Multifaith alternatives to Sunday school and/or catechism?
February 5, 2011 11:19 AM Subscribe
Are there "multifaith" alternatives to Sunday school and/or catechism?
My wife and I recently had our first child. She is a non-practicing Catholic, and I am a confirmed Lutheran who has not been to church in about 15 years with no desire to go back.
Recently both of our sets of parents have been hassling us to get the kid baptized, a request which we would be happy to accommodate if a church was willing to perform the service for us without requiring membership or commitment. That is a whole separate issue, but the larger concern in our minds after living through this process is how we want to raise our child from a religious standpoint.
We have both decided that we do not want to indoctrinate our child under a specific religion, but the alternative seems to be no religious education at all which is also not acceptable to us. In a perfect world, I would like to be able to take our child to some kind of multifaith program, so that when he is able to make sense of everything he can choose for himself A, B, C, or none of the above.
Does anything like this exist? Where might I start looking? Is this just a DIY project?
Throwaway account: r.throwaway@gmail.com
My wife and I recently had our first child. She is a non-practicing Catholic, and I am a confirmed Lutheran who has not been to church in about 15 years with no desire to go back.
Recently both of our sets of parents have been hassling us to get the kid baptized, a request which we would be happy to accommodate if a church was willing to perform the service for us without requiring membership or commitment. That is a whole separate issue, but the larger concern in our minds after living through this process is how we want to raise our child from a religious standpoint.
We have both decided that we do not want to indoctrinate our child under a specific religion, but the alternative seems to be no religious education at all which is also not acceptable to us. In a perfect world, I would like to be able to take our child to some kind of multifaith program, so that when he is able to make sense of everything he can choose for himself A, B, C, or none of the above.
Does anything like this exist? Where might I start looking? Is this just a DIY project?
Throwaway account: r.throwaway@gmail.com
This is exactly the kind of thing that the Unitarian Church is really good at/for. You'd want to look into your local options, but I know the one in my town has weekly classes that focus on one religious view at a time, more in-depth and with discussion, in addition to a weekly sermon that incorporates ideas from different faiths.
http://www.uua.org/
posted by bizzyb at 11:26 AM on February 5, 2011 [2 favorites]
http://www.uua.org/
posted by bizzyb at 11:26 AM on February 5, 2011 [2 favorites]
Not a direct answer to your question but ...
My mom was Roman Catholic (and fast losing interest in keeping up appearances); my dad was Anglican but mostly atheist.
In order to keep the RC in-laws happy, I had to attend catechism classes once a week (sometimes on Sundays after church, sometimes midweek). This went on for about ten years (ages 5-15, by which point I bailed out of boredom more than anything else).
Anyway, to make a long story short, I am now damned glad I got that bit of Judeo-Christian education/indoctrination when I did. No, it didn't drive me, or guilt me (or anything me) creeping to the cross. Yes, it gave my some very useful grounding as to where this culture I'm in gets many of its values, de-values etc.
So yeah, I salute you in wanting your children to received some religious education. But also, if I'm any indication, I wouldn't sweat it too much in terms of where they get it from. Just don't dump them into a faith-specific school for thirty odd hours a week, or an overtly fundamentalist, intolerant extra-curricular situation.
posted by philip-random at 11:33 AM on February 5, 2011
My mom was Roman Catholic (and fast losing interest in keeping up appearances); my dad was Anglican but mostly atheist.
In order to keep the RC in-laws happy, I had to attend catechism classes once a week (sometimes on Sundays after church, sometimes midweek). This went on for about ten years (ages 5-15, by which point I bailed out of boredom more than anything else).
Anyway, to make a long story short, I am now damned glad I got that bit of Judeo-Christian education/indoctrination when I did. No, it didn't drive me, or guilt me (or anything me) creeping to the cross. Yes, it gave my some very useful grounding as to where this culture I'm in gets many of its values, de-values etc.
So yeah, I salute you in wanting your children to received some religious education. But also, if I'm any indication, I wouldn't sweat it too much in terms of where they get it from. Just don't dump them into a faith-specific school for thirty odd hours a week, or an overtly fundamentalist, intolerant extra-curricular situation.
posted by philip-random at 11:33 AM on February 5, 2011
Thirding the UUs--smart, ethical, ecumenical, as believy or secular as you want it to be. I've heard our local one called a Church Beyond Belief.
posted by fivesavagepalms at 11:42 AM on February 5, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by fivesavagepalms at 11:42 AM on February 5, 2011 [2 favorites]
Generally the point of baptism is to celebrate the inclusion of a new member into a Christian community, it sounds like this is not something you actually want for yourself or your child. If the rite of baptism is something you actually want then you will need to find a Christian community you would feel comfortable committing yourself and your child to. On that point I'll n'th everyone else in recommending UU as sounding perfect for you.
posted by Blasdelb at 12:54 PM on February 5, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by Blasdelb at 12:54 PM on February 5, 2011 [3 favorites]
Yeah. My friend and her poly household are all over the map religiously and the UUs are down with it-- Egyptian reconstructionist paganism? American religious witchcraft tradition? Celtic devotional path? Sure! My friend jokes that UU is her ancestral faith (Puritan).
