Im not a gringo!

November 12, 2009 1:05 PM

European in Mexico. How can i avoid being called a gringo and how do i react elegantly?

Im a German living in Mexico with dark blond hair, light-ish skin and blue eyes. Thus, according to many mexicans, i am a gringo.
I find it quite offensive when they call me this and address me with either "gringo" or "guero".
What can i do to avoid this? and, if colouring my hair black and wearing a fake moustache is the only option, how can i react elegantly and/or humourously?

Feel free to post your own experiences of this here please!

posted by freddymetz to human relations (33 comments total)

According to many mexicans, i am a gringo.
I find it quite offensive when they call me this

Mexicans aren't saying this to be offensive. At worst, they're probably just teasing you. Rising to the bait by being offended means you're losing. You just need to banter back.

Learn to spit some glorious curse back about how you're not a fucking gringo like those stupid yankees and you'll make new friends.
posted by rokusan at 1:08 PM on November 12

Call yourself the same when you're talking about you. Instead of "I am hungry" go for "The gringo is hungry". However it was meant by the guy talking to you, it cannot be offensive anymore if you're using it yourself.
posted by oxit at 1:15 PM on November 12

if colouring my hair black and wearing a fake moustache is the only option

I think you're kidding, but omg don't do this.

I had a friend who lived in another Latin American country for a few months, and because she's of Asian heritage she was repeatedly told that she wasn't American. The only real way to react to this is with humor.
posted by oinopaponton at 1:16 PM on November 12

Actually, you kind of are:

"Recorded evidence suggests it was used in Spain long before it crossed the Atlantic to denote foreign, non-native speakers of Spanish. Although it has various anecdotal etymologies, and various connotative or interpretive meanings, its source appears to be "griego", the Spanish word for "a Greek person" that serves as a colloquial shorthand for any foreign (non-Spanish) person."

If you don't like the term because you find the use of such slang offensive (and many people, American and non-, do feel that way), it's perfectly OK to say, "I really don't like that word, and I'd prefer that you didn't use it in front of me." Others may accuse you of being oversensitive or tease you about it, but you have every right not to ask them to use a word you find offensive.

If, however, you object to them thinking you're American, I'd say you're overreacting a little.
posted by decathecting at 1:22 PM on November 12

"Chinga tu madre." Just kidding, don't say that.
"No soy yanqui." They may or may not appreciate that. Usually in Mexico, only people from the US are gringos, but I would guess that most blonde, blue-eyed people in certain parts of Mexico are Americans (being of fair complexion is not that weird in some parts of Mexico), so it's not like they can tell. You could make a crack against George Bush, but that's probably passe now.

I live in Texas and I really don't care when people call me a gringa because I'm a white American, so whatever. Fair enough, I say. Not worth being riled up over.
posted by ishotjr at 1:22 PM on November 12

Let me clarify a few things, i find it more annoying than offensive and im looking for a clever and funny (and not-too-serious) response to being called gringo. Should i take after a molotov song and retort "frijolero"?
posted by freddymetz at 1:26 PM on November 12

Should i take after a molotov song and retort "frijolero"?
Answer: Definitely not.

As people have stated, your best bet is to make fun of Americans or the US somehow. Actual Mexicans and/or native Spanish-speakers will hopefully chime in on this. Do you have any friends in Mexico who could advise you on this as well?
posted by ishotjr at 1:30 PM on November 12

Mexicans have advised me to just say frijolero.
posted by freddymetz at 1:33 PM on November 12

As people have stated, your best bet is to make fun of Americans or the US somehow
Um, what?
posted by Dolukhanova at 1:34 PM on November 12 [3 favorites]

Start referring to yourself as a "wado" the Mexican equivalent of "Whitey" or "Honkey". This is especially good if paired with "pinche" as in "pinche wado".
posted by Pollomacho at 1:41 PM on November 12

It is interesting that, in Mexico, at least south of the DF, there is more of a European influence than an American one, how people have houses set up, a certain sense of formality, etc.

I would just go with it. If you have the means to live in Mexico as a foreigner (from wherever) then you are in no way an oppressed minority.

