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May 2, 2010 8:47 PM Subscribe
How should I catch / educate / shame / communicate with an inveterate gum bandit?
There's a person who sanctimoniously defaces bikes that are locked on the street front with gum (stick spearmint by my... estimation). He started on my roommate more than a year and a half ago, sporadically at first (once every two weeks), eventually gumming her bike every night until she completely gave up on both the passive aggressive back and forth and her bike over the winter.
He started with putting gum on her handlebars until she undid the wrapping around them to make the gum removal easier, whereupon he started on the seat, escalating to smearing gum on her seat and even stuffing gum into the bike lock to make sure that she had to touch it.
We thought he/she had finished with this behavior, and even thought it was directed at her in some sort of a misogynist fit, but he's recently begun to do it to any bike that is parked outside the of the building including friends, and visitors bikes, during the day! We have hypothesized that he was sending a message about using the bike rack within in the building, (which is always full, and honestly a pain to access); but he isn't the street facade police, and should not be defacing others' property, message about public space or no.
We live in an apartment building in a residential neighborhood, and we fully believe that he either lives in or near the building. Most of the gumming has happened late at night, after 3AM even, but it has even started happening in the afternoon when I park my bike to run in for a quick bite in the afternoon.
So what is an appropriate response? Should we bother catching / shaming him? Multiple friends are game, and current suggestions include having a party in the apartment, to stay up late with watchers set on find the guy (we have a direct sightline of the entire street), Set up a wireless flash system / zoom lens combo to get a good shot of his/her face. Set up on the street with a "public bike gummer party": have friends come hang out in couches outside with our bikes everywhere. Most of us are graduating but at this point, but let's be honest: it's the principle.
There's a person who sanctimoniously defaces bikes that are locked on the street front with gum (stick spearmint by my... estimation). He started on my roommate more than a year and a half ago, sporadically at first (once every two weeks), eventually gumming her bike every night until she completely gave up on both the passive aggressive back and forth and her bike over the winter.
He started with putting gum on her handlebars until she undid the wrapping around them to make the gum removal easier, whereupon he started on the seat, escalating to smearing gum on her seat and even stuffing gum into the bike lock to make sure that she had to touch it.
We thought he/she had finished with this behavior, and even thought it was directed at her in some sort of a misogynist fit, but he's recently begun to do it to any bike that is parked outside the of the building including friends, and visitors bikes, during the day! We have hypothesized that he was sending a message about using the bike rack within in the building, (which is always full, and honestly a pain to access); but he isn't the street facade police, and should not be defacing others' property, message about public space or no.
We live in an apartment building in a residential neighborhood, and we fully believe that he either lives in or near the building. Most of the gumming has happened late at night, after 3AM even, but it has even started happening in the afternoon when I park my bike to run in for a quick bite in the afternoon.
So what is an appropriate response? Should we bother catching / shaming him? Multiple friends are game, and current suggestions include having a party in the apartment, to stay up late with watchers set on find the guy (we have a direct sightline of the entire street), Set up a wireless flash system / zoom lens combo to get a good shot of his/her face. Set up on the street with a "public bike gummer party": have friends come hang out in couches outside with our bikes everywhere. Most of us are graduating but at this point, but let's be honest: it's the principle.
As a big fan of spikelee... i must agree with what he says. shame him like that raw food subway masturbator or something. Make fliers with his/her picture. Dedicate a website, tell your building management or his/hers. Do anything in your power to make this asshat know that what they are doing is not cool.
Actually, scratch all the above. tie them down and cover their face in chewed gum.
posted by djduckie at 9:00 PM on May 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
Actually, scratch all the above. tie them down and cover their face in chewed gum.
posted by djduckie at 9:00 PM on May 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
If it were me, I'd get photographic evidence of the person doing it, make sure they were aware of this fact immediately, and then egg/rotten fruit/stale beer/canola oil/Kool Aid the shit out of them. This may be less than ideal from a legal perspective, but I would feel comfortable banking on the fact that the mad gummer has a big incentive not to go to the police.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 9:04 PM on May 2, 2010
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 9:04 PM on May 2, 2010
Love the shaming ideas, but all you know about this person at this point is that he's persistent and mean. This could turn into a much larger problem if you retaliate.
