Just get on with it?
February 6, 2012 11:37 AM Subscribe
How do you go on with the normal (and especially the more trivial) activities of your life when you know large numbers of people, including young children, are being murdered on a large scale right now in Syria? Do you just make a conscious choice to process and then compartmentalize it for the rest of the day? How do you cope?
I was just logging into the BBC web site to follow live text of a soccer match when the story about the shelling in Homs caught my eye. I obviously feel quite disturbed by it, and it seems so trite to now just switch my attention back to some meaningless football match. What do you do to cope with the knowledge that atrocities are occurring right now in the world while you sit in a safe, fairly comfortable and privileged existence? Is there a way normal people compartmentalize this? How do I prevent it from ruining my day, and should I even try?
I was just logging into the BBC web site to follow live text of a soccer match when the story about the shelling in Homs caught my eye. I obviously feel quite disturbed by it, and it seems so trite to now just switch my attention back to some meaningless football match. What do you do to cope with the knowledge that atrocities are occurring right now in the world while you sit in a safe, fairly comfortable and privileged existence? Is there a way normal people compartmentalize this? How do I prevent it from ruining my day, and should I even try?
Compartmentalize. Otherwise I would have died of rage, helplessness and grief decades ago.
I do what I can, when confronted with news like this. Usually it's something terribly small and seemingly pointless - write letters, make facebook posts, donate money, etc. But I also force myself to acknowledge that I can't actually make the Syrian government stop what it's doing. I couldn't stop the Rwandan killings. I mean, there is literally nothing I can do to end it.
So the choices are: do nothing, curl up in a fetal ball of rage and helplessness; do something, no matter how minor and stupid-seeming, and then keep getting up and doing it again.
posted by rtha at 11:44 AM on February 6, 2012 [3 favorites]
I do what I can, when confronted with news like this. Usually it's something terribly small and seemingly pointless - write letters, make facebook posts, donate money, etc. But I also force myself to acknowledge that I can't actually make the Syrian government stop what it's doing. I couldn't stop the Rwandan killings. I mean, there is literally nothing I can do to end it.
So the choices are: do nothing, curl up in a fetal ball of rage and helplessness; do something, no matter how minor and stupid-seeming, and then keep getting up and doing it again.
posted by rtha at 11:44 AM on February 6, 2012 [3 favorites]
Well.... um.
Great tragedy is nothing new. It happens on nearly a daily basis. And if we focused on it to the exclusion of all else we would be paralyzed and unable to move. The best thing to do? Perhaps do something concrete locally. The phrase think globally act locally is apt. Make where you live a better place for those that need assistance.
You can't save all the starfish, but the ones at your feet.
posted by edgeways at 11:45 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]
Great tragedy is nothing new. It happens on nearly a daily basis. And if we focused on it to the exclusion of all else we would be paralyzed and unable to move. The best thing to do? Perhaps do something concrete locally. The phrase think globally act locally is apt. Make where you live a better place for those that need assistance.
You can't save all the starfish, but the ones at your feet.
posted by edgeways at 11:45 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]
When I get in this loop, I remember "Think Globally, Act Locally". Children are being murdered here in the US, so what can you do for them? I'm thinking about becoming a CASA volunteer for this reason.
posted by Leezie at 11:47 AM on February 6, 2012
posted by Leezie at 11:47 AM on February 6, 2012
The fact is that mere knowledge of terrible things happening to distant people is not sufficiently upsetting to most people to put a serious dent in their day - perhaps a serious dent in their hour, but that's it. We deeply care about those within one of the concentric groups to which we belong, the closer to ourselves the more we care. So I care as much as its possible to care about my kid and my spouse, and I care a whole lot about someone in my extended-family/village/tribe/what-have-you.
Someone who doesn't share any circle other than "humanity" with me is not going to get some visceral reaction, at least not unless I see pictures or video or audio, something that will connect to some basic primordial instinct for compassion. If that "compassion organ" isn't activated, the most that will be mustered is a kind of abstract empathy - which is far from the disabling power of grief.
It is what it is, and if it were otherwise, we would all be permanently in mourning, and/or ready to go to war.
posted by tempythethird at 11:52 AM on February 6, 2012 [3 favorites]
Someone who doesn't share any circle other than "humanity" with me is not going to get some visceral reaction, at least not unless I see pictures or video or audio, something that will connect to some basic primordial instinct for compassion. If that "compassion organ" isn't activated, the most that will be mustered is a kind of abstract empathy - which is far from the disabling power of grief.
