What to do about my incessant longing for life like it was in college?
July 18, 2010 12:47 PM Subscribe
What to do about my incessant longing for life like it was in college? Lengthy explanation inside.
posted by st starseed to society & culture (33 answers total) 43 users marked this as a favorite
To set the stage: I'm a 30-year-old happily married healthy man with a wonderful wife, a secure job, a great house, sound finances, travel experience, and a great circle of friends.
Life is good, is the point.
I graduated from a small liberal arts college eight years ago after a four-year stint that ended with a bachelor's degree. Life was good then too: Great professors, classes, dorm life, intramural sports, bar nights...this list could sprawl to 1,000 reasons.
I have spent the last eight years doing my best to hold on to the pure joy and happiness of those four years. Some examples: After graduating, I was very active in starting an alumni group in Washington, DC and have since joined the alumni board. My wife and I go to Homecoming every year. My circle of friends from those years is still very tight-knit (godparents for children, for example).
The rational part of my mind understands that dancing at the fraternity house until two in the morning is a memory. That walking down the hall and being randomly pulled into a guy's room to play video games is a memory. That staying up until 3am talking with a few close friends is a memory. Impromptu Dr. Mario tournaments, talking great books, feeling like you can take on the world...These are things that, by societal standards, I understand happen with much less frequency after college and will eventually stop altogether.
But I miss them. I always will.
As society demands, I continue to move on, with a steady job, bills, marriage, a house, eventually family, and whatever comes after that. I've done a good job with moving on, as life is indeed good. But it's not as good as it was, and as I get older (and as my friends do too), I have the sinking suspicion it never will be as good as those four years.
My question, after this explanation, is this: What have you done in your post-college life to move on from those days? Is there an effective way to put those days on the shelf of one's brain and only refer to them from time to time?