It is indeed criminal mischief. I would call the cops to see what kind of evidence/ documentation they would need to bring action against this guy.
posted by Iggley at 9:10 PM on May 2, 2010 [2 favorites]
It is indeed criminal mischief. I would call the cops to see what kind of evidence/ documentation they would need to bring action against this guy.
posted by Iggley at 9:10 PM on May 2, 2010 [2 favorites]
(Note, involving the cops may still be seen as retaliation but at least you have law enforcement on your side if he actually gets serious.)
posted by Iggley at 9:11 PM on May 2, 2010
posted by Iggley at 9:11 PM on May 2, 2010
Unless you live Mayberry the cops won't give a shit. My preference would be to stake it out and then hit the person in the kneecap with a baseball bat. And then I would be in jail. A good compromise would be the stake out and then publicly humiliate the person. Follow s/he back home and then stand outside the next day with giant signs proclaiming that the gum bandit in question has syphilis.
posted by nestor_makhno at 9:18 PM on May 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by nestor_makhno at 9:18 PM on May 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
I vote for the stake out. And some of these will be needed too (from current FPP). And Take lots of pictures, you should get them doing it at least twice.
Then I think plaster their hair and face with gum and march them through the quad or student union or wherever. (but once that is done I'd give them a jar of peanut butter so they could get the gum out.)
However, once you have the evidence, going to the police (especially if it's campus police), might be saner. They would just scold the culprit probably but once he knows he is known he would probably stop.
posted by Some1 at 9:21 PM on May 2, 2010
Then I think plaster their hair and face with gum and march them through the quad or student union or wherever. (but once that is done I'd give them a jar of peanut butter so they could get the gum out.)
However, once you have the evidence, going to the police (especially if it's campus police), might be saner. They would just scold the culprit probably but once he knows he is known he would probably stop.
posted by Some1 at 9:21 PM on May 2, 2010
Unless you live Mayberry the cops won't give a shit.
Well, to be fair, cops dislike investigating low level crimes with no leads. However, if you can hand them the name of the guy, where he lives, and a picture of him doing it, it's just one quick interview with the guy and boom-- free stat for the cop; they will never not be interested in someone handing them a solved case.
posted by Menthol at 9:27 PM on May 2, 2010
Well, to be fair, cops dislike investigating low level crimes with no leads. However, if you can hand them the name of the guy, where he lives, and a picture of him doing it, it's just one quick interview with the guy and boom-- free stat for the cop; they will never not be interested in someone handing them a solved case.
posted by Menthol at 9:27 PM on May 2, 2010
Response by poster: A couple responses: 1) We're graduate students and don't live in or near campus. 2) I don't believe the cops give a crap. 3) Let's say we do a stake-out, what are some ideas about the technical how of catching him.
Matching Lycra suits are obviously a given.
posted by stratastar at 9:28 PM on May 2, 2010
Matching Lycra suits are obviously a given.
posted by stratastar at 9:28 PM on May 2, 2010
Catch the perp on tape, then go to the police station and file a report.
Continue to catch the perp on tape. Submit assembled footage to local news.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:35 PM on May 2, 2010 [2 favorites]
Continue to catch the perp on tape. Submit assembled footage to local news.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:35 PM on May 2, 2010 [2 favorites]
Stakeout time. Get people to man a camera in shifts. Don't stop until you get this jerk on camera doing his thing.
After you have the photographic evidence, get everyone to shout at him, etc. Get him to turn straight to the camera for a full-face portrait. Bonus points for swarming him with paparazzi at this point.
Then go to the cops with your jerk-portrait. Tell them that your small community of people is very interested in catching him, and that you have video proof of him doing this.
Hopefully, they'll be amused by your detective work, and the group pressure of several people wanting this guy caught will tempt them to be proactive about it.
