangers if she's into me and for some advice if so.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (51 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
I went to middle school with this girl and had a typical middle school crush on her then, though we weren't friends or anything at the time. We didn't see each other for 14 years, and eventually became facebook friends. We gradually interacted more on facebook as it became clear we had a lot in common. Then, about three weeks ago we "ran" a novelty 5k (Color Me Rad), which actually consisted of us walking most of the way, talking, and throwing colored corn starch at each other, then eating tacos and later both of us meeting up with other friends of mine to browse a local gallery walk. And we've been getting together whenever we can since then, staying up late talking, making long term plans for activities to do together, etc.
Great, right? These are my complications:
Underpinning all of these unknowns is that she wold probably be widely considered "out of my league." Beautiful, smart, brick house, awesome, interesting job, etc. I mean, I'm not Quasimodo over here or anything. I'm in good shape but average looking, intelligent on par with her, successful working in the arts, but seriously. While no one has used that term, it's been delicately acknowledged by a close friend of mine. This is the time to mention that I've mostly overcome occasionally severe depression over the past few years and almost certainly have lingering self-esteem issues.
We've been on something like 8 dates (if that's what they are), but haven't kissed or anything like that. There's been flirty arm/leg contact and all that, but that's it. A female friend of mine points out that not only is she the type that gets hit on lasciviously a lot (she does), and her field is extremely male dominated, which I know she's had to deal with before, so she may be cagey about moving very fast. I don't know. I will note that a couple of times we've sort of lingered at her car as we were parting ways and I think I was "supposed" to kiss her. I feel like this is a somewhat juvenile view of the situation.
We both moved back to this city recently and are both living with parents for now. We're both late 20's. I think you can imagine how this might be a complication.
As I write this I feel dumber for asking, but I'm not really very experienced with actual dating and I find myself constantly questioning everything. I'm trying very hard to adhere to the spirit of Shitmydadsays' advice, "That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won't screw you, don't do it for them." Hopefully obviously, screwing isn't all I'm after here.
So, I'm all twitterpated and uncertain right now and I just want some outside perspective here. What do you think? What can I do to move forward and feel out the situation? A possibly important detail I forgot to include: I have initiated everything, and usually initiate texting conversations, but then, she's accepted every invitation.