Phone Sex!

June 17, 2005 9:22 AM

I want to work as a Phone Sex operator. Your advice, please.

Which phone sex contractors (pimps?) have the best reputation? What's the money like? What kind of time commitments? Do they provide scripts or training? How freaking weird will the calls be? Can a person do this without needing a centralized/popularized contractor? And, hell, tell me anything else you know, links, habits, experiences, whatever.

And, yes, I am wanting actual serious answers.

posted by five fresh fish to work & money (22 comments total)

Do you love cock, or can you pretend to love cock on demand?

If you do not, phone sex is the wrong industry for you.
posted by Jairus at 9:32 AM on June 17, 2005

I was actually considering doing this myself the other night, the general consensus is my voice is sexy/creepy.

Just make sure you have a sexy voice. I can imagine the calls would be insanely odd, let's roleplay.

"So. i want your dick in my eat baby"
posted by AMWKE at 9:37 AM on June 17, 2005

I had a friend who did this for a while. She was a gal and she had incoming calls from guys. I'm not sure if you want to do calls for only women, or also M2M, but that might significantly affect how you go about it.

Basically she worked with a company whose name I can't remember [email me and I'll give you her contact info] and had certain hours she was by the phone, any phone. She told them what her call-in number was and they would route calls to her, so she could work from anyplace. The money was good but not excellent [I'm thinking in the $20/hour range, I may be off but not by too much, it might be less] and I think she was hourly even though callers paid by the minute, it's a bit of a racket, no surprise.

Usually callers would suggest something and she would go from there. Sometimes she had to do the work of thinking up some sort of suitable masturbation fantasy. A lot of the "work" of phone sex is about acting and fantasy maintenance and keeping people on the phone while they masturbate. It's certainly not for everyone, and I honestly don't know what the M2M or female-straight call-in scene is like. Here are a few more first-hand guides and essays.

Phone Sex: A Masturbation Accessory For Your Ears
Confessions of a Former Phone Sex Operator
Phone Sex FAQ from alt.sex [mostly for callers]
Phone Sex BBS for workers and callers and employers
posted by jessamyn at 9:40 AM on June 17, 2005 [1 favorite has favorites]

I have an acquaintance from high school who worked as a "phone psychic" for a while. The general picture was similar to the ones above: take calls from anywhere, get paid by the hour, etc. His structure revolved largely around repeat business, and I think he got paid extra when people that initially called for him called back, even if they spoke with someone else; I don't know if all lines of dialogue have the same tendencies. The phone psychics do have to have a general belief (delusion, if you prefer) that they can see the potential outcome of events, though when pressed, he evaded questions about whether he actually considered himself psychic.
posted by werty at 10:03 AM on June 17, 2005

Ah, dear, I'll have to 'fess up: I asked the question for a female friend of mine, who has a sexy voice and rambunctious attitude toward sex.

So: female, check; loves cock, check; sexy voice, check.

Now in the interest of providing her the best advice, as she is seriously considering doing this as a supplemental income, what should she know?
posted by five fresh fish at 10:28 AM on June 17, 2005

It couldn't hurt to get familiar with the protocol of a Relay Call. It happens, occaisionally. (ex-relay operator, not phone sex, sorry.)
posted by rfordh at 10:43 AM on June 17, 2005

I had a friend who took a class which coaches people on how to be the bestest phone sexiest lady ever. I'm pretty sure she saw the ad in a local alternative weekly. Maybe your friend can go through on of those? In my opinion (I've had several friends in the sex industry) you can set up on your own, but for women it seems to be a more positive experience to work for a localized office, or a service that does relay. If she wants more info, she can probably check into the local dungeons.
posted by mrs.pants at 11:00 AM on June 17, 2005

The book Obscene Profits talks about what is involved from the business side of things. Do note that the book is about 5 years old which is of course a lifetime in this industry. In short, my memories suggest that you can do this alone but you definitely will have a hard go (upfront costs, advertising, differentiating yourself from all the others).
posted by mmascolino at 11:15 AM on June 17, 2005

Well the idea so far isn't "doing it alone" but to find ... I guess it's called a "relay" service that handles all the technical and billing and marketing end of things; while she just picks up the phone and talks dirty to lonely men.
posted by five fresh fish at 11:50 AM on June 17, 2005

I dated a 'phone worker' for a while.

You don't just have to 'love cock' you have to love every kind of perverted sex there is and have no qualms about speaking bluntly about it.

I woke up once with her on the phone with one of her 'regulars' and listened to her pounding her fist into her open hand (simulating him punching her in the face), good times, good times.

On the lighter side, she used to 'provide service' while cooking dinner, cleaning the tub and yes, on more than one occasion actually having sex, though that was rare and distracting and actually against her company's policies.

The ability to perform on demand (even upon waking from a deep sleep) can't be all that common.

If your friend is going to work for a service she should be prepared to deal with significant others and their ability to either not be present or be present and remain perfectly silent and uninvolved...see above policies.
posted by m@ at 12:22 PM on June 17, 2005

Okay, well I am actually **gasp** a phone sex operator.

