When and how did you realize you were bisexual?
May 24, 2010 10:04 AM Subscribe
Sexuality seems to be a very fluid and complex matter, and perhaps bisexuality even more so. My question is, when and how did you realize you were bisexual? And on a side note, I'd like to hear some opinions on a unrequited love situation.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (11 answers total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
Hi, I'm bisexual male in my early 20s, initially attracted to women but came to have feelings for men in my mid/late teens. Which has led me to this question, how is it for everyone else?
I've read through posts on bisexuality, but I'm interested here in hearing personal accounts and stories, if you don't mind sharing of course. Did you always like both genders, or were you more gay before and later experienced heterosexual attractions, or are you mostly straight/gay but have fallen for one specific person of the same/opposite gender? Ofcourse I'm sure the real circumstances are much more complex and profound than what I stated above. And opinions from people who do not identify themselves as "bisexual" are obviously welcome too if you feel it is relevant. I'm also especially curious about male bisexuality, since I am a guy myself, and also it seems to me (perhaps I'm wrong) that women's sexuality is more fluid than men.
This next question is a little off topic, but I thought I'd post here instead of making a new one.
I deeply care for a friend who is straight, and he knows about my sexuality, but I have never expressed my feelings for him, for several reasons.
First of all, my feelings for him isn't a typical romantic attraction, but it is more like a very intense friendship and love, and when I'm with him, we are just naturally very good friends, without me trying to hide my feelings. But that's not to say I'm not hurt when thinking that he will never like me in the same way, or jealous of his girlfriend or future wife! But that's only a small part of it, and my love for him is predominant and I feel greatful that I got to know him. And just because he's straight, I can't stop loving him, and I'm fine with it. Even if I do fall for someone else in the future, I'm pretty sure I'll like him always in a special way too.
The second and the obvious reason why I haven't told him is because it probably wouldn't change anything for the better. He is extremely considerate and I wouldn't want him to feel like he needs to be careful of what he says or does because he knows how I feel.
But I've been pondering lately about this situation, and sometimes I feel like since we are such good friends, maybe I should tell him out of honesty. I've had these kind of situations before, but it is the first time I feel like perhaps I should tell him, because we have a very close emotional connection, and in a way it wouldn't seem so unnatural if he knew. Especially since I don't expect anything in return from him. But if I were in a position where a good friend confessed his/her love, I might feel a little overwhelmed. But more than anything, I don't want to act out of self complacency. I care about him, and I'd like to just be of his support when I can, and that's all that matters, and I'm sure that's all that I can do.
It's not like I'm desperately suffering from this dilemma or anything, but it's always refreshing and inspiring to hear what someone other than me feels. So if you have any insights, let me know!
Thanks for your time!