I love my cat.
January 22, 2010 5:44 PM
If I talk to a rescue organization about giving up my cat, how awful will it be for me and will it help my cat?
I have a healthy 12-year-old neutered male cat that I am considering surrendering to a no-kill rescue group. He is pooping all over the place (which infuriates my husband), and scratches on the woodwork in the expensive house we have rented.
We adopted this cat as a kitten with a littermate (who died of natural causes within a few months after adoption), and have taken care of him through 9 houses and 4 states. In 2004, our landlord wouldn't accept pets, so we arranged for my husband's parents (living 900 miles away) to care for him, and then moved him back in with us after we bought our own place. This isn't something we're considering lightly.
My husband and I work long hours, I am a full-time graduate student, and we have a 7 year old daughter. We're short on time to give to the cat, and are gone from the house for most of the day each weekday. We think our cat is depressed, and he might perhaps be more happy in a home where he gets more attention and affection.
Our current residence is rented, and he has already caused some damage to this very nice, expensive house that the owners plan to move back into at the end of our lease (house is in the part of town with the good schools). There are a couple of very aggressive cats across the street that he has gotten into scrapes with (one resulted in a vet visit for I&D of an abscess). They come into our back yard and corner him in the patio. So in addition to being depressed about not getting enough attention and being alone, he has territory issues.
We're expecting to move at least one more time (possibly more) within the next year or two. And we'll be stuck as renters for a while (thank you, housing crisis).
For all these reasons, we're thinking about surrendering our cat to a rescue organization. But my husband is worried if we tell a rescue org that we think our cat needs a more responsive, stable home than we can provide, they will send the authorities after us.
Can anyone with experience surrendering an animal or working for a rescue organization tell us what to expect? Do we have a realistic chance of helping our cat?
I have a healthy 12-year-old neutered male cat that I am considering surrendering to a no-kill rescue group. He is pooping all over the place (which infuriates my husband), and scratches on the woodwork in the expensive house we have rented.
We adopted this cat as a kitten with a littermate (who died of natural causes within a few months after adoption), and have taken care of him through 9 houses and 4 states. In 2004, our landlord wouldn't accept pets, so we arranged for my husband's parents (living 900 miles away) to care for him, and then moved him back in with us after we bought our own place. This isn't something we're considering lightly.
My husband and I work long hours, I am a full-time graduate student, and we have a 7 year old daughter. We're short on time to give to the cat, and are gone from the house for most of the day each weekday. We think our cat is depressed, and he might perhaps be more happy in a home where he gets more attention and affection.
Our current residence is rented, and he has already caused some damage to this very nice, expensive house that the owners plan to move back into at the end of our lease (house is in the part of town with the good schools). There are a couple of very aggressive cats across the street that he has gotten into scrapes with (one resulted in a vet visit for I&D of an abscess). They come into our back yard and corner him in the patio. So in addition to being depressed about not getting enough attention and being alone, he has territory issues.
We're expecting to move at least one more time (possibly more) within the next year or two. And we'll be stuck as renters for a while (thank you, housing crisis).
For all these reasons, we're thinking about surrendering our cat to a rescue organization. But my husband is worried if we tell a rescue org that we think our cat needs a more responsive, stable home than we can provide, they will send the authorities after us.
Can anyone with experience surrendering an animal or working for a rescue organization tell us what to expect? Do we have a realistic chance of helping our cat?
Honestly, your situation is the same story they've heard hundreds of times. Nobody is going to send the "authorities" after you, because you have done nothing wrong or illegal. In fact, to have someone actually admit that they are not able to provide a good home for a pet would be a breath of fresh air.
Don't sweat it. You may have to contact a lot of groups and do a lot of leg work to find a rescue willing to take in a [relatively] old cat who apparently is used to being an outside cat and has poop and scratching issues.
posted by SuperSquirrel at 5:53 PM on January 22, 2010
Don't sweat it. You may have to contact a lot of groups and do a lot of leg work to find a rescue willing to take in a [relatively] old cat who apparently is used to being an outside cat and has poop and scratching issues.
posted by SuperSquirrel at 5:53 PM on January 22, 2010
You've had this cat for 12 years and now you just want to give it away because it's inconvenient for you? Even though you love him and he's been a part of your family for well over a decade, now that's he's old and the parts don't work as well you're just going to give up on him? I'm sorry to be so harsh, but that's what your doing.
By placing him in a shelter, you are dooming him to live in a cage for the rest of his life. Yes, there's a chance someone might adopt him, but seriously -- it's slim to none. There are cute, adorable little kittens who sometimes don't get adopted. No one but the most special of people is going to want to adopt an older cat with problems when there are cute kittens available. And there are not enough of these special people to go around. It's the harsh truth with shelters.
This situation can be made more bearable. For starters, keep the cat inside. Even though my cats are indoor-only, I'm not quite as "all cats should be indoors only" as some people, but there are times when a cat will do better indoors. This is one of them. Yes, he may whine and complain and scratch the door, but that will pass. Being locked indoors in your house is better than living in a cage. Keep repeating this to yourself.
Do you have a spare bathroom? Worst case scenario, this can be your cat's new home until the litter issues are fixed. Other people know more about fixing these sorts of problems (see above this post, for example). But a bathroom, with HIS PEOPLE (which you are) visiting, is better than a cage with scary strangers and dogs barking and weird smells. You think you cat is stressed out now? Wait until the shelter.
I'm trying really really hard not to not be as harsh as I could be, but that's because I've seen and worked with the cats in the shelters, and it breaks my heart. Each and every time. There are so many cats (and other animals) that need homes, and the shitty facts of life mean that yours is going to have a much harder go of it.
