What to do about my months-long crush on sweet nerdy volunteer supervisor?
October 22, 2010 10:39 PM Subscribe
I'm female and in my late 20s.
I started volunteering at a local bookstore about eight months ago, and I've had a major crush on my supervisor since the very first day. It started as just a mild heart-skip, but as the weeks passed I found myself liking this guy more and more. He's got this reserved yet friendly geeky nature that I just can't get enough of. Oh my.
posted by tamagogirl to human relations (38 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
I thought there was a little spark between us as well. He used to come into the area where I was working and ask how I was doing, which is normal, but then he'd just linger around me for a bit like he didn't want to end the conversation. Once he approached me after work just to show me a research website he knew I'd like. Sometimes he'd just come and stand near me for no particular reason. So I started wearing the tiniest dab of perfume behind each ear, hoping he'd notice. No comment, but once he rested his arm on my armrest (touching mine!) while he was checking my work. And once, when I asked him to look up a little info about a local event I was interested in attending, he literally printed out the whole website for me and put it all into a neat packet with a big paperclip.
But then everything seemed to change. I sent him a Facebook friend request, which he accepted, but he never visited my profile or replied to my one short, friendly post on his wall (and never saw the PM I sent asking him out). He'd told me he rarely checks his FB, but you'd think he would if he just added a girl he liked, right? On two separate occasions I've offered to share my snack with him, but he declined both times. When I leave him a work-related phone message or email, I'll occasionally include a friendly comment or joke, which he completely ignores. Then there was this whole awkward time where I wouldn't talk to him, and he wouldn't talk to me, either.
And just when I think all is lost, he'll show up unexpectedly with a little treat for me from the upstairs office, or ask me about something that recently happened in my life, with that sparkle in his eyes, and we'll talk for a bit. I told him I've got the Sims 3 on my phone, and he said he likes the Sims too. But these little interactions have been happening less and less. Some days he won't even talk to me at all. I know the bookstore's a busy place, but still.
Yes, I have considered the possibility that he's gay. But here's the thing. We work in one of the most open-minded areas of the entire country. Also, while talking with him one-on-one, I've casually dropped the fact that one of my parents is gay. So if he's gay, why hasn't he taken these little opportunities to come on out? Most recently, I asked him privately if there was anything I'd been doing lately that was bothering him. He looked utterly surprised and said no. This is all very confusing.
So what to do next? I don't want to risk my volunteer position in any way. I do good work for the store, and I'll be there at least until next spring (when I'll have a full year of solid experience for the upcoming job hunt). By the way, this guy is worth it!