"There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking - I suggest you try it"

July 28, 2005 7:04 PM

Best technique for shaving one's nutsack. Anyone? Anyone?
posted by Idiot Mittens to Grab Bag (30 answers total)

don't. trim it instead. less itchiness later.
posted by Hackworth at 7:10 PM on July 28, 2005

You could use a pair of clippers - WITH A GUARD ON! Actually shaving with a razor? No idea and I imagine the itching from the hair growing back in would be damn near intolerable.
posted by jperkins at 7:12 PM on July 28, 2005

I can't be the only one who finds it hilarious that this was posted under the category "grab bag".

I would second jperkins' suggestion of clippers, or an electric razor.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:32 PM on July 28, 2005

It's not all that hard. At the end of my shower, while still in the shower, I just use some shaving gel and a Mach3 razor. Being semi-erect helps with the hair on the shaft. Make sure to pull the scrotum to the left and right to keep the skin taut.

I find I don't need any special aftercare lotions.

Hair is visibly grown back in a week, but I find the itchiness starts around Day 10.
posted by GeneticFreek at 7:32 PM on July 28, 2005

I have ... uhhh "heard" that when you "trim" any hair down there the "short" hairs act as bristles and itch... i think if you were able to shave them completely off and keep them off it would actually itch less.

But why are on earth would you want to do that!
posted by crewshell at 7:33 PM on July 28, 2005

Actually, I use an $11 beard trimmer I got at a local drug store, without a guard. It's a rechargable, battery powered device, so a) it's easy to maneuver around the jewels, and b) doesn't have the scary power of, say, one of those "home haircut" trimmers that look like they would chew your skin up. The blade is only about an inch wide.

I am very careful about the angle I use, keeping the blade between 70 and 80 degrees against my skin. Some parts of the sack can just be shaved as is, with slow, steady strokes and a light hand, whilst other, more wrinkly areas may need to be carefully pulled taut (well, tautish) before stroking the razor over them. Each area usually requires several passes to get all the hair off, but I'm very happy with the result. (And my girlfriend of up until a few months ago loved it as well. Let's just say I benefitted nicely.)
posted by NewGear at 7:33 PM on July 28, 2005

Trim off as much as you can, needless to say, *very* carefully with sharp hairdressing scissors. Then move in the for the kill with a safety razor and shaving foam. Finally moisturize with baby oil, or any moisturiser that doesn't contain menthol or AHAs. You will have issues with itching though after about 5-7 days as the hair starts to grow back and rub against your inner thighs. As pretty much the ultimate sign of trust, you could also get your GF to do it for you....
posted by forallmankind at 7:40 PM on July 28, 2005

My advise would be a regular set of electric clippers. A 1/4" guard does a pretty good job and is almost guaranteed to not have any stubble or other irritation issues. You can remove the guard if you want closer. There were a couple of AskMeFi threads about shaving recently, and here are some of the highlights from those:

Body Bare
Seiko cleancut
more ideas (NSFW)
posted by Rhomboid at 7:48 PM on July 28, 2005

You know, someone I know, that like I heard from him, it doesn't hurt to pull them off. Arduous but better in the long run. Cutting yourself in "Mr. Rove" really isn't a pleasant experience.
posted by geoff. at 7:50 PM on July 28, 2005

Trimming doubleplusgood. Shorning doubleplusungood.
posted by Rothko at 7:53 PM on July 28, 2005

Just don't grab the bag too hard in the process.
posted by caddis at 7:58 PM on July 28, 2005

And don't drink any caffeine before you get to it.
It can make your hands shake.
I'm just sayin'.
posted by blueneurosis at 8:04 PM on July 28, 2005

forallmankind: he may trust me to do it but I don't trust me. I would rather not shave anyone's nutsack and especially not anyone's nutsack that I care about not accidentally slicing into ribbons. (You reading this IdiotMittens? Don't ask.)
posted by LunaticFringe at 8:04 PM on July 28, 2005

Use one of those rotating depilitory devices that pull the hair out by the root, your sack will be so smooth. as new hair grows in it will have no stubble.
posted by hortense at 8:08 PM on July 28, 2005

In general this practice is one of the few bits of hygiene that seems to be far more difficult for men than women.