That all being said -- I feel for your situation. It sucks, I understand that. You love your cat, and you don't know what else to do. You feel like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place, and sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do. In the absolute worst case scenario and you do end up giving up kitty, find a no-kill rescue organization that doesn't have their own shelter, and instead places all their animals with foster homes. This is where those special people who are willing to open up their homes for those animals that are harder to adopt tend to hang out, and your cat will not be living in a cage. These places are hard to find, however, and have been known to have wait lists. And if you do find one, a large donation is definitely in order here. But please, please, reconsider. Because if your cat makes it into a shelter, it means another one cannot, and will be most likely put down. There are only so many spaces available.
Good luck, and give your poor old cat an ear scratch for me.
posted by cgg at 6:47 PM on January 22, 2010
By placing him in a shelter, you are dooming him to live in a cage for the rest of his life. Yes, there's a chance someone might adopt him, but seriously -- it's slim to none. There are cute, adorable little kittens who sometimes don't get adopted. No one but the most special of people is going to want to adopt an older cat with problems when there are cute kittens available. And there are not enough of these special people to go around. It's the harsh truth with shelters.
This situation can be made more bearable. For starters, keep the cat inside. Even though my cats are indoor-only, I'm not quite as "all cats should be indoors only" as some people, but there are times when a cat will do better indoors. This is one of them. Yes, he may whine and complain and scratch the door, but that will pass. Being locked indoors in your house is better than living in a cage. Keep repeating this to yourself.
Do you have a spare bathroom? Worst case scenario, this can be your cat's new home until the litter issues are fixed. Other people know more about fixing these sorts of problems (see above this post, for example). But a bathroom, with HIS PEOPLE (which you are) visiting, is better than a cage with scary strangers and dogs barking and weird smells. You think you cat is stressed out now? Wait until the shelter.
I'm trying really really hard not to not be as harsh as I could be, but that's because I've seen and worked with the cats in the shelters, and it breaks my heart. Each and every time. There are so many cats (and other animals) that need homes, and the shitty facts of life mean that yours is going to have a much harder go of it.
That all being said -- I feel for your situation. It sucks, I understand that. You love your cat, and you don't know what else to do. You feel like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place, and sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do. In the absolute worst case scenario and you do end up giving up kitty, find a no-kill rescue organization that doesn't have their own shelter, and instead places all their animals with foster homes. This is where those special people who are willing to open up their homes for those animals that are harder to adopt tend to hang out, and your cat will not be living in a cage. These places are hard to find, however, and have been known to have wait lists. And if you do find one, a large donation is definitely in order here. But please, please, reconsider. Because if your cat makes it into a shelter, it means another one cannot, and will be most likely put down. There are only so many spaces available.
Good luck, and give your poor old cat an ear scratch for me.
posted by cgg at 6:47 PM on January 22, 2010
You might want to consider any people you know (parents, close or distant relatives, friends, coworkers) who have lots of outdoor space and might be able to take care of an outside cat. You would proposition them to keep the cat and make it very clear you will help with food and vet bills. I would of course try some of the corrective issues above, but I'm kind of skeptical as most cats I've seen, especially at that age, seem pretty dead set on doing whatever they want.
posted by crapmatic at 6:52 PM on January 22, 2010
posted by crapmatic at 6:52 PM on January 22, 2010
(and don't just cross off people from your list of friends, relatives, coworkers, etc, without actually talking to them, as they might sympathize and give you some good leads)
posted by crapmatic at 6:54 PM on January 22, 2010
posted by crapmatic at 6:54 PM on January 22, 2010
9 houses, 8 moves, at least two involving disruption and loss (cat->parents; cat->you); alone all day except when outside, where other cats attack him in his "own" territory? Bet all your moving was tough for you; no wonder your cat is stressed and behaving badly.
cgg has shelter story right. Before this becomes your only option, consider some of the solutions above, especially those that make the indoors, his safest place, more friendly (white noise? new toys, changed around day to day? little pink sock? someone coming in during day?) and secure (litter help, etc - cats actually hate making mess). Good luck and good wishes.
posted by Bet Glenn at 7:05 PM on January 22, 2010
cgg has shelter story right. Before this becomes your only option, consider some of the solutions above, especially those that make the indoors, his safest place, more friendly (white noise? new toys, changed around day to day? little pink sock? someone coming in during day?) and secure (litter help, etc - cats actually hate making mess). Good luck and good wishes.
posted by Bet Glenn at 7:05 PM on January 22, 2010
I'm sorry for your situation.
One suggestion though:
Feliaway diffusers and/or collar + Prozac
One of our kitties was peeing on the rug. Prozac solved the problem after we tried everything else. It is $10/month and totally worth it.
posted by k8t at 7:30 PM on January 22, 2010
One suggestion though:
Feliaway diffusers and/or collar + Prozac
One of our kitties was peeing on the rug. Prozac solved the problem after we tried everything else. It is $10/month and totally worth it.
posted by k8t at 7:30 PM on January 22, 2010
Please consider finding someone personally to adopt your cat. It will be a much better experience for him. Take the time and effort to find him a good home.
posted by whiskeyspider at 7:36 PM on January 22, 2010
posted by whiskeyspider at 7:36 PM on January 22, 2010
I sympathize with your situation. Awhile back I posted my own cat despair question, and got many similar responses (that make you feel even worse than you already feel).
To answer your question, I found that when I called around to rescue organizations, 95% of the time I got a voicemail box, and 5% of the time I got a kind, compassionate human on the other end. If you explain your dilemma and ask their advice they will be willing to talk with you and help brainstorm some ideas. I did not find them to be sanctimonious or ready to call the authorities.
