Light My Route of Blind Dating
March 12, 2012 3:19 PM Subscribe
Blind Date and Matchmaking Panic.
posted by easilyconfused to human relations (6 answers total)
A friend of mine is trying to set me up with one of his rather attractive friend. I'm quite intrigued even knowing very little about his friend and I kinda don't want to raise my expectation. It's really rare that I'd find someone so appealing off-the-bat (totally my type, and strange thing is I never told my friend anything about my love history/interest before) and I'm almost fantasizing a relationship. I've been casually dating for a while, from online-to-offline, and no one has piqued interest so much, maybe because I have more trust in this friend.
- So how does this work?
- What kind of activity is proper for a blind date like this?
- If I should communicate directly with the date, and make plans? And how do I approach by e-mail given we don't know each other at all, and it's not like there's a dating profile handy somewhere for both of us to read/see.
- Whether I should involve our common friend on a first date?
Since I'm so over-thinking, and have a hard time to think of it as a casual meeting-new-people-hang-out, bonus question,
- How important are looks in a relationship compare to something else I also highly value (such as kindness, introspectiveness, emotional honesty and intellectuality)?
About half a year ago, two of my friends mutually find each other cute. Knowing that they are seeking for very different things in a relationship, they have quite different needs/wants, I thought they might not be very compatible.
However, friend 1 was more insistent on pursuing friend 2 and expressed a lot of interest at the time. I cared a lot about friend 1, and he seemed to be crushing and I felt bad, and considering he had been there for me during one of my worst times, I agreed to bring friend 2 to a group dinner to have them meet. I told friend 1 that it's all I could do as a friend. They could be friends, and whatever happens later, it's none of my business. And I don't like being the meddler. After they met, friend 1 found out that friend 2 didn't really care that much about him through me, and made me swear to never tell friend 2. Then, what happens is that friend 1 is still very persistent about pursuing a friendship with friend 2, whereas friend 2 was indifferent for a long time.
At the same time, friend 1 often tells me that he doesn't know what he saw in friend 2 and he doesn't find friend 2 cute and other not so flattering things. I suspected friend 1 lying about his feelings to me. And he again told me not to let friend 2 know.
Fast forward a month later, friend 1 still actively pursues friendship with friend 2, hangs out with friend 2, and flirts with friend 2 in front of my eyes!!!!
I've known friend 2 a lot longer than friend 1, and friend 2 is one of my closest friends and I'd drop anything to do things for friend 2. Friend 2 also truly cares for me, and has been my rock for years.
And friend 2 is now trying to date other people.
So now, I'm wondering,
- Should I ever let friend 2 know about friend 1's intention at the group dinner?
- If so, is it unethical as I promised that I wouldn't let friend 2 to know?
- Should I talk to friend 1 and let him know friend 2 is looking for others? (at the same time both friend 1 and 2 are so private about their love lives, and I really hate to be the one disclosing friend 2's love life without consent)