It is what it is, and if it were otherwise, we would all be permanently in mourning, and/or ready to go to war.
posted by tempythethird at 11:52 AM on February 6, 2012 [3 favorites]
Can you clarify what, precisely, is bothering you about Syria?
I mean, is it the large-scale intentionality of it? Or just the deaths? Something else? I ask not to be crass, but because I have different ways of dealing with things depending on what exactly bugs me about a given situation.
posted by aramaic at 11:53 AM on February 6, 2012
I mean, is it the large-scale intentionality of it? Or just the deaths? Something else? I ask not to be crass, but because I have different ways of dealing with things depending on what exactly bugs me about a given situation.
posted by aramaic at 11:53 AM on February 6, 2012
Response by poster:
Can you clarify what, precisely, is bothering you about Syria?
I mean, is it the large-scale intentionality of it? Or just the deaths? Something else? I ask not to be crass, but because I have different ways of dealing with things depending on what exactly bugs me about a given situation.
Sure. I get that there is suffering on a large scale going on all over the place at all hours, situations in Africa and India easily come to mind, and I'm also aware there are ongoing wars elsewhere, where innocent people are getting killed.
I guess the situation in Syria, and other times I have experienced this feeling, has to do with the immediate, concreteness of the events. The idea that as I agonize over a soccer ball missing the goal by a yard, large numbers of innocent people are being blown to bits, indiscriminately...it just makes it very hard to focus, and not, at least figuratively: "curl up in a fetal ball of rage and helplessness," as rtha put it. I find this sort of thing much harder to compartmentalize than "starvation in Africa" or "reports of civilian deaths in Pakistan", even though the scale here is smaller.
posted by the foreground at 12:05 PM on February 6, 2012
Can you clarify what, precisely, is bothering you about Syria?
I mean, is it the large-scale intentionality of it? Or just the deaths? Something else? I ask not to be crass, but because I have different ways of dealing with things depending on what exactly bugs me about a given situation.
Sure. I get that there is suffering on a large scale going on all over the place at all hours, situations in Africa and India easily come to mind, and I'm also aware there are ongoing wars elsewhere, where innocent people are getting killed.
I guess the situation in Syria, and other times I have experienced this feeling, has to do with the immediate, concreteness of the events. The idea that as I agonize over a soccer ball missing the goal by a yard, large numbers of innocent people are being blown to bits, indiscriminately...it just makes it very hard to focus, and not, at least figuratively: "curl up in a fetal ball of rage and helplessness," as rtha put it. I find this sort of thing much harder to compartmentalize than "starvation in Africa" or "reports of civilian deaths in Pakistan", even though the scale here is smaller.
posted by the foreground at 12:05 PM on February 6, 2012
by being a cold, heartless bastard.
And by realizing that despite what sensational newsitems with blood & gore in HD would suggest, the levels of violence in the world have been going down in general over the last century or two.*
* citation needed
posted by HFSH at 12:09 PM on February 6, 2012
And by realizing that despite what sensational newsitems with blood & gore in HD would suggest, the levels of violence in the world have been going down in general over the last century or two.*
* citation needed
posted by HFSH at 12:09 PM on February 6, 2012
I've posted this two million times on askmefi (okay, maybe twice) but it means a lot to me and really does help me:
"Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it."
-The Talmud (also attributed to many other people, who probably read it in The Talmud)
posted by i_am_a_fiesta at 12:12 PM on February 6, 2012 [44 favorites]
"Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it."
-The Talmud (also attributed to many other people, who probably read it in The Talmud)
posted by i_am_a_fiesta at 12:12 PM on February 6, 2012 [44 favorites]
Some terrible things can probably be traced back to one person's actions. By doing an awesome job at the trivia in your life, you might very well be preventing a future war, or making it easier for people you might now even know to affect the situation by making the rest of their lives easier. That's about the best you can do.
Also, since you can't do much about Syria besides occasionally vote for some people who might attack it, you may want to read the news a bit less so you don't worry yourself needlessly.
posted by michaelh at 12:18 PM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]
Also, since you can't do much about Syria besides occasionally vote for some people who might attack it, you may want to read the news a bit less so you don't worry yourself needlessly.
posted by michaelh at 12:18 PM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]
Be as good a person as you can be in your own life, and where you see the chance to help, take it.