There probably are things you can try to improve the situation. Some are listed above. But you are not evil if you actively try to find a loving home for your animal. My guess is most no-kill shelters will be full, and you will have to search on your own using family, friends, networks, craigslist, etc. You will be in a tough spot if you can't find another home though; it's really hard.
posted by jay dee bee at 8:01 PM on January 22, 2010
To answer your question, I found that when I called around to rescue organizations, 95% of the time I got a voicemail box, and 5% of the time I got a kind, compassionate human on the other end. If you explain your dilemma and ask their advice they will be willing to talk with you and help brainstorm some ideas. I did not find them to be sanctimonious or ready to call the authorities.
There probably are things you can try to improve the situation. Some are listed above. But you are not evil if you actively try to find a loving home for your animal. My guess is most no-kill shelters will be full, and you will have to search on your own using family, friends, networks, craigslist, etc. You will be in a tough spot if you can't find another home though; it's really hard.
posted by jay dee bee at 8:01 PM on January 22, 2010
[Several comments removed. Can the guilt trips and the name calling or stay out of the thread.]
posted by cortex at 8:09 PM on January 22, 2010
posted by cortex at 8:09 PM on January 22, 2010
You don't say that you've taken the cat to a vet. Get any medical issues attended to. your vet may have some advice.
posted by theora55 at 8:15 PM on January 22, 2010
posted by theora55 at 8:15 PM on January 22, 2010
I agree with those who have said you should try keeping the cat inside. You should not be putting him outside with those other cats that attack him.
Cats in general are low maintenance pets. They do like attention, but being away at work for several hours a day really should not be a huge issue. Does your daughter like the cat? What does she think? When I was 7, I adored our cat and would've been devastated if my parents decided to get rid of her for some reason.
Honestly, it sounds to me like you don't really want the cat anymore and aren't interested in looking into ways to solve the pooping-everywhere problem and the scratching problem. Sorry if I'm reading this wrong, but these are problems that can be solved if you do indeed love your cat.
It would be one thing if he were still young and had a good chance of being adopted, but this cat is 12, approaching old age. Please don't do this to him; try to put some effort into figuring out the pooping/scratching issues. It could be as simple as changing what kind of litter he uses, getting him a scratching post, and getting him a nice catnip mat to play with and sleep on.
posted by wondermouse at 8:25 PM on January 22, 2010
Cats in general are low maintenance pets. They do like attention, but being away at work for several hours a day really should not be a huge issue. Does your daughter like the cat? What does she think? When I was 7, I adored our cat and would've been devastated if my parents decided to get rid of her for some reason.
Honestly, it sounds to me like you don't really want the cat anymore and aren't interested in looking into ways to solve the pooping-everywhere problem and the scratching problem. Sorry if I'm reading this wrong, but these are problems that can be solved if you do indeed love your cat.
It would be one thing if he were still young and had a good chance of being adopted, but this cat is 12, approaching old age. Please don't do this to him; try to put some effort into figuring out the pooping/scratching issues. It could be as simple as changing what kind of litter he uses, getting him a scratching post, and getting him a nice catnip mat to play with and sleep on.
posted by wondermouse at 8:25 PM on January 22, 2010
Perhaps SoftClaws to help with the scratching if you try the indoors only route?
posted by carmicha at 8:29 PM on January 22, 2010
posted by carmicha at 8:29 PM on January 22, 2010
Get Soft Paws (nail covers) to solve the scratching problem.
If he's only recently begun pooping everywhere, he may just be sick. Take him to the vet. Or he may need a different litter box or litter. If you have one of those automatic cleaning boxes, sometimes those scare the beejeezus out of cats and they won't use them.
Sometimes a good solution to not being able to spend enough time with your cat is to get your cat a cat. I know this is counter-intuitive because you feel like you don't have enough time for the one cat, but two cats can entertain each other and keep each other company.
posted by Jacqueline at 8:47 PM on January 22, 2010
If he's only recently begun pooping everywhere, he may just be sick. Take him to the vet. Or he may need a different litter box or litter. If you have one of those automatic cleaning boxes, sometimes those scare the beejeezus out of cats and they won't use them.
Sometimes a good solution to not being able to spend enough time with your cat is to get your cat a cat. I know this is counter-intuitive because you feel like you don't have enough time for the one cat, but two cats can entertain each other and keep each other company.
posted by Jacqueline at 8:47 PM on January 22, 2010
For what it's worth, I have had two cats that stayed at home all day while the rest of the family was out. The first lived to a ripe old age, the second is still going strong and I've never seen any signs that either of them were stressed or unhappy in any way.
posted by fearthehat at 9:01 PM on January 22, 2010
posted by fearthehat at 9:01 PM on January 22, 2010
I can understand your frustration.
Your question wasn't about how to solve these problems, but if, after reading these responses, you'd like to give it a try, please come back in the thread to say so. Scratching and litter box avoidance can be reduced/eliminated, and there are a lot of people here who can help you out, if invited.
posted by moira at 9:15 PM on January 22, 2010
Your question wasn't about how to solve these problems, but if, after reading these responses, you'd like to give it a try, please come back in the thread to say so. Scratching and litter box avoidance can be reduced/eliminated, and there are a lot of people here who can help you out, if invited.
posted by moira at 9:15 PM on January 22, 2010
Do we have a realistic chance of helping our cat?
If the rescue organization is honest with you, they'll tell you that your cat will probably never leave rescue agency. His unhappiness and behavior problems will get worse. He will not a suitable adoption. He's not going to a better home. I understand that you're hoping to be rid of your problem without guilt for you or damage to the animal. I'm sorry, but that's not realistic.
However, the rescue agency isn't going to send the authorities after you. They will be nice to you - not for you, but because they feel for your cat. They'd much prefer that you surrender your cat than simply ditch it in a field somewhere.
posted by 26.2 at 9:35 PM on January 22, 2010
If the rescue organization is honest with you, they'll tell you that your cat will probably never leave rescue agency. His unhappiness and behavior problems will get worse. He will not a suitable adoption. He's not going to a better home. I understand that you're hoping to be rid of your problem without guilt for you or damage to the animal. I'm sorry, but that's not realistic.