That said, the Mexicans who lump you in as a gringo deserve as much consideration as Americans who refer to Mexicans, Panamanians, Chileans, etc. indiscriminately as wetbacks.
posted by Danf at 1:43 PM on November 12

If (and only if) your Spanish is very good, say "¡Yo no soy un gringo!" with an aggressively cheerful tone. That worked very well for my Galician ex-girlfriend while in Ecuador. If your Spanish isn't that good, then unfortunately as a blond, german, non-native Spanish speaker, you *are* a gringo; that doesn't mean that it's right for people to use the term, but it is applicable. The only way to handle it is, as others have said, with grace and humour - which generally means ignoring it, unless you want to turn it into some kind of civil rights issue or big deal in some other way, which probably isn't a good idea.

I'd also try and take something from the experience; for a change (I assume) you're in a minority, you're "the other." Remember what that feels like when you go back to being the norm. (I've spent time in the 3rd world as the only white guy for a hundred miles or so. It was a learning experience for sure, in a good way, although I felt very weird about it at the time.)
posted by buxtonbluecat at 1:49 PM on November 12 [1 favorite]

buxton, my spanish is good enough, and thats what i usually say. But what can i call them back in a non-offensive way?
posted by freddymetz at 1:52 PM on November 12

I can understand not wanting to be called a gringo, because you're not.

Güero, on the other hand, means "blond", which you are.

So, in your shoes, I would retort, laughing, with a hint of a challenge: "¿Qué te pasa? ¡Yo no soy gringo, soy alemán!"

That will ensure a very positive response, but could result in you being cheerfully known as "El Alemán" for the rest of your days.

Now, the fact that you're being addressed in this manner means that whoever is doing it likes you. It is a friendly gesture that acknowledges the fact that you're not from around here, but we like you anyway.

Gringo is not a derogatory term any more than Jew, Oregonian, Chilango, Berliner or French is. To make it insulting, you need to add qualifiers: "¡Pinche gringo de mierda!"/"Fucking Oregonian bastard!" and you need to add a corresponding sneer or scowl. Otherwise, it's just a description.

In Mexico it is extremely common for nicknames among friends to be descriptions of the corresponding person. Thus, Gordo, Pollo, Güero, Negro, Chino, Chaparro, Flaco, Pelón and thousands others.

It's just part of what makes Mexico so enjoyable/frustrating.
posted by Cobalt at 1:53 PM on November 12 [1 favorite]

Being called guero is essentially a statement of fact meaning light skinned or fair complected; it's on the level of being affectionately called blondie. In Houston a popular Hispanic DJ was known as La Guera for her blonde hair and fair skin. As far as being called gringo? Ummm, better than "yankee go home" which I used to see when I was an expatriate child living in Mexico ... that used to hurt my feelings some.
posted by Allee Katze at 1:55 PM on November 12

As people have stated, your best bet is to make fun of Americans or the US somehow.

Works in Canada too.
posted by timeistight at 2:20 PM on November 12

Works in Canada too.

And, as the OP may have come across, works for Canadians in Europe.
posted by Dasein at 3:01 PM on November 12

No soy gringo! Soy gabacho!
posted by klangklangston at 3:04 PM on November 12 [1 favorite]

you ARE a gringo. You are white. White = gringo. Sorry mate. This is not only in Mexico, but all of Latin America. I don't understand why you are so worked up about it.
posted by defcom1 at 3:26 PM on November 12

My mexicana coworker has made me an "official beaner." I can ask her to do the same for you. You will be fully deputized with all rights and privileges appertaining thereunto. And then, when someone calls you a gringo, you can politely let them know that you are now officially - according to "a good friend in Texas" - un frijolero.
posted by greekphilosophy at 3:38 PM on November 12

I really don't see why you're worrying about it -- don't be so uptight. If the word "gringo" is being used innocently (which is the most likely explanation), then you're injecting stress into a situation that doesn't need or deserve it. If it's being used offensively (which I personally doubt), then raising a stink over it will just make you even more of a gringo. Certainly there's no harm in pointing out that you're not American if you feel the need to avoid having the sins of the "real" gringos placed upon you -- but then perhaps this is more about your own prejudice against Americans than the opinions of Mexicans of gringos.