Caring does not mean shutting down your own life.
Also, remember that a lot of people in Syria are choosing to take on their government because they want freedom more than safety. You have to respect choices like that, even if they lead to distressing outcomes.
posted by bearwife at 12:21 PM on February 6, 2012 [3 favorites]
Caring does not mean shutting down your own life.
Also, remember that a lot of people in Syria are choosing to take on their government because they want freedom more than safety. You have to respect choices like that, even if they lead to distressing outcomes.
posted by bearwife at 12:21 PM on February 6, 2012 [3 favorites]
The 24 hour new cycle and global telecommunications is making people think that these starfish are the ones at our feet. It feel immediate. It has invaded our homes, in a way. We carry it around with us now in our pockets. Our lives now have a permanent news ticker running along at our feet reminding us of all these issues on a constant basis. The stories are so personal.
But these starfish aren't at our feet. We can't just reach down and pick them up and fling them back into the ocean. They are thousands upon thousands of miles away, and our aid is often years away.
I get up and go to work every day by remembering my limitations. I also remind myself that I'm no good to anyone else if I don't take care of myself. So I try to remain as "with it" as possible, so that if/when I am able to render assistance, I am available to do so.
posted by jph at 12:33 PM on February 6, 2012 [2 favorites]
But these starfish aren't at our feet. We can't just reach down and pick them up and fling them back into the ocean. They are thousands upon thousands of miles away, and our aid is often years away.
I get up and go to work every day by remembering my limitations. I also remind myself that I'm no good to anyone else if I don't take care of myself. So I try to remain as "with it" as possible, so that if/when I am able to render assistance, I am available to do so.
posted by jph at 12:33 PM on February 6, 2012 [2 favorites]
Act locally, be the change you want to see etc absolutely. But also I think one of the few types of international action that you can do now and you can know isn't just symbolic is still the Amnesty International letter. Within their strict mandate, Amnesty's methods do make a difference in getting individual people safer and freer.
posted by runincircles at 12:35 PM on February 6, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by runincircles at 12:35 PM on February 6, 2012 [2 favorites]
Do something.
Obviously, don't get on a plane and go to Syria, but find some way that you can help with humanitarian issues in your community. For instance, many communities have local groups that help refugees from lots of war-torn regions.
Being involved on some level is the best way I've found of dealing with that overwhelmed "the world is a horrible place filled with suffering and there's nothing I can do about it" feeling. If all you can do time-wise is contribute financially, that's great, but there's nothing like having something manageable and concrete to do.
posted by lunasol at 12:50 PM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]
Obviously, don't get on a plane and go to Syria, but find some way that you can help with humanitarian issues in your community. For instance, many communities have local groups that help refugees from lots of war-torn regions.
Being involved on some level is the best way I've found of dealing with that overwhelmed "the world is a horrible place filled with suffering and there's nothing I can do about it" feeling. If all you can do time-wise is contribute financially, that's great, but there's nothing like having something manageable and concrete to do.
posted by lunasol at 12:50 PM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]
One thing that has helped me is to realize that while there's next to nothing I can do about the violence in Syria, I can (and should) do something about the millions of random, unnecessary deaths that occur due to preventable and/or treatable dieases in developing countries.
Take bednets for instance. They're cheap, they're effective in preventing malaria, and there's a huge unmet need for them. And, by donating to places like the Against Malaria Foundation you can help get more of them to people. It seems relevant to mention a piece of news that hasn't received nearly the same attention as the violence in Syria but that I find just as shocking: A new study out in The Lancet just a few days ago found that malaria kills about twice as many people as previous studies had estimated--about 1.2 million people each year.
posted by sashapearl at 12:59 PM on February 6, 2012
Take bednets for instance. They're cheap, they're effective in preventing malaria, and there's a huge unmet need for them. And, by donating to places like the Against Malaria Foundation you can help get more of them to people. It seems relevant to mention a piece of news that hasn't received nearly the same attention as the violence in Syria but that I find just as shocking: A new study out in The Lancet just a few days ago found that malaria kills about twice as many people as previous studies had estimated--about 1.2 million people each year.
posted by sashapearl at 12:59 PM on February 6, 2012
Reminds me of this comment from the thread on babies dying after being forgotten in cars by their parents. I think of this all the time when trying to reconcile the mundane (or even sublime) with the base and horrifying:
Life is heartless and swift. It turns on you in an instant. . . Life has its pleasures, but in the same world where you just got this fabulous raise or a really great handjob, there was a baby who died from baking in a car and before she died she pulled out all of her hair in agony.