However, the rescue agency isn't going to send the authorities after you. They will be nice to you - not for you, but because they feel for your cat. They'd much prefer that you surrender your cat than simply ditch it in a field somewhere.
posted by 26.2 at 9:35 PM on January 22, 2010
This is a difficult thread for me to read and answer. This will also probably be an unpopular post.
theora55 had the pertinent question: how is the cat's health? I feel that there's an assumption in this thread that the pet's issues are behavioral/environmental and not physical. (And, from the posts removed notice, that there are a lot of knee-jerk judgmental "how dare you" meanness.) I would rule anything physically wrong with your pet first (cats are very good at hiding health issues and can go downhill quickly) and whether there are any options to make the situation better.
Here's the difficult answer part: we had to put our two littermate cats down last year (13 years old): they got old, started having "behavioral issues" because their poor bodies were shutting down, and we finally realized we were doing everything to keep them alive for us, regardless of their quality of life. For reference, they were left alone a medium amount, had moved cross-county a couple of times, and basically didn't have the most stable environment. But they were fine until they reached their shutdown point. (BTW, we had two separate, awful, wrenching decisions to put them down; we didn't just do it lightly like, oh let's get rid of the animals because they're inconvenient. Unfortunately, it is part of being a responsible person/pet owner. It basically defined 2009 as one of the worst years ever in that we had to say goodbye to family members twice within 6 months.)
I don't know you, you cat, your family, and I'm not a vet. But animals don't live as long as people; are you thinking of putting your cat in a shelter because you don't want to face that decision? Whatever decision you make will be difficult; I don't envy you and wish you luck. Memail me if you'd like.
posted by sfkiddo at 10:06 PM on January 22, 2010
theora55 had the pertinent question: how is the cat's health? I feel that there's an assumption in this thread that the pet's issues are behavioral/environmental and not physical. (And, from the posts removed notice, that there are a lot of knee-jerk judgmental "how dare you" meanness.) I would rule anything physically wrong with your pet first (cats are very good at hiding health issues and can go downhill quickly) and whether there are any options to make the situation better.
Here's the difficult answer part: we had to put our two littermate cats down last year (13 years old): they got old, started having "behavioral issues" because their poor bodies were shutting down, and we finally realized we were doing everything to keep them alive for us, regardless of their quality of life. For reference, they were left alone a medium amount, had moved cross-county a couple of times, and basically didn't have the most stable environment. But they were fine until they reached their shutdown point. (BTW, we had two separate, awful, wrenching decisions to put them down; we didn't just do it lightly like, oh let's get rid of the animals because they're inconvenient. Unfortunately, it is part of being a responsible person/pet owner. It basically defined 2009 as one of the worst years ever in that we had to say goodbye to family members twice within 6 months.)
I don't know you, you cat, your family, and I'm not a vet. But animals don't live as long as people; are you thinking of putting your cat in a shelter because you don't want to face that decision? Whatever decision you make will be difficult; I don't envy you and wish you luck. Memail me if you'd like.
posted by sfkiddo at 10:06 PM on January 22, 2010
1. Keep the cat inside
2. If you abandon it to a shelter, it will likely live there for the rest of its life
3. Try to find someone to take the cat in yourself, if you absolutely must get rid of him
4. [possibly bad advice] if he's lonely adopt another cat to keep him company
5. While the "authorities" will likely not be called, if you ever try to adopt a pet in the future, they will almost certainly ask if you have ever surrendered a pet to a shelter.
6. [warning harsh words may follow] Seriously, your situation is not that bad. Get over it. If you think your cat is lonely, hire a cat sitter (i.e. a poor college undergrad to hang out with your cat during the day). Too many pets are abandoned to shelters because they become too much of a hassle for their owners. Your cat has lived with you through your ups and downs, you should live with him through his. You wouldn't put your 7 year old up for adoption because you think she's depressed and could have a better life elsewhere, so why do the same for your cat?
posted by melissasaurus at 10:15 PM on January 22, 2010
2. If you abandon it to a shelter, it will likely live there for the rest of its life
3. Try to find someone to take the cat in yourself, if you absolutely must get rid of him
4. [possibly bad advice] if he's lonely adopt another cat to keep him company
5. While the "authorities" will likely not be called, if you ever try to adopt a pet in the future, they will almost certainly ask if you have ever surrendered a pet to a shelter.
6. [warning harsh words may follow] Seriously, your situation is not that bad. Get over it. If you think your cat is lonely, hire a cat sitter (i.e. a poor college undergrad to hang out with your cat during the day). Too many pets are abandoned to shelters because they become too much of a hassle for their owners. Your cat has lived with you through your ups and downs, you should live with him through his. You wouldn't put your 7 year old up for adoption because you think she's depressed and could have a better life elsewhere, so why do the same for your cat?
posted by melissasaurus at 10:15 PM on January 22, 2010
melissasaurus, with respect, not only are your comments not productive/helpful, they're not logical. "You wouldn't put your 7 year old up for adoption because you think she's depressed and could have a better life elsewhere, so why do the same for your cat?" This is a false analogy and completely silly. While I don't understand your tone: "Seriously, your situation is not that bad. Get over it.", I am impressed that you have a comprehensive knowledge of their situation.
posted by sfkiddo at 10:36 PM on January 22, 2010
posted by sfkiddo at 10:36 PM on January 22, 2010
1. Keep the cat inside
Great advice
2. If you abandon it to a shelter, it will likely live there for the rest of its life
Pretty darn close to 90-100% true.
3. Try to find someone to take the cat in yourself, if you absolutely must get rid of him
Awesome advice.