I started out doing it part time, just to earn some extra cash at night, while working at a soulless corporate job. It's sometimes fun and sometimes creepy, but working at home in comfy clothes and writing off things like a new laptop as a business expense turned out to be a lot of fun. I have been doing this full time for over a year now.

There are a lot of very disreputable companies out there that pay sporadically or rip you off. It's crucial to get in with a good company that has a decent rate of pay and enough of a client base to get you started. Feel free to PM me and I can refer you to some industry message boards as well as provide you information on various companies. Also, I can not say enough good things about Doxy of the Phone Slut Diary. She can give you an overview of what to expect in the industry.

Money does not pour in instantly. When you first start in the industry, it can really take several months to build up enough of a client base to be able to support yourself. You really need to have another mode of income while you're getting started. It's not unusual to only pull in $50 or so your first week, even though you're putting in 30-40 hours of availability. I've seen it happen to many girls. The biggest chunk of your income is going to come from regulars who call you repeatedly.

This business is largely about availability. You'll see a lot of girls who stay signed in & available for calls 80 or more hours. The longer you are signed in, the more calls you will get. When you start out, you may go several hours at a time without a call.

There are two basic types of companies in the industry: trolling & dispatch. A dispatch company does all of the work of bringing in new customers for you, they approve his credit card, and they transfer him to you. All you do is pick up the phone and talk. Pay rates for these types of companies rang from under $0.20 a minute to a high end of $0.50 a minute. If you just want to pick up your phone and chat, this is an option, but I think it's hard to make serious money without running yourself ragged.

Trolling companies typically pay about $1.00 a minute. Some of them require that you work chat rooms to bring in callers, post to newsgroups, have your own personal website designed or a variety of other things. The problem with this is, it is *very* hard to bring in completely new customers and many of these companies expect you to do all the work. Some trolling companies will dispatch the calls to you, others require you to have your own personal 800# and you have to authorize the caller's credit card. If you have an 800#, you will probably get a few prank calls a day.

In my opinion, the best option is to find a very well-established trolling company that already has a large client base. These companies can bring in quite a few calls for you but you will have to work with them. You will be required to write a profile for yourself, record a voice clip and probably be available in instant message for potential customers to chat with you prior to a call. I typically give a new guy 3-5 minutes of my time if he's interested in a call. I also spend a lot of time talking to my more chatty regulars in instant message as a courtesy.

Okay, the money. It's very hard to get somebody to give you a straight answer about this because it varies a lot. Right now I am pulling in about $1500 a week. I work for a few different companies, have a lot of availability, and some really amazing regulars. Many girls in the industry are happy if they bring in $500 a week. In addition to this, I get maybe $100 or so in presents a week.

You might also consider putting yourself up on www.niteflirt.com where you work for yourself. You do need to do advertising to bring in callers, but you don't have a boss to answer to and you can set your own hours and rate. They take something like 1/3 of what you charge and their system will bring in quite a few callers to you if you have a well-written profile.

You will probably receive some very basic training, usually more about how to take calls & work with the system. I would have given anything to have been able to have heard a real call before I started. No, no reputable companies have you work from scripts because callers hate them. If you buddy up with a PSO, she may be willing to let you do some 2 girl calls with her or listen in to some calls. Most companies do offer clients a 2 or 3 girl call option, and I've learned a lot from other girls.

Yes, the callers can be very, very strange. I have some guys who call just to get warm, intelligent conversation or for a basic sex call. I also get people requesting a lot of really strange stuff. Last week I had a gentleman who told me he would be delighted if I would kindly roast him. I'm now thinking of locking up my panty drawer after finding out how many guys steal girls' panties. The nice ones keep them, the rude ones put them back after wearing them.

You have to have a very open mind to succeed. Yes, you can limit yourself. You can say, for example, that you won't do any underage fantasies or non-consensual fantasies. But that still leaves you wide open to a fascinating array of other perversions. I have a man who wants me to turn into a werewolf, another guy who likes me to be a giant who squashes miniature men, and another who...well, asked me to do dirty things with the Father, the Son & the Holy Ghost. And the more you limit the type of calls you are willing to take, the more you limit the number of calls you will receive.

Turnover in the phone sex world is very high. A lot of girls think a sexy voice and the desire to earn money is enough...it's not. You have to be creative, hard-working, quick to think on your feet, intuitive (many guys want you to guess their random kink) and lucky enough to find a good place to start. You also have to have a very strong stomach. Intelligence and wit come in pretty handy, to.

Anyway, I think I'm just babbling at this point. Feel free to PM me or ask any other questions.
posted by diamondsky at 12:24 PM on June 17, 2005 [2 favorites has favorites]

Oh, I just thought of one other thing I wanted to add. Yes, a handful of girls are able to take calls while doing things like cooking or playing a computer game, but that's the exception rather than the rule. Most girls will tell you that their callers notice when you're distracted. If you want them to provide a fantastic call, the majority of calls (especially lengthy ones, which you want) require your entire attention so you can weave a complex and creative fantasy. My retention rate with callers triples if I go to the bedroom, shut the door and focus totally on what I'm doing.
posted by diamondsky at 12:28 PM on June 17, 2005

I knew there must be a phone sex worker on MeFi! Thank you, thank you!

