How do Icelandic surname conventions work for same-sex couples?

February 13, 2011 11:30 AM

Icelandic naming conventions and same-sex couples' children.

So I understand that the Icelandic convention is to attach the father's name as the surname to his sons and the mother's name to her daughters. What's evolved (or evolving) for cases such as the typical lesbian-couple-with-donor? Do daughters take the birth mother's name? So sons take the donor's name, the birth mother, or the non-birth mother?

posted by rodgerd to Society & Culture (8 answers total)

In this Icelandic crime novel I read, the daughter of an mother receives the "dottir" variation of her mother's name as her own. A note in the back of the book says that this style is naming is rare, but not unheard of.
posted by Ideal Impulse at 11:41 AM on February 13, 2011

I am not an expert in Icelandic naming conventions (and it would be awesome if one came along), but my understanding is that traditional Icelandic naming is patronymic, with all children regardless of gender using the modified father's name as the last name. However, as in other countries where gender equality has risen in recent years, some families have chosen to eschew the traditional practices in favor of mixed or matronymic naming. Same-sex couples would similarly decide how they want their children named, and they choose a wide variety of different practices.
posted by decathecting at 11:41 AM on February 13, 2011

So I understand that the Icelandic convention is to attach the father's name as the surname to his sons and the mother's name to her daughters.

You are somewhat off. The Icelandic convention is to give the patronymic (a name based on one's father's name) to offspring of both genders. Sons get father's name plus -sson and daughters get father's name plus -dóttir. See here.

In the situation you're describing, I imagine same-sex couples would try to create "matronymics" based on the name of one of the parents, or perhaps the birth mother or something.
posted by Nomyte at 11:46 AM on February 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

Some Icelandic people have matronymics already, generally when they are the children of single mothers who don't have a relationship with the father. Presumably when two women are mothers together, they choose which person's matronym the children will have.
posted by Sidhedevil at 12:05 PM on February 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

Let's look at Björk, for instance. Björk's patronymic is Guðmundsdóttir, after her father, Guðmundur Gunnarsson. Her son's name is Sindri Eldon Thórsson, after his father, Thór Eldon (bassist in the Sugarcubes). Her daughter's name is Ísadóra Bjarkardóttir Barney, because Matthew Barney is not an Icelander and thus has a surname to give his child rather than a patronymic, so she also has Björk's matronymic.

Remember that in Iceland these are not surnames; people are listed in phone books, etc., by their first names.
posted by Sidhedevil at 12:11 PM on February 13, 2011 [3 favorites]

I'm Icelandic. Matronyms are uncommon, but have been getting more common in recent years. In the male same sex couples with children I know of the child receives the patronym of the biological father. In female same sex couples with children, the child receives the matronym of the biological mother. I don't know for sure what the situation is with the same-sex couples that adopt, but I'd assume that the child receives the patro- or matronym of one of the parents.

However, some people do style themselves after both parents, which is done in one of two ways. Example: Jóhann has a mother named Inga and a father named Þorkell. He can have the name Jóhann Inguson Þorkellsson (the middle name is the matronym, the last name is the patronym) or he can have the name Jóhann Ingu- og Þorkellsson ("og" means "and" so in effect he's named "Inga's and Þorkell's son).

The child of a same sex couple could therefore have the matro- or patronym of one parent, or both.
posted by Kattullus at 1:28 PM on February 13, 2011 [9 favorites]

Another Icelander here. The earliest example of a matronymic in the Icelandic tradition that I can think of off the top of my head is pretty damn old: Loki Laufeyjarson. I'm not actually sure in which sources he is referred to thus and I'm disinclined to do the research. In any case, it would be pretty bizarre for a lesbian couple to use the patronymic based on a sperm donor.
posted by Zero Gravitas at 5:04 PM on February 13, 2011

And whatever choice they go with, I doubt that the donor's name would be included, as that person would not be considered a parent.
posted by Ellemeno at 10:35 PM on February 13, 2011