4. [possibly bad advice] if he's lonely adopt another cat to keep him company
Not bad advice, but may not be on target.
5. While the "authorities" will likely not be called, if you ever try to adopt a pet in the future, they will almost certainly ask if you have ever surrendered a pet to a shelter.
True.
6. [warning harsh words may follow] Seriously, your situation is not that bad
True, and the rest is kind of a metaphor.
Not bad advice Melissaurus at all. Both helpful as a direct response to the question and a bit more.
jeoc, I think what is missing is what you have tried up to this point to remedy the situation. If you would share a bit more about everything you have tried and how it has not worked, the responses would be more focused on your actual question (sorry, it is the way it is when it comes to guardianship of another creature).
My own advice is to make sure you tried all the suggestions above, then do the work yourself to find the best fitting home for your cat yourself. That way you can still make sure the cat is o.k. from here on our.
posted by Vaike at 11:57 PM on January 22, 2010
Great advice
2. If you abandon it to a shelter, it will likely live there for the rest of its life
Pretty darn close to 90-100% true.
3. Try to find someone to take the cat in yourself, if you absolutely must get rid of him
Awesome advice.
4. [possibly bad advice] if he's lonely adopt another cat to keep him company
Not bad advice, but may not be on target.
5. While the "authorities" will likely not be called, if you ever try to adopt a pet in the future, they will almost certainly ask if you have ever surrendered a pet to a shelter.
True.
6. [warning harsh words may follow] Seriously, your situation is not that bad
True, and the rest is kind of a metaphor.
Not bad advice Melissaurus at all. Both helpful as a direct response to the question and a bit more.
jeoc, I think what is missing is what you have tried up to this point to remedy the situation. If you would share a bit more about everything you have tried and how it has not worked, the responses would be more focused on your actual question (sorry, it is the way it is when it comes to guardianship of another creature).
My own advice is to make sure you tried all the suggestions above, then do the work yourself to find the best fitting home for your cat yourself. That way you can still make sure the cat is o.k. from here on our.
posted by Vaike at 11:57 PM on January 22, 2010
It sounds to me as if your cat is stressed (pooping) and showing normal cat behaviour (scratching).
Recently I had a lot of work done in my home which upset one of my cats (who, being British, are indoor/outdoor cats with their own cat flap). There was a lot of disruption and big, noisy men in the house all day while I was out at work. When the work was finished and it was just us again, she started peeing and pooping indoors - twice on my bed, while I was in it. This was way outside her normal behaviour - my cats come and go as they please through their little door and so they pee outdoors in the forest where I live, (and before I get piled on for this, we don't have coyotes, etc. in the UK, I live in a cul-de-sac in a forest, so they're safe from traffic, and every cat in the area lives like this).
I got a couple of Feliway plug-ins and these seemed to make a big difference, she calmed down almost immediately. I'd suggest Feliway, and, if he's being bullied by other cats in the neighbourhood, keep him indoors for a while, so he knows home is safe.
As for the scratching, buy some sisal scratching posts from a pet store and spray them with catnip spray to draw the cat to them. Keep his claws trimmed or use those claw cover things, if they work (I have no experience of them).
posted by essexjan at 12:43 AM on January 23, 2010
Recently I had a lot of work done in my home which upset one of my cats (who, being British, are indoor/outdoor cats with their own cat flap). There was a lot of disruption and big, noisy men in the house all day while I was out at work. When the work was finished and it was just us again, she started peeing and pooping indoors - twice on my bed, while I was in it. This was way outside her normal behaviour - my cats come and go as they please through their little door and so they pee outdoors in the forest where I live, (and before I get piled on for this, we don't have coyotes, etc. in the UK, I live in a cul-de-sac in a forest, so they're safe from traffic, and every cat in the area lives like this).
I got a couple of Feliway plug-ins and these seemed to make a big difference, she calmed down almost immediately. I'd suggest Feliway, and, if he's being bullied by other cats in the neighbourhood, keep him indoors for a while, so he knows home is safe.
As for the scratching, buy some sisal scratching posts from a pet store and spray them with catnip spray to draw the cat to them. Keep his claws trimmed or use those claw cover things, if they work (I have no experience of them).
posted by essexjan at 12:43 AM on January 23, 2010
Sometimes you have to put grandpa in a home. Especially when he's pooping on the rug.
I kid. But I'm serious. A cat that's pooping on the rug is an unhappy cat, and anonymous needs to do something for it. Giving him up is one option.
posted by gjc at 7:48 AM on January 23, 2010
I kid. But I'm serious. A cat that's pooping on the rug is an unhappy cat, and anonymous needs to do something for it. Giving him up is one option.
posted by gjc at 7:48 AM on January 23, 2010
Thanks for all the responses, both supportive and challenging.
The pooping frankly doesn't bother me - he poops on the floor (99% of the time on the hardwoods) and I clean it up and move on with my life. It is a HUGE issue for my husband, though, who keeps saying it is a health hazard for our daughter (I don't agree with that - she's not going to play with it or try to eat it or anything). The scratching is more of a problem, and has been more of a problem long-term. There are some good suggestions for that here, and I'll try those.
I also agree with the advice about keeping him inside. He does cry to go outside, but it isn't a safe place for him. In addition to the aggressive cats, there are coyotes here. The other day we had a couple of 3-foot wild turkeys wander into our back patio while he was outside. They were very bold, and no doubt very frightening.
Knowing what he is likely to face in a shelter is very helpful as we consider this. Our cat (Max) gets regular visits to the vet (annually and when something is wrong), but I hadn't considered taking him to the vet for the pooping issues. I'll schedule an appointment on Monday.
