Professor Creepy Comes to Town
August 17, 2012 7:47 AM Subscribe
Former professor made a pass at me. This was upsetting because I consider him a mentor and didn't think he had those kind of motivations towards me. Now he is in town and wants to take me out. What should I say?
posted by idle to Human Relations (59 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
He is much much older than me. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I always assumed he was my mentor and he was going to write recommendations for me for grad school. Now I doubt all the times he told me how smart I was. The way he made me feel was intensely unsettling to me. I thought I was over-sensitive, but other people around felt it too and I work with men all the time and never have this problem. I really don't want to see him again, but I suppose I don't have the courage as of yet to tell him and he keeps emailing me over and over again to ask me. I am considering just saying I'm away, but I worry he'll stalk me over the internet and find out I'm lying because I've gotten emails from him before "I saw on Twitter that you were at ZYX restaurants, how was it?"
I feel kind of devastated because I can't consider him a mentor any more and I can't ask for a recommendation in good conscience. But he is good friends with many top people in the field, so I'm hesitant to burn bridges, though I've certainly fantasized about it.