If not - post his picture around.
posted by Sticherbeast at 9:38 PM on May 2, 2010
After you have the photographic evidence, get everyone to shout at him, etc. Get him to turn straight to the camera for a full-face portrait. Bonus points for swarming him with paparazzi at this point.
Then go to the cops with your jerk-portrait. Tell them that your small community of people is very interested in catching him, and that you have video proof of him doing this.
Hopefully, they'll be amused by your detective work, and the group pressure of several people wanting this guy caught will tempt them to be proactive about it.
If not - post his picture around.
posted by Sticherbeast at 9:38 PM on May 2, 2010
I don't believe the cops give a crap.
I arrest people for doing this kind of stuff all the time, but if you want to handle it yourself that is up to you. Just be warned, if you take matters into your own hands and do anything to this guy in retaliation you are opening yourself up to being sued or arrested yourself, depending on the action. I'd at least call your local PD and see what they have to say.
posted by Menthol at 9:40 PM on May 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
I arrest people for doing this kind of stuff all the time, but if you want to handle it yourself that is up to you. Just be warned, if you take matters into your own hands and do anything to this guy in retaliation you are opening yourself up to being sued or arrested yourself, depending on the action. I'd at least call your local PD and see what they have to say.
posted by Menthol at 9:40 PM on May 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
it seems as if you have line of sight, then you would also have line of shot. :-) paintball gun comes to mind. of course you might want to think about the consequences for that sent some districts want to have serious charges for paintball assaults. in other words, don't get caught.
posted by chinabound at 9:46 PM on May 2, 2010
posted by chinabound at 9:46 PM on May 2, 2010
Collect some data about when he's most likely to do it (weeknights, Wednesdays, whatever) and set up a series of shifts to watch out for him at strategic times. If you can see him, you can probably figure out who he is even in dim light . Then, the next time you see him, you offer him gum.
Or, Motion sensitive light above the bike.
Or, You might file a police report if you can figure out who he is, or even if you haven't. I don't think they can refuse to take a report from you--they won't do anything, you know that, but you can probably still file the paperwork, get a copy, and tape it to the pole the bike is locked to.
Or, Leave a pack of gum on the seat.
Or, leave a note saying "please don't leave gum on my seat" although depending what kind of town you live in that could just be an invitation.
Or, get an old bike, have an ole fashion' gum chewing party, cover it with gum, and just leave it out there as a warning to other gum.
Or, okay, you catch him in the act and then one of you comes out wearing a sheet and chains and you say you're the ghost of past gum, come to warn him about the future boooooooo.
I've got a little Ambien high going.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 9:49 PM on May 2, 2010 [2 favorites]
Or, Motion sensitive light above the bike.
Or, You might file a police report if you can figure out who he is, or even if you haven't. I don't think they can refuse to take a report from you--they won't do anything, you know that, but you can probably still file the paperwork, get a copy, and tape it to the pole the bike is locked to.
Or, Leave a pack of gum on the seat.
Or, leave a note saying "please don't leave gum on my seat" although depending what kind of town you live in that could just be an invitation.
Or, get an old bike, have an ole fashion' gum chewing party, cover it with gum, and just leave it out there as a warning to other gum.
Or, okay, you catch him in the act and then one of you comes out wearing a sheet and chains and you say you're the ghost of past gum, come to warn him about the future boooooooo.
I've got a little Ambien high going.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 9:49 PM on May 2, 2010 [2 favorites]
Documentary evidence is your best bet. Stakeouts, infrared cameras at night (someone you know has a camcorder with NightShot tech I'm sure)
DO NOT do anything stupid like attack him/her or rig a trap (electric shock, skin irritant, etc.) because that's criminal assault and opens you up to civil battery lawsuits as well. Physical violence is NEVER acceptable unless in self defense. If you attack the guy it would be premeditated, and that's just about the worst factor you can add in your arrest calculus. You come out the bad guy.