I did switch his litter to the soft feline pine stuff and I think he didn't like it. I'm back to clay (YUK!!), but that hasn't addressed the problem. He seemed to do well with the wheat litter that feels a little more like clay. His litter box area was also disturbed over the past few months. My husband decided the room Max's litter box was in should be the home of his home-made LCD projector, and over time all of Max's things (cat condo, food, litterbox) were moved out of "Max's" room and into other areas.
I would LOVE to get another cat. A few years after his brother died, we took in a stray that my father-in-law found as a kitten. He was a great friend and companion to Max, but he died after a few years of complications from feline leukemia. We've joked about how getting another cat wouldn't be fair to the other cat, since Max appears to be the angel of death. But trying to find decent places to rent with one cat is hard enough - much more difficult with two cats.
As I read through what I have written here, it occurs to me that this may be more of a marital problem and less of a cat problem.
In any case, I appreciate everyone who has taken the time to think about me and Max and our problems. I really do love my cat, and I just want to make sure I am doing the best thing for him and for us.
posted by jeoc at 7:33 PM on January 23, 2010
The pooping frankly doesn't bother me - he poops on the floor (99% of the time on the hardwoods) and I clean it up and move on with my life. It is a HUGE issue for my husband, though, who keeps saying it is a health hazard for our daughter (I don't agree with that - she's not going to play with it or try to eat it or anything). The scratching is more of a problem, and has been more of a problem long-term. There are some good suggestions for that here, and I'll try those.
I also agree with the advice about keeping him inside. He does cry to go outside, but it isn't a safe place for him. In addition to the aggressive cats, there are coyotes here. The other day we had a couple of 3-foot wild turkeys wander into our back patio while he was outside. They were very bold, and no doubt very frightening.
Knowing what he is likely to face in a shelter is very helpful as we consider this. Our cat (Max) gets regular visits to the vet (annually and when something is wrong), but I hadn't considered taking him to the vet for the pooping issues. I'll schedule an appointment on Monday.
I did switch his litter to the soft feline pine stuff and I think he didn't like it. I'm back to clay (YUK!!), but that hasn't addressed the problem. He seemed to do well with the wheat litter that feels a little more like clay. His litter box area was also disturbed over the past few months. My husband decided the room Max's litter box was in should be the home of his home-made LCD projector, and over time all of Max's things (cat condo, food, litterbox) were moved out of "Max's" room and into other areas.
I would LOVE to get another cat. A few years after his brother died, we took in a stray that my father-in-law found as a kitten. He was a great friend and companion to Max, but he died after a few years of complications from feline leukemia. We've joked about how getting another cat wouldn't be fair to the other cat, since Max appears to be the angel of death. But trying to find decent places to rent with one cat is hard enough - much more difficult with two cats.
As I read through what I have written here, it occurs to me that this may be more of a marital problem and less of a cat problem.
In any case, I appreciate everyone who has taken the time to think about me and Max and our problems. I really do love my cat, and I just want to make sure I am doing the best thing for him and for us.
posted by jeoc at 7:33 PM on January 23, 2010
And I'm not anonymous. Maybe I should have been, but I'm not.
My name is jeoc, and my cat is pooping on my floor.
posted by jeoc at 7:34 PM on January 23, 2010
My name is jeoc, and my cat is pooping on my floor.
posted by jeoc at 7:34 PM on January 23, 2010
I hadn't considered taking him to the vet for the pooping issues.>>
With all due respect, this seems very odd to me. So, he goes to the vet regularly, but you've never mentioned this pooping issue? Cats are FASTIDIOUS. They don't poop outside of the box unless something is wrong, either emotionally or physically. This is a message to you, and not just the way this cat is (unless he's been doing this for 12 years, in which case...well, I've never heard of a cat who goes outside of the box as a matter of course, unless it's an outdoor cat).
I have a very feisty 3 year old cat who insists on scratching doorjambs (I also rent). I put this stuff on all of them but one (because I ran out). That one is scratched, and I will repair it, but the others aren't scratched because of this product, which is essentially wide, long strips of double sided tape that won't harm furniture or wood. And it's cheap.
And though I'm not a proponent of de-clawing, I'd suggest that before giving him up to a shelter, for all the reasons others have laid out.
And keep him inside. All of these issues seem solvable. Unless you literally never pay attention to him because you are no longer interested, everything else seems like it has at least one workaround. I'm very much in the "fix issues and keep cat" camp. 12 is not that OLD for a cat, by the way. But I agree with wondermouse that it seems like you're looking for reasons to give the cat away.
posted by FlyByDay at 9:23 PM on January 23, 2010
With all due respect, this seems very odd to me. So, he goes to the vet regularly, but you've never mentioned this pooping issue? Cats are FASTIDIOUS. They don't poop outside of the box unless something is wrong, either emotionally or physically. This is a message to you, and not just the way this cat is (unless he's been doing this for 12 years, in which case...well, I've never heard of a cat who goes outside of the box as a matter of course, unless it's an outdoor cat).
I have a very feisty 3 year old cat who insists on scratching doorjambs (I also rent). I put this stuff on all of them but one (because I ran out). That one is scratched, and I will repair it, but the others aren't scratched because of this product, which is essentially wide, long strips of double sided tape that won't harm furniture or wood. And it's cheap.
And though I'm not a proponent of de-clawing, I'd suggest that before giving him up to a shelter, for all the reasons others have laid out.
And keep him inside. All of these issues seem solvable. Unless you literally never pay attention to him because you are no longer interested, everything else seems like it has at least one workaround. I'm very much in the "fix issues and keep cat" camp. 12 is not that OLD for a cat, by the way. But I agree with wondermouse that it seems like you're looking for reasons to give the cat away.
posted by FlyByDay at 9:23 PM on January 23, 2010
Hey, jeoc, you might consider Cat Attract litter. My cats like it much better than all the other brands I've tried, including the Feline Pine and the wheat stuff.