I've forwarded the AskMe link to this thread to her, so I expect you'll be contacted. And, who knows, maybe this has got dozens of AskMefites contacting you!

Most excellent answer. Thanks, diamondsky.
posted by five fresh fish at 1:47 PM on June 17, 2005

er, looking at your user page, you don't list contact info.
posted by five fresh fish at 1:48 PM on June 17, 2005

I added it back in. Oops... :)
posted by diamondsky at 2:29 PM on June 17, 2005

It's hearsay but...a friend told me that her friend who used to do this in Ohio said that she regularly got calls from men who wanted her to act like a little girl. Regularly. It seems like dealing with all manner of perversions could get to you after awhile.

You could argue about whether acting out these guys' fantasies over the phone is putting out a fire or adding fuel to it, but it would definitely be disturbing work in any case.
posted by leapingsheep at 3:14 PM on June 17, 2005

Thanks Diamondsky, that was fascinating.

Straight people are very weird. (gays are perfectly normal and wholesome, of course).
posted by Goofyy at 1:32 AM on June 18, 2005

Hey everyone! I am also a PSO, have been doing it for a few months and just love it to death.

Not all companies pay hourly - in fact, many pay either by the minute or by the call. It's also in your best interest to try working on your own, atleast as a side business to working for your company. Check out http://psoboards.com for some great advice from a bunch of really smart women in the business. Also, try http://Niteflirt.com for one of the best places to "go on your own" so to speak.

Also, there are particular companies that have what's called a "taboo line", where they won't allow customers to talk about anything that's illegal (trust me, it happens a lot otherwise - most of my callers want young/incest fantasies). But like I said, if you work for a taboo line then you don't have to talk about incest, bestiality, rape, violent bdsm, kids, etc.... Oh, and to the "fuel to the fire" comment, there are PLENTY of threads on PSOboards where we argue about this, but all the research I've seen is that on average, atleast 30% of men have incestuous thoughts involving children or young girls, and less than 1% of these men will ever actually act on those thoughts with a real child. There has been no correlation made between the act of fantasizing about sex with a minor and the actual criminal offense. It's just like any other fantasy - I know women who enjoy playing out "rape" or force fantasies, but none of these women actually WANT to be raped. Usually it's simply the taboo nature of the fantasy that turns people on....

Anyway, I'll get off my tangent, LOL. If you're doing things for yourself on a place like Niteflirt, you make the call about what you talk about. At that point you may also want to consider getting yourself a website and promoting the heck out of it!

Anyway, check out the PSOboards for sure - the ladies (and a few guys) there are great, and even though things get a bit heated sometime, it's an amazing resource for the newbie or the seasoned veteran.....
posted by DecemberRaine at 1:57 AM on June 18, 2005 [1 favorite has favorites]

best answer ever, diamondsky, thanks


another who...well, asked me to do dirty things with the Father, the Son & the Holy Ghost

*runs off to Church, crossing himself*
posted by matteo at 1:51 PM on June 18, 2005

I have a man who wants me to turn into a werewolf, another guy who likes me to be a giant who squashes miniature men, and another who...well, asked me to do dirty things with the Father, the Son & the Holy Ghost.

I've got to wonder whether this information would qualify as "identifying." I mean, if I'm a guy who calls a phone-sex hotline asking girls to pretend they're squishing midgets and I read this account online, I don't know whether I'm likely to think, "Aw, she must be talking about someone else."

I'm not sure what's more odd: the idea that these fantasies are unique, or the possibility that they're not.
posted by cribcage at 12:24 AM on June 20, 2005

i worked as a PSO briefly. (it was for a crap company, i had to deal with a prudish roommate and i was desperate for cash at the time, and thus "briefly.") honestly, i'd consider it again, just for the interesting calls. and guess what, cribcage, they are SO not unique.

there was the guy who wanted me to pretend to be a horse eating a caramel apple. that's still my favorite. and no, cribcage, the "mini-man getting crushed" is waay more common than you'd think.

the worst part for me was realizing how many of these men had wives and girlfriends with whom they could share *nothing* of their fantasy lives. very very sad. there was more than one occasion when a caller had locked himself in the bathroom and i could hear his angry wife outside the door.

Doxy is the queen, IMO. offers the best advice there is out there. unfortunately, most of the boards are about the drama (business and personal) between owners and PSOs. generally annoying.
posted by RedEmma at 1:59 PM on June 21, 2005

what i meant to say is that if a caller were to read a PSO's basic description of a fantasy and see it as identifying info, they're underestimating how common their fantasy material really is.
posted by RedEmma at 2:09 PM on June 21, 2005