What's your current relationship with the first person you had sex with?
January 16, 2012 1:38 PM Subscribe
What's your current relationship with the first person you had sex with?
I ask because I recently got out of my first relationship. It lasted a few years, met in high school, we we're both each others first. ect.
Anyways it's been almost a months now since we broke up, but I'm still having a hard time handling it some days. I hate the thought of her sleeping with someone else, and I really don't know how I feel about myself moving on. I'm curious how common this feeling is, because I'm sure it's not uncommon.
Although it was rocky near the end, we ended it kind of mutually. Agreeing that we both had some growing up to do before a relationship could really work.
Anyways I'm interested in what other peoples story is with the person they lost their virginity to. Friends still? Married? Hate each other?
I ask because I recently got out of my first relationship. It lasted a few years, met in high school, we we're both each others first. ect.
Anyways it's been almost a months now since we broke up, but I'm still having a hard time handling it some days. I hate the thought of her sleeping with someone else, and I really don't know how I feel about myself moving on. I'm curious how common this feeling is, because I'm sure it's not uncommon.
Although it was rocky near the end, we ended it kind of mutually. Agreeing that we both had some growing up to do before a relationship could really work.
Anyways I'm interested in what other peoples story is with the person they lost their virginity to. Friends still? Married? Hate each other?
This post was deleted for the following reason: This is pretty heavy on the chatfilter end of things; if you're looking for some specific advise on your own situation, you need to frame this more about that rather than a general "tell me your stories" thing. -- cortex
it was twenty years ago, and we haven't spoken for almost 20 years. i imagine there will be a lot of answers like this one.
posted by radiosilents at 1:41 PM on January 16, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by radiosilents at 1:41 PM on January 16, 2012 [2 favorites]
We haven't spoken in almost two years. I'd say it took at least a year and a half for it to stop hurting like crazy. Give it more time and you'll feel a lot better.
posted by Pericardium at 1:44 PM on January 16, 2012
posted by Pericardium at 1:44 PM on January 16, 2012
Married 13 years and thankful for every day. :)
posted by BurntHombre at 1:44 PM on January 16, 2012
posted by BurntHombre at 1:44 PM on January 16, 2012
None at all. She was a friend of a friend; we had a long distance relationship for a while, then both started dating locals and never really talked again.
I also have no relationship with the second person I slept with. Nor the third. Nor the fourth. Nor the fifth. Still with the sixth, for about ten years now.
I don't have a bad relationship with any of those people — I dated each of them for a while and we broke up for a variety of reasons. The last time I spoke with each of them, we were still on good terms (except number two).
The reason I'm answering your question is because I'd like to emphasize that most people don't really have much of a relationship with people they used to sleep with after a year or so out. It's a big world, there are a lot of people in it, and the person who tends to matter is the one you're currently sleeping with (or maybe the last person you slept with), not your first so much.
(As a side note, this is perilously close to chatfilter — you're not really giving us a problem to solve, outside of some general mopery needing comfort.)
posted by klangklangston at 1:44 PM on January 16, 2012 [1 favorite]
I also have no relationship with the second person I slept with. Nor the third. Nor the fourth. Nor the fifth. Still with the sixth, for about ten years now.
I don't have a bad relationship with any of those people — I dated each of them for a while and we broke up for a variety of reasons. The last time I spoke with each of them, we were still on good terms (except number two).
The reason I'm answering your question is because I'd like to emphasize that most people don't really have much of a relationship with people they used to sleep with after a year or so out. It's a big world, there are a lot of people in it, and the person who tends to matter is the one you're currently sleeping with (or maybe the last person you slept with), not your first so much.
(As a side note, this is perilously close to chatfilter — you're not really giving us a problem to solve, outside of some general mopery needing comfort.)
posted by klangklangston at 1:44 PM on January 16, 2012 [1 favorite]
It's been almost 15 years for us, we check up via e-mail about once a year, or whenever something reminds us about the other, which still works out to about once a year.
posted by hwyengr at 1:45 PM on January 16, 2012
posted by hwyengr at 1:45 PM on January 16, 2012
Was newly fifteen years ago, and yeah, no contact in nearly as long. This feels kinda chatfiltery, as I suspect most folks will have one of a few personal anecdotes along similar lines. Most of us, to stretch and speak to your question(ish) about moving on: you just move on. It is not a huge deal in most people's lives in the longer term.
posted by ellF at 1:45 PM on January 16, 2012
posted by ellF at 1:45 PM on January 16, 2012
I don't think the fact that she's your first has anything at all to do with how you're feeling. What you're going through is typical after any break-up. I'm guessing that this is your first real relationship, which is the more relevant "first" in this case.
But to answer your question, we broke up 12 years ago and we play Words with Friends on Facebook and that's about the extent of it.
posted by amro at 1:45 PM on January 16, 2012
But to answer your question, we broke up 12 years ago and we play Words with Friends on Facebook and that's about the extent of it.
posted by amro at 1:45 PM on January 16, 2012
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by brownrd at 1:41 PM on January 16, 2012