Want revenge? Get him on tape, and get him arrested. Pray he gets jail time with hypersexed 300-pounders. And then sue him for the damage he's caused if it's not ordered by the court. BE SURE TO PARTICIPATE AS A WITNESS IF IT GOES TO TRIAL. And if the prosecution asks for any assistance, give it to them unsparingly.
posted by holterbarbour at 10:08 PM on May 2, 2010
DO NOT do anything stupid like attack him/her or rig a trap (electric shock, skin irritant, etc.) because that's criminal assault and opens you up to civil battery lawsuits as well. Physical violence is NEVER acceptable unless in self defense. If you attack the guy it would be premeditated, and that's just about the worst factor you can add in your arrest calculus. You come out the bad guy.
Want revenge? Get him on tape, and get him arrested. Pray he gets jail time with hypersexed 300-pounders. And then sue him for the damage he's caused if it's not ordered by the court. BE SURE TO PARTICIPATE AS A WITNESS IF IT GOES TO TRIAL. And if the prosecution asks for any assistance, give it to them unsparingly.
posted by holterbarbour at 10:08 PM on May 2, 2010
OK so my first comment was deleted. Sorry, Jessamyn. I hate making your job harder.
So, to reiterate: STAKEOUT STAKEOUT STAKEOUT. Document as much as you can, figure out where the perp lives, and (kicks gravel, stares at shoes) I guess let the cops figure it out.
/gives up on delusions of that opening scene in The Professional, wherein Jean Reno takes out a bajillion bad guys with like a knife and a shoelace. But forreals, if you could like maybe make a noose, and snare the gum bandit, and then just lift them off their feet for a couple of seconds, then let them drop to the ground, and like while they're catching their breath and realizing that, no, they didn't in fact just die, then you slither down from your perch in the trees, and you get nose to nose with them, your face covered black and olive drab, and you just stare, yeah, that thousand yard stare, and they know that they've seen the devil, and it is YOU, and holy shit they're never going to try this again if they can just get out of here alive, and holy fuck what are you doing with your right hand, coming at their face, slowly, slowly, and then HONK you squeeze their nose like Mr. Miyagi to that Cobra Kai dude in Karate Kid II.
and please, have another friend filming.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 10:09 PM on May 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
So, to reiterate: STAKEOUT STAKEOUT STAKEOUT. Document as much as you can, figure out where the perp lives, and (kicks gravel, stares at shoes) I guess let the cops figure it out.
/gives up on delusions of that opening scene in The Professional, wherein Jean Reno takes out a bajillion bad guys with like a knife and a shoelace. But forreals, if you could like maybe make a noose, and snare the gum bandit, and then just lift them off their feet for a couple of seconds, then let them drop to the ground, and like while they're catching their breath and realizing that, no, they didn't in fact just die, then you slither down from your perch in the trees, and you get nose to nose with them, your face covered black and olive drab, and you just stare, yeah, that thousand yard stare, and they know that they've seen the devil, and it is YOU, and holy shit they're never going to try this again if they can just get out of here alive, and holy fuck what are you doing with your right hand, coming at their face, slowly, slowly, and then HONK you squeeze their nose like Mr. Miyagi to that Cobra Kai dude in Karate Kid II.
and please, have another friend filming.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 10:09 PM on May 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
Because I will be involved in the inevitable stakeout, I will contribute my suggestion. I say we get a decoy bike and chain it up to the fence. Then we park a car across the street with a camera in it so that no one has to sit staring out a window and potentially being seen by this asshat. I think with that plan it's just a matter of finding a cheap camera that will run all day from a car window without attracting attention, and trying to get around the low light issue since he's been doing this at night.
If we catch this dude we totally are posting pictures on Metafilter Projects.
Oh, and I am so Noodles.
posted by emilyd22222 at 10:28 PM on May 2, 2010
If we catch this dude we totally are posting pictures on Metafilter Projects.