I say this as a Canadian who lived in Mexico for a bit over a year recently BTW.
posted by glider at 3:48 PM on November 12

I'm from Colombia and I agree, you are a gringo. It's not an insult. You are just not from there. And, weirdly enough, the question itself is a very gringo thing to ask. Over here gringo sometimes is synonymous with being clueless.
posted by MrMisterio at 3:49 PM on November 12 [1 favorite]

It's not an insult but it is sometimes synonymous with being clueless?

Color me clueless.
posted by IndigoJones at 4:57 PM on November 12 [2 favorites]

Nthing the above comments that this is meant innocently, and adding that you should listen for what they call the other people around them if you still have any doubts. I can't speak to Mexico, but I've worked in South America and even here in Japan am surrounded by South and Central Americans.

It is common, acceptable, and 100% typical to call people by some descriptor rather than their name. Sometimes it feels awkward to me, too, from my special-snowflake no-hurt-feelings American upbringing. But when they are calling the big Peruvian guy "chubby" and the dark Brazilian "o negro," I can't get too worked up when they apply the same logic to my pasty, gringa self.

Now if ever I could earn the right to be called flaca...

On the retort level, I had to deal with this in Ghana. Everyone calls you "foreigner" "white guy" in the local language, and it gets really tiring. The response that always shocks them is a "dude, I am no foreigner, I speak your local language!" You may find a similar solution here. This does not require fluency, just enough skill to be polite and understandable.
posted by whatzit at 4:58 PM on November 12

I've always felt very welcome in Central and South America as a white guy -- even when called "gringo" (although it wasn't that common). However, traveling in Africa and the Caribbean was a very different experience, with a lot of people sucking their teeth at me and otherwise making it obvious that they were not happy I was in their country...

...I think the key is understanding that the language people use to identify each other can differ greatly, so you need to see past that and feel out their intentions.
posted by glider at 5:10 PM on November 12

I don't have any witty comebacks, because I didn't use any, but I have a few anecdotes.

I (blonde, Scottish) got called guera all the time when I lived in Mexico. I didn't read it as being malicious. I mean, when it's Some Dude walking down the street going, "guerrrriiita!" it's less than pleasant, but when an old lady selling tamales says "aqui tiene, guerita" I couldn't take offense. It's sort of a stamp saying "you look different, and I acknowledge that". I can understand it getting tiring if you feel like people are going out of their way to remind you that you are not in fact from Mexico, but I don't think people want to make you feel uncomfortable. It's a fact of life, and it can be as stressful as you want it to be.

I heard people use "gringo" in a neutral way meaning an American. A friend of mine showed me a photo of her American boyfriend, who she adored, saying "es puro gringo, no?" As I'm sure you're aware, if you're a white person in Mexico, people tend to assume you're from the US. If they ask, you can correct them. I was called a gringa maybe a couple of times, always by people passing me in the street. Once with a real sneer, but otherwise it didn't seem spiteful per se. It's a word which may have a certain baggage, but whether it sounds really horrible depends on the way it's used.

I'd also try and take something from the experience; for a change (I assume) you're in a minority, you're "the other." Remember what that feels like when you go back to being the norm.

I strongly second this. I felt disorientated during my first week in Mexico, when I realised I was the only white person on the metro and so on. It woke me up to some extent to the fact that at home I always unconsciously felt I was part of the majority. Although of course I was only in Mexico temporarily, so I could opt out after my six months there (another privilege). It was sort of Otherness tourism.
posted by the cat's pyjamas at 5:18 PM on November 12 [1 favorite]

Gringo or guero is often just slang for a foreign whitey (which you are), and doesn't generally refer to you being an American (which you aren't). I am pale and blonde, and I got called chela in Nicaragua, macha in Honduras, and mona in Colombia. These same terms were also applied to fair-skinned locals, as I imagive guero probably is in Mexico. These little descriptive nicknames are common in Spanish-speaking countries and not meant to offend. You'll probably hear people call each other gordo, negro, chino, flaco and whatnot constantly.

