Couchsurfing etiquette

September 8, 2010 5:21 AM

Calling all CouchSurfers! As a, sort of, follow up to this question. I have a question about Couchsurfing etiquette/expectations from people who have already hosted/surfed.

I will be going to Vancouver(well, Burnaby) later this month to start my stint at a school as an international student. I am considering using couchsurfing.com to help me find a place to initially crash(~5 days) upon arriving. I am very new to the community and have only just finished writing my profile.

The advantages, I figure, will be immense compared with getting a short term sublet/getting a hostel/hotel

1. I'll be living with locals and thus start to establish a social network in an unfamiliar city immediately
2. They might give me pointers on what neighborhoods/types of longer term housing options to avoid
3. Be light on my starving student budget (which is very tight)

Before I send out requests, I'd like to ask MeFite CouchSurfers on whether or not this is a good idea and how best to frame my request.

From what little I have seen of the community, it seems to be used mainly by backpackers for overnight stays. I do not know whether they will look askance at me and my two suitcases. Secondly, I am looking around at longer term housing options and scheduling viewings of places. I plan to follow up on said meetings while in Burnaby and couch surfing.

Ideally, it would be great if one of these places fits with my criteria and I move out of the hosts couch and into my place without any temporary, short term housing option in between. The problem I have, is how long is too long? Unless they have already stated it in their profiles, of course. How to approach this topic with due consideration to the host's feelings? And whether this sort of scheme goes against the spirit of such an enterprise and community?

So, um, any thoughts? Experiences and advice will be very welcome.

Thank you very much!

posted by prufrock to Travel & Transportation (6 answers total)

We have hosted two people in almost identical situations.

One was an international student who wanted to live with native speakers. She stayed with us for about a month before we helped her find her own place.

The other we actually let become a rent paying room mate for his remaining time at the university.

Just explain your situation very clearly in your contact e-mail. That way people are free to say no and there's no confusion. Also, have a backup plan in case your hosts need their space back. This is really not that uncommon a request, in my experience. In our case, we know other hosts in our town, so when/if we get tired of a guest or need our space, we can often hook them up with another host. If that appeals to you, try to e-mail people who are very active and have been vouched for as they are more likely to be part of the CS community.

Also, we list our max as 5 days but if someone buys groceries, is pleasant, keeps their stuff tidy, makes themselves scarce some evenings then we're usually happy to have them longer. Only e-mail people you feel you might really LIKE and that might enjoy your company.
posted by Saminal at 5:50 AM on September 8, 2010

I'd advise being totally upfront in your couchrequest - basically say what you have here. If you think it's going to be 5 days, I'd say "Can I come for a week - maybe less?"

Other useful tips for getting a couch:

• Don't copy and paste your couchrequest to hundreds of people. Be targetted, and try to mention something from the person's profile in the request to show that you've actually taken the time to read it.
• If you get a message from a member, answer it!
• Have a reference or two
• Get verified
• It's nice (but not obligatory) to take something for your host - something local from where you are is nice (cheese/wine/sweets/pate etc.). At least take them out for a meal or cook for them one night.
• I prefer requests that come in advance (a week or more), others prefer last minute arrangements. So don't give up if you don't get anything immediately. Some cities even have a "last minute couch" group (for, er, those who are really disorganised).
• Consider doing 2 stays of 2-3 days: it'll be a pain to move your stuff, but it will introduce you to two people, maybe two parts of town, and it might be easier to get 2 short couchsurfs than one long one. If you go down this route, you might want to mention it in your initial couchrequest. A couch & a hostel is still cheaper than all hostel.

If you're completely new to CS, I would try to attend a meetup or something so you can get a reference or two. Are you a verified member?
posted by handee at 6:02 AM on September 8, 2010

As a fellow couch surfer I think this is a fine idea. You are traveling to a new place while trying to get to know locals on a tight budget with a more personal experience, exactly part of the couch surfer mission.

However, I would agree with the above comments and suggest that you target more than one couch for the duration of your stay. Could you split up your stay in between two couches, ~ 3 nights per place? This should be a sufficient amount of time to get to know your host and gain some info on the area. I think you're much more likely to be hosted with two shorter stays than one long one. Anecdotally, a friend and I recently stayed 3 nights with a lady in another country with large suitcases and no references; it went way better than I could have predicted. From my communications and experience, I think the community is pretty open to various situations, and if they've hosted many times they've probably had guests with varying degrees of stuff.

I would definitely suggest putting in more time and effort up front to ensure a good experience. Targeting the person you are requesting, telling them what you like about their particular situation and why that would be a good fit for yours is going to be a necessity. Try to find someone you will have a few things in common with ~ music, studies, movies, etc. Let them ask questions, be honest and give them an out.

Also, I think if you aren't registered- your profile should be tailored to this trip and detailed. Explain that you are new or a first timer but list other successful home stays in various programs if you have them.
posted by goodnight moon at 10:00 AM on September 8, 2010

I think you have the right mentality- you know to keep an eye out for those willing to host for longer periods and you know to be very clear about your situation and what you need when emailing the rest.
Narrow down your possible hosts to people you'd click with more or less right off the bat. If they've hosted before then they are already used to starting rapport and dialogue to get things comfortable, fast. Hosters are a breed of people who love the interaction and different cultures, so don't stress over being a short term surfer vs a backpacker, because it's the same need just with a different length of stay. Some can accommodate that longer stay without blinking. Some can't. It's really a straightforward process anyway-If they can accommodate, they'll let you know.


Good Luck!
posted by MansRiot at 2:12 PM on September 8, 2010

Thanks for the insight and the vote of confidence in my intentions!

I will modify my profile to reflect my current situation a lot more than it does currently. I am currently not verified, but I fear that it may take longer than I have for that to be done.

I'll consider multiple requests for short periods of time, as a secondary resort. I am fairly well traveled and have lived in such situations before, but never through such an established organization/community with some implied rules of conduct.

Thanks again, I'll be coming back to this thread to refer to points and to follow up on how the experience went.
posted by prufrock at 4:21 AM on September 9, 2010

As a frequent host in a big city that gets too many requests for our tiny apartments, I second everything that was said above! A couple quibbles:
- I don't think verification really makes one whit of difference for hosts or guests. It is going to be your profile, picture, and eventually references that make or break it. Oh and your request, but you seem pretty organized and literate.
- References are a really good thing! If you have a friend or friend-of-friend on CS, get their reference. If you have a chance to go to a meeting before moving, do it.
- Seconding everyone else about getting two places to stay. You could also consider asking your first host to hold onto your bags for the next couple days - I have no problems doing that for people who are going away for a day or two and coming back through town after.

Last: I would MUCH RATHER host someone like you instead of an in-and-out hitch-hiking backpacker. There are ALL KINDS of people and situations on CS. Right now, Paris is FULL of incoming students and outgoing interns looking for these few-day stays. You are not alone!
posted by whatzit at 10:43 AM on September 9, 2010