Oh, and I am so Noodles.
posted by emilyd22222 at 10:28 PM on May 2, 2010
The problem with manning a camera is that it requires people, and people are obvious. I'd try some setup with a digital camera, IR lights and maybe a circuit like this which snaps a picture every few seconds. Difficulty: You need someone who can solder and a camera you're willing to open up or a more modern camera where you can plug a remote trigger in the side, but which does not have an IR filter. (You can test for that by having someone point a remote at you while holding down a button. If the picture looks like they're holding a flashlight, win!)
Still, if it's someone paying that closs of attention, you might have trouble setting this up without them seeing you.
The other suggestion I have involves a lawn sprinkler, a passive IR motion detector, a solinoid valve and a box of Rit dye, but the problem with that kind of system is it might get the unwary as well as the guilty.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 10:32 PM on May 2, 2010
Still, if it's someone paying that closs of attention, you might have trouble setting this up without them seeing you.
The other suggestion I have involves a lawn sprinkler, a passive IR motion detector, a solinoid valve and a box of Rit dye, but the problem with that kind of system is it might get the unwary as well as the guilty.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 10:32 PM on May 2, 2010
If you have the perp's gum, you have the perp's DNA. Start there.
posted by The Potate at 10:35 PM on May 2, 2010
posted by The Potate at 10:35 PM on May 2, 2010
If you have the perp's gum, you have the perp's DNA. Start there.
Well, considering we don't have our own personal DNA lab, and crime labs won't even waste their time on freaking sexual assault victims, I kinda doubt they're going to go all CSI on the neighborhood gum bandit.
posted by emilyd22222 at 10:38 PM on May 2, 2010
Well, considering we don't have our own personal DNA lab, and crime labs won't even waste their time on freaking sexual assault victims, I kinda doubt they're going to go all CSI on the neighborhood gum bandit.
posted by emilyd22222 at 10:38 PM on May 2, 2010
well not with that attitude
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 10:56 PM on May 2, 2010 [13 favorites]
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 10:56 PM on May 2, 2010 [13 favorites]
Well, considering we don't have our own personal DNA lab, and crime labs won't even waste their time on freaking sexual assault victims, I kinda doubt they're going to go all CSI on the neighborhood gum bandit.
You're right, but Perp probably doesn't know that industrious, resourceful graduate students such as yourselves don't have friends in that field. You might be able to mess with him/her based on that.
posted by The Potate at 11:24 PM on May 2, 2010
You're right, but Perp probably doesn't know that industrious, resourceful graduate students such as yourselves don't have friends in that field. You might be able to mess with him/her based on that.
posted by The Potate at 11:24 PM on May 2, 2010
By my above comment, I mean, you guys are at least matching lycra suits committed to this, so I'm sure you have plenty of motivation and imagination to use such a fact to your advantage
posted by The Potate at 11:29 PM on May 2, 2010
posted by The Potate at 11:29 PM on May 2, 2010
I would purchase a motion activated spy-cam. Don't tell anyone that you have posted the camera, because it could easily be anyone.
This will give you the time and face of the perp. If you recognize them you can take appropriate action. If you don't, you should follow them and find out where they live. This will give you options if the police can't take care of it.
Also invest in some gum freeze spray
posted by psycho-alchemy at 11:52 PM on May 2, 2010
This will give you the time and face of the perp. If you recognize them you can take appropriate action. If you don't, you should follow them and find out where they live. This will give you options if the police can't take care of it.
Also invest in some gum freeze spray
posted by psycho-alchemy at 11:52 PM on May 2, 2010
Seconding the motion-activated spy cam. When you catch the perp, check back with us!
posted by dunkadunc at 12:41 AM on May 3, 2010
posted by dunkadunc at 12:41 AM on May 3, 2010
Matching Lycra suits are obviously a given.
OMG please use these(links to FPP about something that may be NSFW) matching lycra suits for that extra freak out factor. Imagine being surrounded by a group of people all in full body multi-colored lycra suits saying "We've been watching you, and we're angry".
