Troubled By The Lack of Data Rot in My Address Book
June 2, 2011 3:43 PM   Subscribe

A question about the weird phenomenon of computerized address books, and the fact that their data never fades or churns.

In the old days, address books were physical and were lost periodically, so you'd build them up anew. Now, everyone you've ever exchanged contacts with travels with you forever from computer to computer in an electronic black book. They're there forever, all on equal footing: every bad date, every dead-end, everyone who disappointed you or was disappointed by you. All the drift-offs, all the random people you were kind of friendly with for a while without quite knowing why. The result is a list that's even more weirdly artificial than a Facebook "friends" list.

This data once churned when we lost address books or started new ones. Now there's no churn. I will bring, to my death, the guy who mowed my lawn seventeen years ago, a number of girls who broke my heart (or just took advantage of me), and several hundred people I can't for the life of me identify.

Here's my actual question: whenever I peruse it, I feel appalled and depressed. So many names make me grimace. And I can't help wondering if this negative reaction is just me. Maybe other people find a walk through their decade-or-older address books a warm, happy, nostalgic experience. So which is it for you?
posted by Quisp Lover to Human Relations (8 answers total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: yeah I think this may need a rewrite with a question and less of a survey. No big deal, drop us a note if you have questions. -- jessamyn

 
I delete people that are dead, people I hate, people I don't care about, and all mods.
posted by tomswift at 3:49 PM on June 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


I have this whenever I look eye to eye with any such artifacts from my past. I just assumed it is a standard operating feature of Time and that there is a traumatic element in the irreversibility of the facts which precede the present. I doubt that this is any worse than it was in the past, but we might be worse now at handling the trauma. Modernity equips the individual with few tools to handle the infinite contingency of being.
posted by TwelveTwo at 3:49 PM on June 2, 2011


Response by poster: "This is chatfilter"

I'm not sure what chatfilter is, but if that's a section where this should have been posted, please delete and I'll figure out how to do that.
posted by Quisp Lover at 3:52 PM on June 2, 2011


Response by poster: Probably better to delete in any case. I see that even though I attempted to ask a very specific question, people are going to riff generally on the issue. Which is fine, but doesn't answer my question. So maybe it needs a rewrite.
posted by Quisp Lover at 3:53 PM on June 2, 2011


I don't know, there's still churn in my life. When I got my first iPhone I failed to transfer contacts from my old phone, and I lost some of them forever. I keep trying to keep a reliable Christmas card list, and somehow I am always missing addresses. People still move that you don't talk to very often, and then your info is faulty.
posted by cabingirl at 3:54 PM on June 2, 2011


This is a fascinating topic and I'd be sad to see it deleted. Much of recent technology has been about outsourcing activities that used to be handled by people's brains and there have to be consequences for this. I agree with the sense that data can haunt someone, but I'll end my comment here to get in before the deletion.
posted by 2bucksplus at 3:57 PM on June 2, 2011


It's chatfilter because there's no solution here. Your question is basically "I feel like this. How do you guys feel?" which isn't what AskMe is for. It might make more sense if you wanted to know how you can overcome the distasteful feeling you get when perusing your address book, a solution to which might be "Prune your address book so those entries aren't there to bug you anymore."
posted by katillathehun at 3:58 PM on June 2, 2011


Response by poster: Right, katillathehun, but that is, of course, 1. a "duh", and 2. not what I'm asking.

If I could repost (either here or in "chatfilter"), it'd be simply:

"When you browse through your address book (which, presumably, contains lots of names of people you're no longer in touch with), do you find yourself grimacing and feeling appalled? Or is that just me, and I'm some sort of misanthrope who ends relationships badly?"
posted by Quisp Lover at 4:00 PM on June 2, 2011


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