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 12:55 PM on February 5, 2011
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 12:55 PM on February 5, 2011
Nthing the UUs. I grew up in a partially UU household (*), mostly because the UUs were the place where my socialist Catholic/Jewish grandparents felt comfortable after they married each other. I mean "socialist" literally, though, and I have to caution you that depending on the congregation, you may find some baggage that you're uncomfortable with. Definitely check out the various groups available to you, because it can be a Goldilocks thing. You may find yourself in a situation where the children's religious education program about other religions amounts to an hour a week of "why religion A is wrong and hateful and boring." You may find yourself forced to walk past six "OPEN MINDS REQUIRED" and "FREE THINKERS ONLY" signs just to get in the front door. You also may find a really comfy place - it's very (very very) diverse (**). Heck, if you like the signs, I can point you in the direction of a congregation or two.
(*) Full disclosure: My parents married in a UU church, but my mom joined the LDS church when I was a small child; I attended both until I was about 15, more or less on a 50/50 basis. When I was a preteen I made the tactical error of bringing my UU RE class to go visit the neighborhood LDS church. By the end of the day, primarily thanks to the behavior of the students and teacher in that class, I'd decided I was pretty much just a Mormon. The "open minds required" signs piss me off for this reason, amongst others.
(**) When my sister was dedicated at her UU congregation, there was a boy who recited from the Torah and a girl whose parents had a totem pole. I've also seen dedications that were almost indistinguishable from a mainstream Protestant baptismal service. UU religious beliefs and cultural practices occupy a very large space, some of which is shared with Reform Judaism, Hinduism, the B'nai B'rith, the Society of Friends, etc. I know one UU pastor who is also apparently a Reform rabbi and fills in at a liberal Episcopalian church.
posted by SMPA at 1:24 PM on February 5, 2011
(*) Full disclosure: My parents married in a UU church, but my mom joined the LDS church when I was a small child; I attended both until I was about 15, more or less on a 50/50 basis. When I was a preteen I made the tactical error of bringing my UU RE class to go visit the neighborhood LDS church. By the end of the day, primarily thanks to the behavior of the students and teacher in that class, I'd decided I was pretty much just a Mormon. The "open minds required" signs piss me off for this reason, amongst others.
(**) When my sister was dedicated at her UU congregation, there was a boy who recited from the Torah and a girl whose parents had a totem pole. I've also seen dedications that were almost indistinguishable from a mainstream Protestant baptismal service. UU religious beliefs and cultural practices occupy a very large space, some of which is shared with Reform Judaism, Hinduism, the B'nai B'rith, the Society of Friends, etc. I know one UU pastor who is also apparently a Reform rabbi and fills in at a liberal Episcopalian church.
posted by SMPA at 1:24 PM on February 5, 2011
Also nthing the Unitarians...accepting people and folks music every Saturday night. Something else you might find palatable, are the Ethical Humanist organizations.
posted by timsteil at 1:49 PM on February 5, 2011
posted by timsteil at 1:49 PM on February 5, 2011
As a now atheist (agnostic on a technicality, really) raised Lutheran (baptism, communion, confirmation, church every week, parochial school, etc) by a Lutheran mom and a previously Catholic dad (who "switched" to my mom's Lutheran [LCMS] church where they got married), I seriously question why any parent raises their child with any religion at all. Let the child pick, since there's many to pick from, when they're old enough instead of indoctrinating them from birth with one particular set of nonsense.
That said, UU is what you want if you want some sort of baptism. Or stop by my place and I'll walk into the Atlantic Ocean with your kid and mutter some words if you just need the act to happen and don't really put any credence into any of it.
posted by Brian Puccio at 1:49 PM on February 5, 2011
That said, UU is what you want if you want some sort of baptism. Or stop by my place and I'll walk into the Atlantic Ocean with your kid and mutter some words if you just need the act to happen and don't really put any credence into any of it.
posted by Brian Puccio at 1:49 PM on February 5, 2011
I used to teach UU Sunday school (or "religious education"). As everyone else has said, this is probably what you want. And they're called "dedications," not baptisms. But do keep in mind that UU-ism comes in a lot of different flavors, because of its Congregational heritage--each church governs itself without a lot of direct influence from the UUA as a whole, in contrast to the United Methodist Church, the Episcopalians, the Catholics, etc., who have a more hierarchical structure.
As a result, some congregations will be more humanist, some more Christian-influenced, some more diverse (especially more urban churches). So, yes, some will tend toward the sanctimonious and smug, especially if they harbor a lot of refugees from other religions and are mostly white and upper-middle-class. But not all. And while the "open minds required" signs are obnoxious, there was a brochure about religious education I saw once that I really appreciated. It read: "You wouldn't let your children learn about sex on the street. Don't let them learn about religion there, either." UU churches do a nice job of providing an inclusive religious education, and they also have a really good sex ed program (used to teach that, too--was considered brave and crazy by my seventh-graders' parents.)