Also there are web cams that have software which makes them act as motion cams. You could set one of those up in your stakeout car attached to a laptop and just periodically recharge the battery in the laptop. Also I believe you can hack Canon firmware to cause them to act as motion detectors, so you might want to look in to that as another option.
posted by JackarypQQ at 12:57 AM on May 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
OMG please use these(links to FPP about something that may be NSFW) matching lycra suits for that extra freak out factor. Imagine being surrounded by a group of people all in full body multi-colored lycra suits saying "We've been watching you, and we're angry".
Also there are web cams that have software which makes them act as motion cams. You could set one of those up in your stakeout car attached to a laptop and just periodically recharge the battery in the laptop. Also I believe you can hack Canon firmware to cause them to act as motion detectors, so you might want to look in to that as another option.
posted by JackarypQQ at 12:57 AM on May 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
Use a decoy bike and cover it with some kind of non-obvious lubricant (BodyGlide, plain old talcum powder, mineral oil?) to make his gum-smearing efforts difficult or impossible. Imagine the hilarity when he's standing there flummoxed because he can't get the gum off his fingers and then The Lycra Superfriends magically appear...
posted by SuperSquirrel at 6:09 AM on May 3, 2010
posted by SuperSquirrel at 6:09 AM on May 3, 2010
Best answer: stick spearmint by my... estimation
You tasted it, didn't you?
posted by MsMolly at 8:30 AM on May 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
You tasted it, didn't you?
posted by MsMolly at 8:30 AM on May 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
stick spearmint by my... estimation
You tasted it, didn't you?
Or he's the inveterate gum bandit himself, and this post is all part of an elaborate ruse to make it seem like he is most definitely not the gum bandit.
posted by k8lin at 3:48 PM on May 3, 2010
You tasted it, didn't you?
Or he's the inveterate gum bandit himself, and this post is all part of an elaborate ruse to make it seem like he is most definitely not the gum bandit.
posted by k8lin at 3:48 PM on May 3, 2010
this is the best thing i've read all day. i sympathize with the bikegummer. over 1.5 years and never caught? whoever they are, they must be a freaking ninja; perhaps you shouldn't mess with them.
posted by judge.mentok.the.mindtaker at 9:07 PM on May 3, 2010
posted by judge.mentok.the.mindtaker at 9:07 PM on May 3, 2010
Response by poster: Heh, I always assume its some sociopath with bad breath and harsh bike controlling tendencies.
Summer Project! I'll keep ya'all updated.
posted by stratastar at 8:56 AM on May 4, 2010
Summer Project! I'll keep ya'all updated.
posted by stratastar at 8:56 AM on May 4, 2010
Oh you know what? You should post this to Jobs.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 7:51 PM on May 4, 2010
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 7:51 PM on May 4, 2010
Please post back and tell us how it turns out.
posted by feelinggood at 7:57 PM on May 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by feelinggood at 7:57 PM on May 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
Wow I'm late to the thread. Just wanted to say that it might be more than one person gumming, considering the fact that there have been off-schedule gummings. If you haven't already, factor that into your plans. Catching one guy and still finding gum on your bikes from his accomplice might make his denials seem more plausible.
posted by jabberjaw at 2:26 PM on May 6, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by jabberjaw at 2:26 PM on May 6, 2010 [1 favorite]
I am going to be so bummed if you don't follow this up with video of the perp and of y'all subsequently going asspants on him.
posted by waldo at 6:51 PM on May 6, 2010
posted by waldo at 6:51 PM on May 6, 2010
Add me to the list that has been waiting with baited breath to see what happens.
posted by Admira at 7:02 PM on May 8, 2010
posted by Admira at 7:02 PM on May 8, 2010
Response by poster: We've created a blog to document our efforts to outgum the gummer. It's linked on MefiProjects.
posted by stratastar at 8:55 PM on June 19, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by stratastar at 8:55 PM on June 19, 2010 [2 favorites]
Hee. That's awesome.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 5:53 AM on July 13, 2010
posted by A Terrible Llama at 5:53 AM on July 13, 2010
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by Menthol at 8:57 PM on May 2, 2010 [1 favorite]