Metafilter Rule Number 30: When there is a plate of beans, over-think it

February 16, 2012 8:36 PM

I'm looking for lists of TV shows and movies that have characters referencing numbered lists of rules. As examples in Wedding Crashers they reference a random assortment of rules e.g. Rule #110: Never walk away from a crasher in a funny jacket. Fight Club has "First Rule of fight club is..." What else has a set of rules like this?
posted by vegetableagony to media & arts (30 answers total)

Zombieland. Rule 1: Cardio
posted by jamaro at 8:40 PM on February 16, 2012 [4 favorites]

How I Met Your Mother has The Bro Code.
posted by shes_ajar at 8:42 PM on February 16, 2012

Two Star Trek examples: Lefler's Laws and The Rules of Acquisition.
posted by yellowbinder at 8:42 PM on February 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

In the Star Trek: TNG episode The Game, Wesley's friend Robin frequently references her personal list of 102 laws to live by.
posted by datarose at 8:44 PM on February 16, 2012

NCIS: Special Agent Gibbs has a long list of rules that are referenced throughout all

Star Trek TNG: Ashley Judd played an ensign on one episode and had a list of Laws to Live By (on preview, beat by two others!)
posted by Nickel at 8:45 PM on February 16, 2012

An old UK tv series with Clive Owen did this, Chancer.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 8:47 PM on February 16, 2012

I think "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" has Damone listing steps for meeting women.
posted by Melismata at 8:47 PM on February 16, 2012

Also, the Space Corps Directives of Red Dwarf.
posted by jamaro at 8:47 PM on February 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

tv tropes warning.

Rule Number One.
posted by zamboni at 8:54 PM on February 16, 2012

In About a Boy, Hugh Grant's character has rules/strategies for the way he blocks out his day (he doesn't have to work).
posted by sweetkid at 8:55 PM on February 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

Olivia has "Rule of Life Number whatever" in every episode of "Olivia," if kids' shows count!
posted by nkknkk at 8:57 PM on February 16, 2012

See also: The Commandments.
posted by zamboni at 9:00 PM on February 16, 2012

John Ritter's show, 8 Simple Rules.
posted by kbar1 at 9:18 PM on February 16, 2012

Fanboys: Rule number one in my van it's Rush. All Rush, all the time, no exceptions...
posted by MoonOrb at 9:22 PM on February 16, 2012

Doctor Who, both classic and Nu has bits of this. Rule 27: "Never knowingly be serious"
posted by Mad_Carew at 10:10 PM on February 16, 2012

the 32 rules of Zombieland
posted by Xere at 10:18 PM on February 16, 2012

Y Tu Mama Tambien's "Charolastra - a.k.a. Space Cowboy" Rules:

1. There is no greater honor than being a Charolastra.
2. Do whatever you feel like.
3. Pop beats poetry.
4. Get high at least once a day.
5. You shall not fuck a fellow Charolastra's girlfriend
6. Whoever roots for Team America is a tool.
7. Whacking off rules.
8. Never marry a virgin.
9. Whoever roots for Team America is a tool. (this bears repeating)
10. Truth is cool but unattainable.
11. The asshole who breaks any of the previous rules loses his title of Charolastra.
posted by sestaaak at 10:26 PM on February 16, 2012

The Tao of Steve.
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 10:44 PM on February 16, 2012

Scream lists the Rules of Horror Movies.
posted by XhaustedProphet at 10:44 PM on February 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

The Big Bang Theory has the Roommate Agreement.
posted by Defying Gravity at 11:05 PM on February 16, 2012

In Red Dwarf, Rimmer constantly quotes the regulations.
posted by geek anachronism at 1:33 AM on February 17, 2012

There's the Ferengi "Rules of Acquisition".
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 6:23 AM on February 17, 2012

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants had ten rules for themselves and the pants. It started as a series of novels but has been adapted into movies.
posted by anderjen at 7:16 AM on February 17, 2012

I swear there's a scene in Home Alone (I can't believe I remember this crap) where a creepy cousin on the family trip to France or whatever lists a series of rules, numbering them 1, B, C, 4 or something like that. Can't find the actual quote, though.
posted by that's candlepin at 7:50 AM on February 17, 2012

Tough Love on VH1 (reality)
posted by hmo at 7:55 AM on February 17, 2012

There's a great NewsRadio episode called "The Secrets of Management." Jimmy James imparts some timeless advice to producer Lisa:

#1-Measure twice, cut once.
#2-No shirt, no shoes, no service.
#3-Don't do today what you can put off 'til tomorrow.
#434-The boss is never wrong.
#435-When in doubt, see secret #434.
#437-It's hard to fly with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys.
#597-Whoomp! There it is!
posted by frecklefaerie at 8:11 AM on February 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

A link to the Python sketch listed in zamboni's TV Tropes list, because transcription doesn't do it justice.
posted by troywestfield at 8:49 AM on February 17, 2012

Burn Notice does a few things like this-- not numbered, but the protagonist Michael Weston gives voice-over advice of how spies handle this or that while onscreen the characters assemble a contraption, or else Michael turns the tables on a bad situation with unexpected tactics.

There's also "Moscow Rules" that appear all over spy fiction, supposedly based on true cold war rules. The Moscow ruleset is a set of behaviors for spying from within the most paranoid environment imaginable.

In series 4 of the Britcom "The I.T. Crowd," Moss is challenged to a game of "Street Countdown," a rough-n-tumble version of the (real life) TV Game show in which brainy contestants are challenged by difficult anagrams and math puzzles. They parody fight club: "The First Rule of Street Countdown....is that you really must try and tell as many people as possible about it-- it's a rather fun game and the more people you tell about it, the better!"
posted by Sunburnt at 4:23 PM on February 17, 2012

Awesome! Thank you metafilter.

I promise to use this list of rules for good and not evil.
posted by vegetableagony at 4:56 PM on February 18, 2012

Sorry this is late, but its one of my favorites from the Andy Griffith Show from Barney:

"Here at 'the Rock,' we have two basic rules. Memorize them so you can say them in your sleep. Rule One: Obey all rules! Second, do not write on the walls...as it takes a lot of work...to erase writing...off of walls.
posted by PJMoore at 6:06 AM on February 19, 2012