As you both seem to be nonpracticing Christians, rather than nontheists, you might also consider a liberal Episcopalian congregation. They tend, unofficially at least, to have a more universalist, less proselytizing approach to Christianity. But that would require a greater personal commitment.
Actually, I really don't believe in having a ritual in a church--even marriage--unless you've decided to become part of the congregation, and I say that as someone who is currently a nonpracticing UU (contemplating becoming Episcopal). As others have pointed out above, in liberally religious congregations, baptism isn't so much about having one's soul saved as becoming part of a religious community. If you aren't interested in joining a church, and baptism is intended primarily to make your parents happy, you might be better off having your child baptized in one of your parents' churches, to which (I assume) you still have some familial connection. Or you could take the Anabaptist line that children are innocent until a certain age when they are old enough to make the choice for themselves.
posted by tully_monster at 2:55 PM on February 5, 2011 [3 favorites]
As a result, some congregations will be more humanist, some more Christian-influenced, some more diverse (especially more urban churches). So, yes, some will tend toward the sanctimonious and smug, especially if they harbor a lot of refugees from other religions and are mostly white and upper-middle-class. But not all. And while the "open minds required" signs are obnoxious, there was a brochure about religious education I saw once that I really appreciated. It read: "You wouldn't let your children learn about sex on the street. Don't let them learn about religion there, either." UU churches do a nice job of providing an inclusive religious education, and they also have a really good sex ed program (used to teach that, too--was considered brave and crazy by my seventh-graders' parents.)
As you both seem to be nonpracticing Christians, rather than nontheists, you might also consider a liberal Episcopalian congregation. They tend, unofficially at least, to have a more universalist, less proselytizing approach to Christianity. But that would require a greater personal commitment.
Actually, I really don't believe in having a ritual in a church--even marriage--unless you've decided to become part of the congregation, and I say that as someone who is currently a nonpracticing UU (contemplating becoming Episcopal). As others have pointed out above, in liberally religious congregations, baptism isn't so much about having one's soul saved as becoming part of a religious community. If you aren't interested in joining a church, and baptism is intended primarily to make your parents happy, you might be better off having your child baptized in one of your parents' churches, to which (I assume) you still have some familial connection. Or you could take the Anabaptist line that children are innocent until a certain age when they are old enough to make the choice for themselves.
posted by tully_monster at 2:55 PM on February 5, 2011 [3 favorites]
Yeah, I went to UU sunday school. Every week, we learned about a different religion or faith.
posted by saul wright at 3:24 PM on February 5, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by saul wright at 3:24 PM on February 5, 2011 [1 favorite]
Nthing UU. Besides everything else, including their acceptance of all beliefs and non-beliefs and gracious response to a terrible tragedy, the Unitarian Universalists have the best book sales in town, hands down.
posted by Morrigan at 5:03 PM on February 5, 2011
posted by Morrigan at 5:03 PM on February 5, 2011
I'm a bit late to the party, but I thought I'd chime in to suggest Bahai.
I'm slightly spiritual in my own way, but extremely wary of organised religion. My kids attended generic Christian scripture classes at school and were bored to tears. They asked if they could instead attend Bahai classes when some of their friends recommended it.
I did a bit of research, and the thing that impressed me the most was Bahai's tolerance of other religions, and the belief that we are all really one single race and religion, only the name of the deity-of-choice is different.
My kids have learned about Islam and Buddhism and Christianity and many others I can't remember right now. They are taught about virtues. They visit aged people in nursing homes, not to bible-bash but to play games and chat with the oldies. As someone who doesn't have a lot of nice things to say about organised religion, I am very impressed with the spiritual education my kids are getting.
(This is of course assuming that the US version of Bahai is similar to our offshoot Aussie version.)
posted by malibustacey9999 at 4:01 PM on February 6, 2011
I'm slightly spiritual in my own way, but extremely wary of organised religion. My kids attended generic Christian scripture classes at school and were bored to tears. They asked if they could instead attend Bahai classes when some of their friends recommended it.
I did a bit of research, and the thing that impressed me the most was Bahai's tolerance of other religions, and the belief that we are all really one single race and religion, only the name of the deity-of-choice is different.
My kids have learned about Islam and Buddhism and Christianity and many others I can't remember right now. They are taught about virtues. They visit aged people in nursing homes, not to bible-bash but to play games and chat with the oldies. As someone who doesn't have a lot of nice things to say about organised religion, I am very impressed with the spiritual education my kids are getting.
(This is of course assuming that the US version of Bahai is similar to our offshoot Aussie version.)
posted by malibustacey9999 at 4:01 PM on February 6, 2011
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posted by infinitywaltz at 11:25 AM on February 5, 2011 [17 favorites]