Can I be a lech and a feminist?
June 19, 2012 12:08 PM Subscribe
Can a hyper-sexed, promiscuous man also
be a good feminist?
posted by scaryblackdeath to Human Relations (42 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
I keep wondering if this is worth asking, and I've come to my own conclusions on it, but I'm also constantly bothered by the question of "what am I blindly not considering here?" I'm asking in part as part of a writing exercise, but I wonder about this in ordinary life, too.
I've got a character in a story who's a nice, moral, honest guy who has the good fortune (or is it...?) to have women just throw themselves at him, and he has a hard time saying no. He's surrounded by enablers (like his fully-aware girlfriend) and conditions usually leave his logical arguments for refusal in tatters, leaving him vulnerable to his own libido. It gets lampshaded--it's ridiculous, and he knows it, and suspension of disbelief is already high in the story (fantasy piece, there's magic & such)--but despite that silly premise, I'm still trying to make his attitude realistic. He's no brain-dead frat boy.
FWIW, I don't think sex addiction applies here; he's concerned about his frequent inability to say no, but he's always up front about his conditions, relationship status, etc. Dishonesty is rarely at issue. He respects women for their brains, character, ability, etc., so it's not that... or can you have that dual attitude of "I respect women" and "I'll screw anything in a skirt?"
Is there a piece I'm not seeing here?