Also, if you swipe the pooped- or peed-upon area with a little vinegar, it should neutralize any smells that you can smell, as well as the smell that kitty can smell and which lures him back to that spot next time. And as an added bonus, vinegar is a mild disinfectant, so it should appease your husband's ick factor.
Good luck. Your vet should have lots of helpful advice.
posted by SuperSquirrel at 8:30 AM on January 24, 2010
Also, if you swipe the pooped- or peed-upon area with a little vinegar, it should neutralize any smells that you can smell, as well as the smell that kitty can smell and which lures him back to that spot next time. And as an added bonus, vinegar is a mild disinfectant, so it should appease your husband's ick factor.
Good luck. Your vet should have lots of helpful advice.
posted by SuperSquirrel at 8:30 AM on January 24, 2010
HAPPY KITTY
As others have said, get him checked out by a vet to make sure his little body is okay. If elimination is uncomfortable for him, he's going to avoid the litter box, as he associates it with pain.
Get Feliway. Consider placing a few diffusers throughout the apartment. This is going to help reduce his stress and increase his comfort with his surroundings. It may help to reduce or eliminate behavior problems. I've had really good results with Feliway, and a lot of people here rave about it.
Definitely keep him inside. Not only is going out dangerous for him, it sounds like it's ultimately introducing stress. He's not going to be happy about it at first, and he may scratch at the door area. Use products that will protect the area from his scratching.
Frankly, I'd hold off on getting another cat. There's no guarantee it will help your cat or that they'll get along, and introducing another animal into your home is a stressful event for cats. It has the potential to aggravate behaviors related to territoriality. Instead, I'd suggest giving him affection when you're home. His little world revolves around his people. Pet him in passing when you don't have time to sit and cuddle with him, and give him some love in the evenings. Let him amuse and comfort you, in turn. When you're gone, make sure he has interesting, interactive toys to keep him busy.
You haven't brought it up, but I'm going to throw this in: punishing your cat when he misbehaves (e.g., yelling or squirting him with water if he knows the water is coming from you) will not solve the behavior problems. It will introduce stress and distrust. At best, it will keep him from doing the behaviors in front of you. If the punishment happens after the event has passed, the cat does not know why you are punishing him. If you take him to his poop to chastise him or rub his nose in it, all he understands is that you are scaring him. Keep a loving connection, and find effective ways of eliminating these problems.
CAT LITTER
Because your cat has begun avoiding the litter box, you're going to have to put extra energy into getting him to come back to it. The cat litter area needs to be physically and psychologically comfortable for him. At this point, to convince him that it's where he wants to go, it needs to be downright attractive.
Make sure that it is in a quiet, private place. Consider getting an additional box, as some cats prefer to pee in one box and poop in another. Both boxes should be large and easy to get in and out of, especially now that your cat is getting older. Avoid top-entry boxes, and unless your cat stands up to pee, i.e., pees against the box's wall, avoid hooded boxes as well. (One of ours stands to pee. We've got a giant storage bin with an entry hole cut in the side, and it works beautifully.)
Skip the box liners, and instead go for clumping litter and good maintenance habits. Use Dr. Elsey's Cat Attract litter, and clean the box(es) at least once per day. For your guy, at least to start out with, consider scooping twice daily. Fill the box with enough litter to keep urine from reaching the bottom. When you clean the box, start from one end and excavate to the other, scooping the litter away from the urine balls to expose them enough to get the scoop under them and take them out without breaking them up. If there's a urine ball stuck to the bottom or side of the box, get it off with as little breakage as possible, then wipe the area down with a 20% bleach/water mixture. Supplement with additional litter when needed, and replace the whole contents when the litter itself begins to smell even the tiniest bit.
If you have a grass mat in front of the litter box to help contain litter spread, get rid of it. Use something comfortable for him to walk on.
When he has eliminated outside of the box, consider using water, then Nature's Miracle. I use Nature's Miracle to wipe down the litter box after we've dumped old litter and cleaned the box.
SCRATCHING
There's some good advice upthread about addressing the scratching issue. There's a bunch of good advice online, and you may find this thread particularly helpful. Finding ways to protect what he's scratching and using repellent products could both help. Find something he likes to scratch, such as a cardboard or sisal or carpet scratcher, stick some fresh cat nip on it, and put it near the areas he scratches. When he scratches a forbidden place, pick him up and place him at the scratch toy. Reward him with a treat when you catch him scratching his scratch toy.
Clipping our cat's claws and getting them a cat tree has almost eliminated our cats' inappropriate scratching.
Good luck. I hope everything works out in a way that is best for cat and humans alike.
posted by moira at 10:50 AM on January 24, 2010
As others have said, get him checked out by a vet to make sure his little body is okay. If elimination is uncomfortable for him, he's going to avoid the litter box, as he associates it with pain.
Get Feliway. Consider placing a few diffusers throughout the apartment. This is going to help reduce his stress and increase his comfort with his surroundings. It may help to reduce or eliminate behavior problems. I've had really good results with Feliway, and a lot of people here rave about it.
Definitely keep him inside. Not only is going out dangerous for him, it sounds like it's ultimately introducing stress. He's not going to be happy about it at first, and he may scratch at the door area. Use products that will protect the area from his scratching.
Frankly, I'd hold off on getting another cat. There's no guarantee it will help your cat or that they'll get along, and introducing another animal into your home is a stressful event for cats. It has the potential to aggravate behaviors related to territoriality. Instead, I'd suggest giving him affection when you're home. His little world revolves around his people. Pet him in passing when you don't have time to sit and cuddle with him, and give him some love in the evenings. Let him amuse and comfort you, in turn. When you're gone, make sure he has interesting, interactive toys to keep him busy.
