CAN YOU TELL HOW INTENSELY WORRIED I AM ABOUT THESE ISSUES (tears out hair)
September 16, 2009 2:04 PM Subscribe
A question about how to calm down. I am having a lot of trouble formulating this question, so forgive me if it's a little bit all over the place.
posted by prefpara to Human Relations (37 answers total) 27 users marked this as a favorite
Dear Metafilter. Thanks in advance for your help & patience. I can't figure out how to ask this question, so let me just describe the problem I am having as I experience it.
Basically, I am a stress basket. Everything stresses me out. Most of all, interpersonal stuff makes me nuts. I overthink a lot of my social interactions, and it's really hard for me to let go if I think I've annoyed or offended someone.
In the past, when I have been in a good relationship, spending time with my boyfriend would be a strong antidote. He made me feel completely accepted, warts and stress and all. However, being single has not led to any discovery of an analogous de-stress mechanism (except I like hot baths, but this is impossible in my apartment). So I get wound up, and can’t wind down. The more stressed and upset I get, the more affected I am by things which are, in the big picture, not so important.
I think I am driving everyone around me crazy because I am always at a 10 on the emotional intensity scale. I am not the relaxed, comfortable, easy-to-be-around person I’d like to be. I don’t want to be this stressed all the time.
I guess I am asking how I can relax when I don’t have my family or a boyfriend around to make me feel accepted and OK with who I am. I am working on being my own best friend and loving myself as I am, but it doesn’t work all the time (should I just accept that this is a process, it takes time, and I need to give myself permission to get there slowly?). Especially when I feel criticized or rejected by my friends.
I welcome your thoughts and advice. Especially if you can think of a way for me to take a hot bath in NYC without owning a usable bathtub. How do I relax? How do I envelop myself in loving acceptance when there isn’t someone else to do it for me?