As nearly everyone here has noted you want to do first pass with a fairly low-power trimmer. After the first couple of times you shouldn't need a guard and can cut extremely close. I usually stop there. After you do it enough times it stops itching significantly as it grows back.

If you really do want to go further, though, there are plenty of extra-sensitive specialty electric razors specifically targetted at this task (Playboy carries a reasonably decent one, IIRC, although I'm sure you could find better with minimal effort).

I have never used a 'normal' razor for any purpose, but I would be deeply concerned about the possible effects on the scrotum and underside of the penis. I have no information about gels, foams, etc. for this reason.

Best of luck. The sensation (provided your partner shaves completely bare) is incredible.
posted by Ryvar at 8:17 PM on July 28, 2005

I dunno, I was all nerves trying it at first, but it's really not that difficult. For all my reasonable fears, the sack is surprisingly resiliant. Shave for shave I have cut my face many, many more times.

Shaving in the shower is probably better but not required. I have poor light in my shower and I do fine in the bathroom proper. For your first time, trim with scissors. Then use normal shaving cream and normal razor. The topology takes some getting used to, but before too long you'll have a routine down.

The trickiest bit is rinsing the excess shaving cream away, which I why I usually do it before getting in the shower.

Nicks will sting, but really, not all that much. Bleeding is minimal-- the face is much worse. Be brave, shave with confidence, you'll do fine.
posted by samh23 at 8:52 PM on July 28, 2005

I use a trimmer with a 3mm (1/8") guard. That's as close as I'm willing to go right now. :)

I hear that if you use a razor, tautness is really of the essence.
posted by trevyn at 9:14 PM on July 28, 2005

Shaving Private Ryan

Tiny Nibbles

Shaving the Scrotum

A'int the web wonderful?
posted by ericb at 9:16 PM on July 28, 2005

While you're down there, feel your balls real good, so you don't get cancer.
posted by wsg at 10:08 PM on July 28, 2005

The Philips Bodygroom seems like it might be just the thing for dapper genitals. Sadly, it appears to be available in only in the UK. Fortunately, the Remington BHT-2000 is (according to Body4Real UK) comparable and available in the US.

I've been giving some serious thought to clearing out the underbrush. The "thatch" look went out with 70's era pornography.
posted by aladfar at 11:47 PM on July 28, 2005

hortense: Use one of those rotating depilitory devices that pull the hair out by the root, your sack will be so smooth. as new hair grows in it will have no stubble.

I've tried one of these on my legs and it was too painful for me to take. My sister uses it on her legs and underarms and says she got used to the pain. I have noticed her underarms look red and splotchy when she uses it, though. Her legs don't get the same effect.
posted by halonine at 11:55 PM on July 28, 2005

Like many, I use a Mach 3 in the shower and plenty of patience. A bit of soapy lather but I forgo gel/cream. I've never bothered to chase down the taint as I suspect that would really be a source of uncomfortable stubble.

Or, you could try waxing. Ouch.
posted by geekyguy at 11:56 PM on July 28, 2005

Believe it or not, this has been asked before.
posted by jjg at 12:04 AM on July 29, 2005

Electric clippers first to reduce the length and tangle, then have a hot bath. Use a decent razor in the bath. Take your time. Use both hands - one to move your bits, one to shave in careful strokes. Rinse well.

Perhaps I'm odd, but itching never seems to be a problem, even with a bit of grow-back...
posted by Chunder at 6:33 AM on July 29, 2005

Clippers, with a #2 guard.
posted by adampsyche at 8:44 AM on July 29, 2005

*explodes*
posted by jonmc at 10:24 AM on July 29, 2005

If you start itching, powder your boys with a bit of Gold Bond. It is like a thousand tiny hands massaging your crotch.
posted by sciurus at 10:55 AM on July 29, 2005

/me kermits
posted by menace303 at 11:58 AM on July 29, 2005

Assuming your user name is descriptive and not merely random, doff the mittens first, idiot! ;)
posted by rob511 at 6:52 PM on July 29, 2005

Metafilter: a thousand tiny hands massaging your crotch.
posted by mosch at 10:21 PM on July 29, 2005