Frankly, I don't know how face it.
posted by stinker at 1:02 PM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]
Life is heartless and swift. It turns on you in an instant. . . Life has its pleasures, but in the same world where you just got this fabulous raise or a really great handjob, there was a baby who died from baking in a car and before she died she pulled out all of her hair in agony.
Frankly, I don't know how face it.
posted by stinker at 1:02 PM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]
You get on with your life because that's all you can do, and you live your life doing as much good as you can, and as little bad. I am very affected by stories about children being hurt/tortured and find it hard to put them from my mind, but all I can realistically do (apart from hunting down the perps and torturing them, vigilante style) is to ensure the children in my sphere of influence - my kids, neighbour kids, friends and relos kids - are as safe as I can make them, and listen if they need help, and I do metta meditation. It's not much. But what else can you do? In your case, maybe joining Amnesty, and doing loving-kindness meditation, if you feel like that helps.
posted by thylacinthine at 1:09 PM on February 6, 2012
posted by thylacinthine at 1:09 PM on February 6, 2012
The fact that this has upset you is a sign of your compassion. This is a good thing.
And the way that you cope with knowing that people far away, whom you are not in an immediate position to help, is by remembering that -- their own tragedies do not affect the people who DO depend on your help. Children, pets, spouses, loved ones, your own self -- these are lives who do depend on your pulling it together and taking care of them. And sometimes that way to take care of yourself may involve some escapism, so you can rest your brain and recharge it.
Because you and the ones around you are your first priority. It feels impotent in the enormity of what happened -- but you are just one person, and it is all you can do. If you want to honor the people in Syria who have died, honor them by living a full life on their behalf. If you are mourning the deprived freedom they have, embrace the freedom YOU have. The dead do not want the living to squander our lives; the dead know how precious life is, and how it should not be wasted.
Focus on the ones close to you, who you can and DO take care of every day; and don't forget that you are one of those people. Once you and yours are strong enough and stable and secure, if you have any physical, mental, and emotional strength left over, THEN you can help those further away.
This is something my cat taught me in the first few days after 9/11, when I was getting catatonic with worry and fretting and wondering about the what-ifs to the point that I was forgetting to feed myself and care for myself -- sooner or later the little putz would come over and shout at me because I wasn't feeding him, and it was the best possible reminder to pick up and move on -- yes, I'd seen thousands of people die, I was smelling the smoke daily, but that was a reminder that "Okay, yeah, they died, but you didn't. And so you still have a responsibility to take care of you and a couple others. Focus on that." And if focusing on that was able to get me past freaking out about chaos outside my kitchen window, it will most likely get you past freaking out about chaos you've read about thousands of miles away.
It's like they say on airlines -- put on your own oxygen mask first before helping others. You are not going to be any good to the people of Syria if you're not taking care of the ones you are immediately close to first (including yourself). Tend to them first. Then move outward.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:11 PM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]
And the way that you cope with knowing that people far away, whom you are not in an immediate position to help, is by remembering that -- their own tragedies do not affect the people who DO depend on your help. Children, pets, spouses, loved ones, your own self -- these are lives who do depend on your pulling it together and taking care of them. And sometimes that way to take care of yourself may involve some escapism, so you can rest your brain and recharge it.
Because you and the ones around you are your first priority. It feels impotent in the enormity of what happened -- but you are just one person, and it is all you can do. If you want to honor the people in Syria who have died, honor them by living a full life on their behalf. If you are mourning the deprived freedom they have, embrace the freedom YOU have. The dead do not want the living to squander our lives; the dead know how precious life is, and how it should not be wasted.
Focus on the ones close to you, who you can and DO take care of every day; and don't forget that you are one of those people. Once you and yours are strong enough and stable and secure, if you have any physical, mental, and emotional strength left over, THEN you can help those further away.
This is something my cat taught me in the first few days after 9/11, when I was getting catatonic with worry and fretting and wondering about the what-ifs to the point that I was forgetting to feed myself and care for myself -- sooner or later the little putz would come over and shout at me because I wasn't feeding him, and it was the best possible reminder to pick up and move on -- yes, I'd seen thousands of people die, I was smelling the smoke daily, but that was a reminder that "Okay, yeah, they died, but you didn't. And so you still have a responsibility to take care of you and a couple others. Focus on that." And if focusing on that was able to get me past freaking out about chaos outside my kitchen window, it will most likely get you past freaking out about chaos you've read about thousands of miles away.