You haven't brought it up, but I'm going to throw this in: punishing your cat when he misbehaves (e.g., yelling or squirting him with water if he knows the water is coming from you) will not solve the behavior problems. It will introduce stress and distrust. At best, it will keep him from doing the behaviors in front of you. If the punishment happens after the event has passed, the cat does not know why you are punishing him. If you take him to his poop to chastise him or rub his nose in it, all he understands is that you are scaring him. Keep a loving connection, and find effective ways of eliminating these problems.
CAT LITTER
Because your cat has begun avoiding the litter box, you're going to have to put extra energy into getting him to come back to it. The cat litter area needs to be physically and psychologically comfortable for him. At this point, to convince him that it's where he wants to go, it needs to be downright attractive.
Make sure that it is in a quiet, private place. Consider getting an additional box, as some cats prefer to pee in one box and poop in another. Both boxes should be large and easy to get in and out of, especially now that your cat is getting older. Avoid top-entry boxes, and unless your cat stands up to pee, i.e., pees against the box's wall, avoid hooded boxes as well. (One of ours stands to pee. We've got a giant storage bin with an entry hole cut in the side, and it works beautifully.)
Skip the box liners, and instead go for clumping litter and good maintenance habits. Use Dr. Elsey's Cat Attract litter, and clean the box(es) at least once per day. For your guy, at least to start out with, consider scooping twice daily. Fill the box with enough litter to keep urine from reaching the bottom. When you clean the box, start from one end and excavate to the other, scooping the litter away from the urine balls to expose them enough to get the scoop under them and take them out without breaking them up. If there's a urine ball stuck to the bottom or side of the box, get it off with as little breakage as possible, then wipe the area down with a 20% bleach/water mixture. Supplement with additional litter when needed, and replace the whole contents when the litter itself begins to smell even the tiniest bit.
If you have a grass mat in front of the litter box to help contain litter spread, get rid of it. Use something comfortable for him to walk on.
When he has eliminated outside of the box, consider using water, then Nature's Miracle. I use Nature's Miracle to wipe down the litter box after we've dumped old litter and cleaned the box.
SCRATCHING
There's some good advice upthread about addressing the scratching issue. There's a bunch of good advice online, and you may find this thread particularly helpful. Finding ways to protect what he's scratching and using repellent products could both help. Find something he likes to scratch, such as a cardboard or sisal or carpet scratcher, stick some fresh cat nip on it, and put it near the areas he scratches. When he scratches a forbidden place, pick him up and place him at the scratch toy. Reward him with a treat when you catch him scratching his scratch toy.
Clipping our cat's claws and getting them a cat tree has almost eliminated our cats' inappropriate scratching.
Good luck. I hope everything works out in a way that is best for cat and humans alike.
posted by moira at 10:50 AM on January 24, 2010
Not sure if anyone will come back to check this, but I wanted to give an update on my cat.
I created the most lovely, appealing litter box space in the galaxy. My cat now has a soft mat to control litter spread, and has a gravely but natural litter (sweat scoop). I thoroughly cleaned his litter box and the area. I have been diligently scooping every day.
I got him a new cardboard scratcher and have been liberally dusting it with catnip. Every time I see him scratching on it, I praise him, pet him and sprinkle more catnip on it. Me, my daughter, and my husband have been playing with him, and we got him some new toys.
I haven't been letting him outside. My husband still lets him out, but he seems to want to go out less often and less urgently than he did before.
These changes have helped. He hasn't pooped on the floor since I fixed up his litter box area. With the scratching box he isn't trying to scratch on stuff anymore.
So thanks mefites for kicking my ass a little and reminding me that there are easier, less drastic ways to fix my cat problems. I was just feeling overwhelmed by stresses at home, school and work and the cat issue just seemed like one more stressful, unfixable problem. As it turns out, the cat issues were the most fixable! My cat is happy, my husband is happy, and I'm happy!
posted by jeoc at 7:35 PM on February 19, 2010
I created the most lovely, appealing litter box space in the galaxy. My cat now has a soft mat to control litter spread, and has a gravely but natural litter (sweat scoop). I thoroughly cleaned his litter box and the area. I have been diligently scooping every day.
I got him a new cardboard scratcher and have been liberally dusting it with catnip. Every time I see him scratching on it, I praise him, pet him and sprinkle more catnip on it. Me, my daughter, and my husband have been playing with him, and we got him some new toys.
I haven't been letting him outside. My husband still lets him out, but he seems to want to go out less often and less urgently than he did before.
These changes have helped. He hasn't pooped on the floor since I fixed up his litter box area. With the scratching box he isn't trying to scratch on stuff anymore.
So thanks mefites for kicking my ass a little and reminding me that there are easier, less drastic ways to fix my cat problems. I was just feeling overwhelmed by stresses at home, school and work and the cat issue just seemed like one more stressful, unfixable problem. As it turns out, the cat issues were the most fixable! My cat is happy, my husband is happy, and I'm happy!
posted by jeoc at 7:35 PM on February 19, 2010
YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!! One more kitty saved from the shelters! Great news!
posted by SuperSquirrel at 7:48 AM on February 20, 2010
posted by SuperSquirrel at 7:48 AM on February 20, 2010
I'm so happy -- that's awesome news!! Thanks for sharing, and for saving another kitty from the shelter. Your kitty thanks you as well -- Yay! :)
posted by cgg at 10:24 AM on February 20, 2010
posted by cgg at 10:24 AM on February 20, 2010
I wanted to come back and drop the link most of the litter box tips I posted came from: http://www.catinfo.org/litterbox.htm. The site is full of all sorts of good information.
posted by moira at 11:25 AM on February 21, 2010
posted by moira at 11:25 AM on February 21, 2010
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