To answer your question, you can't avoid being called gringo. You can say "no so gringo, soy Aleman!" pr something if you want, but it would seem strange as the term is likely being used as a friendly nickname about your appearance, not your country of origin. So the best thing to do is get over it. If you make a big deal about it, you'll only seem more foreign.
posted by emd3737 at 6:32 PM on November 12

I'm chinese, and I travel to Mexico twice a month. Every Mexican friend calls me "chino". It's not insulting, it's an an affectionate nickname. And when friends call me "pinche chino", it's just friendly teasing.

You gotta get over it, embrace it and go with the flow.
posted by randomstriker at 8:04 PM on November 12

I agree that you just live with guero. The common cultural approach is to be referred to by your most obvious physical feature: gordo, flaco, guero, whatever.

Similar to suggestions above, this is how I dealt with gringa as a Canadian in Costa Rica who refer to themselves as ticos, and were rather racist against Nicaraguans, referred to as nicos.

Typically: "he gringa"; "yo no soy gringa, soy canadiense"; "gringo, canadiense, es el mismo"; "Sos nico?" "No, soy puro tico". "ah, tico, nico, es el mismo".... It was a bit of a humourous, in your face challenge, and usually ended up in a laugh, and not being referred to as a gringa by that person anymore.

Obviously, you'd need to adapt it to the Mexican context.
posted by kch at 10:04 PM on November 12

Late to the game, but if you read his comments, he 'gets' that it is a tease, and is just looking for a good tease/banter back. He is not getting 'all worked up'.

I would have fun with making the distinction of Aleman over Gringo, as if they are not getting it right. That could be fun.
posted by Vaike at 11:02 AM on November 13

Just to clarify my previous answer, here in LA, both Gringo and Gabacho are used for white folks; saying "¡No soy gringo, soy gabacho!" would be like saying, "I'm not whitey, I'm a honky!"

How much actual Mexican usage corresponds to LA "Mexican" usage (as LA Spanish is a great big melting pot of Latin American Spanish), that I couldn't tell you, but it's a playful retort.
posted by klangklangston at 1:27 PM on November 13

Lots of folks have already chimed in with good stuff, so at this point all I can really do is back them up and add one more data point. As most have said, these kind of descriptors are almost never intended as an insult and accepting it with good humor is the best strategy. Answer back with "frijolero" o "mojado" u otra palabra despectiva? Hell no, unless you're *really* good friends with the person.

I don't get called gringo very often here (though I am one). But "güero" is really common. At the Tuesday street market, "Qué le damos, güero?" At one corner store on my block, I'm known as "güerote" (big whitey). At the other, I'm "jovenazo" (giant young man).

In fact, the only time in four years I've experienced a clear insult was when a car full of dudes drove past me on the street and yelled out, "¡Pinche gringo puto!" for no particular reason. I yelled back something along the lines of how they were chilango trash who could go get good and fucked. But the phrase that came first to my lips was one I picked up while living in Spain, so it probably just sounded oddly old-world to them. In any case, this was absolutely the exception.

Nobody would ever mistake me for a local, but sometimes my accent is not immediately identifiable. So I'm asked, "¿de dónde eres?" I find that I can almost always get a laugh and it's a good icebreaker to be a little self-deprecating about it. "¿Yo? Pues, soy de gabacholandia, güey," Substitute "señor" for "güey" depending on the social context of who you're talking to. (Maybe think of a German equivalent. "No soy gringo; soy de Volkswagenlandia," or something more clever.) "Pero llevo rato viviendo acá, ya van cuatro años, así que me he vuelto medio chilango." Show you're familiar with the language and can play around with the slang a little bit. That elevates you to something more than a common turista or fresh-off-the-boat clueless extranjero.

Other times when asked where I'm from, I suggest they guess, based on my accent, appearance and clothing. Turn it into a game, fun for everyone.

Actually: Just listen to Cobalt. He's a smart man, both in person and on the Internets.
posted by donpedro at 1:50 PM on November 13

I agree heartily with Cobalt and donpedro - just say you're not a gringo, say you´re german and be a little bit cocky about it, or act like you are exaggeratedly offended, in a joking way.

There is nothing you can do about being called "guero" - you just have to alter your understanding of the term. It's sooooooo normal to call people by nicknames here, it´s kind of like saying calling someone you don´t know "friend." You are "guero", and it just happens to be your most obvious physical characteristic.
posted by Locochona at 4:53 PM on November 15