It's like they say on airlines -- put on your own oxygen mask first before helping others. You are not going to be any good to the people of Syria if you're not taking care of the ones you are immediately close to first (including yourself). Tend to them first. Then move outward.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:11 PM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]
I don't think this is the kind of question that has a "right" answer--or even, in the end, a very helpful one. We deal with this kind of stuff pragmatically ("I can't possibly spend all my time weeping and wailing over all the terrible things happening in the world")--but from an ethical viewpoint that pragmatic restriction is meaningless.
From an ethical perspective, we should be outraged. From an ethical perspective we should do something. No one would fault you if you made this your life's cause. If you joined a committee to put pressure on politicians to act, say, or if you worked to try to support people protesting against Syria's government within Syria. That would all, clearly, be a perfectly "sane" response to the situation. Of course, we could point to a long, long list of other hideous outrages in the world that you weren't attending to and which, in fact, you were actively choosing not to spend time working on because of the time you were devoting to Syria.
Ethical demands are absolute, our lives and resources are finite: there's no way to square that circle. We will always fall short of some ideal version of ourselves.
posted by yoink at 1:28 PM on February 6, 2012 [4 favorites]
From an ethical perspective, we should be outraged. From an ethical perspective we should do something. No one would fault you if you made this your life's cause. If you joined a committee to put pressure on politicians to act, say, or if you worked to try to support people protesting against Syria's government within Syria. That would all, clearly, be a perfectly "sane" response to the situation. Of course, we could point to a long, long list of other hideous outrages in the world that you weren't attending to and which, in fact, you were actively choosing not to spend time working on because of the time you were devoting to Syria.
Ethical demands are absolute, our lives and resources are finite: there's no way to square that circle. We will always fall short of some ideal version of ourselves.
posted by yoink at 1:28 PM on February 6, 2012 [4 favorites]
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
posted by empath at 1:39 PM on February 6, 2012 [2 favorites]
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
posted by empath at 1:39 PM on February 6, 2012 [2 favorites]
Sounds like you are suffering from what one writer has called "existential guilt." Check out this article for more information. To ease these feelings (which are healthy, by the way!), the article suggests doing something to contribute to the "web" or "circle" of life. That is, basically recognizing that bad things have happened and suffering has existed since the beginning of time, and to make conscious choices 1-not to contribute directly to that suffering; and 2-to honor the circle of life.
(super cheesy anecdote, but whenever I feel existential guilt, I picture the part of Disney's The Lion King when "The Circle of Life" plays and all the animals come together to recognize the new and the old. This seems to sum up the method of dispelling such guilt pretty neatly.)
And um, of course, if something is really hitting home very powerfully for you, maybe it means that you are being called to take action! It's impossible to do this for each sad/horrifying/guiltifying atrocity that we learn of. But it seems that sometimes people become great when they are hit very powerfully by one certain thing and take action based on those feelings.
posted by angab at 1:40 PM on February 6, 2012
(super cheesy anecdote, but whenever I feel existential guilt, I picture the part of Disney's The Lion King when "The Circle of Life" plays and all the animals come together to recognize the new and the old. This seems to sum up the method of dispelling such guilt pretty neatly.)
And um, of course, if something is really hitting home very powerfully for you, maybe it means that you are being called to take action! It's impossible to do this for each sad/horrifying/guiltifying atrocity that we learn of. But it seems that sometimes people become great when they are hit very powerfully by one certain thing and take action based on those feelings.
posted by angab at 1:40 PM on February 6, 2012
And by realizing that despite what sensational newsitems with blood & gore in HD would suggest, the levels of violence in the world have been going down in general over the last century or two.*
* citation needed
* citation provided: Stephen Pinker's 2011 book, The Better Angels of our Nature argues that this is the case, not just over the past 200 years, but the past 10,000, and some suggestions as to why. (Amazon, NYT, MeFi).
(This may or may not help the OP figure out how to live while others suffer. To my mind - the question of how a person can go about their regular day-to-day stuff while others suffer terribly- yeah, that's just a really hard eternal question...)
posted by ManInSuit at 1:45 PM on February 6, 2012
* citation needed
* citation provided: Stephen Pinker's 2011 book, The Better Angels of our Nature argues that this is the case, not just over the past 200 years, but the past 10,000, and some suggestions as to why. (Amazon, NYT, MeFi).
(This may or may not help the OP figure out how to live while others suffer. To my mind - the question of how a person can go about their regular day-to-day stuff while others suffer terribly- yeah, that's just a really hard eternal question...)
posted by ManInSuit at 1:45 PM on February 6, 2012
I caught PTSD the old-fashioned way- being present at scenes of destruction. It is now possible to catch it from CNN.
What really helped me was volunteering at the local women's shelter. It didn't stop the siege of Sarajevo, but my crew of troubled veterans could get a beaten lady and her bruised kids and all their stuff out of a house in 90 minutes. It was very cathartic for us.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 2:03 PM on February 6, 2012 [5 favorites]
What really helped me was volunteering at the local women's shelter. It didn't stop the siege of Sarajevo, but my crew of troubled veterans could get a beaten lady and her bruised kids and all their stuff out of a house in 90 minutes. It was very cathartic for us.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 2:03 PM on February 6, 2012 [5 favorites]
I obviously feel quite disturbed by it, and it seems so trite to now just switch my attention back to some meaningless football match.
I propose a moderate approach. I agree, I think it's callous to read something like that, feel the way you feel, and then just go on with your trivial life. On the other hand, you have to be able to get by and keep on living. If every tragedy like this spun you completely off your orbit, you'd never eat again.
So why not, after reading something like that, take a moment and go donate money to the Red Cross/Crescent, Amnesty International, UNICEF, or some other organization you feel is up to the task of making this better? Or if you can't come up with any organization you think is helping in Syria, maybe choose a cause that you think falls on the side of good, in general?
If you don't have money to donate, maybe take this opportunity to volunteer in some capacity that could help Syria or bring good into the world?
If you can't do any of that, maybe take this opportunity to make change in the way you live your life. Maybe adopt a hobby that's more constructive than football. Maybe start taking a yoga or meditation course. Maybe just take some time in your day to be more mindful of the world around you.
posted by Sara C. at 2:05 PM on February 6, 2012
I propose a moderate approach. I agree, I think it's callous to read something like that, feel the way you feel, and then just go on with your trivial life. On the other hand, you have to be able to get by and keep on living. If every tragedy like this spun you completely off your orbit, you'd never eat again.
So why not, after reading something like that, take a moment and go donate money to the Red Cross/Crescent, Amnesty International, UNICEF, or some other organization you feel is up to the task of making this better? Or if you can't come up with any organization you think is helping in Syria, maybe choose a cause that you think falls on the side of good, in general?
If you don't have money to donate, maybe take this opportunity to volunteer in some capacity that could help Syria or bring good into the world?
If you can't do any of that, maybe take this opportunity to make change in the way you live your life. Maybe adopt a hobby that's more constructive than football. Maybe start taking a yoga or meditation course. Maybe just take some time in your day to be more mindful of the world around you.
posted by Sara C. at 2:05 PM on February 6, 2012
Go to the Amnesty International Syria page for your country and take whatever action they tell you to take.
This is your best immediate hope of usefully taking nonviolent direct action.
When you want to worry about it, pray. Prayer is always more effective than worry, and it also isn't mutually exclusive with taking nonviolent direct action.
The rest of the time, remember that you aren't going to help anyone by thinking about it.
posted by tel3path at 2:29 PM on February 6, 2012
This is your best immediate hope of usefully taking nonviolent direct action.
When you want to worry about it, pray. Prayer is always more effective than worry, and it also isn't mutually exclusive with taking nonviolent direct action.
The rest of the time, remember that you aren't going to help anyone by thinking about it.
posted by tel3path at 2:29 PM on February 6, 2012
If you can, donate blood. It won't be sent to Syria, but people in your community need help, too.
posted by Carol Anne at 3:37 PM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Carol Anne at 3:37 PM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]
Decide what you can do, and do it, and maybe a little bit more. Give what you can where you think it will help, write to your legislators, etc. Thank you for not being jaded and cynical.
posted by theora55 at 5:51 PM on February 6, 2012
posted by theora55 at 5:51 PM on February 6, 2012
Do what you can for the people of Syria so that they can get back to worrying about football matches and their children's school plays and all the other little things that make life fun.
They would do the same for you if the positions were reversed. Nobody wants strangers to be miserable on their account--they just want the help that those strangers can give.
posted by Sidhedevil at 6:12 PM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]
They would do the same for you if the positions were reversed. Nobody wants strangers to be miserable on their account--they just want the help that those strangers can give.
posted by Sidhedevil at 6:12 PM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]
My antidote: www.kiva.org/lend
Every amount of $ helps - which is good for those of us with unimpressive salaries. It's a way to help folks reach concrete financial goals, one person, family or community group at a time.
Many of these people come from stunning poverty in struggling third-world nations. They just want a shot at turning their hard work into financial security.
The micro-loan repayment rate is nearly 99%.
posted by Kibby at 8:02 PM on February 6, 2012
Every amount of $ helps - which is good for those of us with unimpressive salaries. It's a way to help folks reach concrete financial goals, one person, family or community group at a time.
Many of these people come from stunning poverty in struggling third-world nations. They just want a shot at turning their hard work into financial security.
The micro-loan repayment rate is nearly 99%.
posted by Kibby at 8:02 PM on February 6, 2012
Another poem that helps me through thoughts like this:
A Brief for the Defense, by Jack Gilbert:
Sorrow everywhere. Slaughter everywhere. If babies
are not starving someplace, they are starving
somewhere else. With flies in their nostrils.
But we enjoy our lives because that's what God wants.
Otherwise the mornings before summer dawn would not
be made so fine. The Bengal tiger would not
be fashioned so miraculously well. The poor women
at the fountain are laughing together between
the suffering they have known and the awfulness
in their future, smiling and laughing while somebody
in the village is very sick. There is laughter
every day in the terrible streets of Calcutta,
and the women laugh in the cages of Bombay.
If we deny our happiness, resist our satisfaction,
we lessen the importance of their deprivation.
We must risk delight. We can do without pleasure,
but not delight. Not enjoyment. We must have
the stubbornness to accept our gladness in the ruthless
furnace of this world. To make injustice the only
measure of our attention is to praise the Devil.
If the locomotive of the Lord runs us down,
we should give thanks that the end had magnitude.
We must admit there will be music despite everything.
We stand at the prow again of a small ship
anchored late at night in the tiny port
looking over to the sleeping island: the waterfront
is three shuttered cafés and one naked light burning.
To hear the faint sound of oars in the silence as a rowboat
comes slowly out and then goes back is truly worth
all the years of sorrow that are to come.
posted by BusyBusyBusy at 9:19 PM on February 6, 2012 [3 favorites]
A Brief for the Defense, by Jack Gilbert:
Sorrow everywhere. Slaughter everywhere. If babies
are not starving someplace, they are starving
somewhere else. With flies in their nostrils.
But we enjoy our lives because that's what God wants.
Otherwise the mornings before summer dawn would not
be made so fine. The Bengal tiger would not
be fashioned so miraculously well. The poor women
at the fountain are laughing together between
the suffering they have known and the awfulness
in their future, smiling and laughing while somebody
in the village is very sick. There is laughter
every day in the terrible streets of Calcutta,
and the women laugh in the cages of Bombay.
If we deny our happiness, resist our satisfaction,
we lessen the importance of their deprivation.
We must risk delight. We can do without pleasure,
but not delight. Not enjoyment. We must have
the stubbornness to accept our gladness in the ruthless
furnace of this world. To make injustice the only
measure of our attention is to praise the Devil.
If the locomotive of the Lord runs us down,
we should give thanks that the end had magnitude.
We must admit there will be music despite everything.
We stand at the prow again of a small ship
anchored late at night in the tiny port
looking over to the sleeping island: the waterfront
is three shuttered cafés and one naked light burning.
To hear the faint sound of oars in the silence as a rowboat
comes slowly out and then goes back is truly worth
all the years of sorrow that are to come.
posted by BusyBusyBusy at 9:19 PM on February 6, 2012 [3 favorites]
Watch Woody Allen movies. Comfort yourself in knowing that people have been dealing with the same questions you have for much longer, and aren't any closer to finding answers. Laugh.
posted by Smallpox at 10:05 AM on February 7, 2012
posted by Smallpox at 10:05 AM on February 7, 2012
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posted by Melismata at 11:39 AM on February 6, 2012 [20 favorites]